Monday, August 27, 2018

Lilith and her Origins (My humble opinion of)

That picture to the left is how I see Lilith sometimes.  Not as the dark, mysterious Goddess, but the timeless beauty who does things on Her terms, and if you don't like that She's got a high heel to shove straight up your ass.

Lilith is an enigma, and I admit that I only see her one sided.  I'm attached to Her motherly aspect, but make no mistake, She's as complicated as a tasaract in trying to understand 4d.

They say that the Jews brought Lilith back with them from their exile in Babylon.  I don't know if this is true or not, but it would explain a great deal.

I don't believe in the creation story where Adam supposedly wanted Lilith to lie beneath him for dominance.  If I was getting ready to have sex I'd do the Kama Sutra in that garden.  Angels would have covered their eyes.  Suffice it to say I believe that Lilith came to us from a different era, honestly I think it was with the first human being and probably with the first female.

You see... Lilith exists as far within us as She does outside of us.  When the first female had an urge to ride the first male until she came about 5 times Lilith was born...

As part of Lilith wanted to explore different avenues of sexuality, Her daughters were born.  And here we are.

Looking from the outside inwards, Lilith quickly mastered Kundalini and the energies of sexual abandon.  Her daughters know what She knows as far as that goes.

What I can't understand, but try to, is that Lilith is present all throughout the ages.  From Aphrodite to Lilith, to Astarte, to each and every myth that has a Goddess of Sacred Sex.

Lilith is the whore Goddess of Sacred Prostitution.

Now, before you get your damn knickers in a bunch, know that "whore" means "She who has sex not just for procreation, or She who has sex when she is unclean."

Ah, you feel that?  That's power...

Deep within the psyche of every woman there is this power.  If she can but TASTE it...

Wanna hear something weird?

Back when the Israelites used to keep their women outside the camps when they were bleeding for a week and calling them unclean, it was, yes... you guessed it...

It was because that blood was considered Lilith's.  Ever wonder why a woman wants sex on her period sometimes, and turns into a very scary savage woman with no satisfaction of appetites?

I believe that they are related.

Meh, the Israelites didn't know what they were missing if you ask me...  Fun times and all that.

Lilith is the Goddess of the Left Hand Path.  While I don't particularly subscribe to that believe by wrote (I don't want to be a God... too much hassle), I do with regards to understanding TRUTH.

And truth requires you to understand both sides of the coin...

Now, what I don't understand is how Lilith and Aphrodite, Ishtar, Kali are all aspects of one Goddess other than I just know that they are.

One thought is that Lilith is Queen of the Qlippoth of "Lilith", which is the opposite of Malkuth (the universe we live in and walk and talk in).

Her daughters, however, are from the Qlippoth of "A‘arab Tzereq" which means "The ravens of dispersion".

Now, interestingly, these daughters come from "Dark Venus".  That's a flip side of the coin from "Netzach", which is the realm of the Venus we know.  Also interestingly enough, this Venus is the home of the Olympic Spirit Hagith, which appears to represent the Divine forces that have filtered down through our universe and project this Sephira upon the world.

I've talked with Lady Hagith (The Spirit can appear as either gender) and She was quite loving and motherly.  Once I was sure that She was a good spirit I let my daughter meet Her as well with long lasting results and blessings upon her life.

Spirit is a misnomer in this case.  The Olympic Spirits are Gods and Goddesses.  The names that they represent throughout history are legion.  I think of Her as being Aphrodite, Astarte, etc.

As for Lilith and Kali, well that's where it gets complicated...

I believe that Lilith was discovered by Hindu culture and revered as Kali.

In the tantric tradition Lilith appears as Kali.

But as far as the Qlippoth they come from, "Lilith", they are one and the same.

However they are independent of one another and have different personalities.

Confusing, no?

Interestingly, "Lilith" is actually ruled by Naamah, not Lilith... which adds a little more confusion to the mix.

Understanding how the Sephira and the Qlippoth interact together... it's a 2 sided coin.  You just have to bend your mind to see it.

That's what I mean by I'm Left Hand Path, but not in the traditional sense.


