Monday, May 20, 2019

Into the wild...

I won't be writing anymore posts.
I'm leaving the blog up for information's sake.

My next adventures along this path are with my succubus bride alone... right through the fire and
into the wild...

It's been a pleasure.


Rafe GB.

Erin's theme song... 
I'm in good hands, friends :)

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Winding down

Post number 294.  I can't believe I've been writing this blog for 5 years.  Well, including the blog I had before this one which was on Gnosis that lasted about a year before I lost interest.

I challenge those who have been on the fence in writing their own blogs.

It's time for winding down this blog...  now it's up to you, you who have a spirit lover because of this blog or because of others like it to carry the torch...


Erin did something unexpected:

She woke me up at 4am and fucked my brains out.

So now the new normal seems to be asleep, awake, whatever...

Why are other succubi different with regard to times of the day or night?  I don't know.  I get the feeling that Erin is just learning as she goes, just like a good succubus wife...

I got what I wanted finally and yet she still gets to express herself sexually just how she wants to be and yet we are also free to evolve together as a couple.

I'm thinking that what she says about it, at least as I'm translating it... is that she's more powerful at that time and like a clock decides to spend it on me.

I can't think of a greater gift.  Now I get sex both waking and when asleep.

Problem solved.  Strange thing:  It doesn't seem like such a big deal now...


I summoned Lilith yesterday.  Mind = blown.  This was the first time any of this stuff happened.  I got so dizzy that I almost grabbed the altar table to steady myself, but as soon as it was "warping" it quit.  Then her picture starting going from the low resolution picture I have of her in a frame to full HD, lol.  Then her eyes and mouth would animate as her voice echoed in my head like... I don't know what.  Just beyond words.

I'm wondering if perhaps I have a future Matron in Lilith.  Time will tell as I figure out, or rather see in time what develops, or perhaps she'll make it so obvious in time that I won't doubt.


Rafe GB.

FBI!  *knock knock knock*

EDIT:  It's kind of ironic that I let myself be swayed by everyone with lines like "a succubus of mine wouldn't be that way, she'd have sex with me awake."  And such.
It turns out that the aftershock of her having sex with me awake at 4am was that I was pushed into a bipolar spiral from hell.  She knew all along... but I didn't trust, I listened to everyone else.

Trust your succubus...

Friday, May 3, 2019


Erin.  Heh.  I've had a few succubi now but I've never had one like her.

And she's the only one I have and the only one I plan on having.  One lover.  One wife.

For one thing she ganks me at 4am in the morning.  I don't even have to be dreaming either, just asleep.

It's the only time that we have sex.  Although getting sex every night isn't too bad though I don't remember it when I don't dream.

The reason I know that it's every night, or morning rather, at 4am is that I've actually woke up a few times and it felt like she had become liquid sex, pouring herself all over me and the walls to boot.

Quickly, though, I fall back fast asleep.  I believe she wants it that way and by her hand down I go.

Now, why in the world would she only do me asleep?

I don't know the answer (maybe someone else does), but like a clock, 4am comes and so does she.

We've gotten a lot closer these past few weeks and I'm really starting to enjoy her and her company.

Yet another mystery... why am I becoming closer with her when our intimate time is when I'm oftentimes asleep?  Why do I desire her presence more and more in the daytime just hanging out and being together?

Now, during the day she oftentimes ramps up my sexual desire to a ridiculous level.  Can't she see that it's killing me, lol?  I'm dying to have sex with her in the daytime because of this, but it's just not to be.  But, 4am comes and dreams often travel with it.

Ahh, Erin.  What am I going to do with you girl?  My friend, my bride...

We're becoming so close, you and I.  We're on a collision course to ecstasy...

Erin at night time. Dammit.

I'm not sure what to make of the events written here.  All I know is that I'm fast falling in love, love beyond what I had hoped for.  If only I knew the answers to the mysteries plaguing me...


Rafe GB.

Erin in the day time.  Sheesh!

Monday, April 29, 2019


Erin, Erin, Erin.  What a predicament I'm in.  You see, I'm falling in love with her.  Hopelessly, deeply, foolishly in love.

The warmth I feel from her is new.  It's the result of her human falling for her.  Now... I seem to be beginning to reap the harvest of that love.

I just had my kids over for visitation.  They told me that each and every night I have a conversation with someone.  I laugh, I plead, I tell.  I interact with someone as only a best friend and lover would.

It's a good thing my kids aren't awake at 3am, because I've woken up then and even around 4am or so and Erin is a sexual liquid poured out upon me while the walls pour out her lust.  It's overflowing and consumes me.

