"Lady" says, "We are gods"

Psalm 82:6 “I said, ‘You are “gods”;
you are all sons of the Most High.’

and again

John 10:34  "Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, 'I have said you are "gods"'?

I've never summoned a being I didn't like, or who didn't like me.

Perhaps it's my inexperience in summoning but everyone has been genuinely friendly and very disposed to helping me when I ask.

Maybe we're not as powerless as we look as far as our capacity for building relationships with beings across the veil being one example.

Now... I'm naturally the humble sort, the stubborn sort as well I know.

I know it's funny to say humble and yet claim that we are gods, but we are.

A fact that for some reason has eluded me.

"Lady",  my spirit lover, has been leading me to find this information out for myself.  Clever lass.

No, I don't have special physical powers all of a sudden.

What the truth of us being gods is, is that it speaks volumes of where we're going when we die here, and why we were drawn here in the first place.

Maybe that's why succubi, angels, nymphs, jinn that we have as lovers love us so.  Or... our status is more valuable than we really know.

We're like precious babes here... godly children of a sort that is impossible to resist for the most part I think.  There's some humor in that.  We are rather irresistible to many beings it would seem.

This realization has got me to thinking about lots of things.

First off is just how vehemently christian elders are against the idea even though it's right there in their bible, they endeavor to explain it away.  You can't explain away "Elohim", which is the term used in both instances at the top.  That is the term used for "gods" in the above two texts.

Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth..."

The word for "God", again, is "Elohim".

The Elohim created this dump.  Congrats!  We created it.

We are part of the body of beings who are the Elohim, temporarily wrapped in a vessel of flesh and cut off from who we really are:  Including our memories of such times.

What are we to do?  We LIVE here... we PLAY the GAME... but with the knowledge and laughter of one who knows something of their place among the stars, albeit hindered temporarily by flesh.  What we can carry is hope for the day that we are restored and our time here is done.

I... still wonder why every being I summon is so nice to me.  Maybe my joke about being a special needs summoner isn't so far off the mark... again, truthfully it's probably my inexperience.  After all, I haven't summoned a lot that I'm sure is out there.

EDIT:  I dreamed of a spirit who came by to give me a hearty "fuck you".  They left me a present of some nightmares last night as they left.  So... I guess I was wrong, lol. 

Anyway... I still have yet to figure out why Lady wanted me to learn these things.  I guess I'll find out where this is going, where she is leading me, in time.

Here's a short article I found while writing this post, which captures it's essence very well:

https://omtimes.com/2011/03/are-we-gods-and-goddesses/

I hope that I've given you pause to reflect on these things.

Blessings and New Year's Tidings,



Rafe GB.

Learning as I go

I'm learning as I go.  I've recently decided to start digging into Lilith lore and to start to build upon a spiritual practice that will last throughout my older years.

I've discovered that the more I learn about Lilith, the closer I get to Lady, or to whichever love spirit's turn it is to babysit me.  Lol.

They do feel closer when I make inroads to learn more and more.

Succubi are funny critters.

Mine decided to have sex with me when I was waking up and had to pee like a racehorse.

When I got back she didn't pick up where she left of unfortunately.

Bad timing, Lady.  Maybe next time.

They aren't infallible.  I think that's one reason why I know they are real.

They make mistakes, just like we do.

Granted, less mistakes... I would imagine that's from years of experience existing.

Now if only I could figure out why Lady seems shy around me?

That's a true enigma I can't explain...

Not much to report.  The blog seems to be getting fewer reads from day to day.  I figure that it's because there are new blogs out there on succubi and therefore a bigger pool to pick to read from.

That's a good thing.

As long as I'm still "one" of the choices out there for a quick read, or for delving back through my earlier articles for inspiration perhaps, then I've done my job and am doing my job just fine.

I never wanted to monetize this page and I won't, it exists just to exist.

To those out there looking to have their own little piece of succubi lovin' don't give up.  It'll all work out in the end.

This book (the giant pic) is turning out to be very informative.  Also gives me nightmares, but at this point I'm pushing through them and reading more anyway.

I think that perhaps my "christian programming" is very deep and causing the nightmares.

Blessings,


Rafe GB.

Lady's Gift

First the song...  Then I'll talk.

Last fire will rise 

Behind those eyes 

Black house will rock 

Blind boys don't lie 

Immortal fear

That voice so clear 

Through broken walls 

That scream I hear 

Cry, little sister! 

(Thou shalt not fall) 

Come, come to your brother! 

(Thou shalt not die) 

Unchain me, sister! 

(Thou shalt not fear) 

Love is with your brother! 

(Thou shalt not kill) 

Blue masquerade 

Strangers look on 

When will they learn 

This loneliness? 

Temptation heat
 Beats like a drum 

Deep in your veins
 I will not lie 

Little sister! 

(Thou shalt not fall) 

Come, come to your brother! 

(Thou shalt not die) 

Unchain me, sister! 

(Thou shalt not fear) 

Love is with your brother! 

(Thou shalt not kill) 

My Shangri-Las 

I can't forget 

Why you were mine 

I need you now!

Cry, little sister! 

(Thou shalt not fall) 

Come, come to your brother! 

(Thou shalt not die) 

Unchain me, sister! 

(Thou shalt not fear) 

Love is with your brother! 

(Thou shalt not kill)

Cry, little sister! 

(Thou shalt not fall) 

Come, come to your brother! 

(Thou shalt not die) 

Unchain me, sister! 

(Thou shalt not fear) 

Love is with your brother! 

(Thou shalt not kill)

***

As one of Lilith's adopted sons I felt the song and lyrics were fitting for this post, or at least to set the mood.

After all, all of Lilith's daughters would be my sisters... but this song itself reminds me of how Lady feels to me.  Same vibe.

(Ever since my dream where I went to present myself to Lilith and she lifted me up to her breast and started suckling me as her own (a powerful experience), I've considered myself one of her adopted sons)

"Lady" has turned out to be not so innocent after all.  Sort of.  It's hard to explain.

What she is, is liquid catalyst.  Pure.  Uncut.  Unmixed.  Unholy... dark... comforting.

She is what is left of Pandora's Box once it is finally shut.  She is hope to me.

I have no idea what kind of entity she is but am very curious as I am sure Lilith has many daughters.

