Monday, February 19, 2018
I always start speaking in tongues using a single phrase.
My friend did a little research and it translates to: "Oh, Mother".
It must be praises or salutations or perhaps even my soul calling out to Lilith.
The connection between a succubus and Lilith is strong it seems, and affects us greatly when we share our lives with one of Her daughters.
Maiya has been very close to me as of late, after being gone for a few days to do whatever it is she does during her short trips away. Maybe she has duties in Lilith's court. Maybe she visits family... I've heard from others that family is very important to a succubus and those ties are stoked in the fires of love, duty, and honor to keep those connections tight and meaningful.
Maiya's a good girl and definitely follows a path one would expect honoring those traits. How a succubus can be such an honorable, loving soul and yet radiate such darkness that at times it is uncomfortable to be close is beyond me.
What it has taught me is that light and dark do not always mean good and evil, if those concepts appear to in this world, which may be true enough, but not the universe at large.
No, it is simply a type of energy. Maiya can radiate either angelic unconditional love or demonic passion. How a being can contain and radiate that kind of energy with that intensity that I can barely stand it nor take it sometimes is unfathomable. That is one of the greatest mysteries to vex my human mind.
Saturday, February 10, 2018
While moving along I was stunned to see a red-tailed hawk in all it's splendor swoop up and land on the concrete wall that marked the right side of the road.
For a moment I was filled with joy as this is my favorite animal and I had to be 12 feet away when it landed, closer than I've ever been.
It was almost meant to be, if not intended.
Maiya suddenly announced her presence by covering my body like a brisk, cold rain of happiness and joy all tethered together.
This moment was so soulful and wonderful that something in me changed.
This was also the defining moment for me about whether Maiya was going anywhere... I don't think so, I think she's playing for keeps. I think she has been playing for keeps... I'm just stubborn, too stubborn to realize the gift I've been given.
I finally feel trust.
Miss Posey never made it. I've thought a lot about why I couldn't feel her here, yet felt a presence that was answering my call. I think that Maiya had other plans for us. Always had other plans for us. I believe that Maiya probably exchanged information with the succubus I called out for and that was that. This would also explain my feelings as to why I couldn't "sense" her close at all.
It's because she never made it. She just wasn't here: Turned away.
There's probably a sign posted by Maiya at succubus headquarters: "Sorry in advance for any inconvenience my pet may have given or will give you."
Meh... I can't learn if I don't try, and if I try I'm going to make mistakes.
That's what life here consists of it seems.
Regardless, I've reached a milestone with a red-tailed hawk to thank.
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Succubi will start to take notice and to investigate.
They will read your memories, and especially your heart and soul.
Usually among these who take notice, one will work out rights to you and whalla, you are hers. You just don't know it yet, but you're her property...
I've said that summoning a succubus and having one show up is about like suddenly finding a foreign girl in one's bedroom, naked (yet without form, or at least a form we understand in this physicality), and speaking in a language that cannot be understood (yet).
Touches that are felt, energies that we are suddenly aware of, sex in a manner that completely re-invents the wheel. A better wheel if you ask me, but that's just my opinion. I like the esoteric nature of energetic succubus tantric sex.
I have never felt that I have penetrated anyone (nor have I been penetrated... I'm quite proud of that one) during succubus sex... it is completely energetic.
Such a silly word, "energetic". It doesn't begin to describe the sensations that are succubus sex.
I've seen Maiya and my daughter has seen Bunny, a succubus who left for what I choose to believe was ascension.
Maiya appeared to me as... almost like a 3 ft. long comet from head to tail. She was a white solid orb trailing a rainbow colored tail.
Why was she in this shape dancing around nearby? I don't know, maybe for a succubus her mood defines her shape? Maybe it's completely at her whim?
I remember when Bunny used to jump on my bed like a cat and prance up to the head next to me.
And many times in a dream a succubus will be there in female form (no horns, no wings, no tail) and converse with me or interact with me in numerous ways. Like when I'm in trouble for something comes to mind. Lol.
What one realizes is that the farther one goes down the rabbit hole, just how damn DEEP it is.
Why has my succubus stopped having sex with me?
