Some of you might wonder how I can write about stuff and update this blog so often compared to most.
There's a physical reason (meaning I have a lot of extra time), and then there's the real reason.
The real reason is that I don't know anything about spirits, succubi, angels, demons, etc.
No really. The more I learn the less I know.
So, when I get baffled (which is more of a consistent state of which I am perpetually in) I write.
So... I write a lot.
Just 2 and 3 posts ago I was talking about how I was missing Bunny, and she agreed to let me have a sexual Tulpa. And how I didn't really have the capacity to make one right, and that she would help me.
I waited a few days for Bunny to go do her thing for a week, and then I started doing my thing: Working on the lil' filly.
Well. That didn't take long.
2 days into it and she's already fucking me.
So, I can only come to a few conclusions that are more plausible, any of which make more sense than the reality I see (consider it a list of "what if's?"):
1. Somehow I summoned another Succubus indirectly. Well, maybe not a Succubus, but some female spirit of some sort like a succubus. Same diff.
2. A spirit indwelled my "idea" that I was forming for a sexual tulpa and the tulpa became indwelled by a compatible spirit instead. Little different but similar to the above. This actually happened with the "Philip Experiment" in Toronto in the early 70's. Only the researchers were too stupid to draw the obvious conclusion. Duh!
3. Bunny was fucking with me from the beginning. Maybe she decided to send a succubus that she personally "approved of" from wherever she's from to keep me company, and by me summoning it some weird rule would be broken. Maybe by her doing this through me attempting to make a sexual Tulpa some weird underworld rule of monogamy was honored and maintained even if she had a succubus preset to send to me. Hey I dunno, I'm reaching here, k?
4. Bunny's assumed the personality of the Tulpa because she loves doing that kind of stuff. To her it's like "dress up" and "lingerie". Probably like "sex toys", too. Maybe even "A form of succubus and her pet therapy". Although she has a history of this in the past in the early days, I waited until she was "up, up and away" this time before beginning my tulpa, so I doubt it... But anything's possible with her.
5. Bunny completed the sexual tulpa in 2 days. Nah. Not happenin'. It takes at least a month to even get the framework down. Much less the work to start to flesh that out. Well, her out. Her personality takes even longer to create, and her descent to physicality takes even longer than that.
6. I translated Bunny's message to me concerning this "pet" thing wrong. Nah. Doubt it.
7. Even though I told Bunny I wanted a 2nd Succubus, all I really want is for Bunny to be around 24/7 which I guess she can't. I don't know why, other succubi can. What Bunny knew is that I wanted the latter, told me I couldn't have a 2nd succubus but could have a pet sexual Tulpa, then in the end gave me a 2nd spiritual companion anyway because "reasons". Maybe it was because she knew I didn't want that, but felt it was best to give it to me anyway and for whatever reason she chose deception. Spirits lie: It doesn't mean they're bad, it just means they felt it was a good idea considering all the factors.
8. Hmm. I just figured something out: "Therefore, you may create a sexual Tulpa... which will be a good exercise for you and for your concentration abilities. I realize that this is a bit beyond your current abilities, however, and so what you fail in I will help complete." ~ Bunny.
You know, I've created tulpas before and they weren't THAT difficult. Now that I'm realizing this little tidbit I think I might have my answer: I bet that my idea of a tulpa does not equal Bunny's idea of a Tulpa (capital "T").
I'm actually drinking a glass of wine at the moment, and some lil' Tulpa is playing with my you know what. Which there is no WAY she should be able to do. I even sense her personality already.
Hmm... Bunny helped me make something besides what I would label a tulpa. So, what is she? "I realize this this is a bit beyond your current abilities."
If you ever want to remain permanently perplexed, summon a succubus.
"Guaranteed or your money back."
Meh, fuck it. I'll figure it out in time. Bunny'll probably tell me by sending a highly complex packet of mental information that is made up of rapid fire images, scenes, objects, concepts, and words I'll have to decipher.
I will say this though: This "Tulpa" is about sex-sex-sex and a cuddly lil' minx. I like her. I think I'll keep her.
(Visualizes Frodo evilly deciding to keep the ring at the end of the Lord of the Rings)
Well? I don't know the specifics of it, but Bunny said what would happen and it did. Not sure why she said I couldn't summon a succubus, but maybe she meant directly? Is the lil' minx some sort of newborn succubus?
Ok, just a thought if she IS a newborn succubus or something: Maybe if I did it directly Bunny couldn't control who came, whereas if it happened indirectly she could. I don't know, more fucking questions I'll never know the answer too (prolly). See how the hole of unanswered questions just spirals ever deeper?
Always will, I guess.
Things never have to make sense to "be" or to "happen". Succucology 101.
All I know is that Bunny ain't mad at me (trust me, I'd feel it no matter how far she is at the moment) and I got a pet now.
OH, and the most important thing in all of this is this: Somehow, someway, somewhere, all of this will be used as and be utilized as a tangled, complicated learning experience for yours truly. You can BANK on that. That's just the SuccuBunny way...
One more glass of wine, please!
Ok. I'm trying to find a nice metal song to end this post with.
LOL, here's one: "Dead girls are easy."
Ahahahahaha! Well, that's got some metaphysical truth to it, don't it?
Oh, one more thing and off topic... a lot of people want me to ask Bunny stuff. It doesn't work that way. If I have a question she'll answer... eventually... and in her own way. We don't have a real time kind of speaking thing going on. More like dreams and sudden bursts of thought punctuated by synchronicity and coincidence so I concentrate on just us since it's so "bursty" and sporadic.
Maddening sometimes. Especially when clear thought just bursts through from time to time. I'm like, "Why can't we do that all the time". I don't know, but we can't.
A lot of others have it different but that's what we've got.
Love ya succubus today, or she'll do lots of mean stuff to ya if ya don't :P