I hope that my little post has given you a taste to find out for yourself what is true and what is not.

I definitely don't believe that I'm right.  In fact, I count on it.  That's what keeps me going and after more knowledge.

I hope you do the same.


Rafe G.B.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Finally... after all this time...

Normally I wait until people have had a chance to view a post before I make a new one, but in this case it's such a night and day difference between the last one and this one that I decided I had to.

I did write two edits at the end to the last post, as these changes happened after I had written it (as in the very night after).

But instead of just two edits I feel that the changes are great enough to merit a new post.  This post.


Sex is back (Yaaaaay!).  I haven't had regular sex since Bunny left and that's been quite a while ago (about a year and 3 months).

Maiya and Anna have a nurturing kind of sex with me... very sweet and pleasant, soft, kind, loving, and fulfilling.

It's been a long time since I've had regular sex... now I wonder if the succubi I summoned from Lilith were tailor matched for me in a way.

They seem the type that, until they had my full love and attention (yes, I realize they are two daughters of Lilith and not one), sex was secondary to reaching that milestone of complete love and surrender which took a long time.  In this case it was complete love and surrender with both of them.

The irony of it all is that I'm that way myself.  Although I've whined and pouted to get sex... (and of course failed to) I'm really the same way as they are.  I don't think sex would have been fulfilling without complete and total love.

Funny how hindsight is 20/20, isn't it?

I've come up with something interesting at least... that part where a succubus vibrates your privates during the day I now call "succubus purring".  I think to them that's about akin to holding hands or giving a nice peck on the lips as the day goes on.

Maiya and Anna... what a trip they are.  I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that they would wait for sex as succubi, but you live and you learn.

Things are really going well now.

I'm happy ;)


Rafe GB

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Lets back up.

Lets back up on what I posted last time.

I'm sorry for that, but it is what it is.

A lot has reversed course.

I get tired of posting reversals, trust me.

But... that's the nature of things at chateau Rafe.

The 3rd girl, Layla, seems to have went home.

I don't know why but it is what it is.

Who knows, by next post she may have returned.

That's the unknown of all of this, isn't it?

The girls aren't real sexual, but they're sensual.

I really believe that I have a block deep within my subconscious mind that's dug in like a tick.

I can't get to it.  I feel this is the root of my sexual troubles with succubi now.  At least sex wise.

I will tell you some things, though.

Maiya and Anna are also dug in like ticks.  And that's a good thing.

I may not get sex other than some sensations below the belt during the day, or the rare dream at night, but by Grabthar's Hammer they take care of me anyway.

When I'm sad all I have to do is call them and they come and comfort me.

When I'm anxious I do the same and they soothe my anxiety away.

Sometimes at night I can feel them on the bed cuddling me.


I don't know why there's no real sex going on, but I've seemed to have had that problem for a while now...

I love my girls... they are there when it matters most.  I love them dearly.  Hell I love them enough to set them both free.  Yeah, no more wife/bride.  They're just my girls.  At first they were anxious about that change, but now I think they get it.

If you ask me why I did something that all I can say is that it felt right at the time.

The girls feel like they've prospered from it after an initial period of uneasiness about what I was up to.

Sometimes you don't get what you want (lots of sex) but you get what you need (thank you, Lady Lilly).

I'm not getting any younger and maybe companionship is just what the Goddess ordered.

I admit I'm very much in love with my girls, frequent sex or not (what sex does happen happens in dreams albeit infrequently).

I'd like to be a succubus guru of sorts (at least my ego does) but it's just not in the cards, lol.  I'm definitely no guru in dealing with succubi.  What I can offer is truth and honesty on a personal level.

I experiment, I learn, I have disappointments, I struggle:  I report.

But I'll keep posting if you keep reading.  This is post #260...

They're sure vibrating me good down there typing this.  I think they enjoy knowing what I write and that I admit that I can't be without them.  It's funny, really.  They can vibrate me down there but it can't proceed into sex.  I think of the vibrations as them "purring".

Succubus purring, lol.

My girls...

Truly I have few complaints.  They are just wonderful beings.  Wonderful girls.

