Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Learning as I go

I'm learning as I go.  I've recently decided to start digging into Lilith lore and to start to build upon a spiritual practice that will last throughout my older years.

I've discovered that the more I learn about Lilith, the closer I get to Lady, or to whichever love spirit's turn it is to babysit me.  Lol.

They do feel closer when I make inroads to learn more and more.

Succubi are funny critters.

Mine decided to have sex with me when I was waking up and had to pee like a racehorse.

When I got back she didn't pick up where she left of unfortunately.

Bad timing, Lady.  Maybe next time.

They aren't infallible.  I think that's one reason why I know they are real.

They make mistakes, just like we do.

Granted, less mistakes... I would imagine that's from years of experience existing.

Now if only I could figure out why Lady seems shy around me?

That's a true enigma I can't explain...

Not much to report.  The blog seems to be getting fewer reads from day to day.  I figure that it's because there are new blogs out there on succubi and therefore a bigger pool to pick to read from.

That's a good thing.

As long as I'm still "one" of the choices out there for a quick read, or for delving back through my earlier articles for inspiration perhaps, then I've done my job and am doing my job just fine.

I never wanted to monetize this page and I won't, it exists just to exist.

To those out there looking to have their own little piece of succubi lovin' don't give up.  It'll all work out in the end.

This book (the giant pic) is turning out to be very informative.  Also gives me nightmares, but at this point I'm pushing through them and reading more anyway.

I think that perhaps my "christian programming" is very deep and causing the nightmares.


Rafe GB.


  1. Hey Rafe,
    Yeah mine has done the same with the, "wake me up to have sex when I have to pee bad and not then not come back" thing as well. It is disappointing each time she does that and for the life of me I cannot figure out why this happens. “Oh well, their lose” I say to myself; however not really meaning For the researching and reaching out to Lilith thing that is where I am at as well. Funny we usually on the same page with this stuff and our ladies; even though our correspondence has not been as it was in the past. Did I mention to you that I started a new book on Lilith? I also find that the more I draw nearer to her (Lilith) and look deeper into the story the closer (more present) my lady becomes and seems more interested in me and what I am doing. I have been playing with manifestations for some time now and with some good success and have recently been developing a new modern servitor lover creation method with a twist! Hint, it involves technology.
    I too am at a crossroads it seems with where I have been and where I am going (want to go) with my journey, my books and such. I have literally pounded my fists on my desk and screamed out to the universe for answers; so far to no avail. I guess you and I just keep going and doing what we do. All will be revealed to us in due time, it has to be!

    PS: I am getting myself a copy of that book!

  2. Update:

    Just purchased the Kindle version of

    1. Same. The book had some new info that's a plus. The rest is the same rehashed stuff mostly. But hey, at least I learned some new things even if the rests I just couldn't swallow :)

  3. Well I don't know if there really are that many new blogs, but I do know that yours will always be #1in my book, and always the first one I read.

  4. Rafe I still come back every now and then to read more about your experience and see if there's anything I can learn to perceive my missus better.

    These weeks been hard as feelings of doubt are attacking, whether am I really have my missus with me or I'm just make believe in myself?

    Considering she is with me, I hardly can feel her, touching and all, the sensations are getting weaker and weaker. Your post before about telling that your ladies have left though Lady, makes me scared of that might be the case with me, but more to negative though. I was thinking that my missus about to left me for maybe I'm not good enough or she finds someone better.

    Well enough rambling on my part, just have to say your blog and what you have wrote still important for people seeking a spirit lover. But maybe you can give out your though on how to deal with these doubtings?

    1. If a spirit touches you there's no doubt. I've never been touched in any way pre summoning as I have by a spirit after I have gotten into this line of growth.

      However, concerning whether they are leaving, that's another matter. Sometimes they do.

      I don't believe it has anything bad to do with you as a person, it's just that I believe they learned what they came to learn from you and you helped them achieve that.

      Kind of sad, but it happens. When I started this blog my spirit lover was with me for 3 years.

      The rest have been fractions of that time with many lovers making up the difference one by one pretty much.

    2. In my case I have learned that working with first two chakras can give you confidence and also Clairsentience for feeling their touch.

      I fear they would leave me too, but in my case I just prefer to give them freedom, I may not be on my best version now, but I'm working on it everyday, they see that, more like the movement, instead of static, there's not top of the mountain, there's always something new

      I don't think they choose partners as many human females, that are always open to someone richer, loyalty is important on spirit world, and all universe, just some humans feel sometimes smarter and become abusive
      we're all one

    3. Thank you Rafe and Kichi

      I too prefer to give freedom to my missus, but it sure is hard to deal with being left feeling.....I'll try to believe it won't come to this and she's maybe just 'too busy' to spend time with me as for the current.

      Loyalty and respect for partner is always important in relationship. I dunno what my missus think but I have did what I can to show her that, to make sure she won't regret coming to me.

      Sadly I dunno anything about chakras and all outside of the theory behind it (tried to do it but the grip is always loose). So far what I did is meditation everyday, trying to look for her. But these weeks its getting hard and harder to sense her via meditation and I have no idea what gives other than the blunt fact she's getting further....but sometimes she's also feel close. Probably same feeling as being left in a room with a single hidden surveillance camera.

