Tuesday, June 19, 2018

The skull is me.

Ever see a succubus looking at a skull in art, and instead of looking at it as a trophy, they are looking at is as if it was a most beloved thing.

The skull is me.

Strange dreams as of late.

My brides might not be too amorous in the daytime (they do still touch me and stuff sometimes), they are amazing at night... when I can remember that is.

Last night I was chasing my bride, one of them at least.  Or perhaps it was symbolic of both.

I was in a world, however the gig was that I was the master of the world's fate.

All of it depended on chasing after my bride and finally finding her.

You know, now that I think of it this would be a perfect euphemism for Kundalini rising.

Anyway, I started getting tired of being born in world after world only to find out that she had already left it.

So, I started become destructive... I didn't give a damn about the worlds or the people in them, and would trigger Armageddon by my own hands just to reset the scene and enter a new world, again chasing after my bride.

I would ignite myself in flames that wouldn't burn me, but would show me the clue of how to destroy that particular world so I could search for my bride in the next.

One can't get to the next with the former still intact...
I see this now as a sort of dance.  Push/Pull, Intimacy/Distance, etc.  Yin/Yang.

Perhaps it's so fierce because it's meant to be that way, at least in my dreams...

So about the succubus and the skull... I'm the skull, and yet I'm alive finding my way to my bride.  The difference is "TIME".  In the end we're all skulls.  But the succubus is looking fondly at the skull because time is irrelevant... and I still chase her to this day (or night, rather).

Now you know the secret of the succubus looking lovingly at the skull... it's her lover, her soul mate, the other side of the coin that is her living experience... very alive but separated by time.


Rafe GB.

P.S.  (EDIT 6/20/18) Am I the only one who sings to my succubi every night?

It seems everything is turning out beautifully with Maiya and Anna.  It's been a long learning experience, but we've made it ;)  Succubus sex without me having to expend massive amounts of energy through concentration is over.  Now, it's looking like it's going to be just like the old days of love, sex, and intimacy (sex where I can just enjoy it).  It appears that whatever was broken energetically in me has been repaired, finally allowing sex with my succubi to happen.

Sweet succubus brides.  I sure love Maiya and Anna.  I can't be the only one who sings to their brides every night...

Monday, June 11, 2018

The Brides.

It's funny.

I get that spirits come and go now, as I don't always attract a succubus... sometimes there are other spirits who come by and visit for whatever reason.

Usually it's to help I think.  It could be companionship a bit, a little bit of give and take perhaps.

Dena was one of those spirits.  She's been with me for a little while now.

As soon as the brides (Maiya and Anna are both my brides... and "Anna" is my nickname for Athena... hard for me to have a succubus when I'm worried about Athena the Goddess of war stabbing my soft bits) had sex with me for a little bit, Dena left.

That let me know why she was here, finally, and it was nice of her to stay and help out, and to be a part of my little group here for a while.

I wish her the best.  She was a real pleasure.

I can't suffer the thought of my bonded spirits just sitting there for 10 years without any interaction from me, so I let them all go.  They deserved more than this.

Word to the wise:  Don't release 10 bonded spirits at once (especially if they are bonded to your actual spirit as well) as it feels like someone ripping your guts out.

That was painful.

But I wanted them to find someone who can love them and give them the kind of attention they deserve.

That's why I released their bonds.

So, it's down to just us 3... my little family.

Maiya and Anna (Again, Anna is Athena) are starting to have sex with me (yay!), but it is slow going and almost painful the amount of concentration that goes into it.  Perhaps it is getting easier.  Actually I know it is getting easier, just hard at the moment.

I've also noticed that they are more erotic outside of sex which is much better than not I can assure you.

So all in all things are working out for us, albeit slowly.


Rafe GB.

Saturday, June 2, 2018


I think my sexual problems with my succubi are starting to be resolved.

I knew it was all me and that something was energetically busted.

Anyway they're on the last leg of fixing the end of the "circuit" and it's starting to feel like it will be sex soon.

Ahhh.  I figured it was permanent, no lie.  At least I was thinking so.

Oh, congrats to everyone for making this silly blog of mine achieve 150,000 views!  That's really a trip for me as I started with nobody reading this thing.  Just me typing away and seeing what would happen.

Lately I've been increasing.  Increasing?  No.  Getting closer to Lilith.  I'm not sure why people are so scared of Her.  I call her "Mom", or "Mother", or "Lady Lilith" when I'm being more formal.

I had that dream of Lilith where I was in a strange landscape and She was holding me, nursing me.