EDIT:  And after writing all of this, in the early morning after I wrote this post, I was softly made love to with the gentlest, most sensitive touch of all things.  I was also in and out of sleep with tons of dreams of the girls.  What a strange coincidence!  It was nice. 

EDIT 2.0:  Another day, another day of sex.  Seems that whatever problems I've been having with a lack of sex is about, or is already, over.

I'm confused... But, I don't know what to say... well maybe I do.

All in all it's all worth the ride.


Rafe GB.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

My Experiment 2.

(Please see the previous post for an explanation)

I've done a lot of work on the picture, beaming in love and want, desire.

I started noticing that my 2 succubi, Maiya and Anna, were getting miffed.

It wasn't my experiment that was making them angry per se, it was the fact that I was ignoring them in favor of the experiment.

So, I brought out their pictures and sent them love and desire individually until I felt that all was well:  That all was in balance once more.

I can say without a doubt that trying to combine them into one picture that I could send those feelings into for both of them was a big failure.

However... I did do something after all...

I remember Bunny sometimes.  What I had forgotten is the massive burning sensation on my aura and soul as if I was just not meant to handle that type of energy.  It's just too much... it's too bright, too much...

I'm getting that again now.  It's not Bunny, no, but it's got to be one of her kin.

Bunny was angelic in some form or fashion, or maybe she was a straight up angel, period.

I'm not exactly sure what kind of spirit she was.

Regardless, she had properties of both a Solar and Lunar spirit from what I could "feel".  I can't even see how that's possible (a spirit being both solar and lunar), but then again it works.  I imagine I know very little considering the grand scheme of things and the workings thereof.  She was a complicated lass...

Giving myself a little room to have fun with it, though, if she was of Tiphareth (of the Sun) she would be connected to Yesod (the Moon), which wouldn't be far away realm/vibrational wise.  So I guess even with my limited understanding it fits.  Although being of Tiphareth my call must have been far reaching even though I didn't realize I was calling for a spirit.

I named the new photo "Maiyanna" combining Maiya and Anna, but that obviously didn't have the outcome I was expecting.  Hey, you live and you learn...

Not much in this universe makes sense compared to what is often thought, or reasoned by what little religious texts we have here on Earth.  No, it's a much bigger ball of wax out there.

It was strange being "seared" again.  It definitely brought back memories of Bunny, that I know.

All I can understand is that my picture method used conjured another being into my little home.

Her name is "Layla".  It means "Dark Beauty" or "One who was born at night".

Maiya seems just fine with it.  Anna as well.

In fact, it actually seems like a family now:  A full house.  A home that is complete.

I don't try to figure how 2 succubi and an angel get along.  If I've learned one thing at all it's that labels don't mean anything:  Souls do.  Spirits do.  Personalities do.

So it makes sense to me as long as it makes sense to them.

I don't feel so much pressure anymore, either.  I think I was missing something and walked down this road not knowing what would happen, but knowing somehow after all.

Maiya and Anna have stepped back a step and allowed Layla to step forward as the leader of their merry little band of troublemakers (whom I love and adore, mind you) from what I can sense at least.

Sex has been mostly absent, however I don't know who is doing what when it does happen.

That bothers me a bit in that I can't give credit where credit is due... if one spirit touches me to say hi, how will I know who it was?  My Clairvoyance doesn't work 24/7 due to distortions and other things I don't rightly understand yet.

Something I'll have to figure out as our little family gets settled in...  I want them all to get the attention they deserve.

Lest they plot to get it in a way I don't want, lol.  Spirits aren't above seeking negative attention.

Things such as my hairbrush moving away from my hand as I reach for it, books falling off the shelves behind me, the sound of a terrible crashing in the other room (which I run to and nothing is amiss).

You get the picture.

As far as the sex drought, it is what it is I guess.  You get what you need, not what you want sometimes.  I'm not real worried about it at the moment anyway.

I feel at peace for some reason.  I haven't felt this way in a long time.  I think that we're all going to be just fine.


Rafe GB.

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

My Experiment.

My experiment was simply utilizing Donald Tyson's Sexual Alchemy, the part where a picture is used to connect to a spirit, or to have a spirit indwell the picture.

