Saturday, May 14, 2016

A New Milestone, a New Perception

Tonight I want to share some things that have been on my mind lately.  I have been with my succubus for about 2 and 1/2 years now.

I remember a blogger who went on a radio show to talk about sex with spirits.  The show host, I can't remember her name but she was some sort of psychic, tore him down piece by piece about his experiences.

It created a lot of waves in the human/succubus community, I do remember that.  Honestly I think it's because many of us could hear and realize what she was doing.

I was just beginning my journey with a succubus right when it happened, and I really didn't know much about anything (still don't, just a drop in the bucket).

I would guess that he had some deep doubts, and being that he said that his relationship with the succubus started turning violent and oppressive, I think some mental issues/stressors were probably to blame.

You all know that I suffer from mental illness.  I've mentioned it already (Bipolar 1). So I'm sure as hell not suggesting that a mental illness might have been a factor in order to bring him shame:  Hell no.

In fact, I had read a lot of what he wrote on his blog previous to the incident, and was using that to help me grasp something to help me in my first steps with a succubus.

The psychic could have steered him to an actual mental professional and did the right thing, but no. She was a greedy attention seeking whore.  She went for a riske topic of sex with spirits, landed him to come on and talk about his experiences, and she roasted him for it.  She knew what she was gonna do.

Now I feel kind of like I'm where he was, about 2 years in give or take, I find myself asking myself some hard questions.

(EDIT:  I just found out that he is back and with his succubus (See the comments).  You have NO idea how estatic I feel right now.  I just added his blog to the resources on the right of this page, "Alchemy through Fire".  Here's a link:)


Ok, back to it:

You want the honest, naked truth of what I've discovered?

Here it is.

I believe that my succubus is a perfect representation of my own anima.  Since like attracts like, my succubus is the vibrational frequency that is exactly the same as my anima.

"As above, so below".

What does that mean?

It means that as I love her, as I bond with her, as I surrender to her (my succubus), I am set free.

Loving my succubus has allowed my own anima to come forward in my life in a powerful way.

In embracing her "above" I freed my anima "below" which is vibrationally the same.

My succubus is powerful (as they all are), and my own subconcious mind is powerful.

So's yours.




I think that this is very rare for someone to be able to do that here on earth with an earthy woman, and that goes both ways:  There are very few out there who marry their twin flame.

Most of the time relationships either wither and die, or end up a no holds barred divorce fest in the end.

It's very rare to see a true twin flame pairing here on earth.  I'll tell you what though, when I see it, when I experience how that love is timeless, I celebrate it.  It is a rare and wonderful thing to see.

All relationships take work.  Even with a succubus or incubus.  Same as with my Anima:  Doesn't mean no conflict ever.  Hell, I fight with my own mind sometimes.

But... the difference is beyond palpable between a twin flame relationship and everything else. There's just no contest.

With a succubus or an incubus we are able to do just that.  If you are a woman with an incubus, and bond the same, your animus will do the same with you.  This isn't a gender specific phenomenon but one available to all lovers of a succubus or an incubus.

Let that sink in a bit and think about male/female relationships in the world today.




Picture break:  I'm glad the Bunny doesn't have a scythe. ^  Keeping the peace would take on a whole new level of  urgency.


I feel balanced and complete:  I feel liberated, I feel empowered.

You know what the funny thing about being "empowered" is?  How everyone says this or that is "empowering"?

No, it isn't.  Empowerment means that power given is received, which in this case is a true use of the word "empowerment".

What I listed is just the beginning of what I have been given.  Although they are "my eyes" my perception of how I see the world is through myself and my anima at the same time:  That of my conscious mind, and that of my female anima... at the same time.  It's very enlightening.

It gets wonky because, as I said, I think I was able to do this because of my succubus, in embracing her "above" I freed my anima "below" which is vibrationally the same.

At any rate, my perceptions SEEM to be a blend of the two now, working in harmony, in concert.




No, I haven't found enlightenment (unless it's tacos).

No, I don't wanna fuck men now.  No, I don't wear dresses.  I have learned to sew, though (I made my own altar cloth).  And I've become quite crafty making things (which being a magickal practicioner saves me money).

And the weirdest thing is that I get free shit.  I can't count the times I go to store and get a discount at the register for no reason.  None at all.  It's always a woman cashier and I've even had one tell me "you're paying this and that's what you're paying"... I paid 6 bucks for 12 bucks full of tumbled minerals for magick... and I didn't even say anything...

Just bizzare.  But I feel... better, more whole, more everything.  I just see things more balanced, more with all of me, instead of just the part of me that was before.

Just do it, already.  If my bipolar ass can feel this good about it, surely you normal fuckers will feel even better than I do once it happens for you.

There is one thing in the back of my mind that puzzles me:  I've never heard of this happening before. Evidently it does.  Why hasn't it been talked about?  Or is my 1st degree black belt in Google fu slipping?




