Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Reality Has Gone Full Oz.

Synchronicity is something that I interpret in a magickal way.  For me, sychronicities (and coincidence) speak of reality and perception changing, and of the world changing around me, albeit in a personal way

(with personal meanings).

I've been rather mad at the Bunny lately.  She's been distant longer than usual, she almost feels "weak", as if she can't be here hardly at all, but I think that is a misnomer.

In truth, I believe that she is getting "out of my way" for some reason for now, but it doesn't mean I like it, nor that I'm not pissed at her for not explaining "why". Although, emotions are wonderful things, but they can't really explain why so I'm not sure why I'm mad at her.

Well, no I do know:  I want intimacy with her and I want it now.  This pet is pissed off and demands attention.  Lol.  Well, I love her.  Of course I'm going to be mad at her for not being close.  She's the higher vibrational being, not me.  I'm just a soul walking around in a flesh golemn with faulty sensory inputs.

Can I get a high-five?  Anyone?

*Clears Throat*

I... have been logging the synchronicites and coincidence the past few days:

(I guess to try to "connect the dots" so to speak.)

I've always had one or two synchronicities a week or so, but having around 8(ish) within such a short time span has been very strange.  Here's a sampling:

Wake up and look at clock: 11:11a

At ex's house for daughter's birthday, look at clock for no reason (it's not like I look all day fishing for these things, I looked twice, saw 2 synchronicites at 2 different times): 4:44p.

(LOL, I just NOW looked at clock and what time is it?  11:11.  Full retard.)

Chat with friend, he shows me lots of unique elephant statuettes, next day daughter wearing elephant tee-shirt.

Mother's garden doing better than it ever has: I performed a metaphysical experiment with her garden back on mother's day (I created a spirit (invited one to indwell) to help with her herb and flower garden and attached it to a piece of jewelry I gave her on mother's day before I gave it to her). Her blooms and growth are better than they ever have been, she even told my daughter: The flowing plant I planted when you were born has flowered bigger and better than ever.

Me making binders full of my research and reading with a "tulpa" symbol on the front covers: My daughter's friend showing up at her birthday party with a tulpa symbol on her wrist band (it was from the show supernatural): She had no idea the symbol meant "tulpa".

I asked her if she knew what tulpa means, she said no.

This morning I dreamed a man called and asked me a question.  Got up, went to the restroom, went back to bed.  *Ring* This is Ed from the Dr's office, we needed to ask you a question about another provider.

There was a picture that I've been missing that I used for my succubus.  It was one woman, one pic, nude, and she's tastefully posing with her hand on her hip, the other on a chair arm while standing up.

Do you know the chances of finding "the pic" of a random female non-famous nude model, with no name, no site, found 6 years ago?

Well I found it.  It took me about 1 hour.  Ladies and gentleman:  That's fucking impossible.

I wanted that pic because out of all my experiments with pictures, that one indwelled a spirit so well that the spirit not only had an animated face for me, but for my daughter as well (obviously had to cover the pic's nakedness for my daughter to look at it), but the point was that the model's face animated, lips moving, eyes moving, expressions.  It's all inputted into the brain as you can turn the pic upside down and it all reverts to normal.

Anyway, this pic was the only one that animated so well that two of us saw the same thing at the same time (even if it's a mental illusion given via the spirit).

So, I have Bunny's persona in pic form back.  I've been begging "source" or whoever to help me find it because to me, that is Bunny in the flesh (she's not flesh, but I wanted it and needed it to feel close to her during this time of her extended withdrawal).  To me, this pic IS the symbol for Bunny, one that I didn't realize symbolized Bunny to me.

Ok, look.  Just think of the pic as a "Bunny" stuffed animal in picture form if that helps.  I don't know all my weird-assed needs.  It's like a child's stuffed animal that makes the child feel safe.  Only in my case it's a pic of a naked female model standing there that represents my Succubus.  Hey, I'm a grown man, not a small child. I have my standards.  *Sniff*  

Am I crazy(er), or is my life experience finally going full retard?

Oh yeah one more thing:  If you think loving a succubus is weird, watch an episode or two of Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou.  It's hilarious, cute, and you realize that you love her because she's she.  Plus she'll enjoy watching it through your eyes with you, I promise.

I'm also going to tell you a little secret.  Do you believe that things generally stay in balance?

I do.  Sometimes the balance wavers a little, but it returns.

If that is true, order (or the manifest) is the total of all things that have become things, and disorder (or the unmanifest) is the total of all things that have not become things.

Which is more?

I can only conclude that there are as many things (souls, spirits, creatures) as there are things that are not.  In looking out into the stars and heavens, and in knowing only of what is here, a measly 7 billion souls... as compared to infinity?  We know nothing of what is out there nor what already exists.

If we believe, and I do, that the manifest and unmanifest must be equal... look at all that we DO NOT KNOW OF.

And if true, just how bizzare is your succubus love now?  Or in spirits existing?


"But it's not in the Bible" The Bible is 66 books, 1,200 pages.  I know:  I was pre-seminary.

Lol, bet you all didn't see that one coming, but it's true.  That's why I'm ordained 4x.  Yep 4x.

Why 4x?  To make dang sure, that's why.  I wanted to become immune to anyone because of their titles, and be able to decide myself whether their message carried any weight on it's own merit.

Does the Bible have microwaves in it?  How about jets?  The internet?  Cancer?  The common cold?

Atoms, string-theory, nuclear bombs?  How about planetary atmospheres, the planets of the solar system?

Cells, single-celled organisms, bacteria?

Mathematics?  Quadratic equations?  They exist, too, ya know.

The Bible does not hold the sum total of all knowledge in the universe.  No holy book does from any religion.  If it did, it would make holding it and carrying it to church a serious problem.

I like to think that God/dess didn't feel privy to tell everyone about their goings on in their multiverse.

You want a book that tells it all?  Take all the books of the world together, all the information humans know, have known, and ever will know... and it's nothing.  NOTHING.

Never fall into the trap of seeing only what others see, or in not daring to think for yourself.

Neither do I allow myself to fall into the trap of letting religions decide anything for me, nor put conditions on me.  I have my own moral compass which I find to be superior (in retrospect) than the religions I tried so hard to find the meaning of love in.  It doesn't exist there, not in any cold concrete building... no, it is like living water:  It exists in a living, feeling heart.