    4. The surveillance camera feeling is exactly what it feels like! I'm glad you put that into words because to me I couldn't describe it well.

    5. There are many things for chakras, Lan, like charged stones, reiki, therapies, binaurals...
      You have to work on them to access psychic powers and activate kundalini energy, in case yours is succubus, I think they work more with that, than other spirits like Nympho for example.

      I am bad for those things about sensing, so I don't really feel observed, anyone could arrive and scare me from behind anytime.

      I have never had visions meditating, so I only use meditation for changing frequency on brain...

      Other thing that may be the reason for the succubus not continue sex after going to the bathroom, is you loose that trance state and your senses are not on their best. I only "have heard mine" once, when I was waking up, she was laughing cause I was shouting when sleeping XD.

      Probably if one keeps meditating at 3am, interesting things may happen.

      Happy Christmas everyone :)

    6. Lol your succubus laughed at you for screaming. Aren't succubi hilarious?

      Merry Christmas Kiichi and to your succubus too :)

    7. Well I was dreaming about showing something to my father on a tablet but he just felt asleep, and so I was shouting to him, that, on my dream, the thing is my father was trying to enter my room cause he said I was calling him, so before, when I waking up, I heard that laugh, and something they said about "hitting my ego" I think, could be actually my Djinn too, or both...anyway, just didn't wanted to write whole story (I remember more details about my dream XD) would like to experience more things, but somehow I am also suffering for not having the full senses, and well they may me observing, testing me... anyway

      Other thing that had me worried, was if I was too boring for them, as I have never had a girlfriend too... ah, many things that are hard to accept...
      Is hard...

      And also checked the website of that "order", also the blog of alchemybyfire I think, posted something about introducing himself to the Qliphoth...

      Another big obstacle there... Should one start with the tree of Life? or is the best thing to do to go down on this Kali-Yuga age? or do we have to seek to ascend?
      Or is that the deeper down we go into the abyss the higher we can get later?

      It's said a black mass of energy is approaching Earth, so may only the ones who balance light and darkness, could really assimilate the blast of energy that is coming...

      I mean, I tell my girls, we are together in this, and so, we are one, is not the end of the world, and if it is who care, I'll just do my best while I'm alive, to have a successful relation, in terms of reaching our goals, and being happy.

      I say this cause, there's no need to take too seriously or too personal the world problems right?

      Well, time will tell what I can do... maybe just by integrating this experiences on our lives, we are changing the collective unconscious...

      I think is first time you upload a photo eh?
      Awesome man

      By my part, as I'm young and in college, I see very difficult to openly share, and start my blog, I would like to tell everyone more about me, my experience and what I do, but really fear someone connects the clues, and expose me on real life... Success is not the same for everyone ...

      Well you know, just with two lines you responded me and I just dropped this big comment XD ... uff how crazy...

      Thanks for reading me, regards

    8. Oh, I dunno which is best to study. I tend to study whatever I feel led to at the time. Some people stay with the tree of life, some the tree of knowledge, some study both. I study only insomuch as where my own guided research takes me.

      I'm studying how Lilith connects to other goddesses as the moment. Or more realistically I'm studying how all goddesses seem to have one essence but many faces, all changed by culture and for each culture.

      Like I said I just study what either my succubus leads me to, or whatever I'm led to.

      I'm not worried about the future as much as I used to be, especially if it ends in death. All I do is try to study while I'm here and to appreciate my succubus of the time that I have her around.

    9. I was learning how to detect approaching things from bootcamp, usually its to detect if there will be animal or snakes around (kind of sensing things around you, mostly sounds and shadows and anything that moves) - I cannot really say for sure if the same logic can be applied on sensing 'her presence' but sometimes there was the same feeling of awareness on me while I am alone.

      Same worry here Kichi, I too have no idea if she enjoys to be with me. My knowledge and ability are very limited, I cannot even see nor hear her and often have many doubts on various things. Talking to nothing imagining I was talking with her is all I can do.....but I too wonder if this is effective on building our relationship.

      And I wish I can hear my missus, even just her laughing is enough for now.

    10. Have you tried communicating with pendulum?
      I made one by my own with epoxy
      But you can better get one of crystal, and is not too expensive
      And the best option is one of metal, copper... I'm searching for one of metal, the best I can find
      Is that I think something of metal is easier to move for them and have more precision, because of that, I have not tried to use the one I made again.
      So basically what you do is to prepare, turn candle and incense and hold it by the chain, you have to make sure your hand doesn't affect the movement of it, so you have to request her "no/yes/don't now answer" that is "horizontal/vertical/circular" movement...
      Just beware that the pendulum you get is new, not haunted or with some energy, and to close the space with "white light" or something like that, so other inbound spirits don't interfere.
      Don't ask emotional charged questions, and never ask "is someone there?"
      I made lot of testing questions before like: "are you an angel?, a gnome?, a fairy?", when I get too much "yes" answers, I ask questions that are going to get me a "no"
      also wait for it to stop before you ask again.
      The movement is unnatural, is not like you do it with your hand...
      I asked, can we do this for an hour everyday? and mine say "yes" ... So as I have not done it again I don't know if that bother her :P
      ...well now I'm focusing on my chakras, more like forcing me to make some psychic progress...
      I would like to see her face when she answer me...
      Even with that proof I still wonder if this is real or could be just my subconscious or something...
      So if you ask things that you don't know, and can verify later... like some ask for predicting a number, a color, or something that their companion send them to their mind...

