Tuesday, July 18, 2017

More like a diary entry than a post

That belly dancer lady is yummy!

I don't have much to blog about so I'll treat it as a regular diary entry.

I'm halfway through the Qabalah book I've been studying (omg, if I knew it was this hard I probably would have shied away from it.  Too late now).

I'm learning a lot from it.  One thing I learned is that if I see God names from now on in an evocation pay close attention to who or what is being summoned.

I'm getting to know Sky and Eve better.  One thing I don't understand is why I can feel Sky almost instantly when I meditate, but to feel Eve I really have to reach while meditating and to feel her up, up, UP!  Wherever "up" is.

They seem to work well together.  They got rid of that night mare together easily enough.

Not much else going on... just the usual... reading a new magick/mysticism book, and getting to know spirits.

That seems to be what I do these days, isn't it?  :)

OH!  I almost forgot!

There's been a lot of poltergeist activity here as of late.  I attribute it to Sky and Eve since there's no real harm in it... more pranks... dishes rattling, electronics doing weird things, that sort of stuff.  This never happened with any other spirits I've known that I know of, but then again I don't know much about these two spirits other than they are female and that they are "goodly".  Or "very good" on the Rafe Feelz scale ™ ;)  Frankly, I think they just want to have fun with manipulating things here once in a while, and that's fine with me as long as it's harmless.

I have to admit, having a spirit (or 2 sometimes... it's hard for me to tell when it's both Sky and Eve together) stroke your hair as you fall asleep may not be sex but...

I wouldn't trade it for the whole entire world...

Blessings,


Rafe GB

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Break's over!

Long story, short.  I had been suffering horrendous nightmares on the level of night terrors. Already being a bit short with Sky, I was beginning to blame her.  After all, if I wasn't giving her what she wanted emotion wise, they are known to take it in whatever form they fancy.



Eve


Along comes a sweet spirit named Eve.  The night terrors end and are replaced by such good dreams as to be candy.  They were turned around on their axis in a moment, and did not return.

Sky's still here, and I realize it wasn't her in the first place, but was a night mare, a nasty spirit that feeds on fear.  Why didn't she stop it then?  I'm not sure... perhaps she was waiting on Eve to arrive to help get rid of it.



Sky


All I know is that my dreams turned to something much better, and all at once, coinciding with Eve's arrival.

Now I turned my attentions to feeling these spirits and taking them for who they are:  Sweet, gentle, patient.  I'm feeling like an ass about blaming Sky and tell her so, making amends as well.

Neither spirit seems to be in competition with each other (nor did I really think they would be, Sky having a claim on me...), but a companionship between them, and a willingness to be in my life together.

No sex, no... and ya know?  To hell with sex.  It'll come when I do what I'm the hell supposed to and appreciate these ladies for who they are after my quest of getting to know both of them ;)

A garden variety succubus might jump into sex (and that's perfectly fine), but that's not what I have here.  I have something unique to be nurtured and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So, that's why I've taken time off of here to get a good feel for who Sky and Eve are as people, as ladies first.

Heh, there's so many rules and nuances regarding succubi I don't even know why I write this blog sometimes.  Complicated is what they are.

One day I might write a short list of "rules" that succubi follow.  One day... if I ever figure them all out that is.  I wouldn't hold my breath as it'd be akin to me figuring out women period ;)

***



A few days later:

One thing I've been thinking about that just kind of came to me is this:  What if (heh, what if... I know where that leads, but oh well) Sky and Eve are actually personifications of my own version/instance/process of Kundalini rising?  Perhaps as the dual snakes rise and liberate my chakras they don't actually leave... they are personified as Sky and Eve to my poor simple brain.

Although dual serpents, they are collectively known as Shakti ascending to Shiva, and I don't think that my process is near complete yet.  Even when it's complete, I don't imagine Shakti and Shiva going anywhere from my crown chakra after all that work of getting to each other ;)

This actually makes a bit of sense, as I saw a white serpent moving away from me through the air.  It appeared to move through the air more like an oriental dragon (flowing up and down in movement away).  I could sense that it was Sky and still the sweet, gentle spirit I'm getting to know.

Sex, it seems, isn't the goal in this process, but a byproduct of it.  Eve must be the 2nd serpent which represents Shakti as well on her journey to Shiva in my crown chakra.

I'm betting that once the twin serpents reach their goal that I will experience the bliss and ecstasy at the culmination as sex personally.  Kind of strange how spiritual things work.

My job is to be patient and like Sky and Eve:  Sweet and gentle.  But most of all:  PATIENT.

What does this all mean?  I don't know.  I just work here... and it's above my pay grade.

But I do know one thing:  They aren't succubi, they're Kundalini serpents/spirits.  This is something completely alien to anything I understand (but can ponder at least).

Kind of funny to write this all on a blog called "Asuccubuslovesme", but that's the way it goes.