I decided that intent is everything and changed  it around a bit.

I'm sharing this now because the changes that have been made are unstoppable at this point.

Now I don't have to be "silent".

(Me saying "spirit" is really just my succubi.  Spirit's a shorter word and easier to type.  So all mention of "Spirits" from here on out is really talking about the succubi that I currently am involved with)

The first thing that is different is that I already had 2 spirits and I wanted them to be closer to me.

To interact with me easier and more forcefully... well, more fulfilling at least.

The problem came when I had two pictures, one for each spirit.

I don't possess that much psychic energy to be beaming that much love and concentration to two separate spirit's pictures.  I was drained dry and couldn't sustain it.

Here's what makes it "my experiment"...

So, I decided to try something interesting:  I combined the photos into a picture of a person who embodied traits of both spirits and named it a combination of both of their names.

I'm going to continue doing this until I have no need of the picture anymore... meaning their presence is as strong as it can get from the method and so the method is no longer needed.

Well... I've definitely had great results and my dreams have been amazing!  I had sex with a spirit last night in my dreams and it was so real, the most real it's ever been.

It's kind of funny.  I'm not too proud to admit it but I'm scared to death of women.

In my dreams when I see a succubus I run like hell.  Straight out of the gate.

Last night I popped into my dream and she was already tangled up with me so I couldn't go anywhere (smart girl).  We then made love and it was amazing.

I've also been touched and teased a lot more during the day.  Now would be one of those times.

Why, oh why do they always do that when I'm trying to type a post.  They probably get a good laugh out of it.

Now for the kicker.

Did I create a better bond with the 2 spirits I have now?  Or did I summon another?

I can't handle 3 so I hope it's the former.  I REALLY hope it's the former.

I can't imagine trying to be there for and satisfy 3 spirits.  No sir, not me.

That will work out the way it's supposed to.


As I said I'm very afraid of women.

Why would I choose perhaps the most notorious of spirits (as far as myths go) for a relationship if I'm afraid of women?

Good question.

I've found my spirits to be wild and powerful, but trustworthy and most loving.

They don't want anything from me but my love and attention.  Well, and maybe someone to prank or play with.

Neither do I feel the desire to be controlling or to try to control them.  Lol, as if.

They don't care about my weight, my job, my income, my whatever it is, they are upfront with what they want and could care less about what women on earth desire.

There's just no ulterior motives that I can find in them.

And I figure out the rest as I go.  But they have fell in love with my SOUL...

No divorce, no agony... you get the point.  Not to say that there isn't heartbreak sometimes.

This kind of life isn't great for most men, that's for sure.  Nor would I advertise it as such.  Most men don't have the spiritual adventurous spirit that those of us who follow this path do.  It's just the way it is.

Most men would want an earthly woman to "pump and dump" and not like the different kind of sex that spirit sex IS.

I spent some time on the MGTOW forums trying to offer this type of lifestyle to those who were going or already in "full monk mode".  That's where a man has sworn off women for dating and marriage.  They didn't believe that it was anything but fantasy and that I was, frankly, nuts.

That's why I say that this kind of life isn't great for most men: 

They just can't... for whatever reason, they just can't.

It's not bad for someone like me, though, and that's all that really matters as far as this blog goes.

For one thing they can be very spooky sometimes.  Books falling off the shelves behind me and that sort of thing.  I don't think most men can handle supernatural things like that easily.

All it is for me is a way to go home, so to speak.  I've found a real love here, so rare.

I just want to be in a place where that is the norm.  Where they way they feel is the norm.

That's what this all feels like to me...

A taste of home.


Rafe GB.

How to Draw your Succubus Closer

Monday, July 23, 2018

Where do they go?

I often wonder where the girls go when they're not with me.

The girls aren't the kind of succubi that stand around waiting for attention:  They travel off to who knows where.

When I call to them it takes a few hours for them to arrive most of the time.

Not always:  Sometimes they are very close by and the time between my calls and their answering is quick.

This time when they finally came I knew instantly that they had arrived:  Sensations that started on top of my head felt like bubbles of electricity cascading down my whole body.