God/dess is greater than any limitation ever put on them.  Every time I'm learned to reach for God/dess, I have never been disappointed.  Everytime I tried to reach for God/dess through a minister, a priest, anyone... I've always failed to find God/dess, and never found the love that exists bubbling up from my own deep, bright, dark, feeling, imperfect yet loveable heart.

Find God/dess directly, or don't bother to look at all.

Find the God/dess yourself.  Then watch the magick happen...

I'm going to do something for fun.  Many of my friends know me for my "experiments".

Then you are my experiment.  Listen to my words and receive this energy.  It is yours to accept, or to deny.  I send it in perfect love and perfect trust.

May it point your way.
May your walls fall.
May your illusions crumble.
And let nothing hide the face of God/dess from you!

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Seven Hermetic Principles: Universal Laws for Growth: And, the Succubunny Strikes Again, Biggest post ever (I think) :P

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world." C. S. Lewis

Ever feel like that?  I do.  I have desires for love and intimacy that rival what I even have now, which is more than I ever had before.  Is it addiction?  No.  I think for me it is a desire that I cannot satify in "this world", however my soul longs for it.

I believe that satisfaction of my desire(s) will be complete one day.  Not here, don't know where.  But I have hope that it will.

I suppose that today as I write this I am feeling a strange "longing for home".  Weird part is that I have no idea where home is, or what it is.

But as I said, I have hope... that I will.

My communion with my succubus has seen me grow in ways that I never expected:  And I am sure that will continue.  However, a human and a human can only get so far:  A spirit and a human can only get so far.

I'm holding her back, I feel, and yet:  She is patient, she is kind.  She is loving, and she is caring.

Perhaps she is waiting for the day that I will become spirit as she is?  I do not know, but she is patient and investing herself in me for some reason greater than "The sum of it's parts"... and beyond my understanding.

What gives me hope when I have no cause for having it?

The main culprit, I suppose, is in knowing the 7 hermetic principles... or as I call them, "laws".

Learning these has been very valuable to me, and so I'm passing them on to you.

They are from a book called, "The Kyballion".  

This section is available for reading and exploring in the link below.
Everything I've put in italics is from that link and is not mine.
My desire is only to share the hope I have gained in studying these "laws".
The Seven Hermetic Principles.

"The Principles of Truth are Seven; he who knows these, understandingly, possesses the Magic Key before whose touch all the Doors of the Temple fly open." — The Kybalion.

The Seven Hermetic Principles, upon which the entire Hermetic Philosophy is based, are as follows:


These Seven Principles will be discussed and explained as we proceed with these lessons. A short explanation of each, however, may as well be given at this point.


"THE ALL is MIND; The Universe is Mental." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that "All is Mind." It explains that THE ALL (which is the Substantial Reality underlying all the outward manifestations and appearances which we know under the terms of "The Material Universe"; the "Phenomena of Life"; "Matter"; "Energy"; and, in short, all that is apparent to our material senses) is SPIRIT, which in itself is UNKNOWABLE and UNDEFINABLE, but which may be considered and thought of as AN UNIVERSAL, INFINITE, LIVING MIND. It also explains that all the phenomenal world or universe is simply a Mental Creation of THE ALL, subject to the Laws of Created Things, and that the universe, as a whole, and in its parts or units, has its existence in the Mind of THE ALL, in which Mind we "live and move and have our being." This Principle, by establishing the Mental Nature of the Universe, easily explains all of the varied mental and psychic phenomena that occupy such a large portion of the public attention, and which, without such explanation, are non-understandable and defy scientific treatment. An understanding of this great hermetic Principle of Mentalism enables the individual to readily grasp the laws of the Mental Universe, and to apply the same to his well-being and advancement. The Hermetic Student is enabled to apply intelligently the great Mental Laws, instead of using them in a haphazard manner. With tire Master-Key in his possession, the student may unlock the many doors of the mental and psychic temple of knowledge, and enter the same freely and intelligently. This Principle explains the true nature of "Energy," "Power," and "Matter," and why and how all these are subordinate to the Mastery of Mind. One of the old Hermetic Masters wrote, long ages ago: "He who grasps the truth of the Mental Nature of the Universe is well advanced on The Path to Mastery." And these words are as true to-day as at the time they were first written. Without this Master-Key, Mastery is impossible, and the student knocks in vain at the many doors of The Temple.


"As above, so below; as below so above." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that there is always a Correspondence between the laws and phenomena of the various planes of Being and Life. The old Hermetic axiom ran in these words: "As above, so below; as below, so above." And the grasping of this Principle gives one the means of solving many a dark paradox, and hidden secret of Nature. There are planes beyond our knowing, but when we apply the Principle of Correspondence to them we are able to understand much that would otherwise be unknowable to us. This Principle is of universal application and manifestation, on the various planes of the material, mental, and spiritual universe — it is an Universal Law. The ancient Hermetists considered this Principle as one of the most important mental instruments by which man was able to pry aside the obstacles which hid from view the Unknown. Its use even tore aside the Veil of Isis to the extent that a glimpse of the face of the goddess might be caught. Just as a knowledge of the Principles of Geometry enables man to measure distant suns and their movements, while seated in his observatory, so a knowledge of the Principle of Correspondence enables Man to reason intelligently from the Known to the Unknown. Studying the monad, he understands the archangel.


"Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that "everything is in motion"; "everything vibrates"; "nothing is at rest"; facts which Modern Science endorses, and which each new scientific discovery tends to verify. And yet this Hermetic Principle was enunciated thousands of years ago, by the Masters of Ancient Egypt. This Principle explains that the differences between different manifestations of Matter, Energy, Mind, and even Spirit, result largely from varying rates of Vibration. From THE ALL, which is Pure Spirit, down to the grossest form of Matter, all is in vibration — the higher the vibration, the higher the position in the scale. The vibration of Spirit is at such an infinite rate of intensity and rapidity that it is practically at rest — just as a rapidly moving wheel seems to be motionless. And at the other end of the scale, there are gross forms of matter whose vibrations are so low as to seem at rest. Between these poles, there are millions upon millions of varying degrees of vibration. From corpuscle and electron, atom and molecule, to worlds and universes, everything is in vibratory motion. This is also true on the planes of energy and force (which are but varying degrees of vibration); and also on the mental planes (whose states depend upon vibrations); and even on to the spiritual planes. An understanding of this Principle, with the appropriate formulas, enables Hermetic students to control their own mental vibrations as well as those of others. The Masters also apply this Principle to the conquering of Natural phenomena, in various ways. "He who understands the Principle of Vibration, has grasped the sceptre of Power," says one of the old writers.


