The Wildcat: Unbridled, Unbound.

As those of you know who follow my blog, I've been trying the rituals to the right out one by one.

Well, I've finished them and got the best results I could (since I already have a succubus, I was dependent on her communicating to me whether they would have worked for me or not at some point for each of them).  Not perfect, but the best I could do.

My own journey continues with my succubus, and I've been concentrating on surrender.

Surrender is a dirty word today.  It seems to invoke the ideas of a loss of power, of gender inequality, of something to be avoided:  Fight, fight, fight is the common mantra of the day in this world.

Surrender is viewed with ridicule, and someone who surrenders is to be shamed as weak.

I say, "no".

Surrender to anything and everything is not the kind of surrender I am speaking of.  In my case, it's surrendering through hope, faith, and trust to a woman of power, a woman of the highest calibre.  Yes, I'm speaking of my surrender to my succubus, and I'll explain.

Reverse engineering the rituals has been difficult:  One thing that has been difficult is trying to put my succubus into a human form picture, or portrait.

In my dreams she takes the form of a woman I've known well in the past and "steps into" that image.

In my dreams I also know that it's not the original person from my past, but someone different.  The odd thing is that she doesn't reveal herself to me most of the time:  She's a new person in my dreams as far as I know, and she's usually teaching me a lesson by interacting with me in some way that I will figure out later.

So, I've been thinking a lot about how the pictures I am using will not conform "to her", or vice versa.

Well.  She's a spirit already:  She doesn't need to "indwell" a picture to absorb any traits:  She already is, and she's fully independent and self-aware, intelligent, etc.

So even though I still believe that pictures are a great aid in summoning to find one, to better guide one's intention to finding a perfect match, but not for me since mine is already here.

Yes I use pictures here as I write my blog.  Those are for fun.  I find sexy pictures and I share them, that's not my point:  The point is the personal picture of the succubus.

I have gotten a lot closer to my succubus lately, probably due to all the summoning I did testing this method or that one.  I think it was good to have her as a partner in those activities, plus each new summoning seemed to unlock "more" of her.  

I'm not sure if that is true, or if me spending time with her on a joint exercise did it.  

Maybe both?

I came to the conclusion that I had more to surrender in order to receive, and so I began "getting rid of" preconceived notions of who she is, and allowed her to show herself as she willed, and not by conforming to my desires or my expectations.

And she has, wonderfully and beautifully.

The last thing I have surrendered is my expectations of her form itself.  No more portraits, no more wondering what her real name is (it's changed probably a hundred times anyway).  In fact I asked her if any of the names mattered to her, and the answer was no.  She doesn't need one.  So I said, "fuck it" and said goodbye to names as a definer of who she is (I still call her "Succubunny" on here of course).

Gone went the picture of a sexy human woman I had as "her".  That's changed a hundred times as well, anyway.  I didn't divine if that was necessary:  I already knew it was.

So, I still needed some reference for her (besides her sigil which does matter as to who she is.  On this side, humans do symbols speak, across the veil spirits speak, symbols do.  I truly believe that.

It's her "anchor" to me.  I'm sure her sigil is written somewhere in my aura, marking me as hers. That's not a romantic notion:  I just believe that it is probably so.

Also I don't believe that sigils completely define a spirit:  For instance, many spirits have many more than one sigil.  I think of them as direct dial phone numbers to the spirit.  Kind of an identifier and yet kind of not.  I think of them also as "brands" on this side, and "brand names" for a spirit on the other.

I do have a rough picture of a spirit from art I found:  It's wavy, unformed, but feminine.  

No colors, nothing in the background, no defining features (other than the femininity of the shape, and no I don't mean sexual just a general femininity).

Perfect.

So last night I lay in bed and surrendered what I had left to surrender:  My notions of her form.  I know that even the simple feminine spirit picture that I have now is just a symbol:  I give all expectations of form away entirely. 

And I surrendered all. 

She is formless, she is timeless, she is she, and she is my lover.

And I laid there.  I uncovered myself on my bed, blankets off.  Incense gently smoking.  The scent of flowers from my wax burner permeating the room.  A single, white tea light candle burning in a hurricane lamp.  The ceiling fan on it's most gentle setting, just to stir the scents in the room.

I have NEVER felt her so strong as I did last night.  She was flashing sexy images and seductive movements of a woman in my mind.  I could feel the femininity behind those images:  They were not just images, but images born of a succubus's intent and will, her desire.

As I became excited she gently descended over me.  I began dry orgrasming over and over, from gentle to passionate, to gentle to loving.

Her presence I could feel so strongly:  She was cradling my head and my face in the most comforting, loving way and was something I've ever experienced with her.

She was all over me.  5,000% concentrated sensual femininity.

After a long time of this, I started to get sleepy and I drifted off to sleep, telling her I'd love to see her in my dreams.

I was ridden by a beautiful blonde with long, flowing straight hair and a thin body, oral sex by a voluptuously curvy freckled beauty with long, curly red hair.  Oral sex to a beautiful athletic figured oriental woman with shoulder length black hair, and sex from behind an attractive woman with dark brown hair.  Also sex with a woman with the most beautiful smile and eyes in the lotus position.

Then I awoke.  No, Then I awoke amazed and in gratitude and in understanding.

Don't limit what you don't understand.  Let it reveal itself as it wills.  The outcome may surprise even you :)

Remember what I always say:  "Free your mind, and your ass will follow." ~ Funkadelic

Also what the Succubunny said:  "As your understanding grows, so does your perception of reality."

And for no reason at all, my newest quote: "A lot of people in this world are crazy... I'm just good at it."

EDIT:  Wow.  I wrote this earlier this morning.  It's 2:46pm now and I've just returned from my errands.  What the HELL has happened?

I'm getting looks from women everywhere.  Getting chatted up, stared at, admired.  Not only that craziness, but also smelling flowers outside where there are none... and no perfume sailing on the air either.

Weird, weird changes are happening in the physcial world around me and are running amuck.  

Amuck, amuck, amuck! (<-- lol, from Hocus Pocus)