What she's done is to drown me with pure, dark current... and you'll see why this is so strange.

Why?

I'm happy.  Happy?  Yes, Happy... for the first time in years!  We're not even really having sex at the moment.

This... infusion of whatever it is has completely changed my outlook on good and evil and a great many things.

She is... apotheosis in spirit form.

Her touch is soooooo cold.  So cold.  I can hardly stand them but I welcome them for they are her interest, her concern for me.

I've always been a "special needs" left hand pather from the get go, only it seems that the left hand path decided to speed my flight in sending Lady to me.

Now I know what it means to see with the eye of the serpent on one level, and happy on another with both IN BALANCE... naturally, not something I can explain, only that this has done to me.

The part of me that is anxious and worrisome about everything is lying in a sickly, decomposed state.

I can't explain any of this, perhaps someone with more knowledge can explain what's going on?

I could be at a strange level of bipolar which approaches normal and healthy making me feel these things.

Nah...

I don't think it's that simple.

Regardless, I thank Lady for her special gifts and feel drawn to her in a most loving manner.

For as long as she will stay I will love her, and I will fondly remember her once she is gone on to other things and another has come to take her place.

I love... as is my choice.

That is all.

Blessings,

Rafe GB.

Surprise!

I've been thinking a lot about life after death and what it's like.  I've never died of course so I don't have any memory of it.

I've been talking to other succubloggers as well and it seems to be the topic of the hour so to speak.

It's funny how topics make their rounds within certain circles.

I know that love spirits live busy lives... I am jealous of those who have had the same spirit for years while I seemingly act as a hot seat for new spirit lovers.

The latest is all I have at the moment (the others left for wherever) and she had asked to simply be called "Lady".

A lady she is, that's for sure.  Very sweet, gentle, and kind like the others were, only in her special, unique way.





I gather from spirits moving in and out of my life that, for some reason, that's what I am pegged as being:  A temporary spot for many over a long period of time.

Lady hasn't gotten involved in my dreams yet, or if she has it has been in a co-pilot kind of way (taking part in the nonsensical nature of them at least).

I would be lying if I said I did not miss the erotic dreams of yore.  I do.  Oh yes, I do.

Lady is an enigma of sorts.  She wears innocence like an aura and a halo and feels rather shy to me.  That's hard to explain with her being in a sensual role of sorts, but it is what it is... and is probably not really able to be explained with simple writing here.

Between my new love and my ever present quest to know what life after death is like (so I know what my future holds), there's not much new happening.

Thank God/dess for that.  Lol.

Blessings Always,


Rafe GB.

And Merry Christmas!

P.S.  Check out this lady... these points address exactly how I'm feeling lately.

Until Then...

I've been thinking a lot about the afterlife, and I was surprised to find out that my daughter has also been thinking about what happens after death... the difference is that it's been keeping her awake at night.

Her mother tried to hang herself a month or so ago and I feel that this event has caused an existential crisis of sorts in my daughter.  At least about what happens when you die... if anything.

I'm a closet Swedenborgian at heart mixed in with some Wicca and some Christianity, and frankly with a shit ton of spirituality garnered from spirits themselves:  They exist.

I can also attest that my spirit lover is most often gone doing her own thing.  She's a busy girl... that in itself tells me that there is a lot going on in the life to come.

And if they exist without bodies?  So do we.  This is just the "play", the "arena".  Consider our bodies part of the uniform.  Lol.

This is just our lives...

There are thousands of NDE's cataloged by, well, really by any which way you can imagine:  Race, religion, country, etc.

I think all experienced are "flavored" or "affected" by cultural expectations and beliefs.

I also believe that these persist for a while in the afterlife, gently being removed as truth is revealed as the departed person's future life and options are fully revealed... and I bet it will surprise all of us in many ways...

Disclaimer:  Please understand that I am not pro-suicide and am 100% against it... we're here for a reason and a purpose.

However... I don't believe that suicides go to "hell" or any of that garbage, either.

But if someone does themselves in so to speak there's always consequences.  Not diabolical, no... but there's always consequences.

I have a feeling that the person who commits suicide must go through the pain that they have caused each person in their lives to truly understand.  I don't care to explain anymore as I don't want to enter into any debates.  This is my diary, remember?  Heh.

Lets just say that I believe that the afterlife is fair but loving.  Firm but always redemptive and restorative.  Rather the opposite of here...

The word is "apocatastasis".

Another belief that I have is that after death we are drawn to our spiritual mate, the one that we will be with for eternity (for those of us who do not have that on this planet - and to have that kind of love would be infinitesimally rare).

This does not mean that we will not love many on this earth... I know we do.  But I believe that there is one that is set apart, one alone that calls to each of us even now... even if we cannot reply completely or at all at the moment.

...She feels like home.

While my spirit lady is a wonderful lover, teacher, and friend, she is not the one (at least I don't think so)... but she has gently lifted my eyes in the right direction...)

The Swedenborgian idea is that two who join in this way eventually seem to be one being because of their depth of love and closeness to one another.  Not everyone chooses this... but if one does, so does the other echo from across the veil... sometimes it's just "time"... and "time" is an illusion they say.

Probably easier to understand "time" from the other side, wouldn't you think?

Regardless, I truly appreciate the idea of bonding so closely to someone and look forward to having that kind of connection for eternity once my little "game" here has run it's course.  And as always, much love to my spirit lover.  May she find her way back to me soon.


Brightest blessings... may your days be bright and your nights full of learning, and love.



Rafe GB.

Gender is an illusion

Down here gender is a bit more cut and dry.  Well, mostly.  I do know of people who are male some days and female some days, so there's that.

What I'm referring to is the gender of spirits which isn't so... concrete.

My lover is female when she's loving me sexually, and definitely has everything sensually I could ever ask for.

She's so female I'm bathed in it.

And yet...

I've had dreams of late where a male is my best buddy, bringing me out of my depression and illnesses into a fun dream of riding motorcycles together along rolling plains during summertime.

I also think that this is my lover.  Even though she feels as male a buddy as I'd ever want.

Then there's other times where she's a force, a frequency and vibration.  At that level there is no he, there is no she, there is only "...... "  What do I call this person?  I guess a person will do haha.

