Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Turning Point

 



I've learned a lot these 10 years or so.  Had my self full of the succubi for a wild ride.  A wild ride indeed.

It's no wonder that the lack of a succubus in my life is startling after what I've experienced.

I never really thought I'd be going through parts of my life without one.  Sadly, this has been the way that has developed over time.

All I know now is what it's like to feel alone.  And I must ask myself, "Why?".

There's no answer.  The silence is deafening to my ears.  Silence...

Which leads me to the blog.

I've been thinking long and hard about it since I've been succubus "less" as it were.  There's not much in my story that will fill these pages with no succubus.  I think I'm going to take a break and see where that leads me, in time.

A blog about succubi isn't really going to go anywhere with no succubus, now is it?

So, consider me on sabbatical.  If things change I'll make a post just as soon as I can.  If.

Now for the weird part.  

The first entity I ever met was 12 years ago when I lived on the farm.  I was down and out there and decided to end things.  At the moment that I was to do this, A being landed near me and it felt as if I was to fall to my face.  She said 3 words that I'll never forget.  "No, Rafe... No!"  Well, it was my real name but you get the picture.  After she told me those 3 words, I resolved to get help for myself, and I did.  She was only here for about 5 seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

Why does this story matter?

I'm wondering if this angelic lady might have more in store for me in the future, in the end of my life.  I can't put a finger on it, but it seems plausible.

See, I have felt parts of a spirit touching me in a loving, friendly way... my hair, hugging me, etc.  Just wisps of a touch here or there...

But nothing sexual.  And that's been months worth.  Still... something's familiar.

Maybe I'll pray to help this all be sorted good and true.  Lets see what that does.

Brightest Blessings,


Rafe GB




Wednesday, October 27, 2021

She came back, sort of.

 



I figured she left for good, but I was wrong.  

She came back after all.  Sort of.

It's worth noting that she contacted me in my dreams like the old days.  

I am still struggling with medical problems as of late.

Also I'm going to be updating this post as things change.


Brightest Blessings,

Rafe GB

Edit:  She left far longer than was normal, I think she's gone.  I redid the summoning just to either make my connection with her stronger, or to connect with a new one.

I THINK that I've connected with a new one and if so she's taking it real slow.  Last night I dreamed of conversing with a lady spirit twice in the same dream.  She was bright and loveable if that can even be the terms that I can describe her with.

So, here I am, one day at a time.  I'll keep this updated unless something merits a whole new post...

1/8/2022 Nope.  Appears to be a fluke.  I don't feel her anymore.


Monday, September 20, 2021

Ta ta?

 



I've been through hell as of late.

It's strange.  I could feel my succubus when I was coming off of benzos.  In fact she was a daily visitor.

For some reason she quit coming here about the time that I had to be admitted to the hospital when I finally crashed.  Makes me wonder.

Where is she?

Maybe she wasn't meant to be with me now that I'm all out and stable.  But why not?

Is it "ta ta, I'm gone" or what?

I try to find a correlation between my mental states and in her appearing and disappearing, but it doesn't match up.

I'm afraid that she's gone for good to be honest.

Guess I'll see,

Blessings,


Rafe GB.






Tuesday, August 3, 2021

Benzos

 



It's funny.  I'm going through a completely cold turkey benzo withdrawl.  I took them as prescribed by my physician for 10 years, 3x a day.  That's over 10,000 narcotics.

And I am suffering.  I'm on day 6.  At first it was tremors.  Now it's that plus hot/cold extremes of sensation.  Everything I taste, tastes like ashes in my mouth.  Akinesia...

Something is happening though.  I suffer, but my soul does not.  I'm learning the difference and something is emerging.  I think like the quote above that I am changing.  I'm blossoming into something new.

My ex wife has tried her mental and emotional abuse, as always, as she has for 12 god damned years since our divorce because we have kids together, but it's not sticking.  I'm almost laughing at it.

The same with my mother.  Her attempts to ration out the loving kindness of a mother when it suits her, as if that is even possible as it's just a tool she uses when she can get something out of it, isn't working anymore.  Again, I'm almost in laughter at what she's done to me for so long.  Can you see, friend?  Was there a moment when you were suddenly free?

My succubus lover is with me constantly.  She's worried I think, but even she knows something that she knew would happen is finally here...

I wonder how she can be so patient... patiently waiting for me to emerge.

This is new territory for me.  For us.  These are uncharted waters.

I'm curious as to how our relationship will change, in the moment by moment of it... as it dawns.

Love is a powerful thing.  She truly is a creature of goodness and truth.  She embodies the best of what it is to be a spirit lover.  A succubus.  Hell, she feels like an angel how she's nursing and keeping tabs on me.  She's not perfect, but she's mine, lol.  Oh, she's mine.