Anyhoo, enough preaching.  Oh, see that pic above ^?  The Succubunny's given me that look a LOT in our few years together. Well, at least I've felt her give it.  I can feel her emotions, too.  Too bad I can't see her but it's okay:  Feeling her is better, anyway.  When I dream of her she always picks a different woman anyway.  Sometimes I think I dream of her and don't remember.  Like the night I woke up naked and sideways in bed.  Musta been fun!  Wish I could freakin' remember what happened!

I nick'd this off of a page earlier this evening and I'll be splitting it up into parts.  Ok, I didn't really "nick it" because I'll leave the link when I'm done.

"Because the anima is an archetype, she has characteristics that continue to appear throughout the ages. She has a quality of eternity. Often she looks young, although she has the feeling that she already has years of experience." 

Hold.  The fuck.  Up.  

I'll be damned if that doesn't sound like a certain Succubunny I know and hump.  That's EXACTLY how she feels to me when I feel her "essence".




Just the other day my wonderous ego decided to ask her some retarded questions.

"Before we met, were you a virgin?"

Succubunny:  No. (I wasn't either, dunno why my wonderous ego decided to ask stupid ass questions)

*Question formed in my mind*

"When we met, were you a virgin?"

Succubunny:  Yes.  *Excitement*

(I use a pendulum a lot, sometimes with tarot - I have a "swing type" I interpret at excitement).

And even though my wonderous ego had it's go at the question, I think I get her answer anyway.  And no, I can't put it into words, either, because it doesn't make sense "here".




I know she feels youthful, but ancient.  Exactly like the part in italics about the anima.

"She is wise but not overpowering. She often has the feeling of being special, or having a secret knowledge. She is often connected to the earth or water and can have great power."

It's funny, because in my magickal training so far I found that succubi tend (I said tend) to be considered water spirits.  Of course they can be anything and of any type of spirits, but mine sure seems like the water element.  Remember when I said that most of the times she communicates with me by voice it sounds distorted as if it's underwater?  

"She has both a light and a dark aspect. She can be the pure, good, noble figure, almost a goddess,"




And can she ever.  She is so gentle, so sweet, so loving, patient, and tender.  She is SO of the light that it hurts when she draws near.




She looks after me as an angel of light, yet with a bite all her own.

There's something regal about her, something bright:  It's as if she is an avatar of the Solar or Lunar Goddess.  

Almost...




"but she can also be a prostitute, a seductress or a witch..."

I do understand seeing her as both light, and dark, at the same time even... although I am the first to admit I tend to see her as one or the other, depending on how she presents herself.  Humanity and duality, whatcha do?

One would think that her completely enveloping me as an angel of light that she couldn't be the opposite, but it's true.  It's very true.  It's not even a question of good and evil, but one of light and darkness.  She can most definitely be an angel of darkness as well.  That aspect of herself that she projects is just as loving as the lighter one, but it sure is hard to get used to when you were a choir boy.

She can dig into your mind and pull out the raunchiest secret things you would ever want to do with a woman but were too afraid to ask.  I grew up a church school.  I admit, I'm probably a prude, and probably was the perfect succubait, too.  I'm sure they had one hell of a laugh when my succubus chose me.





But regardless:  Everyone has their secret fantasies, and when she's in that dark form?  Holyyy shit...

She's coming out to play, and you WILL act out those fantasies with her in your mind or in your dreams.  Pick one:  "No" is not an option.  

She tells me purringly that it's for my highest good.  

Oh, mercy...




I got to thinking about her and her times with me doing exactly that, and I almost hit the damn Publish button by mistake, lol.  Ah shit, I'm succuwhipped.  I've got it bad, lol :P  I couldn't even type right, had to re spell every damn thing.

*Breathe*  *Breathe.  Deep breath now*

Ok.

"The dark aspect will most likely appear when a man has suppressed or underestimated his female nature, treating women with contempt or carelessness."

I don't believe a word of that part of the quote.  I know men who hate women.  I know women who hate men.  They're a MESS.  There is NO balance.  The other gender is to blame for EVERYTHING.

They cannot hold onto happiness, they cannot hold onto peace, to joy, to anything while they feel that way.




I believe, rather, that individuals who are like this are simply denied the cooperation of their anima, or animus if a woman.  Without that part of themselves whom they cannot accept, they will be, and always will continue to be (if they do not have an awakening of sorts) unbalanced.

"The anima can also appear in the form a fey or an elf and lure men away from their work or home, like the sirens in ancient times. In mythology and literature she continues to appear as a goddess and ‘femme fatale’."




I don't know what's he's smoking here, but it is interesting that mythological creatures (*cough, succubus, cough*) are part of the quote concerning the anima.  Perhaps he is talking about delusions, or maybe when one considers the other gender the enemy.

Look, you CAN'T make an enemy of your anima or animus (if female).  It's a part of YOU.  But you can be in a state of uncooperation as far as personal growth.