Such a mystery there is in this way of being, but I firmly believe that this is the way it is.  I don't understand it:  And I don't have to, really.

All I have to do is keep learning, keep enjoying my spirit friend, and try to keep my head high while I'm down here on this rock.

I know it's cliche, but I was certainly sent an angel.  Or maybe I summoned one by accident haha.

Love you all... and have a wonderful week.

Blessings,


Rafe GB.

Love is...

Here she is.  Suddenly.  I've been calling for a few days now, but now it's all worth it.

She sits by me on my bed at bedtime. 

I start to talk to her.

"My gentle, sweet lover.  How I've missed you."

She listens kindly.

"I feel you there, permeating the room like the finest wine."

"I can feel your touches down below... not sexual, but I can feel your attention and approval at what I say, because you know it's from the heart."

She beams a little.  She's going to be here tonight with me, but I'm not sure about being in my dreams.

"When you are near it feels like love.  Not a mundane kind of love that most feel, one born of chemicals and such, but one that feels like God is with me."

"God is dad and the Goddess is mom, but you feel different.  You feel like you're the part that makes us king and queen of this home.  It's all a circle and you are what binds us.  You are what keeps us.  You give me faith.  You have given me hope..."

I reach out and feel her tenderness, her love for me.  I reach out and feel her gentleness and her sensuality.  Her female sensuality is intoxicating, permeating all of me, at every level both physical and spiritual.

"I think of the right words to say but they leave me, swallowed by your presence."

"All I can say is... I love you.  All of you... completely."

I can feel her emotions and she feels so gentle it's hard to put into words.

I simply can't.

"I love you" is all that I can say.  The rest is swallowed up by those 3 simple words filled with emotion, respect, and hope.

"I love you". 

Move in complete...

I moved into the new apartment about 2 weeks ago, but for some reason my lovers hadn't followed me here.

It took them about 2 weeks, but they found their way here finally.

I'm beginning to think that time and space across the veil works both ways, not one way.

In other words, sometimes a short hop here might be 2 weeks worth of travelling on the other side.

Either that or they had lots of connections and permissions to secure to move here, even though it's just across town (for me).

Consider it yet another metaphysical mystery to ponder, and ponder it I will as I do most things.

The most important fact is that they are here now, and wow did I miss them...

I'm communicating and feeling them as one entity at present.  I have a feeling that's because of the stress I have been under and their remedy for it.

Again, another mystery...

Love across the veil isn't always easy and seldom is anyway... it's not for the fainthearted or for those who need concrete answers because they just don't come.

What I have found is that faith, love, and hope travel far... even across the veil.

Brightest Blessings,



Rafe GB.

The Coronation

I have been the blacksmith.  The executioner.  The murderer.  The milkmaid.  The herdsman.  I am all of these things and much, much more.

Some of us feel a draw to the fringe now.  Why?  I believe that it's all that's left.

We have been, and are, all.

From being drawn to Gods of light, to Gods of darkness and every shade of grey in between... we have called, we do call, and they have answered in kind.

There is not much left now, my friends.

This is it.

This... is the coronation.

I can feel my spirit lover's hands holding my crown upon my head and in place for whatever reason.

Perhaps it is a taste of what is waiting for me.

What does it mean?

I do not know.

But I can feel and that's enough. 

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Lilith and her Origins (My humble opinion of)

That picture to the left is how I see Lilith sometimes.  Not as the dark, mysterious Goddess, but the timeless beauty who does things on Her terms, and if you don't like that She's got a high heel to shove straight up your ass.

Lilith is an enigma, and I admit that I only see her one sided.  I'm attached to Her motherly aspect, but make no mistake, She's as complicated as a tasaract in trying to understand 4d.

They say that the Jews brought Lilith back with them from their exile in Babylon.  I don't know if this is true or not, but it would explain a great deal.

I don't believe in the creation story where Adam supposedly wanted Lilith to lie beneath him for dominance.  If I was getting ready to have sex I'd do the Kama Sutra in that garden.  Angels would have covered their eyes.  Suffice it to say I believe that Lilith came to us from a different era, honestly I think it was with the first human being and probably with the first female.

You see... Lilith exists as far within us as She does outside of us.  When the first female had an urge to ride the first male until she came about 5 times Lilith was born...

As part of Lilith wanted to explore different avenues of sexuality, Her daughters were born.  And here we are.

Looking from the outside inwards, Lilith quickly mastered Kundalini and the energies of sexual abandon.  Her daughters know what She knows as far as that goes.

What I can't understand, but try to, is that Lilith is present all throughout the ages.  From Aphrodite to Lilith, to Astarte, to each and every myth that has a Goddess of Sacred Sex.

Lilith is the whore Goddess of Sacred Prostitution.

Now, before you get your damn knickers in a bunch, know that "whore" means "She who has sex not just for procreation, or She who has sex when she is unclean."

Ah, you feel that?  That's power...

Deep within the psyche of every woman there is this power.  If she can but TASTE it...

Wanna hear something weird?

Back when the Israelites used to keep their women outside the camps when they were bleeding for a week and calling them unclean, it was, yes... you guessed it...

It was because that blood was considered Lilith's.  Ever wonder why a woman wants sex on her period sometimes, and turns into a very scary savage woman with no satisfaction of appetites?

I believe that they are related.

Meh, the Israelites didn't know what they were missing if you ask me...  Fun times and all that.

Lilith is the Goddess of the Left Hand Path.  While I don't particularly subscribe to that believe by wrote (I don't want to be a God... too much hassle), I do with regards to understanding TRUTH.

And truth requires you to understand both sides of the coin...

Now, what I don't understand is how Lilith and Aphrodite, Ishtar, Kali are all aspects of one Goddess other than I just know that they are.

One thought is that Lilith is Queen of the Qlippoth of "Lilith", which is the opposite of Malkuth (the universe we live in and walk and talk in).

Her daughters, however, are from the Qlippoth of "A‘arab Tzereq" which means "The ravens of dispersion".

Now, interestingly, these daughters come from "Dark Venus".  That's a flip side of the coin from "Netzach", which is the realm of the Venus we know.  Also interestingly enough, this Venus is the home of the Olympic Spirit Hagith, which appears to represent the Divine forces that have filtered down through our universe and project this Sephira upon the world.