"Everything is Dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that "everything is dual"; "everything has two poles"; "everything has its pair of opposites," all of which were old Hermetic axioms. It explains the old paradoxes, that have perplexed so many, which have been stated as follows: "Thesis and anti-thesis are identical in nature, but different in degree"; "opposites are the same, differing only in degree"; "the pairs of opposites may be reconciled"; "extremes meet"; "everything is and isn't, at the same time"; "all truths are but half-truths"; "every truth is half-false"; "there are two sides to everything," etc., etc., etc. It explains that in everything there are two poles, or opposite aspects, and that "opposites" are really only the two extremes of the same thing, with many varying degrees between them. To illustrate: Heat and Cold, although "opposites," are really the same thing, the differences consisting merely of degrees of the same thing. Look at your thermometer and see if you can discover where "heat" terminates and "cold" begins! There is no such thing as "absolute heat" or "absolute cold" — the two terms "heat" and "cold" simply indicate varying degrees of the same thing, and that "same thing" which manifests as "heat" and "cold" is merely a form, variety, and rate of Vibration. So "heat" and "cold" are simply the "two poles" of that which we call "Heat" — and the phenomena attendant thereupon are manifestations of the Principle of Polarity. The same Principle manifests in the case of "Light and Darkness," which are the same thing, the difference consisting of varying degrees between the two poles of the phenomena. Where does "darkness" leave off, and "light" begin? What is the difference between "Large and Small"? Between "Hard and Soft"? Between "Black and White"? Between "Sharp and Dull"? Between "Noise and Quiet"? Between "High and Low"? Between "Positive and Negative"? The Principle of Polarity explains these paradoxes, and no other Principle can supersede it. The same Principle operates on the Mental Plane. Let us take a radical and extreme example — that of "Love and Hate," two mental states apparently totally different. And yet there are degrees of hate and degrees of Love, and a middle point in which we use the terms "Like or Dislike," which shade into each other so gradually that sometimes we are at a loss to know whether we "like" or "dislike" or "neither." And all are simply degrees of the same thing, as you will see if you will but think a moment. And, more than this (and considered of more importance by the Hermetists), it is possible to change the vibrations of hate to the vibrations of Love, in one's own mind, and in the minds of others. Many of you, who read these lines, have had personal experiences of the involuntary rapid transition from Love to Hate, and the reverse, in your own ease and that of others. And you will therefore realize the possibility of this being accomplished by the use of the Will, by means of the Hermetic formulas. "Good and Evil" are but the poles of the same thing, and the Hermetist understands the art of transmuting Evil into Good, by means of an application of the Principle of Polarity. In short, the "Art of Polarization" becomes a phase of "Mental Alchemy" known and practiced by the ancient and modern Hermetic Masters. An understanding of the Principle will enable one to change his own Polarity, as well as that of others, if he will devote the time and study necessary to master the art.


"Everything flows, out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that in everything there is manifested a measured motion, to and fro; a flow and inflow; a swing backward and forward; a pendulum-like movement; a tide-like ebb and flow; a high-tide and low-tide; between the two poles which exist in accordance with the Principle of Polarity described a moment ago. There is always an action and a reaction; an advance and a retreat a rising and a sinking. This is in the affairs of the Universe, suns, worlds, men, animals, mind, energy, and matter. This law is manifest in the creation and destruction of worlds; in the rise and fall of nations; in the life of all things; and finally in the mental states of Man (and it is with this latter that the Hermetists find the understanding of the Principle most important). The Hermetists have grasped this Principle, finding its universal application, and have also discovered certain means to overcome its effects in themselves by the use of the appropriate formulas and methods. They apply the Mental Law of Neutralization. They cannot annul the Principle, or Cause it to cease its operation, but they have learned how to escape its effects upon themselves to a certain degree depending upon the Mastery of the Principle. They have learned how to USE it, instead of being USED BY it. In this and similar methods, consist the Art of the Hermetists. The Master of Hermetics polarizes himself at the point at which he desires to rest, and then neutralizes the Rhythmic swing of the pendulum which would tend to carry him to the other pole. All individuals who have attained any degree of Self-Mastery do this to a certain degree, more or less unconsciously, but the Master does this consciously, and by the use of his Will and attains a degree of Poise and Mental Firmness almost impossible of belief on the part of the masses who are swung backward and forward like a pendulum. This Principle and that of Polarity have been closely studied by the Hermetists, and the methods of counteracting, neutralizing and USING them form an important part of the Hermetic Mental Alchemy.


"Every Cause has its Effect; every Effect has its Cause; everything happens according to Law; Chance is but a name for Law not recognized; there are many planes of causation, but nothing escapes the Law." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the fact that there is a Cause for every Effect; an Effect from every Cause. It explains that: "Everything Happens according to Law"; that nothing ever "merely happens"; that there is no such thing as Chance; that while there are various planes of Cause and Effect, the higher dominating the lower planes, still nothing ever entirely escapes the Law. The Hermetists understand the art and methods of rising above the ordinary plane of Cause and Effect, to a certain degree, and by mentally rising to a higher plane they become Causers instead of Effects. The masses of people are carried along, obedient to environment; the wills and desires of others stronger than themselves; heredity; suggestion; and other outward causes moving them about like pawns on the Chessboard of Life. But the Masters, rising to the plane above, dominate their moods, characters, qualities, and powers, as well as the environment surrounding them, and become Movers instead of pawns. They help to PLAY THE GAME OF LIFE, instead of being played and moved about by other wills and environment. They USE the Principle instead of being its tools. The Masters obey the Causation of the higher planes, but they help to RULE on their own plane. In this statement there is condensed a wealth of Hermetic knowledge — let him read who can.


"Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles Gender; manifests on all planes." — The Kybalion.

