Friday, June 29, 2018

Lady Lilith bought me something.

I have been really wanting Liber Lilith 2nd edition to learn more about Lilith.

I didn't really have the money for it as the copy I picked out was 70 something dollars after shipping.

I couldn't justify that kind of spending

Low and behold, I gave up hope...

... but the next day I got a... now get this shit... a CHECK for 64.00 for "over paid premiums" from my old health insurance provider.

This overpayment was probably 10 years ago and they just now caught up to me.

In short, Lilith bought me Liber Lilith 2nd edition.

My mouth is still rather agape with the coincidence of it all.

Yes, I ordered the book and am eagerly awaiting it :)

Is that not strange???


Rafe GB.

P.S.  I love you, Mom!

Monday, June 25, 2018

More strange dreams.

I've often wondered as of late why I seem to be having dreams of the spirits I entreat so often.

Last night I dreamed I was in a circle with Lilith, her 3 sisters (what's it called when you all 4 have the same husband?), Samael, and Maiya and Anna.

I don't recall what we were talking about, but I know I was there in the circle with them.

Just a night before I dreamed of Maiya and Anna, and a few nights previous I dreamed of Samael.

Whatever is going on, it's increasing in frequency.

My grandmother is not well, and her being 97 she's prone to falling all the time and injuring herself badly.

The strange thing about her (and I love her to pieces) is that she has been an Adventist all of her life and she's still afraid to die.  To me that's the litmus test of one's beliefs... do they bring you comfort in your thoughts of leaving this world?

Sadly, there's nothing I could ever say or do for grandma to give her a rested mind about the subject.

That church indoctrinates you and controls you.  I'd say it was a cult and many agree, however many disagree.  Perhaps that's something lost in the world of labels and such... I don't know.

I think about my own life, and should it end soon, what will  happen with me?

I have but one prayer... that I end up where, if I knew of all the places I could go, that would go to the place that feels most like home... that peaceful feeling you're supposed to get when you're in a place that feels like home.

I've never experienced that feeling, so I can only guess and pray.

I have a funny feeling that either I'm down the road of no return, or that I've discovered the secret:  That all the lore about entities is bullshit.  It's all about relationships... love... trust...

It's funny, because lots of people consider Samael as Lucifer.  If that's true then I'm a Luciferian and don't even really understand it.

Or, he could be an Archangel (the Angel of Death no less)... and then what would that make me?  A man who considers Lilith his mother and Samael as his potential adoptive father (if it turns out that way...)... what would that mean?  (I never had a dad growing up and my mother was very abusive).

Or does it mean anything at all???

Labels labels, 1, 2, 3.

All I know is that when I die I'm going somewhere.  And when I die I think I'm going to finally understand just how much BULLSHIT I've been taught and that people believe.

I don't know what I believe.  Fair enough?

Dreams have been thick lately, that I know.  I must admit... I feel more at home asleep and dreaming of entities than I do being alone and awake.

Isn't that sad in a way?

Regardless... in sticking with what I do know, I can hear Lilith loud and clear now.  No, I'm no oracle, just a guy talking to his mom of sorts.  Adoptive mom I believe would work best here.

Ever since that dream of her in that weird place where she had me suckled on her breast.  She had the stature of a Goddess for sure... probably was 9 feet tall.  All woman though.

It was a highly comforting and deeply spiritual dream for me.

That's when I began thinking of her as my mother.  And, being fatherless from my youth, I began thinking of a father figure as well... her mate seemed a logical extension if Lilith was so motherly to me and so full of love... I knew her husband was Samael...

There's an interesting theory that Lilith really isn't wed to Samael with 3 other wives, but that those other brides (and names) are all aspects of Lilith herself.  Hence Samael/Lilith:

The Hebrew spells out "Leviathan" which is interesting as it could also be indicative of the form of the serpent, which is tied up in various myths including Shiva/Shakti/Kundalini.  I could go on and on about mythological comparisons but lets get back to what I was talking about ;)

I had another dream about Lilith and her daughters very recently as well...