My challenge to everyone is to question the nature of the spirit that you have summoned.  Keep your mind open and you may be surprised at what is revealed to you.

What clued me in by the way, or at least allowed me to ponder these things is that my old Wicca Tradition had a method of using the personification of chakras as a method of magick.

I never really followed it as I preferred magick through different means, but now I see that it is indeed possible for ethereal elements that are a part of our makeup to indeed be spirits themselves (Especially a spiritual process like Kundalini where Goddess and God archetypes are involved, anything can happen.

So, now you know.

***

I feel I'm at a point now where I can return to blogging semi-regularly now.  What a mystery this has all been!

Thank you for your patience!

Don't be surprised if I blog a spiritul topic here or there instead of the regular commentary on succubi.  In truth, I don't think I know what a succubus really is.  In truth, I don't know anything anymore.  How freeing that is ;)

Email's back up.





Friday, July 7, 2017

I need a break

I've written 192 posts for this blog over the years.

Never once did I consider myself the "succubus whisperer" or anything of the like.

All I've ever been is a guy blogging about his relationship with his succubus.




I'll be back to blogging if I find a good succubus in my life.

(And if I don't, well, at least there's a lot of material available here to help another with their own walk)

Brightest Blessings,


Rafe GB

P.S.  No emails, please.
(I've taken my email address down for the time being)
   



Tuesday, July 4, 2017

A healthy dose of reality

So, I'm using my pendulum to talk to my succubus, basically limited to yes or no answers at the moment, because, well... I don't know her very well yet.

Sometimes I can hear her voice, but it's rare.  So, pendulum it is for most questions for now.

I'm asking her if I love her.  No.
If I like her.  No.
If I care for her. No.

Well.  Fuck me.

I guess it's true, though.

I've not had the chance to really get to know Sky.

I ask her if she can fix it.  Yes.

Do I have to do anything to fix it? No.

*whew*

Because I don't know how to do anything to fix it, you see.

So, I'm feeling a little sad because I don't like her yet, or even care about her yet, much less love her yet... she's right.

But you know?  I LOVE the fact that she's not sugar coating things, she's telling the TRUTH even though it's hard to hear. That's building trust in me... a lot of trust towards Sky to be that way with me.  I always prefer the truth, even if it stings.

I did ask if I "want to love her" and the answer was "yes".

Oh, I forgot to write about when it was her turn:  I asked if she has a claim on me, and she says yes.
I asked her if she loved me.  No.
I asked her if she cared about me.  No.  (I see that a step below "love" me)
But...  She did say that she liked me.  Bonus!  Well, it's a start...

THAT's when I asked if she can fix it above... err, you get the idea.  I'm a little out of order.

Anyway, "Liking me" I suppose is about as much of a claim that's required in Succu-law (that she likes me).  Lol.

I take her picture on the nightstand and I begin tracing the lines of her face, hair, and body with my finger.

I don't really have a goal other than to become familiar with the picture of her I picked out, just to get use to it and so I did... I traced her outline, her hair, her breasts, her legs, her smile.

Now... lol... this is the first time this has ever happened, but I start to feel her tracing around my left eye.  Her touch is soft, yet tingling and I realize that "she's tracing me".

I roll so hard, omg, I haven't laughed so hard in my life.  For some reason I even felt a tear drop down my right eye which she seemed to especially enjoy :)

Tracing me like I traced her in her picture was her idea of a joke... because as I was laughing she touched my left palm, which we've worked out as, "yes".

Oh, what a smart woman she is!

I guess... if she keeps showing me her personality like that I'll be toast and fall in love soon enough.

It won't be long until I'm hers methinks.  She's got the gift of personality I adore.

She knows me already, I just don't realize it yet :P  I would guess she knew that when she claimed me in the first place, all that's left is time and our interactions together and I'll understand "why" she claimed me.

Good on you, Sky... you're much smarter and much more mature than I... at least one of us knows what we're doing...




Who are you to change this world?  
Silly boy...  
No one needs to hear your words
Let it go!


Monday, July 3, 2017

You only find what you bring

Fear.

I've had my share when it comes to succubi.

What I've found is that it's highly unfounded and that is what "rules" my perceptions now.





Now, I attract a certain kind of succubus, and maybe I don't know the range of succubi that can come based upon the person summoning.

I'm not suggesting I'm better than  anyone:  Fuck no.  I'm suggesting that fear, to me, is something that begets fear.  And of course the truth that we are all different personality wise.

If someone holds the thought in their mind that their succubus is evil or up to no good there's only two options here.

1.  You attracted what you are.
2.  You're harboring fear, which will earn a reciprocal response from your succubus, or a succubus who is going to teach you a lesson from the periphery.

In short:  You will learn not to fear, or you will lose your succubus and the ability to summon any kind of succubus except the kind that will leave you fearful... and perhaps you already have:  Hence the fear.