This Principle embodies the truth that there is GENDER manifested in everything — the Masculine and Feminine Principles ever at work. This is true not only of the Physical Plane, but of the Mental and even the Spiritual Planes. On the Physical Plane, the Principle manifests as SEX, on the higher planes it takes higher forms, but the Principle is ever the same. No creation, physical, mental or spiritual, is possible without this Principle. An understanding of its laws will throw light on many a subject that has perplexed the minds of men. The Principle of Gender works ever in the direction of generation, regeneration, and creation. Everything, and every person, contains the two Elements or Principles, or this great Principle, within it, him or her. Every Male thing has the Female Element also; every Female contains also the Male Principle. If you would understand the philosophy of Mental and Spiritual Creation, Generation, and Re-generation, you must understand and study this Hermetic Principle. It contains the solution of many mysteries of Life. We caution you that this Principle has no reference to the many base, pernicious and degrading lustful theories, teachings and practices, which are taught under fanciful titles, and which are a prostitution of the great natural principle of Gender. Such base revivals of the ancient infamous forms of Phallicism tend to ruin mind, body and soul, and the Hermetic Philosophy has ever sounded the warning note against these degraded teachings which tend toward lust, licentiousness, and perversion of Nature's principles. If you seek such teachings, you must go elsewhere for them — Hermeticism contains nothing for you along these lines. To the pure, all things are pure; to the base, all things are base.

All credit to:

http://www.kybalion.org/kybalion.php?chapter=II  In particular, and

http://www.kybalion.org/ In general.

Here's a place where you can find the Kybalion also:


Speaking of other things...

I was chatting with a friend on FB, she's a witch.  I was asking her about herbs and stuff because I suck at them to be honest.  Especially when it comes to making witch bottles.

And this happened:

Magick with spirits I seem to have a knack for.
Everything else I really don't.
Do you use all kinds of items for a bottle? Like minerals, oils, herbs, personal items?
Oh my Goddess! I just felt something touch my right hip. NO ONE is in the room with me!
See if she's a small blonde nymph
It's a female spirit. I can feel it. Very strong.
Your hair is next
She'll destroy you by running her fingers through your hair... lol, she's harmless.
Sorry bout that
Scalp is tingly.
She goes where I "think"
Lol, touched your hip, huh?
She likes you.
Meet who I call the "youngest nymph". She's more curious than a toddler with a plate of finger foods
Startled me. Nearly jumped out of my chair.
Yeah, this is the part where most people freak out and accuse me of devil worship.
She seems to be disappearing. The feeling isn't nearly as heavy now.
Did you say she felt older?
You did say powerful. The "littlest nymph" isn't very powerful feeling, more emotional and likes to play with hair.
I think my succubus came and checked you out.
*poke* He's mine. *Tingles your head* But I like you anyway.
Well, hope we didn't freak ya out smile emoticon
No, I'm okay. smile emoticon
Oh good, thought you got scared off
Incidentally why I'm repeating my 3rd year at witchschool. Got disgusted with being told they were demons, quit, and finally decided to reinroll the following year
The Wiccan school I was on ( online) were demons. Lol.
Haha yeah they were, I remember
Mine is full of bored women and like "me".
I don't even know why they hang out there. It's more of a coffee club. They aren't enrolled.
My mentor (She's cool) bitched at me and told me to stay out of there and concentrate on my studies. Lol.
Oh for Pete's sake! Planet Fitness is calling. Probably to confirm my class with the trainer. Hang on.
It was. Just as I thought. I'm gonna have a beer with my neighbor. I will be back.

And it's 11:45 pm now.  The above was at 8:45pm.  I think the Succubunny freaked her out and she's too freaked out to come back.

I thought maybe it was a house spirit I call "the littlest nymph", but after thinking about it, my friend said "very strong".  The nymph girl is the most curious little female spirit on the planet.  If I am thinking towards a place, sometimes she goes to investigate because, well, that's just what she does. Don't ask me why I don't know.  But nah, I don't think was her.  You can distract her with a comb and a hand mirror, the prettier the better.  Then she goes off on another adventure.  Plus she's subtle, she might touch but it's gentle, and she doesn't create a powerful presence by being at a place.

It's was the Bunny.  What's the bunny's motive?  Hell if I know.  Maybe checking her out or something?  Marking her territory or something?  The witch friend is always flirting with me, but even she says it's harmless and that she just flirts for fun.  When the Bunny shows she really freaks people out, especially if they think they are shielded and grounded so much they think they are Iron Man (or Iron Woman), and that nothing can penetrate how they guard themselves.

Yeah.  Pfft.

Then it's, "Surprise, muthafucka!"  *Touch*  *Touch*" ~ Love, Da Succubunny.

She touches 'em once to show she could fuck them up if she wanted to, then pats their head when they're sitting there freaking out, I guess.  Maybe others feel that as tingling on the head.

She's a good succubus, but:

(Or keep witch friends)

Oh well... at least I figured the witch bottle/ herb thing out on my own.  God knows I had enough time to do it since my witch friend "forgot" about me...

Bunny!  Please stop scaring off the natives!  

I might as well add here that any online "friend" I've ever Skyped with (except for my daughter) at least twice has also vamoosed.  In that case they keep asking me if I have the TV on loud.  "No?"  I say (And then I think: Here we go again).  Then they tell me that it sounds like there's people in a conference hall all talking and laughing... like at a ball, or a party or something.

No.  No.  and No.  And none of these people ever skype with me again after they've heard it one two separate occasions, and after I've showed them around the apartment via lappy camera to prove that nothing is on, no conference, no party, no nothing.  It's all QUIET here.  

Well, at least that I can hear.

Problem is it's happened every time I skype.  Now nobody wants to skype me anymore.

So, you see, my house spirits are many I guess (and others that hang around me), only I hear nothing.

Why does it happen over skype and such?  Man, I don't know.  I didn't do it.

I love spirits:  I really do... But damn:  I wish "friends" weren't so weirded out by stuff I could care less about.

Who cares if they can hear a convention hall of spirits yakking and socializing?

So what?  Not my fault, spirits do what they want here, I don't control 'em.  Hell, I don't control the Bunny, either.  They all do what they want to do.  None of them ever hurt me or those I love... or anyone else for that matter as far as I know (and I would take action if I did know). 