Ever since that dream I've called her "Mom".  She really is like an adoptive mother.

Now I've been thinking about having a dad.  A Dad, what?  Yeah I know it sounds weird.

If you knew my past you'd understand.

So I've been figuring.  If Lilith is my Mom, then Samael might be my adoptive Dad too?

Treading on spooky ground after I've been doing some research on Samael.

I was thinking about Him and was dreaming of Him talking to me.  He actually went... and now... it's time... to wake up... and BAM, my alarm went off at the time I set it for the night before.

That doesn't scare me, actually.  That just makes me think I've made contact at least.

How will it turn out?  I dunno.

Fingers crossed for the best!

Also, if they are my adoptive parents so to speak (in the spiritual realm) then I just gained 3 aunts, too.

Lilith's Sisters and His Wives.

Lets see if I can find their names:

Eisheth Zenunim, Na'amah, Agrat bat Mahlat.


Here's the million dollar question.

I'm an Opie, a good natured, do good unto others kinda dude.  Very white light natured.

How come I can have a relationship with Lilith and get away with calling her "Mom", and that she took such an interest in me that She suckled me on Her breast.

How???  and Why???

You'd think I was christian by demeanor (a good christian not one of those asshats) at least.

Why would Lilith, Samael, and His Wives/Lilith's Sisters give a crap about me?

(And I realize I'm being a bit premature about having relationships with anyone but Lilith so far, but it seems to be going that way)

I noticed a popular Satanist medalion has "Sameal/Lilith" written on it.

I'm no Satanist.  I don't even like Satanists as a whole as they get on my last freakin' nerve.  (Well, the ones I've dealt with, anyway.  Don't take offense if you are one... I don't know any better than what I've experienced SO FAR.)

Most Satanists I know are all "I have dark magick fear me! And blah blah Christian God this and that ad infinitum."  I'm not really into impressing anyone.  Maybe that's why I don't understand Satanists... although to be fair white light bunny humpers drive me nuts too.

I might be a white light kinda fella, but I'm no bunny humper.  I have my limits, lol.

If you know the answer as to why a pretty much white light radiating fella like myself seems to have "other" experiences than both bunny humpers  (which would horrify them) and Satanists (which I'm not) regarding being able to have a relationship with beings such as Lilith/ Samael... let me in on it because I'm stumped.

Actually, I've never figured out why I attract succubi either.  Do they feel sorry for white lightish boys or something?


Rafe G.B.

EDIT:  One of the girls was chewing me out in my sleep last night.  I knew why in my dream and I was understanding it, but I don't know what it was about upon waking.  Point is, I heard her, we settled it.  Whatever "it" is.  I sure don't remember...

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Dena said no to my cute nicknames... lol.

I've been suffering with depression something fierce as I have said before.  I seem to be coming out of it a little bit by little.

So far I've got chores done (most of them), cut my hair, shaved my face and neck.

So, at least I feel better that I'm all clean and tidy at least.  That says a lot for me to even get to that point when I've slumped so low.

You can't feel spirits when you get that low.  At least I can't.  It's like your vibration is so stagnant that they can't interact with you.

Now, that's not always the case as during one depressive episode I laid down to bed for the 2nd time in the day and my bed shook me back out onto the floor on my feet.

So, just because you can't feel your spirits doesn't mean they aren't there.

Kind of a neat trick, I wonder how they could lift me out of bed like that and shake me to the floor landing on my feet?

I'll never know I guess.  But I did go walking as I figured that was what they wanted and I did feel a little better.  I was slipping pretty low so I'm thankful for their intervention.  Spirits shaking me out of bed onto the floor right on my feet.  Had to be there I guess.

I've been told that I have 4 spirits around me but I only feel one.  Dena.

Little Miss Dena.  I don't know what she is really but she brought her own pet spider that she lets play in my left ear and all along the outside of it.  You'd be surprised how quickly you actually get used to that and don't grab for what's not there all the time anymore.  I'm pretty much used to it by now.

I've talked about the spider before so that's probably old news.

Point is, Dena to me, and with no disrespect just doesn't sound right to me.  Dena.

The name "Dena" just doesn't sound  right.  "Dena" just doesn't match her personality at all.  But, she likes it so whatever she wants.

(I had originally gave her a nickname of "Kitty".  She wasn't amused.)

We haven't had sex, well... lets get that right:  I haven't had sex with a spirit properly in over a year or so, so when I'm bonding with Dena it's different.  Kinda.