I forgot about this one.

All the daughters of Lilith were dancing around me in a large circle.  The were seductive as you would expect.  In the center with me was Lilith.  She danced seductively as well, but I couldn't look.

It's like it would be improper, or perhaps because I consider her my mother... or what I really think is that it was because she was radiating this power that was so great that I COULDN'T look even if I had wanted to.  I believe she was showing me herself in all her glory.

Lots of strange things and dreams to think about.  I know I haven't finished processing these dreams yet.

Lilith is an interesting Goddess.  She's helluva powerful and full of blinding light (or bright darkness if you prefer to look at things that way), yet converses at my level.  Kind of like she's being my friend.

Maybe that's not an accident nor so crazy after all...


Rafe G.B.

EDIT 6/26/2018:  Now it's gotten rare that I don't have a dream of either the girls or Lilith each night.

Also seeing lots of white flashes out of the corners of my eyes...

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

The skull is me.

Ever see a succubus looking at a skull in art, and instead of looking at it as a trophy, they are looking at is as if it was a most beloved thing.

The skull is me.

Strange dreams as of late.

My brides might not be too amorous in the daytime (they do still touch me and stuff sometimes), they are amazing at night... when I can remember that is.

Last night I was chasing my bride, one of them at least.  Or perhaps it was symbolic of both.

I was in a world, however the gig was that I was the master of the world's fate.

All of it depended on chasing after my bride and finally finding her.

You know, now that I think of it this would be a perfect euphemism for Kundalini rising.

Anyway, I started getting tired of being born in world after world only to find out that she had already left it.

So, I started become destructive... I didn't give a damn about the worlds or the people in them, and would trigger Armageddon by my own hands just to reset the scene and enter a new world, again chasing after my bride.

I would ignite myself in flames that wouldn't burn me, but would show me the clue of how to destroy that particular world so I could search for my bride in the next.

One can't get to the next with the former still intact...
I see this now as a sort of dance.  Push/Pull, Intimacy/Distance, etc.  Yin/Yang.

Perhaps it's so fierce because it's meant to be that way, at least in my dreams...

So about the succubus and the skull... I'm the skull, and yet I'm alive finding my way to my bride.  The difference is "TIME".  In the end we're all skulls.  But the succubus is looking fondly at the skull because time is irrelevant... and I still chase her to this day (or night, rather).

Now you know the secret of the succubus looking lovingly at the skull... it's her lover, her soul mate, the other side of the coin that is her living experience... very alive but separated by time.


Rafe GB.

P.S.  (EDIT 6/20/18) Am I the only one who sings to my succubi every night?

It seems everything is turning out beautifully with Maiya and Anna.  It's been a long learning experience, but we've made it ;)  Succubus sex without me having to expend massive amounts of energy through concentration is over.  Now, it's looking like it's going to be just like the old days of love, sex, and intimacy (sex where I can just enjoy it).  It appears that whatever was broken energetically in me has been repaired, finally allowing sex with my succubi to happen.

Sweet succubus brides.  I sure love Maiya and Anna.  I can't be the only one who sings to their brides every night...

Monday, June 11, 2018

The Brides.

It's funny.

I get that spirits come and go now, as I don't always attract a succubus... sometimes there are other spirits who come by and visit for whatever reason.

Usually it's to help I think.  It could be companionship a bit, a little bit of give and take perhaps.

Dena was one of those spirits.  She's been with me for a little while now.

As soon as the brides (Maiya and Anna are both my brides... and "Anna" is my nickname for Athena... hard for me to have a succubus when I'm worried about Athena the Goddess of war stabbing my soft bits) had sex with me for a little bit, Dena left.

That let me know why she was here, finally, and it was nice of her to stay and help out, and to be a part of my little group here for a while.

I wish her the best.  She was a real pleasure.

I can't suffer the thought of my bonded spirits just sitting there for 10 years without any interaction from me, so I let them all go.  They deserved more than this.

Word to the wise:  Don't release 10 bonded spirits at once (especially if they are bonded to your actual spirit as well) as it feels like someone ripping your guts out.