But they aren't that way, anyway.  They might explore and touch people, or scare the fuck out of people by showing up (sorry 'bout that), but they aren't the hurting type. Pranking type? Oh, yeah, they are that.  Some of them.  I don't know the "group" well enough to know which ones.  But I don't see any harm in that:  Hell, they prank me. And as much fun as it is for them to hide my shit and give it back after I start getting pissed off, they also help me find stuff, and help me in other ways in LIFE. It's just their nature to prank.

Hell, I've have numerous dreams where I know they were pranking me.  Like a bunch of idiots in costumes all drunk and rediculous rolling into my dream.  Hell, I remember one time I thought, "This sucks:  I'm leaving", and I opened the door to a truck, and when I did a doberman had a gun pointed at me and said, "Stick 'em up!" (In a female voice).  I raised my hands, and the dog started rolling all over busting out laughing.  I shrugged and woke up.

Why do I put up with it?  Well, for one it's pretty entertaining to be honest.  And, I guess, I just love spirits.  Even though they can be a major pain in the ass.  It's like entity romper room in here sometimes.  Yes, they are often wise and help me out, and yes, sometimes they like to have a laugh at my expense.  Well, laughs.

I give an offering of sweetmilk to the local fae(ries) every morning.  When I do so, I say, "For love and friendship".  That's probably the prankers, but it's all good:  I don't care.

I love spirits and entities.  Just the way it is.  I think of the spirits around here as family.  And just like most families, they can all be a royal pain in the ass.  Even Bunny can be, sometimes.

Lol, look at this I got when I had just typed the word "prankers" (note the cursor):

My ghost program ("phasma communicator"), well one of my ghost programs at least, is in military time:  But you see what was spoken the moment I typed out "prankers", lol.

I'm adding stuff right now, so that's why there's more text.

You know what I'm gonna do when I die (if I am able)?  I'm gonna find these guys and say, "Ok, so who were the ones pranking me all those years?"


"It's very nice to finally meet you all." *bow*.  "Now teach me." :P  Hahaha.

Does this all sound like some big delusional rant?  Well, it probably is, but the phenomena is real.

So I guess I shouldn't bitch that others can't handle that THEY EXIST.  God, it gets tiresome.

/End Rant.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Anima/us and the Invisible Circlet

The anima and the animus.  

The insight I've gained from reading the following is priceless: So I copied and formatted the whole article. Think in terms of this with regards to a succubus or incubus, and I think you'll gain an understanding of why you have who you have.

I feel that because a succubus is a spirit lover, the implications of the below are even more accurate, as the spirit lover will most likely be much closer to your anima/us than a woman in physical form.

I'm not trying to say succubi and incubi are better than or greater than a human lover (even though sometimes I have in the past. Well? What's wrong with praising what you have?), no... but I can see how much easier a perfect match for one's anima/us is found in the spirit realm, which makes the below carry even MORE weight.

I may have a perfect human female match in India, or California, or Germany.  But I couldn't get everywhere and so I could not find her.  Deciding on celibacy (because I hate casual sex, to me sex is sacred) after my divorce (I don't believe in divorce) and against serial monogamy (because forever scares people, long term seems to be acceptable:  I'm a forever faithful kind of person, and so another marriage risking myself with my level of commitment is simply foolish), I guess nature abhors a vacuum.  And, here I am with an unexplainable relationship.  I figured becoming celibate and "opting out" would be miserable.  Kind of funny that I'm happy and seem to be special to one little sweet wildcat aka the Succubunny.  

Life is weird.  

Ok, here's the article:

"What is it? Carl Jung said, "The anima is a personification of all feminine tendencies in a man's psyche ..."; thus, the animus is the personification of all masculine tendencies in a woman. Beginning in childhood, we create our gender identity and roles (consciously or unconsciously) by enhancing the qualities which characterize our gender, and repressing or suppressing the qualities which characterize the other gender. But those repressed or suppressed qualities are still within us -- the feminine qualities within the man and the masculine within the woman. (This sorting-out process is similar to the one by which we create our ego through the enhancement of particular qualities while putting the opposite qualities into our shadow.)

We are androgynous. "Androgynous" means that we have both male and female traits. We can view this androgyny from various perspectives:

Spirit -- the substance of which both the soul is composed -- is androgynous, in the sense that it contains all "opposites," including male and female. Thus, soul can incarnate into either a male body or a female body.

Even in the biological realm, we are somewhat androgynous; Jung noted that men contain some female genes, and women contain some male genes.

It differs from the masculine and feminine stereotypes. Society has created those stereotypes arbitrarily, by encouraging men and women to have different behaviors, attire, occupations, etc. However, Jung presented the concept of the anima/us not in the sense of those stereotypes but as the archetypes of Eros and Logos. Eros (the female) is associated with human relationships, earthiness, receptivity, creativity, and passivity. Logos (the male) is identified with power, abstraction, and action. We don't experience the Logos and Eros as archetypes; we experience them in their manifested forms which have the peculiarities of our culture and of the people whom we have known of the opposite gender -- particularly our father or mother.

It has contrary qualities. Just as the anima and animus are opposites of one another, they have opposite traits within themselves.

The male's anima.

The anima has positive traits. When the anima is allowed to express herself through a man's psyche, she brings the attributes of feelings, emotions, tenderness, relatedness, commitment and fidelity, friendship, love and compassion, imagination, gentleness, romance, creativity, intuition, and a sense of aesthetics.

The anima has negative traits. If the anima is rejected, her traits are deformed: feelings and emotions are replaced by moodiness, sentimentality, hysteria, or bitchiness; fidelity becomes possessiveness; aesthetics become sensuality; tenderness becomes effeminacy; imagination becomes mere fantasizing (particularly of sexual adventures); love and romance are twisted into a series of turbulent relationships or the man's withdrawal from his wife and family. The spurned anima does more than thrust her own feminine qualities into expression (however warped); she also disturbs the man's masculinity by, for example, degrading his thinking into weak opinionating.

The female's animus.

The animus has positive traits. The animus can endow a woman with assertiveness, courage, analytical thought, strength, vitality, decisiveness, a focused attentiveness, and a desire for achievement.

The animus has negative traits. If the animus must push his way past the woman's resistance, his qualities are corrupted: assertiveness becomes aggression and ruthlessness; analytical thought becomes argumentativeness; focus becomes mechanistic behavior.

