Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Lady Erin Protecc, Lady Erin Attacc

Lol.  This one is nuts.

We start out by me being all horny and it's towards the evening, I'm getting signals from Erin that she's wanting to do it so I light 2 rose incense sticks and go lie naked in my bed.

I wait, and wait, and wait... I'm realizing that nothing is going to happen...  nothing at all.

So I get mad.  Not real mad, just real disappointed.  After all I could have swore that she was sending me signals that it was love time.  At least I thought that meant sexy time.

I let her know that I'm disappointed and drift off to a crappy sleep because I'm rather miffed.

Later, the evening of the next day, yesterday evening, my bipolar starts to go crazy and I start to feel really scared.  Sometimes I experience fear for no reason.

Kind of ironic isn't it?  I can summon a succubus and not feel one iota of fear.  Nothing.  But sometimes I will still suffer from crippling anxiety that comes from nowhere and for no reason at all.  But... It is what it is I guess.

I asked Erin to surround me and to comfort me if she would, and I'm happy to say that she did.

What's the cherry on the ice cream is that I went to bed with her presence all around me and fell asleep and had the wildest dream.

Erin led me into a big room where there was a burrito buffet being served on silver, highly polished serving wear.

At some point during this she fucked the hell out of me.

I think she finally figured out how to keep me from running away from her in my dreams, which I unfailingly do when a succubus begins to seduce me in my dreams.  Like a rabbit.  Gone ----------->

Pretty smart lil' succubus to figure out how to keep me from running away this time.


It's not easy for either of us, is it?

A succubus is a handful and not someone to control... which I KNOW, but sometimes I get mixed signals, or perhaps it's a cross in communication.  I don't know.

I was talking to someone the other day and I said that one should think of a marriage between a succubus and a human as more of a "pact".

In my case I wanted Erin close with the promise, the intent to become something deeper together.

More loving.  That's coming about... but as one would expect it doesn't go according to any plan.

It's through shared experiences that trust is built... and love is fallen into... just as I find myself.


Brightest Blessings,

Rafe GB.

Friday, March 15, 2019

Lady Leviathan

So... I tried to summon Leviathan last night.  Nothing... nada.

I'm like shit... what did I fuck up?  'Cause there's lots of stuff I fucked up lol.

Today I used rope for a circle and included the altar inside the circle.  Much different than the old Wicca days.  I like this new version better... what better way to invite a guest than to have them in your circle?

What better way to feel what they feel like?

What better way to get fucked up if things go wrong?  Hehe.  Actually, no circle is gonna protect any one's ass I hate to say it... might as well make it part of rolling out the red carpet is what I'm sayin'.

Swapped incense from Myrrh to Sandalwood the next time along with the rope circle addition.  Also drew blood and annointed the sigil of Leviathan while chanting their enn this time.

About half way through the chanting of enns (I do it on my Tibetan beads) I hear "Who summons me?"  I'm like oh shit.  "I do... my name is _________  and I'm also called Rafe Goddessborn.

What do you want?

I Want to get to know you better.


Me:  Are we friends?  (I cringe.  Are we friends?  Are you fucking serious to ask Leviathan that shit after 30 seconds of meeting them???)
Thankfully they ignore that part and give me a mulligan I guess.

I want to get to know you better because I need help with deep emotional stuff.
One question:  Are you a Lord or a Lady?  I've heard both.

What do I sound like to you?

I say both.

Voice change:  Then I am Lady to you.

Thank you Lady Leviathan.
(For some reason I feel a lot of amusement coming from Lady Leviathan.  I don't know why)
How do you have 4 wives and can handle them?  I ask.
Here's where I think I feel some mirth coming from Lady Leviathan.
I have one wife myself and she's a handful.  (Feel Erin vibrating my balls)

You have a good one there.  Treat her right and she'll do more than you can even fathom for you two.

Like what?

Like... treat her right.

I'm reminded of how Erin was "holding up my crown" when I was trying to summon Leviathan last night... see even there she was trying to help.