I've talked with Lady Hagith (The Spirit can appear as either gender) and She was quite loving and motherly.  Once I was sure that She was a good spirit I let my daughter meet Her as well with long lasting results and blessings upon her life.

Spirit is a misnomer in this case.  The Olympic Spirits are Gods and Goddesses.  The names that they represent throughout history are legion.  I think of Her as being Aphrodite, Astarte, etc.

As for Lilith and Kali, well that's where it gets complicated...

I believe that Lilith was discovered by Hindu culture and revered as Kali.

In the tantric tradition Lilith appears as Kali.

But as far as the Qlippoth they come from, "Lilith", they are one and the same.

However they are independent of one another and have different personalities.

Confusing, no?

Interestingly, "Lilith" is actually ruled by Naamah, not Lilith... which adds a little more confusion to the mix.

Understanding how the Sephira and the Qlippoth interact together... it's a 2 sided coin.  You just have to bend your mind to see it.

That's what I mean by I'm Left Hand Path, but not in the traditional sense.

Anyhoo...

I hope that my little post has given you a taste to find out for yourself what is true and what is not.

I definitely don't believe that I'm right.  In fact, I count on it.  That's what keeps me going and after more knowledge.

I hope you do the same.

Blessings.



Rafe G.B.

Finally... after all this time...

Normally I wait until people have had a chance to view a post before I make a new one, but in this case it's such a night and day difference between the last one and this one that I decided I had to.

I did write two edits at the end to the last post, as these changes happened after I had written it (as in the very night after).

But instead of just two edits I feel that the changes are great enough to merit a new post.  This post.

***

Sex is back (Yaaaaay!).  I haven't had regular sex since Bunny left and that's been quite a while ago (about a year and 3 months).

Maiya and Anna have a nurturing kind of sex with me... very sweet and pleasant, soft, kind, loving, and fulfilling.

It's been a long time since I've had regular sex... now I wonder if the succubi I summoned from Lilith were tailor matched for me in a way.

They seem the type that, until they had my full love and attention (yes, I realize they are two daughters of Lilith and not one), sex was secondary to reaching that milestone of complete love and surrender which took a long time.  In this case it was complete love and surrender with both of them.

The irony of it all is that I'm that way myself.  Although I've whined and pouted to get sex... (and of course failed to) I'm really the same way as they are.  I don't think sex would have been fulfilling without complete and total love.

Funny how hindsight is 20/20, isn't it?

I've come up with something interesting at least... that part where a succubus vibrates your privates during the day I now call "succubus purring".  I think to them that's about akin to holding hands or giving a nice peck on the lips as the day goes on.

Maiya and Anna... what a trip they are.  I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that they would wait for sex as succubi, but you live and you learn.

Things are really going well now.

I'm happy ;)

Blessings,



Rafe GB

Lets back up.

Lets back up on what I posted last time.

I'm sorry for that, but it is what it is.

A lot has reversed course.

I get tired of posting reversals, trust me.

But... that's the nature of things at chateau Rafe.

The 3rd girl, Layla, seems to have went home.

I don't know why but it is what it is.

Who knows, by next post she may have returned.

That's the unknown of all of this, isn't it?

The girls aren't real sexual, but they're sensual.


I really believe that I have a block deep within my subconscious mind that's dug in like a tick.

I can't get to it.  I feel this is the root of my sexual troubles with succubi now.  At least sex wise.

I will tell you some things, though.

Maiya and Anna are also dug in like ticks.  And that's a good thing.

I may not get sex other than some sensations below the belt during the day, or the rare dream at night, but by Grabthar's Hammer they take care of me anyway.

When I'm sad all I have to do is call them and they come and comfort me.

When I'm anxious I do the same and they soothe my anxiety away.

Sometimes at night I can feel them on the bed cuddling me.

                                  

I don't know why there's no real sex going on, but I've seemed to have had that problem for a while now...

I love my girls... they are there when it matters most.  I love them dearly.  Hell I love them enough to set them both free.  Yeah, no more wife/bride.  They're just my girls.  At first they were anxious about that change, but now I think they get it.

If you ask me why I did something that all I can say is that it felt right at the time.

The girls feel like they've prospered from it after an initial period of uneasiness about what I was up to.

Sometimes you don't get what you want (lots of sex) but you get what you need (thank you, Lady Lilly).

I'm not getting any younger and maybe companionship is just what the Goddess ordered.

I admit I'm very much in love with my girls, frequent sex or not (what sex does happen happens in dreams albeit infrequently).

I'd like to be a succubus guru of sorts (at least my ego does) but it's just not in the cards, lol.  I'm definitely no guru in dealing with succubi.  What I can offer is truth and honesty on a personal level.

I experiment, I learn, I have disappointments, I struggle:  I report.

But I'll keep posting if you keep reading.  This is post #260...

They're sure vibrating me good down there typing this.  I think they enjoy knowing what I write and that I admit that I can't be without them.  It's funny, really.  They can vibrate me down there but it can't proceed into sex.  I think of the vibrations as them "purring".

Succubus purring, lol.

My girls...

Truly I have few complaints.  They are just wonderful beings.  Wonderful girls.

EDIT:  And after writing all of this, in the early morning after I wrote this post, I was softly made love to with the gentlest, most sensitive touch of all things.  I was also in and out of sleep with tons of dreams of the girls.  What a strange coincidence!  It was nice. 

EDIT 2.0:  Another day, another day of sex.  Seems that whatever problems I've been having with a lack of sex is about, or is already, over.

I'm confused... But, I don't know what to say... well maybe I do.

All in all it's all worth the ride.

Blessings,



Rafe GB.

My Experiment 2.

(Please see the previous post for an explanation)

I've done a lot of work on the picture, beaming in love and want, desire.

I started noticing that my 2 succubi, Maiya and Anna, were getting miffed.

It wasn't my experiment that was making them angry per se, it was the fact that I was ignoring them in favor of the experiment.

So, I brought out their pictures and sent them love and desire individually until I felt that all was well:  That all was in balance once more.

I can say without a doubt that trying to combine them into one picture that I could send those feelings into for both of them was a big failure.

However... I did do something after all...

