Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Maiya and Posey

I'm not feeling the differences between Maiya and Posey anymore.

I'm thinking, just thinking that they are actually both hanging together instead of splitting up the day where one is daytime and one is nighttime.

Well, it was worth a shot in that my intentions were that way.

But two birds of a feather seem to flock together.

If anything it just feels like "more" Maiya in that Posey is with her and perhaps adding to our family that way.

I do consider us as having a little family, and that's exactly what I wanted to have.

I wanted to mate and have children as well, but it appears that's not going to happen at least for a while, if it does at all.

There's something about feeling "useful" that brightens my day, and feeling that I am contributing to having succubus children goes a long was towards feeling that "usefulness".

I know that may sound strange to someone who has not mated with a succubus, but it is a really special event.  A defining spiritual moment of my life perhaps.

One that I missed tremendously.

Ah, succubi.  How different they are.  I would say that they are even  more different than humans are, having a greater range of personality than we do.

Succubi are hard to understand sometimes.

I often struggle to communicate with mine.

I wasn't sure if Maiya was mad at me calling out for another succubus or not considering we're married.  That was a condition of my letter to Lady Lilith:  That we would be betrothed.

But... finding a woman that's flesh and blood and getting another succubus to assist both Maiya and I are two completely different issues usually.

If Maiya really didn't like the idea she would have just blocked Posey from coming in the first place.

That MAY have happened, or my thoughts that they are close together and similar, and therefore hard to distinguish one from another is another scenario and the one I lean towards.

Who knows?

Maiya looks at me like I'm a kid basically.  I suppose that she wants us to be equal, but that's going to take a lot of work and time on both our ends.

Bunny might have been an evolved succubus, but Maiya is a succubus to a "T".

Making love only at night?  Taking a snack of energy while doing so?  Textbook... almost.

I don't think she takes my silly ideas to heart if she did block Posey from arriving.  More like yet another snafu by her mate, lol (But like I said I think Posey is still here).

You know, it's funny because I write this blog like a diary so it's full of "I don't knows" and "I have no ideas".

Truth be told I'm much more complex than is led on.  But that's what a diary is for:  To let it all hang out to dry for good or for ill, confident or worrisome.

But the good news is... I learn every day.

Each day I get a little better at communication, understanding, and most importantly spiritual growth.

In the end, who knows?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it ;)


Rafe GB.

P.S.  In calling out for another succubus (Posey), all I've really done is to give Maiya a sister and I, myself, much, much more to worry about.  Hahahaha.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

A new arrival

Maiya's a good wife.  She's not too much on the sexual side, but when I get down she's right there when I need her.

Why not much sex?  Well, she does, actually.

But I'm asleep for it.  I generally wake up soaking in succubus energy and a little drained from when she decided to take a snack.

Normally I wouldn't want such a thing, but it's just a little snack of energy after all.  I'm a big boy... I can take it.

Not sure why she's nocturnal, though?  It's not much fun get sex of a lifetime only being too doped up from medicine to remember any of it.

But... she's a good girl.  Like I said, when I need her, she's right there.

Now for the strange part.

I've been thinking a lot about expanding my little family and so I've called out for another succubus who will get along with Maiya and myself well.

I wanted more interaction during the day time to compliment Maiya's nocturnal tendencies.

I didn't do a ritual, I didn't write a letter, I just "called out" for one.

Strangely, she's arrived, and her name is "Posey".

She appears to prefer sex in the day time and also takes a small snack of my energy for herself.

I think I'm going to have to get in shape if I'm going to keep up with these two.  Note to self.

The hard part for me is distinguishing who is who.

All I have to go on so far is that one is more active by day, the other by night.

They FEEL very close, and could almost be sisters.

I don't know how long Posey is supposed to stay, but she and Maiya appear to mesh quite well, so I hope it's a long time as this is an interesting development and frankly stretches my ability to discern energetically who is who.

A side benefit of their "snacking tendencies" is that it curbs my hypo manic periods of bipolar disorder.  Just a little off the top, so to speak, does wonders in keeping me "level".