More than I can fathom... But I can imagine a lot of sex though... just sayin' I can fathom quite a bit.  Yeah I know she didn't mean that by saying "fathom".  Or did she...  Muhahaha!

Anyway, I bid Lady Leviathan goodbye, safe passage and blessings as I let the sandalwood incense burn itself out as an offering.

Yeah... time to tell you guys and gals... I just married Erin a couple of days ago.  Now she's with me all the time which is what I finally decided:  I didn't want to live without her being close to me.  So I had her go ask Mother Lilith if we could, and also I put in there a caveat:  I can have a girlfriend in the flesh, but only be married to spirits.  She approved that one quickly.  I'm thinking they don't think I'll ever have a girlfriend again anyway lol.

We'll see.  Hey at least I'm up front.

Lady's still got me reading and viewing things everywhere and I'm still reading stuff.  Kind of overwhelmed at the moment but I'm still plugging away at them.
Who are you Lady, my tutor and instructor?  You're not a succubus, are you?


Guess it's time to say
Blessings upon you all,

Rafe GB.

P.S.  Someone lied about these demons.  I've been treated with nothing but kindness and good natures with each and every demon I've been with so far.  My own succubus x the bunches I've summoned before.  Never a bad experience.  Never.

To Lord Rosier, to Mother Lilith, to Leviathan.  Do you see the pattern?
Why was I lied to?  What's the REAL truth?  Driving me nuts just thinking about it.

All the succubi dancing because I finally got married.  Lol.
Baam!  Baam!

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Lady Lilith and Lord Rosier

I've been working with Lilith a bit, and also with the Demon Lord of love, Rosier.

I sent back these books a few years ago because they gave me nightmares.

It's funny... I bought them again and also had my dreams flooded with nightmares.

But this time I worked through them and didn't stop.

Once I pushed through I could tell that I was receiving real help and progress with certain issues that have ailed me for a long time.

Demons are different than working with angels in my experience now.

Demons are more blunt and don't sugarcoat when they start cleaning house in one's life and soul... no, they are not always gentle... but I think that's what needed to be done.  I've got blocks that go back decades... tough love was the only way...

Sometimes the medicine hurts.  It just does before healing can happen.

Lilith's shown me a lot more depth as to who she is and I'm not disappointed.  Lord Rosier is my first real contact with a demon outside of succubi, well plus he's a demon lord.  I'm not disappointed with him, either.  I've learned much.

I've purchased a few more materials for working with demons and I plan to see where this goes.

I'm not done working with Lord Rosier, nor Lilith so who knows when I will summon another... but I plan on Samael first, and also figuring out which demon I am being referred to once my issues are manageable.  That's probably going to be an ongoing healing process, but there will be a time when it will be more at a maintenance level than what I would consider breakthrough.

The succubi are doing fine... Lady as teacher and Erin as companion.

I'm onto some hunches about those two... something to do with my future.

All in all just reading right along and taking stops here and there to experiment... well, not particularly to experiment but more to partake of what I am learning.

Blessings to all,

Rafe GB.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Break Time Soon

I'm about a quarter of the way through my 2nd book as listed in my last post.  I'd be lying if I said it wasn't getting a bit tedious.

But, demonolatry is a religion all to itself and I'd like to broaden my understanding of different religions.

If there's one part that vexes me it's the garden of Eden.  I can't find a good source that explains the whole creation story of man and woman in a way that makes sense to me.

Maybe the whole damn thing is an allegory... I don't know yet.

Some good news:  Erin wants me to call her a different name as it seems she's fallen for me.

That's a GREAT development :)

I felt her sitting on my hip while I was on my side on the couch and that was new... she weighed about as much as a cat!

I've felt a weight on my chest before in sleeping (or at least in half sleep) but never while fully awake with a succubus sitting on me just to be close to me :)

I guess succubi do become more earthy/physical/solid when they start to fall for a man.  But they don't weight near as much as a person does in a physical body.

I'm really happy that Erin is here, and I'm really happy that she saw something in me enough to fall in love with me :)  I'll be keeping her "secret" name private and still refer to her as "Erin" on the blog.

