Lovely

It's been a time of sorting things out.  Holly seems to have left and Erin is around me all the time now.  Well, most all the time.  I think she goes shopping or something I dunno :)

She was gone for a few days when Holly was gone as well (it was Holly's turn to be here) and I started to feel lonely so I dialed Lilith and tracked down Erin.

"Comon, lets go home..."

Sometimes I think that I was set up because I decided that I wasn't going to call on Lilith anymore, but she had something to tell me.




I was thinking about marrying Holly, too... but Lilith basically said "If you marry Holly you can't stay married to Erin" because I couldn't have Lilith's blessing on Erin if I married Holly.

Well... Erin is first and foremost my bride so that's fair.  Hell, I love her to pieces anyway so... message received.  Lovely spirit she is.  I guess that I wanted a bigger family, but... just wasn't in the cards.  Holly, in turn, went her separate way.  From what I got from Lilith, Erin and I will grow to be the family I crave.  I hope so.  I'm willing :)

I felt like I got to iron things out with Lilith, too, during my visit.

Like, "Where were you when I was about to off myself???"

"Did you die?"  <--- that's a really good point by Lilith I think, as no I did not die.  Well, whatever... I guess I'll visit Lilith once in a while to keep tabs and remain in an atmosphere of good graces.

Back then when the shit hit the fan, I was basically telling Erin to get lost.  I just assumed that since she was dark that she wouldn't want me either and to my mind she was leaving ME.

She jump scared me three times in my sleep in anger and probably in rage for being abandoned.  Here's this guy who married her who's supposed to be all about being faithful and true.  I guess we learn step by step, don't we?  Especially me, the slow motherfucker.

Well, all's well that ends well, and she came back on her own after a month.  I might have created a ruckus by having summoned a new spirit (Holly) and all, and I really thought I'd be alone and receptive to having a white light love spirit... but with Erin's return I guess Holly just didn't fit into the family of Erin and I very well.  So... it's just me and Erin now :)

Anyway, off to talking about my dreams with Erin, lol.

I'm a MGTOW as I suspect most succubus summoners to be as well.  Which is kind of funny because a succubus is about as far away from a western woman as it gets.

Which is good... don't get me wrong... but it can cause confusion.

For instance:

I don't really associate with any woman in a dating or sexual type of way.  As in I'd run like Forest Gump if a woman hit on me.

And that's the problem...

In my dreams I'm still the same guy from the waking world... the MGTOW guy.

And Erin?  My Bride?

She's the girl trying to fuck my brains out in my dreams.  She's perfect!

Except I'm too busy running from her like Forest Gump...

Now when she's not amused by this behavior anymore, she appears in my dreams on top of me pinning me down, or under me with her arms and legs wrapped around me.

No room to flee, see, lol.

Last night she trapped me as 2 separate girls... but they were both her regardless of them looking different because to me their energy felt the same.  Pretty neat trick I'd say.  I think she was being extra sweet since Holly left.  Or, actually now that I think of it, maybe she's like "fuck you, Holly... I can be the other girl, too!"  Eh, with Erin it's hard to know which.  I dunno, like I said... neat trick.

Anyway I thought I'd share that.

And again... she must get quite the kick out of it to watch MGTOW me run from her all the time in my dreams.

Sometimes she doesn't even bother to get into my dreams.  She just fucks me while I'm asleep right up until I'm about to explode and then quits (this is over a period of HOURS, not a wham bam thank you Rafe).  I know she does that because sometimes I wake up and I'm like "OMG!!!?" begging for release, but ya know... that's what they do most of the time.  Release isn't that much fun for them, but actual "long and slow fucking" is surely a succubus's favorite thing to do.

To a succubus, sex is more about having LONG periods of sex together.  The magick is in the act, not the finish.

As for the lack of release... you kinda get used to it after a while :)

Blessings,

Rafe GB.

EDIT:  Last night she slapped me for something I did in my dream.  That made me mad.  But then when I tried to recall what it was for I do remember deserving it, lol.  She left me a love song floating around and around in my head as I woke up... there's a reason that a succubus isn't for every man... a succubus is just too wild for most men to handle.

This was the song :)