Blessings,

Rafe GB.





Friday, July 16, 2021

A Gentle Rebuke

 



I had a dream last night, I've been waiting for something to write about.

My succubus likes to make out with me in my dreams... last night she made out with me, yet she withdrew her mouth and said, "Ow, your tongue stung me!"  It didn't take long to figure out what she meant... I had been feeling bad thoughts towards her, brought on my my medication slowly depleting and running out as my Dr. has quit and I'm waiting for an appt. with my new one, which doesn't want to write any prescriptions until they see me in the office at the end of the month.

I believe that's why she didn't scold me too harshly.  After all I can't really help it, but she was only telling me how it felt.  I feel bad, really.

Also, I've put her in charge of solving my disability review.  I can't handle it anymore, the worrying about it.  The anguish of worrying about it.  I'm thinking about letting her handle more things in my life.

At least then I can worry about yet other, unrelated things.  Family things.

It's strange.. running out of this medicine is making me mean... now I know why I'm Bipolar 1.  Anger, fear, hostility, rage.  It's almost as if it's to say oh yeah... that's why I'm fucked up.  Lol.

Well... I am thankful for her.  She's a keeper.  Love your succubus daily, because they damn sure deserve it.  Gluttons for attention they may be... but they deserve that attention as well.

Oh, I forgot!  I've got to brag on her a little bit :)  

I asked her to give us a little vacation, and I figured it would be in dreams of course if it happened.  Turns out I dreamed me and a group were flying to outer space and across dimensions.  How's that for a vacation?  Last but not least, but right afterwards I dreamed that my grandpa was sleeping and talking in his sleep.  I remember thinking, "I'm so lucky to be hearing this, I'm lucky that he's alive."  The fact is I awoke and realized that he's actually dead.  It was a sentimental vacation indeed, at the end.

Don't underestimate a succubus...


Blessings,

Rafe GB.

Sunday, June 20, 2021

The Challenge

 



I wanted to play a game with my succubus so I challenged her to a contest.  The winner gets her pussy licked or I get a blowjob, whomever won.  Her challenge was to give me an electrical jolt in one of my limbs.  My job was to relax my whole body and prevent this.

It's kind of funny how smooth she was.  My mind darted to check my feet and legs for a split second and that's when she pounced... she twitched my arm.

Well I lost that one.  Tonight I'm going to visualize eating her out good and plenty.  I may have lost but that doesn't mean I can't torture her in a good way for a bit.  Heheh.

Believe me, they feel every lick given when done in this way...

Succubi love games.  If you can think of some more games like this, let me know.

I've pulled out the energy working tools I learned years ago.  I've had fun practicing giving/receiving energy to another for the first time in ages.  It has felt good to feel those old channels open.

Succubi love games, and succubi love energy work.  I'm not sure why exactly.  As you improve so does your connection to them.  It's strange how they can be so hard to communicate with, and other times they come through so clear...

I'm rather confused about the rituals in that so few people who are trying them are getting a succubus.  I don't think it's due to the rituals, it's, in my mind, due to the fact that succubi have gotten so particular about whom they choose.  I still feel that not giving up and doing the rituals every week will eventually give results.  If it doesn't, at least you know to let it go after a few months.

But I still say that energy work... reiki and the like is like catnip to succubi.

Blessings,

Rafe GB.




Friday, May 28, 2021

Marriage is Hard


Before we start, Blogger is taking away the notify by email option.  If you want to see any new posts from now on just check in from time to time ;)

I've been praying for my spirit lover each and every night and it's really helped us.

Kind of.

I don't understand why, but when she comes over me during the night I fight her off.  Yeah, as strange as that sounds it's true and I don't like it.  One time I even floated above my body and had massive claws to fight her off with.  Not understanding it considering it was just a red headed girl as she usually appears as.  I guess I need to add it to my prayer list for us.

Another thing I need to improve on is in paying attention to her in the daytime.  She warned me not to mess with a tree stump with my mower and I promptly ignored her and wrecked my mower.  Good times.

There's a few guys that are doing the ritual (not mine) to get a succubus and they seem to be having no luck at all.  I feel sorry for them and hope that a succubus chooses them in the end.  What, is there a kind of succubus shortage lately?

I married a few couples with their spirit lovers.  It was a treat and I enjoyed it.  I went to get a replacement ordination card and it'll cost $80 to get a new card from the International Metaphysical Ministry.  Well, that's not going to happen.  

Fear not, for I had a backup ordination from Open Ministry this whole time and I'll be running with them from now on.  I already have an up to date card (they only use my name and my date of ordination).

Much more reasonable!

Anyway,

Blessings,

Rafe GB.