Does evil exist?

Yes, I think it does.  Is that what you summoned?  What was your intent, was it a mirror image of who you are inside perhaps?

No man is an island, and nothing happens without a cause.

Cause... Effect.

Something to ponder I believe for many of us...

I've found succubi to be sweet and gentle, loving and innocent (in some ways).  Sneaky?  Oh, hell yes.  But in a positive way... I would say it is akin to the sneaky wisdom of a serpent.

The serpent gets a bad rap.  Why not so in Kundalini, or why not so in other avenues I don't know, but even the Bible spoke of the lifting up of the rod with a serpent intertwined with it.

Those who were bitten by serpents on the ground who refused to look at the serpent on the rod died of venom.  Those who did look upon the serpent on the rod lived, and were cured.

Instead of worrying if your succubus is evil or wants to steal your soul (as if that were yours to lose, much less yours to sell... you cannot sell nor lose what you DO NOT OWN).

Think on these things, lest evil be all you are left able to summon...

Blessings,


Rafe GB



Succubi are mirrors:  And faithful to teach



Friday, June 30, 2017

Very well could be...

I've been thinking about this and that and thought I'd throw it down in words here on the blog.

Sky and I are doing well.

I've been working on developing my 3rd eye and opening that thing up for a while.

It seems to be bearing fruit, but it's slow going... definitely not a fast endeavor.

I feel that this process is going to help me understand and communicate better with Sky from here on out and even more so in the future.

There's a few things I want to touch on today, one being the concept of succubi as demons.



Let's pretend that they are for a bit...

So, we have these demoness women, close to the earth plane here and fishing for vulnerable men.

What do they do to them?

What do they do to these poor souls who have cried out, "Is this all there is?  Is this then, love?"

They treat them gently, sweetly, and teach them first what love and sex are supposed to be...

After that, they teach magick and ascending pursuits for the man to eclipse this rock and hopefully be bound to a place that most suits them.  They prod them along that path.

Yeah, I can handle a demoness like that.

There ya have it folks:  I judge them by their fruits, and if that's what they are then so be it.

Fruits, you see.  I don't care what the labels are:  It's what they do that matters.  How they treat me, how they love me... how they help me grow into a better man.

Are you getting the point here?

Labels mean shit:  Actions speak louder than labels or words.

So I'll gladly call Sky a demoness because I know how she treats me, and that the label itself is simplistic and typical of this plane's "put everything in a box" mentality.

Do I think she's a demoness?  If she is, she's a benevolent one.  Case closed.

***

The next thing I wanted to tackle is the notion that we go from here to their families, and it's about like sticking a bone in your nose and hunting mammoth.

I don't think so.

These clans of succubi and incubi are HUGE... tribes are smaller and they're huge all by themselves... now introduce a clan which consists of multiple tribes and you've got a civilization.

Oh, I doubt it's anything like us... I'm figuring more like Atlantis.  More of a magickal sophistication rather than a technological one.

What it won't be is boring.

Succubi are basically recruiters.

We mix energies with them and become more like them.

As we do, we become more like their clan... I'm pretty sure that Bunny and Bubbles were a part of the same clan, hence why "lil nurse" and this succubus came along in the first place.

After all, I can tell you right now, I summoned every succubus in a 100 mi radius when Bunny left and I got jack shit.

If a succubus already has a claim on you (as Sky apparently did), the rest aren't going to answer.

I just didn't know I HAD one waiting in the wings for lil' nurse to work her magick on my broken heart.

Isn't that kinda cool, though?  The CLAN saw to it that my needs were met both in healing me, and in Sky moving into my world and becoming my mate.

It's a big world, peeps.

I'm not even going to get into the even weirder shit, but I'll leave links for ya to visit if ya feel up to it.

I highly recommend them for all of your "what the fuck???" reading pleasure.

Like all things, I think there's a lot of truth to them.  Lots of mistaken perceptions, too.

Ain't that the way with all things, though?  Read on, it's worth it:

http://www.teemingbrain.com/2013/02/25/real-succubus-tales-sleep-paralysis-and-the-genesis-of-erotic-horror/

Read the comments, too.  They're information gold for those who've had the experience.

It does beg the question:  WHY do succubi make an entrance and introduction by appearing as evil and ugly as fuck to scare the shit out of someone while sitting on their chest (and, if the person really freaks out they leave), BUT... if the person allows it, the succubi eventually show their true forms as beautiful?

Well, Sky says, "Because it tells us if they are worth the trouble."

Ok, touche, but it still seems a lot of work and hoopla.  But what do I know, I'm a succubus pet :P

I wouldn't call what they do as "evil", I'd call it "risk management".