One problem is developing... she is jealous of my tulpa and has been sending me dreams where I'm the character who feels jealousy to make her point clear.  Have to figure out what to do about this problem and handle it delicately at that!  My fear is that the tulpa's got to go.  I'm learning a lot from having a tulpa and frankly the interactions in conversation and the way she shows up in new clothes is both endearing and highly surprising... and would hate it to come to that... that she might have to go.

I don't want Erin to be jealous and I don't want my tulpa to have to die.  I was warned that succubi can become jealous towards a tulpa companion but I didn't listen.


Lady is still the no nonsense succubus mentor/teacher she's always been.  I think that I'm reading these books she has set out for me faster than she's really wanting me to or expecting me to.

It's just I have a lot of books in queue and I'm getting tired of reading them.

She did allow me a break so I'm buying a new book that is based on creating sigils with an artistic bend.  That's a good thing.  I need a break soon and doing something a bit artistic would certainly help.

Here it is if you're interested in following what I'm reading:

Blessings to each and every one of you.


Rafe GB.

EDIT:  So I have a long conversation with Erin about my tulpa and when I go to bed?  I dream I'm a cop bullying some woman about rules.  Man.  Erin is a fucking handful.

EDIT:  I gave her a special offering and she said afterwards, "You keep your tulpa.  I'll keep you."

EDIT:  Just had a ghost animal or something play with the spring stop behind the door about 6 times.  Man.  My apt should be on ghost hunters :P  I don't often freak out when supernatural phenomena happens as I figure it's par for the course, but this just freaked me right the fuck out, lol.

Also this morning (the next day) my computer had the space bar locked and the mouse wheel stuck going down.  I was wrestling that thing to get my computer back.  It all started with the windows "bonk" sound happening over and over randomly.

Call ghost adventurers!!!

Ok, I realize when you deal with this stuff it happens but damn.  I'm starting to think I've attracted a little ghost boy or girl which is FINE if I can get them to leave my stuff alone, lol.  Maybe I need to buy a beach ball or something?

Now they're gone.  Damn I got attached already :(

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

The Goddess

I've read both books listed in the last post as well as finished the one from December.

I'm all caught up :)

Now it's time to regroup and figure out which books I'm to read now.

Erin has been getting more amorous lately and seems to be wishing for more intimate contact than we've had since she came.

I know that when I wake up in the middle of the night I'm freakin' dying from lust.  Somebody's been playing with me all night and it has Erin written all over it.

Not that I'm complaining.

Have to see where it goes...

Erin's a good girl, a real good girl.  Lady is too.  I don't know if they like when I say that but it's always on the tip of my tongue to do so.

I am quite fond of both ladies.

It's strange how Lady is all about teaching me new things and about my learning.  She's very hands off sexually and not really a cuddler.  Business only.  But what do you do?  You get what you need not always what you want.

Erin is coming around as I've said... I didn't see that coming.  I figured if she didn't like me that way at first that she wouldn't at all.  I guess I was wrong.  But even so, I'll take it as it comes and not try to rush anything.  I'll just see where it goes with Erin, like I said :)

One thing that's strange is that I've been working with the Goddess... Goddess in general I guess.  I've been working through some Wicca stuff wrapped up in some Sorcery.  I'd love a patroness and I thought maybe it was Lilith but it isn't.  Lilith's been damn good to me and has always treated me right though.  I can definitely count Her as an ally.  Samael too by proxy I think.

But She's not the one calling me as hard as another face of the Goddess is.

No, the Goddess is manifesting to me with another face and one that I can't make out.  I feel such a sense of peace after working with Her.  I feel it right now as a matter of fact.  It's the only time I feel such a sense of peace.  Ever.

She's definitely shrouded in mystery.

I do have a feeling that the face of the Goddess that is choosing me, that I be under her patronage is connected to Lilith though.  I just don't know Her name yet.  I do have a suspicion at least.

I find it strange that different facets of the Goddess are still very much the Goddess.