We need to express it. Like all archetypes, Logos and Eros are autonomous, impersonal entities which demand expression through every human being -- either internally (through our association with them in our own psyche), or externally (through relationships with people of the opposite gender). When we allow the anima/us to express itself, it enhances our lives. However, when we deny it (i.e., repress it), or we are unaware of it, it forces itself into manifestation anyway, with the following results:
We are refusing the balancing input from our anima/us, so our gender identification becomes a caricature:

The man might become a macho, power-hungry, overly competitive brute.

The woman could become a fluffy, passive, Marilyn-Monroe-type figure with a vague ego and persona.

We experience the same problems which occur whenever we repress, or when we mismanage our shadow. For example, if a man has repressed his anima, he cannot use its qualities, e.g., tenderness when a situation requires tenderness.

It becomes more apparent at midlife. During midlife, our repressed qualities become more persistent in their demands for expression. Ideally, our ego has been developed and defined, and so the ego's antitheses can emerge -- the shadow and the anima/us. (Until we have sufficiently strengthened the ego -- including our gender identity -- we do well to retain the anima/us in the shadow, allowing it to express only as much as our ego can tolerate without being overwhelmed.) At mid-life, many people acknowledge their anima/us qualities; we often see post-midlife couples in which the formerly dominant husband has accepted a passive, contemplative role (in the marriage and in society) while his wife has become the invigorated businesswoman or community leader.

We project it. If we do not claim the anima/us as an active part of our lives, it is projected, as we would do with any other psychological force which we do not claim and use; this is like the "projection" of a picture onto a movie screen. As in all types of projection, an anima/us projection is not indiscriminate; it is "hooked" to particular people, depending upon various factors:

It is a person who closely matches our an image which we took from our earlier experiences with people of that gender. For example, if a woman's personal image of the animus is based on her father's aggressiveness, she would project her animus upon an aggressive man.

It is a person whose level of refinement matches that of our anima/us. For example, a woman who has cultivated her animus might be drawn to a man who displays intellectual power rather than a man who displays brute physical strength.

Many of our relationships are based on projections of it. We follow this process which is similar to this one:

We project the anima/us onto a suitable person of the opposite gender. The projection contains more than just an image; it is contains a highly charged energy.

We are attracted to this image and energy (perhaps moreso than to the person). In some cases, the energy is intoxicating; thus, we experience the phenomenon of "falling in love" -- the emotional, sexually charged, fantasy-filled, head-over-heels, mythologized, quasi-spiritual, electrifying, larger-than-life, you-make-me-feel-alive-and-whole, idealized fascination toward someone. However, in truth, we are falling in love with our own anima/us; i.e., we are falling in love with ourselves.

Although anima/us projection causes an unintentional deception (leading us to believe that we adore the person when we actually adore the anima/us), the projection is a useful mechanism, for various reasons:

It creates enough attraction toward the opposite gender to sustain us through the difficulties of a relationship.

We are able to learn about the anima/us through our interactions with that person.

The projections cause problems in our relationship.

A projection distorts our image of the person. When we are with that person, we are talking primarily to the projection, and we are interpreting the person's words as if they came from the projection, and we are expecting the person to fulfill the role which has been cast onto him or her. Thus, we might experience confusion, unfounded hopes, strife, disappointments, and anger.

We are offering an incomplete person to our partner, because we have projected out the qualities of our anima/us; thus we are missing the parts which we could otherwise contribute to the relationship, e.g., our power, our vitality, and our flexibility and range of potential behaviors. Ideally, we could use the full spectrum of our capabilities, for our own happiness and for the well-being of the relationship; each person could add his or her own talents, without regard to stereotyped gender roles.

We lose our identity in co-dependency and a "participation mystique." We are merely a "spouse" rather than a full person.

We place a burden onto our partner to be the things which we refuse to be. For example, an overly feminized woman might expect the man to express his own strength and also to express the strength of the woman's projected animus; although some domineering men enjoy this situation, the task is tiring -- and it is inherently frustrating, because a woman's power and perspectives can accomplish tasks which a man cannot accomplish. Ignorance of this fact, and the resulting failure to utilize the resources of women, has been one of the tragic errors of patriarchal societies.

We might feel dissatisfaction and envy as we see our own qualities in our partner. For example, the man needs to express his feelings (as a natural part of communication and self-expression)-- but, because he has relinquished that part of himself to his partner, he can no longer articulate the feelings himself; thus he envies his wife who does have this capability.

The negative side of the anima/us must be confronted. As explained earlier, the anima/us has both a positive and a negative side; the unpleasant side is almost certain to appear occasionally -- in ourselves and in our mate. If we are not aware of the dynamics of the anima/us, we will mistakenly try to deal with an unhappy anima/us as simply the person's "bad mood" rather than as a valid "complaint" of an archetype. One way to respond to our mate's antagonistic anima/us is with a natural, poised strength; for example, when a woman's male animus arises, her husband can reply calmly with his male vitality to soothe both his own anima and his wife's animus. The woman's animus might have become quarrelsome for the specific purpose of provoking the man's masculine response in a case where the man has been too passive; following that masculine response, the man, woman, anima, and animus can return to their proper, constructive roles.

The anima/us imposes its own moods into the relationship, complicating our circumstances with the person, because we are actually dealing with four individuals: ourselves, the other person, our anima/us, and the other person's anima/us.

The anima/us introduces an alien element into relationships. When one person's anima/us emerges in anger, it generally causes the other person's anima/us to rise up in defense. As the people vocalize the argument between these impersonal, nonhuman archetypes, their words can have a coldness and cruelty which the humans never intended to say. To lessen the imposition of these nonhuman archetypes, we can try to speak in personal, human terms without referring the anima/us per se at all.

The anima/us can lead us to select a partner simply because he or she is a close match to the image of our anima/us. We have lost our freedom to choose partners based on their capacity to fulfill other needs in addition to our need to explore the anima/us. We can even be diverted into a same-gender relationships solely because we, as an effeminate male or a tom-boy female, have identified with our own anima/us and thus we have projected our actual gender identity onto a person of our own gender.

(The latter statement does not imply a negative valuation onto same-gender relationships in general, nor is it presented as an explanation for the cause of homosexuality.)