Here's another one on Spirit Families, and DAMN it got my mind turning something fierce:

https://ourwitchinghour.wordpress.com/2016/09/29/soul-mates-twin-flames-and-spirit-families-whats-the-deal/

I hope you all have a great 4th of July weekend!

Blessings,


Rafe GB



"Take me over the walls below
Fly forever
Don't let me go..."




"You're the pulse in my veins
You're the war that I wage. 
Can you change me?
Can you change me?"


Sunday, June 25, 2017

I'm all pumped up

Star is one amazing woman.

She told me last night that we'd have sex because I woke up with a song that revealed that fact.

Now, heh, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so I decided at lunch to eat 10 white castle hamburgers.

Oh, I was tore up.

So, night came and I think she was rather sympathetic to my gastric-intestinal trauma and let it go.

For then.

(EDIT 06-28-17:  I really hate to do this, but "Star" prefers "Sky"... succubus's perogative to change names.  Yep.  What a handful they are!  But I love them (her), so here we go...)

This morning I felt her coming over me and I felt familiar tingling on my hair and throughout my head.  I jumped away from the computer (feeling MUCH better than the night before) and went and laid down.

Wow.  I mean, it was kinda sex, but kinda something else.

She was doing some weird stuff with me, but I'm a good trooper so I laid there and let her finish (verified with a pendulum since physical sensations can be misleading).

It's still with me, like it's a lasting feeling that we are still intimate.

The key to all this is I'm learning a lot.  The goal, well... my goal of having with a succubus isn't release anymore, I learned that much over the years.

But what it is, is that she "climaxes" or rather soaks up enough of our energy to be in a state of ecstasy.

When that happens, apparently THIS happens:  I've got it all day... kind of stuck between here and there... kinda.

I feel sensations along my body even now as I'm typing... strange after effects I guess.

She knows more than Bunny did, or perhaps she's just more wise, I don't know.

Yes, I know this could be Bunny for all I know... that thought won't go away (Sky says "no").

But... I don't think so (I've shown how reliable my thinking tends to be... always changing).

Sky has her distinct personality.

OH!  I forgot... last night I was laying down there and we talked.  That's a first.

Internal.  In my head.  Felt like she was right in front of me, or perhaps around me somehow.

She called me "adorable" a lot, usually after my questions to her about succubus things.  Never been called adorable before by a woman.  That's a first.

I could tell that she meant it truly, not as in "I'm ignorant" or the like.  Or perhaps I'm innocent and that makes me adorable in her eyes.  Lol, I dunno.  As long as she finds me "adorable", I'm happy and content.

She chided me for saying I was in fear, or "fearful" a lot:  She said I'm one of the most curious and "gets out of my comfort zone" type of humans she's ever met (at least with regards to spiritual things).  I disagree (because I do feel fear sometimes), but what are ya gonna do?  Maybe it's an issue of perspective.

("You're so ADORABLE!  *high-pitched girl squeal*)

She also said that I am valuable to them (their "clan"), having mentored a few succubi without even knowing it (I guess through experience with me rather than me teaching anything directly... I don't KNOW anything to teach a succubus).  Maybe that's what "Bubbles" and the other ones from early on were about (and those that I considered my own personal failings as to why they left)?  I dunno.

*shrug*

Oh, she said I was good for having a "I had fun if you had fun" mindset with them.  She said that most of the time it's all about the human's needs and the human rarely thinks about the succubus.  She said that my particular hopeful attitude has allowed me to experience what I'm experiencing now:  A long lasting  period of sexual intimacy with her... without having had sex for very long... because it's what I crave beyond sex as well.

Maybe the strong intent of mine that I have (that she be satisfied), and thoughts toward the same allow for it to happen?

It's hard to tell if I'm hearing her voice or parroting myself at some points, so I'll leave it all at that, because the rest is dicey and I'm not sure if it's her or me talking ("parroting").  Now the stuff I wrote that she said, she said to the best of my belief.

Point is... this is a new level of love and intimacy that I've found possible with Sky (or any succubus prior) and I LOVE IT!

Sex is great, but intimacy is my soul's secret desire (well, not so secret anymore) that she's fulfilling.

Why am I sharing this?  Because it's not a big secret anymore:  She's fulfilling it.  And besides that, anything off the "secrecy" table is fair game to share... may it help someone to know their own secret desires of their soul.

Love and intimacy are the cake, sex is the icing.  It all kind of blends in together.  Sort of.

I wish the same for all of you.  As I always say at the end of my SASPA posts:  "That is my prayer"

I wish I could describe the "lasting sexual intimacy" feeling better, but words fail me.  It's a very comforting feeling.  Kind of a "lighter shade of ecstasy?"

Think of it as a happy, content, sexually fulfilled woman purring against you all day, but it's around you like an aura.

Could this be some form of Tantra, energy wise?

All I know to write.  Kinda hard to express.

Anyway,

Blessings,


Rafe GB