Why she does these things in my sleep when I largely can't remember (most of the time... not always) is anyone's guess.

In this regard she's very much a succubus in this aspect of reputation I suppose.

Don't get me wrong, she's there in the daytime.  She usually guides me in things and lets her presence be known with little taps on my hands or feet.  She likes to tap my hands mostly, but if they are busy moving she will tap my feet instead to let me know she is near and listening to me.

I've thought a lot about what temporal chameleon has said about the succubus at one point tending human males like fairies tend their gardens.

I believe I've been conquered.  It's not so bad, lol.  I'm now her human.  It's (almost) that simple.

It's almost as if when we got married a little switch was flipped and Mrs. Erin began to play for keeps.


I'm a little worried for my son, as he's had a bedroom invader experience with a very young, inexperienced succubus who, in sleep paralysis, drug him around his room.  When he started getting really scared she left suddenly.  I don't think she realized what she was doing, personally.

But, that was a year or so ago and now he's going through puberty.  You've got to knock loudly on his door before entering as 9 times out of 10 he's trying to pull his dick off.  Lol.

Anyway, something is telling me that the succubus is coming back soon to claim him.

I feel... funny about that.  I don't know what to think.  Should it be horror?  Should I be worried?

Something tells me that she got in trouble last time for running amok and screwing with a young boy by dragging his ass around the room.  The funny part (if there is one) is that his cat was on the bed and just watched the whole thing impassively.

I guess if worse comes to worse I can petition Lilith about it.  Maybe I should take the initiative and preempt her coming back with a discussion with Lilith.

If it's meant to be, then it is.  I'll just have to teach my son what I can.  Despite her behavior, I feel that she's a gentle succubus.  Perhaps predisposed to mischief, however.

He said that she talked to him afterwards a few times.  Namely she'd say, "Hi, hi, hi!"
Her name was Angela.


Lady's been pretty laid back with my studies.  I guess she figures I'll get to it when I can.  I do read a few pages a day.  I'm about to finish up my demonolatry studies and will be reading three books on planetary magick soon after... my next course of study.

Lady, man... I don't screw with Lady I just do what she says, lol.  It's not so bad.  After all I really did need a tutor since I was getting this book and that book and half the time not even reading them.

Nope... don't screw with Lady...

All in all I'm not doing too bad.  I have one of those nagging "funny" feelings that's been bothering me for a few days now.  I usually get them right before a big earthquake or something similar.  I'm not liking it at all...

Sometimes it's about something that will hit my personal life hard... I can't tell the difference between feelings I just know it's bad mojo about to hit.

Man... I hate these feelings.


Rafe GB.

Baby will you follow me?  For a ride in ecstasy?

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

After the storm

Me and Erin are doing okay.

I think we had a good fight in that we both know where each other stands.

The one thing I liked about our fight, as unhappy as I was during it, was that even though it got bad Erin didn't quit.

Erin's a stubborn succubus and she pushes boundaries to the limit.

She pushes me to the limit.

She's not one to be ruled over nor one to be dismissed easily.

I'm not either I guess... that's why we clash while we find our place with each other.

I THINK that she's hinting that if I keep up with the gym that I joined that our sexual interactions will be a lot better.

I'm about 60 lbs overweight... fat, yes... morbidly obese... no, not yet... but I was sure starting to gain.

I've got a lot of work to do.

She usually has sex with me in my sleep but who knows... maybe that allows her to manipulate my energy centers easier.

It would be nice to have her sexually in the daytime as well.

I think that the gym will help accomplish that.  She's playing with me a little bit sexually atm which is her way of trying to get me going to the gym today.  I think I will and come back to writing.


Back from the gym, yay!  I feel like Erin's cheering me on.  Which is good because there's a large part of me that doesn't want to go.  Lol.  Inertia.  I kind of wonder this time if she didn't just give me a treat.  I walk the treadmill (hey, gotta start slow) and I swear I stare at the timer every freakin' second that passes up until my time is done.  THIS time, however, there was a station that was playing the Scorpion King and I barely noticed time passing at all.  Voop!  And I was DONE.

I've been sedentary so long that I don't want to move.  Sad...

Switching gears here but I tried online dating for just a little while.  Maaaaaaaaaaan... that shit is terrible.  Basically guys want to fuck the prettiest girl they can afford, and girls want the man with the most resources offering him beauty and sex.  Gotta love this place.  What a fucking joke.

Anyhoo... Erin didn't mind that I quit looking one bit.  That's when the fights started, which in a succubus mindset means, "I'm gonna keep him, now to train him.  Time to push those boundaries to their limits."