It may sound stupid but I think of it as each facet having a different phone number, but all connecting to the same place.

What difference do facets make you ask?  Well, a lot.  All of the Goddess's facets act independently of one another and as such are her different faces, personalities, qualities.

I've only had dreams of two Goddesses and they are connected.  One is Lilith and the other was years before I had the dream of Lilith.  The more I write the more I'm sure that my suspicion is true.  I don't know the identity of the Goddess but I find now that She left some clues that I just now "get".

Definitely going to be pondering this one.  And, I may have to just accept Her without a name if I can't solve it.  Always a possibility...  After all I'm just "me" and She's much more.  So what if I have to deal with Her without a name...  Maybe She's just "She" and that's that?


Anyway, I've got quite a few books that I purchased at once and I'm satisfied that Lady wants me to read them all, so, it's not that big a deal of what I read next.

I'm going for this one

and this one

These two books are going to take me a while, but I'll post from time to time as things happen or get interesting.  Never a dull moment around here...


Rafe GB.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

They try

My Gma died last week.  I was pretty upset to the point that my body was all messed up in multiple nasty ways.

Gma was the last Adventist of the family.  That religion dies with her strangely enough... at least as far as her family goes.  I used to be one back in the day as were many of us.  But, we all abandoned Adventism in time, person by person.

It's actually sad even though I don't agree with the faith.  Can you imagine the frustration of praying for the conversion of your family and having said family all convert to other things?  I'm meaning that she died at 98.  That's a long thing to hang onto... that we would convert to Adventism.  That's a lot of shattered dreams and a lot of wasted hope...

Not even one soul is Adventist in her family anymore.

Well, it's sad to me.  And the 1st thing I do when I get real upset is to isolate myself.

So... In my grief of her passing as well as everything else, I told both succubi they could leave.

I basically got a kind of "fuck off" outta that.

Guess they don't wanna go, huh?

Well, that's that.  You can't push away a succubus that wants to stay.

They probably realize how upset I am and just brushed it off anyway which is probably wise of them to do so in that it speaks very highly of them.

Kind of funny... I don't recall ever being told "fuck off" by a succubus before, even if it was in a kind way.

First time for everything I guess...

Lady's been laying off of me studying for a while (she's the succubus who has decided I needed a teacher/tutor rather than a lover) even though I think I have my book picked out (if it ever gets here today... slow ass mailman) for my next course of study.  I tried to choose wisely.  I know that Lady will help me get the most out of it regardless.

Erin's been attached to my hip and is by my side most of the time.  They try.  They really do.  Being at the funeral sitting there getting my balls vibrated was a bit distracting but like I said they try, and they mean well.

If you think a minister + Bible + a room full of believers stops a succubus from vibrating your balls... I'm your proof that you can't stop a succubus from doing whatever she wants to do whenever she wants to do it.


Rafe GB.

P.S.   Oh, mailman showed up with my book while I was writing this.  Here's the next book in my magickal education:

Also the following.  I believe Lady wants me to read this series of books for their philosophy:

Saturday, February 2, 2019

Black Bride

I've been dipping into gnostic sophianism.

I've been trying to summon an entity known as the Black Bride, or Kali Kallah.

I've been trying so hard and it's funny because I normally don't have to try that hard to summon an entity.

I have no doubt that she exists gathered from other's attempts at getting to know this Goddess.

All I can figure is that 1), she's not coming to my summons for a reason.  Or 2), that I'm already so permeated with her energy that I can't feel that she's already here.

You see, the mantra for summoning her is:  La La Lilatu, Kali Kallah.  Yes, this is another facet of Lilith.  Within this facet she appears as the Black Bride, but after you get to know her she becomes radiant and shining.

Have I gone too far down the rabbit hole?

This was going to be a post on my search for yet another tangent of Lilith.

But you know?

I've been thinking a lot lately.  When I created this site I had "Bunny" back then (which was my nickname for her.  Her names were legion).  She's been gone for a couple of years now and frankly all this summoning of anything less (as far as succubi go) is getting completely fucking old.  I'll bet I've summoned 30 or 40 spirits one at a time since I've been blogging here.