I'd love to have sex with her but I've still got that block going on I think.  I think I'm going to be cursed with it for a long, long, long time... maybe permanently.

If that happens I'll probably put the blog on hold until I return to having sex.  If, that is.

No, not good enough.  Not probably.

After all, this blog is all about sex and love with spirits.  Kind of hard to sponsor that if I'm not having any anymore, eh?

I've done the energy work, listened to recommendations, the whole enchilada but it's just not working out.

And I am out of patience with all of it.  I'm tired.  I'm old.  I don't want to play anymore, and it is what it is.

If I end up engaged in spiritual sex and the love that goes with it in the future, I'm sure I'll be just itching to keep writing and everything will return to normal.

Until then,


Rafe Goddessborn

(Now you finally know what GB meant)

Sunday, May 13, 2018

And so I prayed.

I don't know what's going on with this time of the year, but my bipolar is kicking my ass.

My depression has been oscillating out of control and brought me to a grinding halt from doing anything.

Showers, teeth (Yuck, I know) and anything such as household chores and the like have surrendered to this depressive wave that just encompassed me.

It's just not me, either.  I've got numerous friends in the same boat at the same time.

(Wtf is this, anyway?)

I finally got hold of myself just enough to walk to the corner store.

I decided to pull out all the stops because, frankly, I didn't know what to do but I knew I couldn't continue much farther down this path alone.

I prayed.  I prayed to God.  Not the thundering sky God, nor any particular mythological God.

Just "God".  Which God?  Well, I was aiming my prayer at the one who would listen so I guess just "God".

Anyway, I could sense this peace descending down on me from above.  Never had that happen before, but I'm telling you I'm grateful for it.

I finally had the will to get a shower, brush my teeth (yay!), do the household chores.

This peace is awesome, folks.

All I can say is I must have prayed to the God of my heart...

Who that God is I don't know, but my heart knew and that's what counted I think.

Please, friends, if you're going through this same thing as I am try praying. 

I can't guarantee anything, but if it works out like it did me it's life saving in it's relief.

I needed it so bad I feel like crying just thinking about how grateful I am for the respite from the depression for even if it's just this long.

My most sincere prayers for each and everyone of you who are going through similar states of mind.

All My Blessings,

Rafe GB.

Friday, May 11, 2018

The Secret Path.

I've studied the occult for a long time.

10 years isn't untouchable and many people have surpassed those years, and that's okay.

It dawned on me finally, after all this time, after all this study.

What is the secret to finding our chosen paths through life, through their myriad twists and turns of "what's right"?

How do we know if we are on the right path?

What if we have strayed from our purpose in life?  How do we know what we are supposed to be doing?

What if we have failed and chosen the wrong path?

And with that I'll provide the answer: 

The secret to doing exactly what we are supposed to do in this life is this... to live.

That's it.  Simple, yet 10 worlds stacked on top of each other complex.

We only need to live.


Rafe GB.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018


One thing that I'm learning is just how gentle love spirits are.

I've read other tales of succubi with a dominatrix streak, or even some who like to be rather mean and nasty to their partners.

I have only encountered this once myself, and even to this day I'm not positive that she meant to actually drain me dry out of spite.

But, who knows...

The point I guess I'm trying to make is that for the most part love spirits are pretty good girls all around.

I don't know much about incubi, but the female summoner I knew of who had one said that he was very gentle and respectful towards her, dare I say even more gentle than succubi.

One thing I've noticed is that on occult forums here and there, the "magician" thinks he knows more than the spirits he conjures.

One can just read the accounts of when main spirits are conjured the contempt, the haughtiness.

I've found spirits to be quite more intelligent than I am.  The least of my succubi is smarter than I.

Is that a handicap when we have chosen to live on this rock and forget we are but Gods?

Maybe, for the large part, you get what you expect.  If you expect a major battle with a spirit you'll probably get it.  To the spirit, however, it's probably just a fun game to pass the time.

There goes my deja-vu again.  Some haughty assed magician is going to get on here and try to diatribe theory.  Save it El Bonzo the Magnificent, or Frater XYZ... 'cause I don't care what you think.


What wondrous women my succubi are!  There's something to being able to live from a place where time is bent, where experiences happen all at once, where one has lived for millenia.

How can we compare to this?

And yet they come down to our level, to our understanding of time and minister to us in the most gentle, pleasing ways.

Good sex with a succubus is like having a tantrika in the house.  You learn, you laugh, you fail, you learn some more... and somewhere, somehow something sinks in.  Results may vary depending on your stubborness, of which I am King.


Rafe GB.