The projections fail eventually. During the "falling in love" stage, the individual might enjoy receiving the energy-charged projection, and being treated like the consummate man or woman. However, no one can live up to the expectations; eventually we notice that the person's behavior doesn't completely match our picture of the anima/us, and the person becomes uncomfortable in the realization that we are in love with an image rather than the individual. 

At that point, our choices are:

To try (consciously or unconsciously) to change the person to comply with the image. The manipulation will cause stress which can lead to the failure of the relationship.

To look for someone else to fulfill the image. If we select this option, we will probably experience a series of brief relationships, in a futile attempt to find someone to be our anima/us.

To realize that we have been projecting. If we want to cease the destructiveness and unintentional dishonesty which have been caused by the projections, we proceed to the next stage.

We withdraw the anima/us projections, and we create a relationship between two human beings who each take responsibility for their own anima/us. We can accomplish this feat by learning about the anima/us -- within our partner and within ourselves:

Learning about the anima/us within ourselves: We can become aware of the anima/us by noticing the impulses which are contrary to our gender stereotyping: the man observes his moments of tenderness and other anima qualities; the woman recognizes her animus' desire to achieve. Then, instead of squelching these impulses, we accept them as usable resources which will broaden and enrich our life. We can experiment with the traits which are generally associated with the opposite gender; for example, a passive woman can use the as-if principle to "try on" the behavior of male-like assertiveness. Our anima/us and our partner are of the same gender, so our understanding of our anima/us helps us to understand our partner; conversely, our understanding of our partner helps us to understand our anima/us. We seek a balanced relationship with the anima/us; we allow its expression, but we retain our gender identity so that the anima/us will not overwhelm us (thus, creating a macho woman or an effeminate man).

Learning about the anima/us within our partner. We look for the presence of the anima/us, to see how it influences our partner and our relationship. Because we are the same gender as our partner's anima/us, we can be a role model to help our partner in expressing this contrary part of himself or herself.

Learning about our partner: We dismiss the archetypal projection with its universal qualities; instead, we discern the individual's unique qualities -- the unique needs, quirks, history, and personality. We discover this individuality by listening carefully to the person's statements, and closely observing his or her behavior. This is not an archetype; this is a human being.

The projection process becomes less active. The reason the projection occurred initially was because we weren't utilizing the anima/us inside; the energy and image had to be projected outward in order to be recognized at all. But now we see the anima/us within us. (Some projection will continue to occur, because we are never fully aware of all aspects of the anima/us.) Our outer relationships, to an extent, have been mere substitutes for the relationship which we needed with the anima/us. We continue to need relationships with both our anima/us and with people of the opposite gender; some contemporary women are trying to become free and strong by creating a relationship with their animus instead of a relationship with a man. However, this can lead to problems internally and externally: the women might experience an overdevelopment of the animus, and a disturbance in relationships with men.

In reading the article, I believe a spirit lover and the anima/us is close.  Could it be that they are one and the same?  I don't know for sure, but I don't think so.  I think they "feel" so similar that it could be a misconception.

What do we do in that our spiritual lover is almost identical to our anima/us (or we have doubt that they are the same)?  We love them.

There isn't anything we do different:  We love them for whomever they show us to be like.  I believe, regardless of what psychology empirically says, that loving our anima/us as a lover (even if she manifests as a succubus or spirit lover) bring growth, understanding, love, respect, and difference.

There is no change necessary, there.

That last part of the text seems true of many who have a spirit lover as well.  I tend to disagree that it is a problem, however.  Perhaps they mean a problem that affects society.  That could be true.

My relationships with other women have become better as a result of having a spirit lover:  The difference is that none of those relationships are sexual or romantic anymore.  Relationships are relationships, however, and improvement is improvement.  I would call having better relationships with women in general a very big plus in my life today.

If women forgo men to lean on their animus?  Good.  My hunch is that once they become close and loving to their own selves through their animus, a better match for who they will have grown to be will come, whether physical, spiritual, or both.  One based upon a higher form of love, and not one of utility, but of spiritual growth, respect, and satisfaction in both being loved as an individual, and not for what they provide.

To me, not having a sexual or romantic relationship with a woman isn't a burden.  I've grown spiritually so much so that my family and friends can't understand what happened or where it's coming from.  It's coming from love... love always makes a way it seems.

Now.  Another thing:  I have a degree in metaphysics, not psychology.  This is psychology.  Metaphysics is under the umbrella of philosophy.  In practice, where psychology ends, metaphysics begins.  So I can only "guess" how this would apply metaphyscially.  There's no "science" to it, only my own personal opinions and hunches.

The disadvantages to becoming to close to one's anima/us could be true.  But I don't think so.

I think it's uncharted territory (that of spirit lover matching anima/us close than what humans usually do, at least for the majority of people in "good enough" relationships out there).

But in all truth?  I have no fucking clue.  My hunches tell me that it's not only uncharted territory, but that it ends two ways, which beg to be spoken.

Spirit lovers, end result of having them (in most cases):

1)  Personal growth at an unprecidented scale, hyper-acceleration of the person spiritually.  A mind wide open to possibility, a different perspective of the world and the universe and everything with it, etc. <-- Happens most of the time.


2)  The person pines away, unable to get past the "addiction" stage (which is very much like a drug addiction), drops out of society, becomes paranoid, ruination of self by self.  People don't understand how addicting sex with a spirit is.  It's fucking liquid crack.  Some succubi/incubi aren't real merciful nor give a fuck that they are the crack and that the person can't handle it.  <--- Happens sometimes.

I keep saying that spirit lovers are like us:  Some are good, some are bad, and everything in between.

Just like us.

Always some truth to the old myths:  Like a siren calling sailors, I guess.

Anyway, that's the way I see it.

As far as from the article (that being too close to one's anima/us is unhealthy), I disagree.

As far as disadvantages personally, perhaps the downside is a goodbye to being normal.  My response to this is thus:

People laugh because I'm different.  I smile because they are all the same.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander, though:

If God/dess has a woman growing as I am and puts us together one day?  So be it.  If I do end up with a woman because of the will of Godd/dess (and knowing the irony of the Godd/dess), I bet the woman in my future has an incubus so that Bunny falls in love, too :)

Make sense now?

