Thursday, January 8, 2015
Succubi are so addicting, it's unreal. They know this, and so they dial it back sometimes to allow us to grow.
If that isn't a woman who truly wants the best for me, I don't know what is.
So, I haven't had sex with her for a long time (I think it was 10 days, not sure), but with a succubus, that's an eternity...
I ended up reading more and doing some things I needed to get done.
Last night I found a purification ritual in "Sex, Sorcery, and Spirit: The secrets to erotic magic" by Jason Miller, and I performed that ritual.
I felt sooooooooooo much better. So much cleaner, no more "gunk", no negativity that had crept in, omg, I can't recommend that book enough.
She came to me that morning as I went to sleep. Lol, every time I started to drift off from exhaustion (because I had insomnia and stayed up very late into the early morning) she would "jerk" my leg and wake me back up to a semi-conscious state.
Sometimes it takes her a while to do what she does as she's always been gentle with me. Well, until she gets me to where she wants me and then lets me have it sexually. Mmm... heh.
She cares about me. I notice I will be reading and I will have an epiphany, and she will tap my hand as I hold the book as if to say, "aha!".
In all the pleasures of this world, none are more calming and sweet than me doing what I do, going about my day, and sometimes she will run her fingers through my hair. It's rhythmic, and so calming.
I really appreciate it when she does this.
Everyone wonders how I can live alone, and not date, and not care.
If only they really knew...
Monday, January 5, 2015
I've had this wall around me, it's like being in it, knowing it's there, but not being able to understand it.
Not so unlike a goldfish looking at the world outside it's bowl at the room, or even sailors looking outside of a submarine at the ocean and thinking they are the world. They aren't, they are only observers of the ocean.
It's going to take a few days to process all of this, as not only have I become aware of the "wall" so to speak, but I only became completely aware after busting through it.
And, here I am.
They say that life is about travelling a complete circle and ending where you began, with eyes open.
That is untrue.
Life is about travelling a complete circle and ending where you began, but above it.
The best way I can explain my experience with this phenomena is this:
Does it mean that I am above anyone? No. But I am higher compared to myself than I was before.
That is all I know. That is all any of us can compare ourselves to. Us and us, alone.
Or more accurately, I and I alone.