I remember Bunny sometimes.  What I had forgotten is the massive burning sensation on my aura and soul as if I was just not meant to handle that type of energy.  It's just too much... it's too bright, too much...

I'm getting that again now.  It's not Bunny, no, but it's got to be one of her kin.

Bunny was angelic in some form or fashion, or maybe she was a straight up angel, period.

I'm not exactly sure what kind of spirit she was.

Regardless, she had properties of both a Solar and Lunar spirit from what I could "feel".  I can't even see how that's possible (a spirit being both solar and lunar), but then again it works.  I imagine I know very little considering the grand scheme of things and the workings thereof.  She was a complicated lass...

Giving myself a little room to have fun with it, though, if she was of Tiphareth (of the Sun) she would be connected to Yesod (the Moon), which wouldn't be far away realm/vibrational wise.  So I guess even with my limited understanding it fits.  Although being of Tiphareth my call must have been far reaching even though I didn't realize I was calling for a spirit.

I named the new photo "Maiyanna" combining Maiya and Anna, but that obviously didn't have the outcome I was expecting.  Hey, you live and you learn...

Not much in this universe makes sense compared to what is often thought, or reasoned by what little religious texts we have here on Earth.  No, it's a much bigger ball of wax out there.

It was strange being "seared" again.  It definitely brought back memories of Bunny, that I know.

All I can understand is that my picture method used conjured another being into my little home.

Her name is "Layla".  It means "Dark Beauty" or "One who was born at night".

Maiya seems just fine with it.  Anna as well.

In fact, it actually seems like a family now:  A full house.  A home that is complete.

I don't try to figure how 2 succubi and an angel get along.  If I've learned one thing at all it's that labels don't mean anything:  Souls do.  Spirits do.  Personalities do.

So it makes sense to me as long as it makes sense to them.

I don't feel so much pressure anymore, either.  I think I was missing something and walked down this road not knowing what would happen, but knowing somehow after all.

Maiya and Anna have stepped back a step and allowed Layla to step forward as the leader of their merry little band of troublemakers (whom I love and adore, mind you) from what I can sense at least.

Sex has been mostly absent, however I don't know who is doing what when it does happen.

That bothers me a bit in that I can't give credit where credit is due... if one spirit touches me to say hi, how will I know who it was?  My Clairvoyance doesn't work 24/7 due to distortions and other things I don't rightly understand yet.

Something I'll have to figure out as our little family gets settled in...  I want them all to get the attention they deserve.

Lest they plot to get it in a way I don't want, lol.  Spirits aren't above seeking negative attention.

Things such as my hairbrush moving away from my hand as I reach for it, books falling off the shelves behind me, the sound of a terrible crashing in the other room (which I run to and nothing is amiss).

You get the picture.

As far as the sex drought, it is what it is I guess.  You get what you need, not what you want sometimes.  I'm not real worried about it at the moment anyway.

I feel at peace for some reason.  I haven't felt this way in a long time.  I think that we're all going to be just fine.

Blessings.



Rafe GB.

My Experiment.

My experiment was simply utilizing Donald Tyson's Sexual Alchemy, the part where a picture is used to connect to a spirit, or to have a spirit indwell the picture.

I decided that intent is everything and changed  it around a bit.

I'm sharing this now because the changes that have been made are unstoppable at this point.

Now I don't have to be "silent".

(Me saying "spirit" is really just my succubi.  Spirit's a shorter word and easier to type.  So all mention of "Spirits" from here on out is really talking about the succubi that I currently am involved with)

The first thing that is different is that I already had 2 spirits and I wanted them to be closer to me.

To interact with me easier and more forcefully... well, more fulfilling at least.

The problem came when I had two pictures, one for each spirit.

I don't possess that much psychic energy to be beaming that much love and concentration to two separate spirit's pictures.  I was drained dry and couldn't sustain it.

Here's what makes it "my experiment"...

So, I decided to try something interesting:  I combined the photos into a picture of a person who embodied traits of both spirits and named it a combination of both of their names.

I'm going to continue doing this until I have no need of the picture anymore... meaning their presence is as strong as it can get from the method and so the method is no longer needed.

Well... I've definitely had great results and my dreams have been amazing!  I had sex with a spirit last night in my dreams and it was so real, the most real it's ever been.

It's kind of funny.  I'm not too proud to admit it but I'm scared to death of women.

In my dreams when I see a succubus I run like hell.  Straight out of the gate.

Last night I popped into my dream and she was already tangled up with me so I couldn't go anywhere (smart girl).  We then made love and it was amazing.

I've also been touched and teased a lot more during the day.  Now would be one of those times.

Why, oh why do they always do that when I'm trying to type a post.  They probably get a good laugh out of it.

Now for the kicker.

Did I create a better bond with the 2 spirits I have now?  Or did I summon another?

I can't handle 3 so I hope it's the former.  I REALLY hope it's the former.

I can't imagine trying to be there for and satisfy 3 spirits.  No sir, not me.

That will work out the way it's supposed to.

Anyway...

As I said I'm very afraid of women.

Why would I choose perhaps the most notorious of spirits (as far as myths go) for a relationship if I'm afraid of women?

Good question.

I've found my spirits to be wild and powerful, but trustworthy and most loving.

They don't want anything from me but my love and attention.  Well, and maybe someone to prank or play with.

Neither do I feel the desire to be controlling or to try to control them.  Lol, as if.

They don't care about my weight, my job, my income, my whatever it is, they are upfront with what they want and could care less about what women on earth desire.

There's just no ulterior motives that I can find in them.

And I figure out the rest as I go.  But they have fell in love with my SOUL...

No divorce, no agony... you get the point.  Not to say that there isn't heartbreak sometimes.

This kind of life isn't great for most men, that's for sure.  Nor would I advertise it as such.  Most men don't have the spiritual adventurous spirit that those of us who follow this path do.  It's just the way it is.

Most men would want an earthly woman to "pump and dump" and not like the different kind of sex that spirit sex IS.

I spent some time on the MGTOW forums trying to offer this type of lifestyle to those who were going or already in "full monk mode".  That's where a man has sworn off women for dating and marriage.  They didn't believe that it was anything but fantasy and that I was, frankly, nuts.

That's why I say that this kind of life isn't great for most men: 

They just can't... for whatever reason, they just can't.