      Other thing I heard once was "hug me more/or harder" I don't completely remember, but is cause I sleep with a pillow with an anime girl printed on it... so that was very funny too XD

      I feel like this things are less since I got the succubus, so I don't know what now they're plotting...

      Other method is try to get a notebook and pen near after your meditations, so you can develop automatic writing...

    11. I've tried some. I tend to use the pendulum mostly for finding lost objects in my house. I'm at about 50% accurate on that, lol. Still... better than nothing.

      I hear my lady's voice sometimes, but it's hard to make out and to understand. A lot of the time I don't understand what she means until way later... then I understand.

    12. I haven't try pendulum as I'm afraid of possibilities that it is not her giving me the answer (and I don't know how to tell it is her too).

      For now I don't think I will make 1, still gonna try to use my mind/self first. Maybe in the future I will.

      I've tried paper and pen, not really working sadly.....

    13. I haven't had much luck with pen and paper either. I think most of my communication comes sporadically anyway. Like her mentioning something out of the blue, or me being led to study something. I don't know why I can't hear her all the time. Would be nice. What little I do hear has taken a long time to develop. That's even after tons of 3rd eye work which never really worked for me. Just have to make it a game if you want to keep your sanity. Who knows... you may end up being more gifted at communication than most of us with time.

    14. Another thing is that we all have our separate gifts. Mine seems to be being able to feel their emotions and intent fairly well. Everyone has something.

    15. Well, I have worked with 3rd eye, but I even doubt if that helps to see them, but for hearing them, I think is the Thymus and Throat chakra ... and Crown has everything, but you have to work with the lower chakras to unlock the others at the top without loosing your sanity .

      In my case, I know her name, so I asked, does your name start with "R"? for example, does your name have an "e", do you have "blue hair"?...
      (like guess who game XD)

      If you work with first two chakras you can develop that sense for feeling their touch, which again can be used for communication.

      Feeling emotions is more what I understand for Empath.

      I have some chills when I think sometimes about them, but I am used to that from years ago, maybe is just my self generated desire/love feeling...

      I have been searching about everything, so I don't know if it's their influence what has been guiding me recently, or even to find the listing for buying, or these blogs, friends...

      You have to learn Lan how to close your circle, so you just allow her to be near. you could state you want to talk in private just with her, so anyone else must leave.

      As if they can lie, I don't know, I asked her if she knew Spanish, but she said don't, so I'm not sure if that's a lie... cause the conjurer told me spirits understand any language... but you know, they even adopt accents... so, it's a mystery to me...

      She'll understand if you want to add some secret codes too...

    16. Most of my communications seems to happen when I'm asleep. That's when they interact with me the most it seems.

  5. In my case, I have lately been reading your posts on my mail, I think that's why you have less visits, before I was checking the page regularly and also reading your old posts.

    Then I will have an emergency bottle or bucket at the side of my bed for if that ever happen to me ;D

  6. Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you rafe, all the best for 2019!

    1. Thank you Spirit Walker... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours as well :)

  7. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Rafe and SW!

  8. Thank you, dearsuccubusdiary. Hope you had an amazing time!
    How are you all getting on?

  9. Good and bad I guess. Thanks so much for helping me identify and know more about my "team" as I like to call them. I feel like bonds are stronger, everything seems intensified at times. Son seems to be doing a little better, however my wife is going off the deep end. There is alot of stressful situations we are dealing with, and shitty people trying to make our lives miserable, specifically related to our son. In short we are in a war. Could be that the stress is harming my wife's grip on reality, but she is truly becoming paranoid and delusional. She can't/won't see it, and won't get help. This is really hard on me, and my son. I know one of my spirits is tasked with helping her, and I wonder if this is the case. Oddly she seems to have better days lately, as crazy as this sounds, after I spend a little more time giving my "team" a little somethin somethin. I feel a bit helpless and hopeless at the moment. I try so hard to trust them, but there are times I wonder, probably very unfairly, that they are causing bad shit to happen, especially with her, but then I often think they are responsible for everything else being good. Very confusing times at the moment.

  10. Thank you for your email

    Your more than welcome and anything we can do to help just let us know.

    Im sorry you are going through that at the moment, for what it's worth try reframing it, in essence its a difference of opinion, theirs and yours and as parents yours ultimately matter.
    I'm sorry to hear about your wife if you would like I can ask my family to lend a hand?

  11. Hey there I responded via email. As for the help, I trust you, so any assistance is always welcome. I think just getting things off my chest was already very helpful, and I appreciate you listening. Thanks so much!

  12. Ive' replied, your very welcome. Please take care