That was painful.

But I wanted them to find someone who can love them and give them the kind of attention they deserve.

That's why I released their bonds.

So, it's down to just us 3... my little family.

Maiya and Anna (Again, Anna is Athena) are starting to have sex with me (yay!), but it is slow going and almost painful the amount of concentration that goes into it.  Perhaps it is getting easier.  Actually I know it is getting easier, just hard at the moment.

I've also noticed that they are more erotic outside of sex which is much better than not I can assure you.

So all in all things are working out for us, albeit slowly.


Rafe GB.

Saturday, June 2, 2018


I think my sexual problems with my succubi are starting to be resolved.

I knew it was all me and that something was energetically busted.

Anyway they're on the last leg of fixing the end of the "circuit" and it's starting to feel like it will be sex soon.

Ahhh.  I figured it was permanent, no lie.  At least I was thinking so.

Oh, congrats to everyone for making this silly blog of mine achieve 150,000 views!  That's really a trip for me as I started with nobody reading this thing.  Just me typing away and seeing what would happen.

Lately I've been increasing.  Increasing?  No.  Getting closer to Lilith.  I'm not sure why people are so scared of Her.  I call her "Mom", or "Mother", or "Lady Lilith" when I'm being more formal.

I had that dream of Lilith where I was in a strange landscape and She was holding me, nursing me.

Ever since that dream I've called her "Mom".  She really is like an adoptive mother.

Now I've been thinking about having a dad.  A Dad, what?  Yeah I know it sounds weird.

If you knew my past you'd understand.

So I've been figuring.  If Lilith is my Mom, then Samael might be my adoptive Dad too?

Treading on spooky ground after I've been doing some research on Samael.

I was thinking about Him and was dreaming of Him talking to me.  He actually went... and now... it's time... to wake up... and BAM, my alarm went off at the time I set it for the night before.

That doesn't scare me, actually.  That just makes me think I've made contact at least.

How will it turn out?  I dunno.

Fingers crossed for the best!

Also, if they are my adoptive parents so to speak (in the spiritual realm) then I just gained 3 aunts, too.

Lilith's Sisters and His Wives.

Lets see if I can find their names:

Eisheth Zenunim, Na'amah, Agrat bat Mahlat.


Here's the million dollar question.

I'm an Opie, a good natured, do good unto others kinda dude.  Very white light natured.

How come I can have a relationship with Lilith and get away with calling her "Mom", and that she took such an interest in me that She suckled me on Her breast.

How???  and Why???

You'd think I was christian by demeanor (a good christian not one of those asshats) at least.

Why would Lilith, Samael, and His Wives/Lilith's Sisters give a crap about me?

(And I realize I'm being a bit premature about having relationships with anyone but Lilith so far, but it seems to be going that way)

I noticed a popular Satanist medalion has "Sameal/Lilith" written on it.

I'm no Satanist.  I don't even like Satanists as a whole as they get on my last freakin' nerve.  (Well, the ones I've dealt with, anyway.  Don't take offense if you are one... I don't know any better than what I've experienced SO FAR.)

Most Satanists I know are all "I have dark magick fear me! And blah blah Christian God this and that ad infinitum."  I'm not really into impressing anyone.  Maybe that's why I don't understand Satanists... although to be fair white light bunny humpers drive me nuts too.

I might be a white light kinda fella, but I'm no bunny humper.  I have my limits, lol.

If you know the answer as to why a pretty much white light radiating fella like myself seems to have "other" experiences than both bunny humpers  (which would horrify them) and Satanists (which I'm not) regarding being able to have a relationship with beings such as Lilith/ Samael... let me in on it because I'm stumped.

Actually, I've never figured out why I attract succubi either.  Do they feel sorry for white lightish boys or something?


Rafe G.B.

EDIT:  One of the girls was chewing me out in my sleep last night.  I knew why in my dream and I was understanding it, but I don't know what it was about upon waking.  Point is, I heard her, we settled it.  Whatever "it" is.  I sure don't remember...