It's not bad for someone like me, though, and that's all that really matters as far as this blog goes.

For one thing they can be very spooky sometimes.  Books falling off the shelves behind me and that sort of thing.  I don't think most men can handle supernatural things like that easily.

All it is for me is a way to go home, so to speak.  I've found a real love here, so rare.

I just want to be in a place where that is the norm.  Where they way they feel is the norm.

That's what this all feels like to me...

A taste of home.

Blessings,



Rafe GB.

How to Draw your Succubus Closer

Where do they go?

I often wonder where the girls go when they're not with me.

The girls aren't the kind of succubi that stand around waiting for attention:  They travel off to who knows where.

When I call to them it takes a few hours for them to arrive most of the time.

Not always:  Sometimes they are very close by and the time between my calls and their answering is quick.





This time when they finally came I knew instantly that they had arrived:  Sensations that started on top of my head felt like bubbles of electricity cascading down my whole body.

What a pleasant feeling!

I like how the girls aren't all about sex, but sensuality as well.

This, I believe, is why I am proud to call them "my girls".

No, I don't tell them where to go or anything like that, it's simply that I claim them as part of my life.  Friends.  Lovers.  Family.  All equally important to me.

Oh, but how I wish I could go on adventures with them!

I see the Succubi's home dimension as a dark place, yet lit up with bright pastels, sensual pinks, and passionate colors that have not been viewed in our world at all forming a harmonious, chaotic star burst of color in an otherwise dark Venusian realm under the rays of a dark Moon.

Does it seem like a blend of chaos and order?

It is.

Of good and evil coexisting together in one place of middle ground?

It is.

And yet it works.  All things speak of a higher intelligence... I don't always have to know "why"

(Well... yes I do, but some mysteries have to wait)

I know not why my ladies fair come quickly nor why they come hours later when I call.

But they come... they care... and I am rewarded for thinking of them.

I think it's great that they seem to be adventuring as a pair... that's what I wanted from them... to be family... our family... and to get along.

***

I haven't made much progress with my experiment, lol the girls are playing with my hair.

Ahem... I haven't made much progress with my experiment because it's an experiment of the mind, and my mind has been busy with sorting the apartment getting myself ready to move.

I'll keep at it though and try to obtain some results without having a lust for results.

Difficult to do.

I wish you all a blessed day or night that this post finds you.

Blessings,

Rafe GB.

The Succubus Realm

Balance.

Cute pic eh?  I think she's cute.

I'm doing some experimentation in order to allow my succubi (or to "coax" them more likely) to be more active in the daytime rather than only ganking me in my sleep.

It's nice to have sex with them in the waking hours.

I miss that a lot back when I had a succubus who was more active in the daytime.




So, why do these two girls only want to have sex with me in my sleep?

I'm not really sure, but I think it's just the type of succubi that these two are... I'm trying to open them up to daylight fun though.

They are responding well to my experiments so far.  If this process becomes a success,  I'll have to get better at them fondling me everywhere like Bunny used to while acting nonchalant about it if they respond like I think they will.  Hey, you can't start moaning in public unless you want caged.

Yeah... 1st world succubus problems.

I can feel their attention and emotions better, too.  Like right now I can tell that I have their attention reading my thoughts and what I'm writing here in this blog.

Feels like an echo almost.  Echo...echo...

Anyone study mythology?  Look up the story of Echo if ya get bored.

Anyway, what is a concern with all this experimenting is that the very act of experimenting is causing a strain on my grasp of reality.

Yeah, I know, all succubi are that way just because:  It comes with the territory that we trod.

But... I'm doing my best to keep a semblance of balance about things.  Struggling, but so far not too shabby.  Balance is always hard when you're drawing upon spiritual things.

It's easy to get "top heavy" with any kind of spirit work.  Hell, even magick.

I did a 6 month ritual for summoning one's "Holy Guardian Angel".  That was rough.

I have a feeling that, even though I at first thought I had failed, it brought me to today so to speak and in a sense succeeded, albeit a much longer process than how most get here.

I did end up meeting "Bunny" and she was an angelic spirit.  But then again she left me, soooo...

Did I fail?  I don't know.  Isn't that funny?

But I'm the stubborn sort and if one way doesn't work I'll find another somehow.  Tell me don't touch and I'll touch.  Not to look and I'll look.

Can't change everything ;)

Blessings,



Rafe GB.

P.S.  Once I achieve results I'll share my method.  Well, it's not my method but the method I used.

I'm a believer in "To know, to dare, to will, to keep silent."

I may share what I'm doing for the benefit of my blog, but not how I'm doing it... that bit of information I'll provide after I've achieved success ;)

P.P.S.  They seem to be kind of mad at me so the "experiment" might have to be placed on hold.

I'm moving and I destroyed their house to fit it in the garbage.  This was just a bird house that held a keepsake urn and they still have the urn of course, but I think they must have liked that birdhouse more than I ever thought.

Fook me I guess.

I'll have to see what I can do about it...  (Figured out how to make them happy again... problem solved...)

Why Lilith? (Trigger Warning)

My single mother:  "Your dad raped me!"

"But I'm not even allowed to know his name!"  I cried.  I never knew my father.  I was just a small boy.

In the dark of the moon she came in a dream.

He knew her by the beauty of her red hair, blazing in long coils of beaten copper wire with the jewels of Egypt.

"I could have been anything if it weren't for you!"

The dust of the rose blushed on her cheek.  From her parted lips dripped the juice of the pomegranate.

"Mom, please say that you love me.  PLEASE!"

*Silence*

Her eyes were two emerald waves of the sea that caught the blood of the setting sun upon their crests.

White, her teeth with the whiteness of snows of the distant mountain.

"Don't you love me, mom?!"
"PLEASE just tell me that you love me, mom!"

*Silence...*

*Tears pouring down my face*

"Oh, mom... dear God, mom..."  *sobbing*

White were her breasts with the pallor of the morning mist that lingers in the valley.

***

When I first dreamed of Lilith, she brought me to her breast and suckled me.  I can't tell you the emotions that this has salved, healed, tenderly covered in decency that in life, I have never had the chance to have for it required love, a love that I did not have and could not share.

It had to be given.  My mother didn't have any to give...