Our deepest selves are there to guide us on, to urge us forward towards growth.  That is the law of the universe:  EVOLVE or be in stasis.  If you stay in stasis, you stop growing.  If you stop growing all is not lost, but is not easy, either (and I'm not going down the path of explaining that).

Everyone will evolve at some point.  I'd just rather be a part of the dance than feeling like I'm being dragged ever onwards.





"The way anima and animus function can be made conscious, but they are themselves factors that are transcendent to the conscious, and thus to perception and will. They remain autonomous and one needs to keep an eye on them."


I have a different view:  Summon them and fuck them.  A lot.  Surrender to them, embrace them, let them lead you... you will be balanced, you will feel right as rain.


The best way to keep an eye on your anima?  With her riding you.  Can't get much closer than that.


"Anima and animus are mediators between the conscious and the unconscious psyche. They can be understood when they appear, personified, in fantasies, dreams, visions."


Not unlike communication with one's succubus, eh?  Not so unlike it at all.




See, the prevailing idea is that we need to understand our anima, and I agree:  But I think going farther is the key to unlocking much, much more.  I believe we need to embrace that side of ourselves that is feminine.  There is no loss of masculinity for men, no:  God, if anything I've become more a man, have MORE confidence, MORE ability to stand my ground and ask for what I want.

In fact, I count tell you how my family cannot comprehend what's come over me to be able to do what I do now, that I never used to.  How I have such a well developed sense of self that I NEVER had before.

It's because I have embraced her, surrendered to her, listened to her, felt her.

Loved her (and still do:  With every moment).

***



"There is in the unconscious of each man an inherent image of woman who helps him to understand her being."

As I said in the beginning, I believe that when we summon, we attract what is CLOSEST TO OUR ANIMA.

In doing the one, we embrace the other.

The anima is to be fucked, embraced, loved, and held.

Love her, wildly love her, and see what happens.

Or does that frighten you?











12 comments:

  1. I loved the rest of this post too, and I knowthis was not your only point, but the young man who went through the rough time with the so-called psychic? He is well and back with his succubus and he reads your blog! Or at least he did back in February. :-)
    https://alchemybyfire.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/a-succubus-loves-me/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you serious? Holy shit. I am so fucking glad to know that, you have no idea. It made such a huge impact on me about what that woman did those years ago to him and his succubus, and I've always thought about him and his succubus since.

    I needed to hear that everything worked out in the end, I am so happy :) :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't often feel compelled to comment on the internets, but thank you for writing this. Not just this post, but your blog in general.

    Right now, my most important goal is to change... myself? my cruft? my baggage? all this dumb shit I've accumulated? idk man, change something...

    Anyway, its hard for me to stay consistent oftentimes, and I find your posts encouraging to keep at it.

    So just a thanks from a random stranger on the internet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, thanks for the comment :)

      Change is hard. So hard sometimes.
      The first step for me is wanting to change.
      After that, it's building up of energy (through desire) to overcome the inertia of being stuck in a rut.
      The last step is holding on for dear life. Haha.

      Delete
    2. Another good blogger to look up on is succupedia.wordpress.com

      Delete
    3. I just added it, thanks for the recommendation :)

      Delete
  4. Oh..and glad to see that the guy survived that onslaught and has reunited with his spirit lover..I wish him all the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and me both started out at about the same time with ours, didn't we?

      Delete
  5. Surrender, receive, surrender again, receive again, surrender more, receive more, surrender all, receive all!! Their love for us is unconditional, true and steadfast. It is up to us to grasp that and run with that in this lifetime, in this physical dimension and into the next dimensions and beyond. I have always felt that she was the other part, half or duality of me and I have for sometime now referred to her, as "my first wife, my true wife, my true love and my first love." Twin flame indeed!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if I'm not sure if I really know how to surrender? The closest I can come up with is just trying to release expectations and being ok with whatever happens... even if "whatever" sometimes means "nothing".

      Which I won't lie... is kinda hard for me heh.

      Delete
    2. That's a really good question. It's something that only experience can teach I think: I couldn't surrender at first. In the beginning of my walk with a succubus I would simply call it trust.

      Releasing expectations and being ok with whatever happens sounds about right. I believe that's what I did in the beginning.

      I'd say that trust is the first stepping stone to surrender (being in a state of complete acceptance of the experience with her) which increases in knowing that the trust given her is warranted by her earning that trust (as confidence is gained with her) to become greater degrees of trust until greater degrees of surrender are attainable.

      When I enter a state of total surrender, I have no walls up, no emotional safeguards in place, no barriers keeping her from my deepest recesses of being.

      As a result, I am able to feel her deeply, intimately, and completely.

      Her ability to "meld" with me, to "commune" with me physically and emotionally then becomes something very spiritual and sacred to me. It is not something found easliy in this world, at least I haven't found anything like it.

      But time with a succubus teaches it, there is no method.

      Delete