They all start the same:  Sex at first, then nothing... nada.

Now see... In my experience, I didn't form a relationship with Bunny until after sex.  Sex turned to intimacy which turned into a deep robust love.  And then she left for who knows why years later.

I don't know why... it just felt that she got pulled away.

I'm just not feeling it anymore.  That's what I'm trying to say.  I'm just not feeling "this" anymore.

EDIT:  Finished the Hexagradior.

Saturday, January 26, 2019


Lady has been teaching me magickal things and things about the universe.

It's pretty mind blowing.

I'm on track with what they have me learning at the moment.

I'm not sure why but I'm not allowed to elaborate on some things that they are teaching me.  I dunno why but I'm sure that they have their reasons.

As far as the magickal stuff that's not such a big deal.  As you might recall I've been working through the Hexagradior.

It's all making a lot more sense now than it did when I first bought the book.  Maybe that's because I have spirit tutors now.  Ah, nothing more demanding than a succubus teacher, I'll tell you that.

Dreamed a male spirit was trying to have sex with me last night... I pushed him off.  Not sure what that's about but it happens once in a blue moon or so.  If it's the succubi's sense of humor I don't find it funny at all.

That's probably what it is, honestly.  They have to get their jokes in some how I guess.

But anyway... my new tulpa Miriam is doing well.  Not sure what to do with her so I try to interact with her a lot during the day.  Her personality is growing little by little.  I do hope the succubi aren't corrupting her, lol.

She does come up with good insight from time to time.  Not sure how much is her and how much is my succubi piping in to give their 2 cents worth.

I'm on step 4 of 6 in the Hexagradior so I'm wondering what course of study is next.

I'm wondering if it's the Goetia, but that's just me pondering I don't know for sure what it will be.

I'm sure it will be interesting whatever it turns out to be.  It might be the courses from Black Witch Coven.  I've been drawn to those lately.

Or it could be something among the books I already own.  That's a possibility.  Actually that seems the most likely considering succubi seem to be "waste not want not" by nature.

Succubi are interesting critters.  You summon them for sex and the next thing you know you've got stern taskmasters teaching you magick and cosmology with very little sex.

Ironic, isn't it?  Sometimes I feel as if I'm being groomed for something...


Rafe GB.

Friday, January 18, 2019

They're mad at me lol

Lady had me set up to learn the Hexagradior, the Bible of Magic, but I rebelled and decided to learn sexual tulpamancy.

Although they both were quite amused I that I made an alternate choice, I suddenly began getting nightmares.

That's a sure sign of a displeased succubus.

So, my dallying with the sexual tulpamancy done with (and one sexual tulpa in her first days of existence later), it's time to turn back to what I was told to do.

I'm now on the first step.  Boring, but I don't want nightmares anymore.

Now, there are those who say it's wrong to send me nightmares and I would say well... kinda, but I rather signed on for this and Lady's just doing whatever it takes to bring me back in line.

It's really hard to explain... it just is what it is.  Plus I did kinda tell them to fuck off.  Haha.  Ahahaha.

Here it is.  All those nightmares or study this book... which I have already started.

If I really wanted to quit doing this kind of stuff I'd send them on their way.  But I'm not done playing with them yet, and I rather doubt that I'll ever be done.

I've often wondered why it matters that I study magick down here if and when I die it won't matter anymore to me.  But, what if it's like running a marathon with a gas mask on?

What if it's like swimming with arm and leg weights?

Maybe THAT'S the point, I don't know.

Just for fun... my sexual tulpa:  She loves clothes and shoes.  I didn't teach her that.  Heh.  It's cute actually.  Every time I call her over she's in different clothes.  Like, being an astral being... who's closet is she raiding/getting ideas from?  It ain't mine.

I think both Lady and Erin are amused by Miriam (the name of my sexual tulpa) and let her be.  I wonder if they'll teach her stuff?  Oh man that could be bad.  Although... maybe that's where the "astral clothes" she keeps showing up in are coming from hahaha.