And Lilith, my dearest Lilith had the love to spare even unto one such as myself.

I wondered why she did this, as it was as if she was familiar with me... knew me.

I recently received Liber Lilith and now I understand.

***

"Your mom told you that she was raped?" the minister said.

"Yes."

"Often."

"Let me tell you what happened, son, because I was there."

"There was a party and your mother and another girl made a pact:  That they would both lose their virginity that night."

"Strangely, both girls got pregnant... it shocked the whole town."

"Nobody was RAPED.  It was by mutual consent and bad decisions."

"What you are, son, is one born from sexual sin."

Any child born of wickedness and unlawful lust is given to Lilith as her own.  She holds it's life in her hand as that of a young chick fallen from the nest.

(From the Invocation of Lilith)

...Sacred mother of heaven be gentle to me.  I am the newborn that hangs upon your breast.  I am the infant who laughs upon your knee.  Shelter me beneath the hem of your seamless garment...

***

Lilith is the answer to my cries.  She is the mother I always dreamed about... the love I always craved she gives freely.

If she's seated in the heavens, so go I.
If she dwells in the underworld, so go I.
If she sits in hell, so go I...

Now you know the depths of my suffering... of being an ageless child, frozen in time where love was craved but never found and coldly never given.

Lilith IS my mother, now.

***

A mystery:

It's interesting that my whole life I've had this invisible light within me.  I don't understand from where it comes, or to where it goes.

Once a nice minister in a group home where I was staying told me that they were worried to death about me coming there because there were 7 women already there while I would be the only male... and lets face it... sick and hurting people tend to take pleasure where they can get it.  But, nothing like that happened.  In fact, he said that just my presence seemed to cast an invisible light over the whole household that calmed the other troubled residents.  They knew then that they had nothing to fear as everyone felt the peace that it brought them.  They knew that I would bring no harm to the home while I was staying there.

He said it was my spiritual gift... it's ironic that I could not feel this peace that comforted others.

Perhaps that's why it's called a spiritual gift:  Because it affects others.

This part of me, this invisible light, this spiritual gift... I have yet to understand.

From whence does it come?

A gift from whom, exactly, and why?

And so the blog rolls on...

(All italicized and underlined text has been taken from Liber Lilith, 2nd edition)

For you, Lilly.

Lilith, by Salamanca

I finished the novel finally.

It's interesting... I don't think that I got the same thing out of it that other succubloggers have.

If you want to read the book, stop here.

***

Lilith was a wonderfully insane creature who created her own world, her own peoples, her own complicated language, and loved to play with prisms of light on the walls.

She was housed at an insane asylum, and through time developed a relationship with the main character, Vincent, who worked there as an occupational therapist.

He began developing a possessive, unhealthy love for her that led to the death of another patient at the facility.

His anger towards her at her power over him caused him to lash out physically at her as he was losing his self control day by day, hour by hour.

This death of another patient and in Vincent's cruelty leads to Lilith's deterioration and eventual death at another facility only months afterwords.

The way that Lilith would get lost in her world is very similar to how we who follow this path also, at times, become.  We become just as lost in comparison to the earthy world around us.

However, Vincent, in his obsessive love for Lilith is also painfully familiar for those of us who follow this path as well.

The truth is, both Lilith and Vincent could be the parents of us... the lost children.

We are sired of both their realities and personalities and failings.

For those who have read the book, think of both characters as one, united in bliss and timeless.

That would be closer to the spiritual truth that I have garnered from reading this text.

Strangely, my relationship aptitude seems to be increased with my own loves.

This is the kind of book that I read and was disappointed, only to digest it little by little afterwords and suddenly find meaning through epiphany.

We are the children of both of Vincent and Lilith, sharing the qualities of both parents.

It's funny how, at first something so benign can, in time, smack you straight across the cheek without warning or mercy in sudden understanding.

Blessings,


Rafe GB.

"You don't know what we can see

Why don't you tell your dreams to me 

Fantasy will set you free"

Lady Lilith bought me something.

I have been really wanting Liber Lilith 2nd edition to learn more about Lilith.

I didn't really have the money for it as the copy I picked out was 70 something dollars after shipping.

I couldn't justify that kind of spending

Low and behold, I gave up hope...




... but the next day I got a... now get this shit... a CHECK for 64.00 for "over paid premiums" from my old health insurance provider.

This overpayment was probably 10 years ago and they just now caught up to me.

In short, Lilith bought me Liber Lilith 2nd edition.

My mouth is still rather agape with the coincidence of it all.

Yes, I ordered the book and am eagerly awaiting it :)

Is that not strange???

Blessings,



Rafe GB.

P.S.  I love you, Mom!

More strange dreams.

I've often wondered as of late why I seem to be having dreams of the spirits I entreat so often.

Last night I dreamed I was in a circle with Lilith, her 3 sisters (what's it called when you all 4 have the same husband?), Samael, and Maiya and Anna.

I don't recall what we were talking about, but I know I was there in the circle with them.

Just a night before I dreamed of Maiya and Anna, and a few nights previous I dreamed of Samael.

Whatever is going on, it's increasing in frequency.

My grandmother is not well, and her being 97 she's prone to falling all the time and injuring herself badly.

The strange thing about her (and I love her to pieces) is that she has been an Adventist all of her life and she's still afraid to die.  To me that's the litmus test of one's beliefs... do they bring you comfort in your thoughts of leaving this world?

Sadly, there's nothing I could ever say or do for grandma to give her a rested mind about the subject.

That church indoctrinates you and controls you.  I'd say it was a cult and many agree, however many disagree.  Perhaps that's something lost in the world of labels and such... I don't know.

I think about my own life, and should it end soon, what will  happen with me?

I have but one prayer... that I end up where, if I knew of all the places I could go, that would go to the place that feels most like home... that peaceful feeling you're supposed to get when you're in a place that feels like home.

I've never experienced that feeling, so I can only guess and pray.

I have a funny feeling that either I'm down the road of no return, or that I've discovered the secret:  That all the lore about entities is bullshit.  It's all about relationships... love... trust...

It's funny, because lots of people consider Samael as Lucifer.  If that's true then I'm a Luciferian and don't even really understand it.