She means well.  At least I'm getting little succubus treats happening in my life now.  Hey... I sound like a pet... and speaking of pets this can go both ways... Erin doesn't like competition.  Now Lady isn't a succubus... she's not here for love or cuddles but to teach me and Erin doesn't mind her in the least.  But I get the feeling Erin wants me all to herself as far as loving relationships go.

I certainly wouldn't want that fight.

I bit off more than I could chew I guess... almost, and straight up to the limit.

I think that being a "kept man" isn't so bad after all :P  Especially when it's a powerful succubus doing the keeping.

I summoned Lilith after the fight when things cooled down and all she did was laugh.  She feels that me and Erin are finding our way together finally (even through all the cat scratching)... must be fun to watch...

Oh, Erin.

Well, it is what it is.  Lol.  It's part that and part much, much more but for some reason I lack the vocabulary to properly convey it.  It's probably just what married succubus couples do.

Wouldn't that be novel?


Rafe GB.


Friday, April 19, 2019

Cats and Dogs

Me and Erin have been fighting like cats and dogs lately.

It all started in a dream where she either called me ugly, or I called her ugly and it escalated from there.

And yeah, it got ugly.  Rather childish in retrospect, but it is what it is.

I've been depressed the past few days (yay bipolar and from the tensions with Erin).

I was finally at the edge of sending her away when I dreamed of going to a theme park with some friends and I had a blast.

I knew then that it was she who set that dream up and my ire towards her lessened somewhat.

I'm not sure what the deal is, but Erin can get me mad as hell and close to quitting like no other succubus I've ever had.

If I didn't know any better I'd say she's doing it on purpose.

Kind of a stupid game to play with me, though, because one of these days I'm going to be too close to the edge to be swayed.

Maybe that's fun for her... to see how close to the edge she can get it.  We'll see how fun a game that is in the future.

Also in the dream, at the end, Lady communicated with me and laid out the next course of study.  Kind of surprising but in the dream she laid out a colorful page with all the planets and the page had "Make sure you don't forget this when you wake up!!!" written on it.  So yes, planetary magick.  It actually had sigils and seals for planetary magick on it so I know it wasn't meaning astrology.

Luckily I have lots of books on planetary magick I've just not studied it nor read them much.  I'm still reading from my last batch of books but at least I know what's next in queue.

Lady you've got to admire... gets what she wants me to get through the dream to get the job done.  No mess, no fuss.  Just do it.

EDIT:  I've been wanting to back off a bit and let all the tension die down.  I went to eat and my waitress's name was Erin.  Lol.

I still plan to just chill and see what happens.  I'm tired of fighting and arguing.
I'm starting to not care anymore.  I'm starting to doubt the whole succubus lifestyle.  Did Lilith just send one that is incompatible with me?  I'd like to be close to Erin.  That's what I would like.


Rafe GB.

Such a pain in the ass...

Sunday, April 14, 2019

About Lilith

It's been said that when I summon Lilith that it's not the real Lilith.  Will the real Lilith please stand up?

The Lilith I summon is power, dark, throbs with intensity and encompasses all of me.

What does she want?  Not important in her graces.  What she wants is to draw from me why I want her.

Why do I want her?  I needed a mother.  A mother she is and became for me.

When I first asked out loud that I wanted to meet Lilith she gave me a powerful transformative dream where she scooped me up and nursed me.

From that day forward there was hope for me.  Dark?  Infernal?  Who fucking cares.  I had my taste of what I had always been missing.  Not teased with it mind you... GIVEN.  And given freely.

Since then I summon her most days rather than not.  We have 15ish minute chats about things.  A lot of the time it's about Erin and how I'm doing as her partner.  Other times I talk to her about me and my progress with things.

I had my kids over and let my daughter summon Lilith with me.  Lilith took to her well.  My daughter said that someone was poking the side of her hip.  Lol.  I figure was either Erin or a spirit that accompanied Lilith.

When I summon Lilith I can hear her voice in my head.  Wow, if that doesn't sound mental.  But it's the way it works.  My daughter couldn't hear it, but could feel Lilith's energy just fine and knew she was there.

Am I mad?  Is it right to become chummy (with all due respect of course) with one's future demonolatry Matron?  I think so.  I don't think I'm more mad than others are who tread these paths.

She has warned me gently that I will learn other aspects of her I may not understand and will surely shudder... but it's necessary for me to see her past her title of "Mother".  She stated that she will reveal these aspects of herself over time and that it's important for her to do so since I want her as my future demonolatry Matron.

When will she become my Matron?  When I understand her and know her in all of her aspects, I will be ready for her.


Rafe GB.

Erin...  Just thinking about succubus stuffs.