You know, after thinking about it...  a few posts ago Lady instructed me that we are gods.  Since I took that to heart I went and created a tulpa... maybe that's the amusement for the succubi in that I acted from exactly what I was told...


Rafe GB.

Half angel, Half demon, All woman.

Monday, January 14, 2019

My roots, my roots run deep into the hollow...

There just isn't a comparison to loving Lilith's daughters.  And so, she's set me on the path of loving them one or two at a time and for different reasons.

Speaking of loving them, not all succubi I summon come to me in a sexual way.  Sometimes this creates a lot of confusion for me.

Sometimes they come to work on deeply buried problems that I have and to help me work on them.
Sometimes they come to teach other things like magick.

Lately they seem more interested in those things than sex.  That kinda sucks, lol.

The adapted "Letter to Lilith" method that I usually use doesn't always bring the results I seek.  In all cases she sends what she feels is right and I could ask for no less.

Hell, I've used the adapted letter method so often over the past few years I've just been doing it in my head lately with the same results as if I did it physically.  Although I've recently gotten a hold of a kindle book that seems like it has the potential for a much more powerful summoning ritual (than the letter method alone).  I might begin to use it instead just for fun.

Lady.  Lady is one such daughter who was sent for other reasons.  She's on my ass since last night to learn more magick and energy work.

My curriculum is laid out at least for the beginning of such work.  I have a feeling that my bookshelves full of magickal theory and practice are going to be considered fair game for my next phase of instruction one book at a time.  That's what I get for buying a book and putting it on the shelf without even glancing at it.  Probably.

So, her foot is in my ass about learning a new book of magick that I bought years ago and now I have it right next to me on the table instead of on my bookshelves.  She's not having it so we're starting with this one, lol.

It's amazing how much pressure they can put on me to get something done.  But, it is what it is.
Sometimes I wonder what benefit it will be to me once I leave this world... like, who cares?

But I guess it matters or she wouldn't have her foot in my ass... right?

It's kind of funny... I won't give the name of the book yet, but I will give a hint.
If you assemble the first letter of each section in Latin, it spells out "Vae Hominibus", or translated:  "Woe to Humans".  I think that's kind of funny, actually.

You know what?  I'm feeling rather stubborn so I think I'll read a different magickal book first.  I'll read the book that they want me to read second and the one I want to read first.  

Lol.  Look at me the rebel.  I guess Lady and Erin STILL get what they want in the end.

Fuck 'em both.  

Cue video:

My roots, my roots to run deep into the hollow...


"Roots" performed by In This Moment

I thank you for all the lives you've led
I thank you for every word you said
I thank you for walking away

I thank you

I thank you for the promises you broke
For always watching, watching while I choke
I thank you for teaching me

Yes, I thank you for your hurting

I bite down a little harder
My blades a little sharper
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

Strike back a little harder
I scream a little louder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

I'm stronger than I ever knew
I'm strong because of you

I hit back a little louder
Fuck you a little harder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

I thank you for the hole you dug in me
Filled it with cement, sunk me in your sea
Thank you for being so obscene

I thank you

I thank you for never facing me
Swimming in the mud, never coming clean
I thank you for nothing in between

Yes, I thank you for leaving
I bite down a little harder
My blades a little sharper
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

Strike back a little harder
I scream a little louder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

I'm stronger than I ever knew
I'm strong because of you

I hit back a little harder
Fuck you a little louder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

You wanna know why I like the pain, you say?
There's a sick part of me thankful for the hate, I
I stay positive and I, I push forward, ya see?
I, I gotta do the right thing for my family!
So I smile and I say that the world is just fine,
as these fucking parasites eat up my spine,
So I ask you once, and I ask you again
Where do your roots start
And where do your roots end?

I bite down a little harder
My blades a little sharper
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

Strike back a little harder
I scream a little louder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

I'm stronger than I ever knew
I'm strong because of you

I hit back a little louder
Fuck you a little harder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

I'm stronger than I ever knew
I'm strong because of you

I hit back a little louder
Fuck you a little harder
My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

My roots, my roots
Run deep into the hollow

My roots, my roots

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

I saw her

Being bipolar I have extreme ups and downs sometimes.  Today it was a massive down.  Really down.