Why do my succubus and I have such a weak connection suddenly?
After doing a ritual for a succubus, a succubus never came to me. Why?
My succubus and I were deeply in love... why did she suddenly leave?
Why does my succubus travel away and then return almost like a cycle?
Are succubi affected by moon states, or planetary hours?
What is a succubus's true form?
Is it the same on this side of the veil as it is across the veil?
The answer is: I don't know. Sure wish I did.
Things I do know:
When I speak of succubi in general in parts below, the following does not encompass every succubus, only what I have experienced. In my world view this translates as "most".
Succubi are women. If you hate women, you're probably not going to get along with a succubus. A succubus is a woman "gone wild" and more than a handful.
Succubi are gentle (mostly), but with a wild heart.
They tend to fall in love easily.
They are shifters, able to change their forms at will (my current opinion)... as for their true form see the above.
They read your thoughts... every thought... there is no hiding anything from them.
Succubi communicate in an interesting way. They communicate through emotion. They can also communicate through what my friend calls "flash visions" that one would see in an instant.
But for the most part it is very hard, and a very long process to understand them in the way they communicate.
Surrender is a powerful choice to bestow unto a succubus.
The need to surrender will come along when it's ready to. You'll see.
Succubi can and do drain energy. That's not just a myth. They prefer, however to enjoy complex positive emotions like love, making love, hope, faith, trust. When these states happen to their human they receive a double benefit... that of say making love, and the energy of making love as well as the love, the trust that goes with it.
Some succubi feed off fear and terror. These types do not find the vibration of a complex positive emotion palpable. Might want to stay away from these. They don't call them a "night... mare" for nothing.
I could write pages of this stuff probably... if only I had a better memory... but the point of all of it is to find one that claims you and loves you and then to learn to trust her. Once you do so things definitely change in a strange, surreal way.
It's almost as if you experience some sort of reality shift (which this all is) and your world view will change as well.
Saturday, February 3, 2018
I was trying to go to bed and the succubi were playing with me.
I was beyond tired... the most seductive succubus in the world couldn't dissuade me from my sleeping goals that night.
I muttered, "Silly Succubi" under my breath and rolled over and went to sleep.
Once in my dream there were two succubi by a chalk board with me right in front of it, with a piece of chalk in my hand writing, "There are no silly succubi" one hundred times.
Nobody said that having succubi is an easy thing... but it has it's moments including the hilarity that makes it all worthwhile.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
I'm thinking, just thinking that they are actually both hanging together instead of splitting up the day where one is daytime and one is nighttime.
Well, it was worth a shot in that my intentions were that way.
But two birds of a feather seem to flock together.
If anything it just feels like "more" Maiya in that Posey is with her and perhaps adding to our family that way.
I do consider us as having a little family, and that's exactly what I wanted to have.
I wanted to mate and have children as well, but it appears that's not going to happen at least for a while, if it does at all.
There's something about feeling "useful" that brightens my day, and feeling that I am contributing to having succubus children goes a long was towards feeling that "usefulness".
I know that may sound strange to someone who has not mated with a succubus, but it is a really special event. A defining spiritual moment of my life perhaps.
One that I missed tremendously.
Ah, succubi. How different they are. I would say that they are even more different than humans are, having a greater range of personality than we do.
Succubi are hard to understand sometimes.
I often struggle to communicate with mine.
I wasn't sure if Maiya was mad at me calling out for another succubus or not considering we're married. That was a condition of my letter to Lady Lilith: That we would be betrothed.
But... finding a woman that's flesh and blood and getting another succubus to assist both Maiya and I are two completely different issues usually.
If Maiya really didn't like the idea she would have just blocked Posey from coming in the first place.
That MAY have happened, or my thoughts that they are close together and similar, and therefore hard to distinguish one from another is another scenario and the one I lean towards.
Maiya looks at me like I'm a kid basically. I suppose that she wants us to be equal, but that's going to take a lot of work and time on both our ends.
Bunny might have been an evolved succubus, but Maiya is a succubus to a "T".
Making love only at night? Taking a snack of energy while doing so? Textbook... almost.