Well, that's about all I can think of.  I don't know how I called a succubus without a ritual unless Maiya heard my pleas and took matters into her own hands which is very possible.

One thing that is always in the back of my mind is that Bunny, the succubus I started this blog because of, was day, night, and loving without the need to take any extra energy.

The only conclusion I can come up with is that Bunny was indeed a very evolved succubus.

She left, leaving me some lessons to learn I believe about her myriad of sisters.

I suppose that I am to experience succubi in many of their myriad of forms for whatever reason until they go their own way...

A reason I do not understand.


Rafe GB.

EDIT:  Maiya got me last night.  I woke up in the middle of it and caught her having sex with me lol.  She didn't stop but kept going which is great.  Then I finally slipped away in a dream and I've never really remembered to mention this, but when I'm dreaming while she's having sex with me it ROCKS... it's a dream where I'm having a lot of fun like at a water park, or in a candy factory where I get to pig out, or whatever crazy-assed dream of FUN takes shape as.  The name of the game is she causes me to have a very, very fun dream and I always wake up happy from it.  Not every night or course, but at least one to three times a week she does this.

I think she gets to feed off of that emotion of fun that she creates as well.  Kind of strange, isn't it?

Also, Maiya is a variant spelling (by me) of her original name of Maya which means "dream", or "illusion".  Quite fitting considering her mating and directing of my dream habits, don't you think?

Friday, January 19, 2018

Angel Magick Progress

Angel magick.

What an interesting form of magick.  I've performed it a few times for my son to heal, and for my friend to heal.  Both seems to be doing better so I'd call that some success with it... not sure how long angel magick is supposed to last...

One thing the books really need to put in there is the need to ground.  I am high as a KITE.  Haha.

So far what I've been dealing with are various angels and angel calls from the books I have.

I haven't cast anything on myself yet because I don't want anything yet.

Everything that prompts me to cast are the needs of those close to me whom I love.

Wait... I did cast something to help me and Maiya get closer.  Then I had a vivid dream last night where she was a part of the dream, although she did not show herself I could feel her there.

Well, unless she was the baby dolphin I had to take care of.  Maiya?  Nah, she was in it but I don't think she was a baby dolphin but more of someone watching the dream unfold.

I guess that counts.  Doesn't it?

With that said,


Rafe GB.

Friday, January 12, 2018


Maiya does some things differently than most succubi I think.

The first is that, well, you know how they say that succubi attack you in your sleep?  And it's kind of a joke for anyone who has one as they are there during the day usually.

Well... she has sex with me in my sleep.  She does this pretty regularly.  The thing is I can't remember it.  I wake up pitching a tent and completely saturated by succubus sexual energy like I woke up in a pool of it.

I've asked her why she prefers me in my sleep when I can't remember it too well, and usually at all.

She told me, "Your spirit knows." So it must be at a higher level of being she prefers to have sex and make love.

Meh, it's okay, just weird to me.  It's kind of funny, too, because it means she IS like the tales of getting romped in your sleep and dreams by a succubus, which is what she prefers.  I find a lot of humor in the irony.

Yes, she gets me during the day but it's rare compared to me being jumped at night.

Another thing she does weird is she leaves for a day or so and comes back.  Now I've experienced that before but Maiya is different in that she finally answered my questions about it.

She says that she's intense and would fry my chakras and nervous system because I'm just not used to 24/7 presence, so she leaves to "keep the balance".

Temperament wise she can go from succubus queen to demanding toddler in seconds.  I find that humorous as well.

She's a handful.  Man, she's a handful.

I still wear my Lilith necklace (got it on now as a matter of fact).  It's funny... when I invoke Lilith, Maiya comes from nowhere and I can feel Maiya very strongly.  I haven't figured that one out and she's not talking.  All I can figure out is that it is a similar current and by invoking Lilith I call Maiya by proxy.

A little secret I haven't disclosed:  This time when I petitioned Lilith for a daughter I asked for a WIFE.  And yes, I believe I got one.