What a pleasant feeling!

I like how the girls aren't all about sex, but sensuality as well.

This, I believe, is why I am proud to call them "my girls".

No, I don't tell them where to go or anything like that, it's simply that I claim them as part of my life.  Friends.  Lovers.  Family.  All equally important to me.

Oh, but how I wish I could go on adventures with them!

I see the Succubi's home dimension as a dark place, yet lit up with bright pastels, sensual pinks, and passionate colors that have not been viewed in our world at all forming a harmonious, chaotic star burst of color in an otherwise dark Venusian realm under the rays of a dark Moon.

Does it seem like a blend of chaos and order?

It is.

Of good and evil coexisting together in one place of middle ground?

It is.

And yet it works.  All things speak of a higher intelligence... I don't always have to know "why"

(Well... yes I do, but some mysteries have to wait)

I know not why my ladies fair come quickly nor why they come hours later when I call.

But they come... they care... and I am rewarded for thinking of them.

I think it's great that they seem to be adventuring as a pair... that's what I wanted from them... to be family... our family... and to get along.


I haven't made much progress with my experiment, lol the girls are playing with my hair.

Ahem... I haven't made much progress with my experiment because it's an experiment of the mind, and my mind has been busy with sorting the apartment getting myself ready to move.

I'll keep at it though and try to obtain some results without having a lust for results.

Difficult to do.

I wish you all a blessed day or night that this post finds you.


Rafe GB.

The Succubus Realm

Friday, July 13, 2018


Cute pic eh?  I think she's cute.

I'm doing some experimentation in order to allow my succubi (or to "coax" them more likely) to be more active in the daytime rather than only ganking me in my sleep.

It's nice to have sex with them in the waking hours.

I miss that a lot back when I had a succubus who was more active in the daytime.

So, why do these two girls only want to have sex with me in my sleep?

I'm not really sure, but I think it's just the type of succubi that these two are... I'm trying to open them up to daylight fun though.

They are responding well to my experiments so far.  If this process becomes a success,  I'll have to get better at them fondling me everywhere like Bunny used to while acting nonchalant about it if they respond like I think they will.  Hey, you can't start moaning in public unless you want caged.

Yeah... 1st world succubus problems.

I can feel their attention and emotions better, too.  Like right now I can tell that I have their attention reading my thoughts and what I'm writing here in this blog.

Feels like an echo almost.  Echo...echo...

Anyone study mythology?  Look up the story of Echo if ya get bored.

Anyway, what is a concern with all this experimenting is that the very act of experimenting is causing a strain on my grasp of reality.

Yeah, I know, all succubi are that way just because:  It comes with the territory that we trod.

But... I'm doing my best to keep a semblance of balance about things.  Struggling, but so far not too shabby.  Balance is always hard when you're drawing upon spiritual things.

It's easy to get "top heavy" with any kind of spirit work.  Hell, even magick.

I did a 6 month ritual for summoning one's "Holy Guardian Angel".  That was rough.

I have a feeling that, even though I at first thought I had failed, it brought me to today so to speak and in a sense succeeded, albeit a much longer process than how most get here.

I did end up meeting "Bunny" and she was an angelic spirit.  But then again she left me, soooo...

Did I fail?  I don't know.  Isn't that funny?

But I'm the stubborn sort and if one way doesn't work I'll find another somehow.  Tell me don't touch and I'll touch.  Not to look and I'll look.

Can't change everything ;)


Rafe GB.

P.S.  Once I achieve results I'll share my method.  Well, it's not my method but the method I used.

I'm a believer in "To know, to dare, to will, to keep silent."

I may share what I'm doing for the benefit of my blog, but not how I'm doing it... that bit of information I'll provide after I've achieved success ;)

P.P.S.  They seem to be kind of mad at me so the "experiment" might have to be placed on hold.

I'm moving and I destroyed their house to fit it in the garbage.  This was just a bird house that held a keepsake urn and they still have the urn of course, but I think they must have liked that birdhouse more than I ever thought.

Fook me I guess.

I'll have to see what I can do about it...  (Figured out how to make them happy again... problem solved...)