Or, he could be an Archangel (the Angel of Death no less)... and then what would that make me?  A man who considers Lilith his mother and Samael as his potential adoptive father (if it turns out that way...)... what would that mean?  (I never had a dad growing up and my mother was very abusive).

Or does it mean anything at all???

Labels labels, 1, 2, 3.

All I know is that when I die I'm going somewhere.  And when I die I think I'm going to finally understand just how much BULLSHIT I've been taught and that people believe.

I don't know what I believe.  Fair enough?

Dreams have been thick lately, that I know.  I must admit... I feel more at home asleep and dreaming of entities than I do being alone and awake.

Isn't that sad in a way?

Regardless... in sticking with what I do know, I can hear Lilith loud and clear now.  No, I'm no oracle, just a guy talking to his mom of sorts.  Adoptive mom I believe would work best here.

Ever since that dream of her in that weird place where she had me suckled on her breast.  She had the stature of a Goddess for sure... probably was 9 feet tall.  All woman though.

It was a highly comforting and deeply spiritual dream for me.

That's when I began thinking of her as my mother.  And, being fatherless from my youth, I began thinking of a father figure as well... her mate seemed a logical extension if Lilith was so motherly to me and so full of love... I knew her husband was Samael...

There's an interesting theory that Lilith really isn't wed to Samael with 3 other wives, but that those other brides (and names) are all aspects of Lilith herself.  Hence Samael/Lilith:

The Hebrew spells out "Leviathan" which is interesting as it could also be indicative of the form of the serpent, which is tied up in various myths including Shiva/Shakti/Kundalini.  I could go on and on about mythological comparisons but lets get back to what I was talking about ;)

I had another dream about Lilith and her daughters very recently as well...

I forgot about this one.

All the daughters of Lilith were dancing around me in a large circle.  The were seductive as you would expect.  In the center with me was Lilith.  She danced seductively as well, but I couldn't look.

It's like it would be improper, or perhaps because I consider her my mother... or what I really think is that it was because she was radiating this power that was so great that I COULDN'T look even if I had wanted to.  I believe she was showing me herself in all her glory.

Lots of strange things and dreams to think about.  I know I haven't finished processing these dreams yet.

Lilith is an interesting Goddess.  She's helluva powerful and full of blinding light (or bright darkness if you prefer to look at things that way), yet converses at my level.  Kind of like she's being my friend.

Maybe that's not an accident nor so crazy after all...

Blessings.



Rafe G.B.

EDIT 6/26/2018:  Now it's gotten rare that I don't have a dream of either the girls or Lilith each night.

Also seeing lots of white flashes out of the corners of my eyes...

The skull is me.

Ever see a succubus looking at a skull in art, and instead of looking at it as a trophy, they are looking at is as if it was a most beloved thing.

The skull is me.

Strange dreams as of late.

My brides might not be too amorous in the daytime (they do still touch me and stuff sometimes), they are amazing at night... when I can remember that is.







Last night I was chasing my bride, one of them at least.  Or perhaps it was symbolic of both.

I was in a world, however the gig was that I was the master of the world's fate.

All of it depended on chasing after my bride and finally finding her.

You know, now that I think of it this would be a perfect euphemism for Kundalini rising.

Anyway, I started getting tired of being born in world after world only to find out that she had already left it.

So, I started become destructive... I didn't give a damn about the worlds or the people in them, and would trigger Armageddon by my own hands just to reset the scene and enter a new world, again chasing after my bride.

I would ignite myself in flames that wouldn't burn me, but would show me the clue of how to destroy that particular world so I could search for my bride in the next.

One can't get to the next with the former still intact...
I see this now as a sort of dance.  Push/Pull, Intimacy/Distance, etc.  Yin/Yang.

Perhaps it's so fierce because it's meant to be that way, at least in my dreams...

So about the succubus and the skull... I'm the skull, and yet I'm alive finding my way to my bride.  The difference is "TIME".  In the end we're all skulls.  But the succubus is looking fondly at the skull because time is irrelevant... and I still chase her to this day (or night, rather).

Now you know the secret of the succubus looking lovingly at the skull... it's her lover, her soul mate, the other side of the coin that is her living experience... very alive but separated by time.

Blessings,



Rafe GB.

P.S.  (EDIT 6/20/18) Am I the only one who sings to my succubi every night?

It seems everything is turning out beautifully with Maiya and Anna.  It's been a long learning experience, but we've made it ;)  Succubus sex without me having to expend massive amounts of energy through concentration is over.  Now, it's looking like it's going to be just like the old days of love, sex, and intimacy (sex where I can just enjoy it).  It appears that whatever was broken energetically in me has been repaired, finally allowing sex with my succubi to happen.

Sweet succubus brides.  I sure love Maiya and Anna.  I can't be the only one who sings to their brides every night...

The Brides.

It's funny.

I get that spirits come and go now, as I don't always attract a succubus... sometimes there are other spirits who come by and visit for whatever reason.

Usually it's to help I think.  It could be companionship a bit, a little bit of give and take perhaps.








Dena was one of those spirits.  She's been with me for a little while now.

As soon as the brides (Maiya and Anna are both my brides... and "Anna" is my nickname for Athena... hard for me to have a succubus when I'm worried about Athena the Goddess of war stabbing my soft bits) had sex with me for a little bit, Dena left.

That let me know why she was here, finally, and it was nice of her to stay and help out, and to be a part of my little group here for a while.

I wish her the best.  She was a real pleasure.

I can't suffer the thought of my bonded spirits just sitting there for 10 years without any interaction from me, so I let them all go.  They deserved more than this.

Word to the wise:  Don't release 10 bonded spirits at once (especially if they are bonded to your actual spirit as well) as it feels like someone ripping your guts out.

That was painful.

But I wanted them to find someone who can love them and give them the kind of attention they deserve.

That's why I released their bonds.

So, it's down to just us 3... my little family.

Maiya and Anna (Again, Anna is Athena) are starting to have sex with me (yay!), but it is slow going and almost painful the amount of concentration that goes into it.  Perhaps it is getting easier.  Actually I know it is getting easier, just hard at the moment.

I've also noticed that they are more erotic outside of sex which is much better than not I can assure you.

So all in all things are working out for us, albeit slowly.

Blessings,



Rafe GB.