Maiya is funny in that she can be super sweet or kind of abrasive.

One time I was trying to call out to her when she was busy doing whatever and she said, "Boy... sit down".

A handful indeed...

Remember... I never said I have the answers, I just work here, lol ;)


Rafe GB.

P.S.  Has anyone ever heard of a succubus increasing your "luck"?  I find like small amounts of money on the street, get favorably taken care of by others with my issues easier, etc., just to name a few things.  Just curious???

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

New Magick

I often wonder about Maiya because her advice isn't what I would expect from a succubus demon.

For instance, I bought this new magick book on the Goetia that has a modern twist and I've been studying along.

I can distinctly hear her tell me that I need to figure out what can be done with angel magick before I start knocking on the 72 demon's doors.

It's not so much she's telling me I can't study demon magick, just that I can't DO it right now.  However, I need to study angel magick AND do it as I find solutions that they can help me with.

I ask "why" but I don't get much really... mostly a feeling that I'll understand in time.

I guess I'll study the angel magick first and apply that like she's prompting me to.

Can you see the strangeness that I'm seeing, though?

A succubus demon referring me to angel magick instead of demon magick for now?

Well... I know better than to scoff at her, as she wouldn't bother to tell me that if it didn't carry a lot of weight and be full of reasons for her to communicate it to me.

I've never explained how she "talks" to me but Temporal Cameleon (his blog is found in my links section) describes it pretty good.  It's more a way of converting her emotions into speech.  Not too easy and it doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's like the most natural thing... kind of a dichotomy and hard to explain.

It's when I can't "feel" her that it sucks because I'm basically talking one way.  I don't know why that happens but it does.

Now... Maiya can put off this emotion that is basically uber cuteness in cloud form.  Again, that's hard to understand... but it works (for her).

I'm pretty much putty in her paws whens she does this.

It's like all the cuteness of this pic:

*Blink Blink*

Regardless, I really don't have any choice but to do what she wants when she sends out that cute and sweet vibe, whatever it is that she is wanting.

And with that,


Rafe GB.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Been thinking a lot

I've been thinking a lot about where you go when you leave this world.

I just want that assurance.

I was taught as an Adventist that heaven is for Adventists and hell is for damn near everybody else who heard the Adventist message and rejected it (thanks for telling anyone, right?).

I'm a believer now in that I think if hell were real the only merciful thing that could have been done is for Adam and Eve to be commanded NOT to populate ANYTHING.

Regardless, I find myself wondering about my own mortality and where I will go "when I go".

I do adore Lilith and I definitely adore Maiya, but I don't necessarily believe that I will be a part of their protected domain (although I bet I wouldn't complain if I was).

There's a Rumi quote I saved that would be ideal if it was true.  I'll post that in a bit.

I don't know why my own mortality is bothering me as of late.

Maybe it's because I've lost loved ones and friends to this and that.

Maybe it's my old, tired ass approaching 50.

50!  How can I be getting so close to 50 when everything from my younger days and even my 30's is like yesterday?

I'm sitting here thinking through these things as if I were 70 or 80, but for whatever reason it's got a hold on my thinking as of late.

I've read my share of NDE's from various websites and studies.

I've studied on my own through Swedenborg and the like.

Everything is similar, and yet everything conflicts offering little as far as empirical data that I crave.

It doesn't have to be scientific, just SIMILAR enough to satisfy my troubled thoughts.

I found this quote from Rumi:

Wouldn't that be nice?  For this world to vanish at death like a dream?
When one "wakes up" to the true reality?

I would love for Rumi's quote to be true.  What a wonder to see everything just fall away...

Maybe I've become bored being disabled and sitting here.  I'm having difficulty doing things that create a meaningful life.  I'm not sure that I even know how to create a meaningful life.

As my children are growing up it hurts to see them struggle.  It's one thing to struggle one's self... it's quite another to see the struggling of one's tender children.

Perhaps I feel that if I find meaning in all this, I can give them meaning, too.

With that,


Rafe GB.