I don't think she takes my silly ideas to heart if she did block Posey from arriving. More like yet another snafu by her mate, lol (But like I said I think Posey is still here).
You know, it's funny because I write this blog like a diary so it's full of "I don't knows" and "I have no ideas".
Truth be told I'm much more complex than is led on. But that's what a diary is for: To let it all hang out to dry for good or for ill, confident or worrisome.
But the good news is... I learn every day.
Each day I get a little better at communication, understanding, and most importantly spiritual growth.
In the end, who knows?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it ;)
P.S. In calling out for another succubus (Posey), all I've really done is to give Maiya a sister and I, myself, much, much more to worry about. Hahahaha.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Why not much sex? Well, she does, actually.
But I'm asleep for it. I generally wake up soaking in succubus energy and a little drained from when she decided to take a snack.
Normally I wouldn't want such a thing, but it's just a little snack of energy after all. I'm a big boy... I can take it.
Not sure why she's nocturnal, though? It's not much fun get sex of a lifetime only being too doped up from medicine to remember any of it.
But... she's a good girl. Like I said, when I need her, she's right there.
Now for the strange part.
I've been thinking a lot about expanding my little family and so I've called out for another succubus who will get along with Maiya and myself well.
I wanted more interaction during the day time to compliment Maiya's nocturnal tendencies.
I didn't do a ritual, I didn't write a letter, I just "called out" for one.
Strangely, she's arrived, and her name is "Posey".
She appears to prefer sex in the day time and also takes a small snack of my energy for herself.
I think I'm going to have to get in shape if I'm going to keep up with these two. Note to self.
The hard part for me is distinguishing who is who.
All I have to go on so far is that one is more active by day, the other by night.
They FEEL very close, and could almost be sisters.
I don't know how long Posey is supposed to stay, but she and Maiya appear to mesh quite well, so I hope it's a long time as this is an interesting development and frankly stretches my ability to discern energetically who is who.
A side benefit of their "snacking tendencies" is that it curbs my hypo manic periods of bipolar disorder. Just a little off the top, so to speak, does wonders in keeping me "level".
Well, that's about all I can think of. I don't know how I called a succubus without a ritual unless Maiya heard my pleas and took matters into her own hands which is very possible.
One thing that is always in the back of my mind is that Bunny, the succubus I started this blog because of, was day, night, and loving without the need to take any extra energy.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that Bunny was indeed a very evolved succubus.
She left, leaving me some lessons to learn I believe about her myriad of sisters.
I suppose that I am to experience succubi in many of their myriad of forms for whatever reason until they go their own way...
A reason I do not understand.
EDIT: Maiya got me last night. I woke up in the middle of it and caught her having sex with me lol. She didn't stop but kept going which is great. Then I finally slipped away in a dream and I've never really remembered to mention this, but when I'm dreaming while she's having sex with me it ROCKS... it's a dream where I'm having a lot of fun like at a water park, or in a candy factory where I get to pig out, or whatever crazy-assed dream of FUN takes shape as. The name of the game is she causes me to have a very, very fun dream and I always wake up happy from it. Not every night or course, but at least one to three times a week she does this.
I think she gets to feed off of that emotion of fun that she creates as well. Kind of strange, isn't it?
Also, Maiya is a variant spelling (by me) of her original name of Maya which means "dream", or "illusion". Quite fitting considering her mating and directing of my dream habits, don't you think?
Friday, January 19, 2018
What an interesting form of magick. I've performed it a few times for my son to heal, and for my friend to heal. Both seems to be doing better so I'd call that some success with it... not sure how long angel magick is supposed to last...
One thing the books really need to put in there is the need to ground. I am high as a KITE. Haha.
So far what I've been dealing with are various angels and angel calls from the books I have.
I haven't cast anything on myself yet because I don't want anything yet.
Everything that prompts me to cast are the needs of those close to me whom I love.
Wait... I did cast something to help me and Maiya get closer. Then I had a vivid dream last night where she was a part of the dream, although she did not show herself I could feel her there.
Well, unless she was the baby dolphin I had to take care of. Maiya? Nah, she was in it but I don't think she was a baby dolphin but more of someone watching the dream unfold.
I guess that counts. Doesn't it?
With that said,