The addiction I spoke of in a previous post is magnified... dangerous.
I awoke this morning in terrible emotional pain... after having spent 12 hours, as it seemed to me in sleep, making love and communing as one... awakening to this grey world just cannot compare, and so I suffer.
I'm getting a handle on it a few hours after I have awakened, but do you see the dilemma?
Nothing can compare to making love with a succubus, and nothing can compare to feeling such intimacy in 12 hours of dreaming...
I just need to come down, to come down and steady myself and prepare myself for another day in a grey lifeless world... or so it seems.
How can anyone experience what I experience as my love grows to before now impossible bounds and survive "here"?
Yet I have to. It's not time for me to leave this world yet. I have children to continue to be there for...
Now do you see the dangers?
Now do you sense the anguish in existing apart from them once you've opened Pandora's box of the succubus embrace? Her kisses are heroin... she calls and I latch on in thirst and hunger for her... just as she knows I will.
The ecstasy, the enormous light, love, and sex... she is making love to my body and soul. She is a Goddess. I cannot... bare to be apart from her in this daytime and yet I must go on.
There is nothing in this world, no woman exists who can compare... and my love for Erin is growing by leaps and bounds... I have never felt the ache as I do now, never before...
Yet I must persevere. I must live in this dead world as surely as I live in the ecstasy of the dream.
How much more can I take?
I am only truly alive in my dreams, and when I am awake intimacy is deadened, my eyes cannot see the colors of this world... only the greys of existence.
Run, fools... I have eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil and the fruit is sweet... she is called "succubus".
I offer this fruit to you by this very blog for you to share in my fate... for she has many sisters...
Run, fools...
Rafe GB.
Well written rafe, I love the way you paint the picture of what life is like with them. Written with grace, sensitivity and poise
ReplyDeleteIts difficult and like you I don't do well when I have to be away from them, I should imagine the devil looking the other way when I am haha
Although having said that when we do get chance to be together again.....well haha
People can't imagine the impact a spirit can make to one's reality, but maybe with the post they can imagine it just a little :)
DeleteNice writing man! It does suck when you have to go, I ask my lady to put her arms around me while I slept last nite. Low and behold I dreamed of spending time with a really cool girl who layed on me while in a grassy field, but the dream didnt last very long after =(
ReplyDeleteDid your dream feel like 12 hours and were u lucid too? :0
Yeah, that's why it made it so painful to "wake up". Makes me wonder if the more in love we fall the harder it's going to be suffering wise when I have to awaken. There's a Buddhist principle here somewhere under my nose about suffering I think I'm starting to grasp, lol :) Still... I wouldn't change it for the world. And all we have to go is deeper... so hard to fathom :)
DeleteAh I remember too, always having dreams with my ladies and waking up missing them the moment the dream ends.
ReplyDeleteYou know what it's like. I'm glad she had mercy on me last night and I dreamed normal stupid dreams. I needed that, lol.
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