I'll leave you with a powerful poem I found while searching.  It is naked, it is primal, it is sorrowful, it is as harsh as life itself.  It practically bleeds at a soul level:

Last Love


To my daughters I need to say:

Go with the one who loves you biblically.
The one whose love lifts its head to you
despite its broken neck. Whose body bursts
sixteen arms electric to carry you, gentle
the way old grief is gentle.

Love the love that is messy in all its too much,
The body that rides best your body, whose mouth
saddles the naked salt of your far gone hips,
whose tongue translates the rock language of
all your elegant scars.

Go with the one who cries out for her tragic sisters
as she chops the winter’s wood, the one whose skin
triggers your heart into a heaven of blood waltzes.

Go with the one who resembles most your father.
Not the father you can point out on a map,
but the father who is here, is your home,
is the key to your front door.

Know that your first love will only be the first.
And the second and third and even fourth
will unprepare you for the most important:

The Blessed. The Beast. The Last Love,
which is, of course, the most terrifying kind.

Because which of us wants to go with what can murder us?
Can reveal to us our true heart’s end and its thirty years
spent in poverty? Can mimic the sound of our bird-throated mothers,
replicate the warmth of our brothers’ tempers?
Can pull us out of ourselves until we are no longer sisters
or daughters or sword swallowers but, instead,
women who give and lead and take and want
and want and want and want,
because there is no shame in wanting.

And you will hear yourself say:

Last Love, I wish to die so I may come back to you
new and never tasted by any other mouth but yours.

And I want to be the hands that pull your children
out of you and tuck them deep inside myself until they are
ready to be the children of such a royal and staggering love.

Or you will say:

Last Love, I am old, and have spent myself on the courageless,
have wasted too many clocks on less-deserving men,
so I hurl myself at the throne of you and lie humbly at your feet.

Last Love, let me never roll out of this heavy dream of you,
let the day I was born mean my life will end
where you end. 

Let the man behind the church
do what he did if it brings me to you. 

Let the girls
in the locker room corner me again if it brings me to you.

Let this wild depression throw me beneath its hooves
if it brings me to you. 

Let me pronounce my hoarded joy
if it brings me to you.
Let my father break me again
and again if it brings me to you.

Last love, I have let other men borrow your children. Forgive me.

Last love, I once vowed my heart to another. Forgive me.

Last Love, I have let my blind and anxious hands wander into a room
and come out empty. Forgive me.

Last Love, I have cursed the women you loved before me. Forgive me.

Last Love, I envy your mother’s body where you resided first. Forgive me.

Last Love, I am all that is left. Forgive me.

Last Love, I did not see you coming. Forgive me.

Last Love, every day without you was a life I crawled out of. Amen.

Last Love, you are my Last Love. Amen.

Last Love, I am all that is left. Amen.

I am all that is left.



Issue #2.  I have a fucking crown on my head.  Or a circlet.  Or a hat.  Or horns.  Or a propeller hat. Or a dunce cap on my head:  Problem is I feel it, but when I look in the mirror or touch my head there's nothing there but my hair.

Take more meds, right?

Nah, this is a phenomenon that I've been chasing, but the answers are vague.  Here's some stuff I've gathered here and there.  I'd leave links for each, but honestly I'm hungry and want to go eat.  Hey, we all have our lazy days.

"Spiritual information will often be communicated to you through your physical senses and feelings.

If you’re like many spiritual seekers, you’ve likely already felt a tingling sensation at the top of your head. This is the area known as the crown chakra, and it is the main energy center used to connect with the Divine to receive divine frequency, and guidance.

Feeling tingling sensations in your crown, third eye chakras, or even in your hands is a common spiritual symptom, which occurs as these energetic centers are opening further to make the connection with spirit."

Oh yeah, my 3rd eye has been numb, too.  I actually had a dream of the Bunny about it once:  She had me in Elsewhere (so I was in sleep paralysis laying down) and she unfurled her finger from her hand all white and beautiful and glowy like, and touched my 3rd eye and BAM, jolted awake.

What was that about?  Anyway, she often comes and the first thing she does is feel at the spot just above the center of my eye brows which either does nothing, tingles, or goes numb.  I think she's trying to open it (it's tingling now lol), but maybe it's a multi-step process (or futile.  50/50).

Seriously, the 3rd eye tingle/numb cycle has been happening for about 2 years or so.  The "feeling of wearing a circlet" thing has been about the last year(ish).

Anyway, back at it:

"You can experience activity at the crown of your head (top). This can be tingling, itchiness, prickly feeling, and crawling sensations along your scalp and/or down your spine. Feel a sense of energy vibrating at the top of your head, as if something is erupting from within or the sensation of energy pouring in through the crown, described as "sprinkles". This may also be experienced as pressure on the crown, as if someone is pushing his/her finger into the center of your head."

"The most common of these symptoms, which happens after you achieve a change in vibrational signature, and often happens after Ascension Sessions, or after Ascension Meditations, is a feeling of space out dizziness, nausea after eating toxic foods, sensitive skin, "burning" sensation at the crown chakra, feeling of band around head, and ecstasy. These will pass after a few hours or days and are simply the bodies getting used to the new vibrational level."

"During the ascension process there is a lot of activity occurring in the crown chakra, and third eye chakra, and these symptoms can often manifest on the physical level as strange sensations within or around the head or face. The headaches may be accompanied with sinus issues or the head may feel sore or heavy. Many describe the head or skull pressure as if something is squeezing their head tightly or as if their head is 'filled with energy'."

Oh, FINE I'll post links.  Bunny is making me feel guilty.  Lol, now that I'm going to post links I can feel she's appeased.  Sure wish I could see her.  At least I know she's pretty because my daughter has seen her.  But all I can do is imagine.

It's funny, isn't it?  You marry in this world, and someone marries you and it takes a lifetime to know who the person is inside (and them to know you).  You get a succubus and you can feel her inside, but it probably takes oh, I dunno, when I'm finally old and dead to see her outside.  Meh, better can feel her beauty inside than outside, but I'd love see/feel everything about her you know?

Oh alright, links (Naaaaaaaaag.  It also helps to know how far you can sass your succubus.  Which is important with a succubus because she's like a conscience who can withold sex.  Lol.).

"Don't sass the succubus", she says.  Here's the links that the quotes are from:

^I love you, bunny :P