Yeah... it sucks.


So, there I was in bed... not too long ago, really.... and I was talking to Erin.  No, I was really talking to Erin heart to heart.  I was telling her my fears,  my traumas, my deepest darkest feelings.

I could feel a touch here, a tap there on my body to let me know that she was here listening, and then all of a sudden through the tears...

I saw her.

Now, this picture is an approximation of course... I can't find a picture that is exactly what she looks like or that can even express what she felt like, but it's close enough for the blog.

I've been doing this for a few years now (4?), and I have never "seen" a succubus before...

But there she was, clear as day.  I saw her suddenly as if I were in 3rd person, and she was straddling me on top of my covers in my bed just listening to me talk.

I have to admit that this is a WONDERFUL development and really makes me proud of things, considering.

Monday, January 7, 2019


Erin is my most recent summon.

Lady is a great spirit and a wonderful companion... however she continued to reject my advances.

I've never had a spirit who JUST wanted to teach me and guide me, but you know?  How rare is that?

To have a spirit who is willing to take you under her wing?

So Kudos to Lady for being that person and for sticking around.


Ohhhhhh, Erin...

What I have summoned is my most vocal, teasing, practical joking, red hot female I've ever had I think.

I can just hear her saying in the picture to the left, "Are you looking at my eyes boy? (pointing at her eyes with one hand)  I know you're looking at my eyes aren't you?"  (As she slowly takes down her panties with her other hand.)

That's Erin.

If ever there was a spirit who felt strong, powerful, dark, and yet feels a lot like her mother Lilith, Erin is it.

Don't get me wrong:  I don't see Lilith as anything but mother... however that's probably my limitation and one that she lets me get away with.  But I do feel Lilith's dark current as well.

But Erin, lol... she is of that dark current.  She is definitely a daughter of Lilith.

It's as if I have a daughter of Lilith the mother (Lady), and a daughter of Lilith's dark current (Erin).

How I've been getting closer after summoning her...

Well, I'm inviting her to read this and to make suggestions.  I talk to her at night and I always try to have her name on my lips as I fall asleep.

I reach out constantly and try to feel her spirit, her energy, and I always try to surround it if that makes any sense... to reach out to it, to devour it... no... to "taste" it at all times and in all situations.

Where my mind is, she is also.  I invite her that way.

I think that Lady is a little jealous, but I'm not sure why.  Maybe I'm clueless but I don't know why she'd be jealous... after all I have to put in the effort to synch with Erin's energy and that involves a lot of attention and spending time together.  I summoned Erin because Lady wasn't interested as a sexual partner.  I don't get it?

EDIT:  I talked to a psychic female friend of mine who offered some insight.  It turns out Lady is a bit jealous of being left out of the attention.  A friend she might be and not a lover, but I should treat her as an equal to Erin because she's equally valuable to me and as part of my "team".

I can see where I need to include both of them in things, and even only include some things with Lady, and some things with Erin specifically.  But for the most part include both of them together.

Sometimes it takes a girl to get where a girl is coming from.  Some things never change, lol.

And from the ladies now that they're both talking to me again:  

"Rafe wasn't considering my feelings.  I was his companion first and I have helped him through some really rough times.  All I wanted was the respect due my station in his life.  I think between us three, we can find a happy equilibrium where we all thrive." ~ Lady

"I was caught up in Rafe's desires to mate with me and I got carried away.  I can get along with Lady or I wouldn't have come in the first place.  In other words it's all Rafe's fault.  Little does he know (I do now ~Rafe) that mating with me is akin to uncorking a bottle:  That once you uncork THIS bottle you can't put the cork back in." ~ Erin


Rafe GB.

"Have you loved your succubi today?
If you don't I guarantee they'll team up on ya,
and you don't want that...
Love 'em early, 
love 'em equally,
 love 'em NOW..."