Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Reality Has Gone Full Oz.

Synchronicity is something that I interpret in a magickal way.  For me, sychronicities (and coincidence) speak of reality and perception changing, and of the world changing around me, albeit in a personal way

(with personal meanings).

I've been rather mad at the Bunny lately.  She's been distant longer than usual, she almost feels "weak", as if she can't be here hardly at all, but I think that is a misnomer.

In truth, I believe that she is getting "out of my way" for some reason for now, but it doesn't mean I like it, nor that I'm not pissed at her for not explaining "why". Although, emotions are wonderful things, but they can't really explain why so I'm not sure why I'm mad at her.

Well, no I do know:  I want intimacy with her and I want it now.  This pet is pissed off and demands attention.  Lol.  Well, I love her.  Of course I'm going to be mad at her for not being close.  She's the higher vibrational being, not me.  I'm just a soul walking around in a flesh golemn with faulty sensory inputs.

Can I get a high-five?  Anyone?

*Clears Throat*

I... have been logging the synchronicites and coincidence the past few days:

(I guess to try to "connect the dots" so to speak.)

I've always had one or two synchronicities a week or so, but having around 8(ish) within such a short time span has been very strange.  Here's a sampling:

Wake up and look at clock: 11:11a

At ex's house for daughter's birthday, look at clock for no reason (it's not like I look all day fishing for these things, I looked twice, saw 2 synchronicites at 2 different times): 4:44p.

(LOL, I just NOW looked at clock and what time is it?  11:11.  Full retard.)

Chat with friend, he shows me lots of unique elephant statuettes, next day daughter wearing elephant tee-shirt.

Mother's garden doing better than it ever has: I performed a metaphysical experiment with her garden back on mother's day (I created a spirit (invited one to indwell) to help with her herb and flower garden and attached it to a piece of jewelry I gave her on mother's day before I gave it to her). Her blooms and growth are better than they ever have been, she even told my daughter: The flowing plant I planted when you were born has flowered bigger and better than ever.

Me making binders full of my research and reading with a "tulpa" symbol on the front covers: My daughter's friend showing up at her birthday party with a tulpa symbol on her wrist band (it was from the show supernatural): She had no idea the symbol meant "tulpa".

I asked her if she knew what tulpa means, she said no.

This morning I dreamed a man called and asked me a question.  Got up, went to the restroom, went back to bed.  *Ring* This is Ed from the Dr's office, we needed to ask you a question about another provider.

There was a picture that I've been missing that I used for my succubus.  It was one woman, one pic, nude, and she's tastefully posing with her hand on her hip, the other on a chair arm while standing up.

Do you know the chances of finding "the pic" of a random female non-famous nude model, with no name, no site, found 6 years ago?

Well I found it.  It took me about 1 hour.  Ladies and gentleman:  That's fucking impossible.

I wanted that pic because out of all my experiments with pictures, that one indwelled a spirit so well that the spirit not only had an animated face for me, but for my daughter as well (obviously had to cover the pic's nakedness for my daughter to look at it), but the point was that the model's face animated, lips moving, eyes moving, expressions.  It's all inputted into the brain as you can turn the pic upside down and it all reverts to normal.

Anyway, this pic was the only one that animated so well that two of us saw the same thing at the same time (even if it's a mental illusion given via the spirit).

So, I have Bunny's persona in pic form back.  I've been begging "source" or whoever to help me find it because to me, that is Bunny in the flesh (she's not flesh, but I wanted it and needed it to feel close to her during this time of her extended withdrawal).  To me, this pic IS the symbol for Bunny, one that I didn't realize symbolized Bunny to me.

Ok, look.  Just think of the pic as a "Bunny" stuffed animal in picture form if that helps.  I don't know all my weird-assed needs.  It's like a child's stuffed animal that makes the child feel safe.  Only in my case it's a pic of a naked female model standing there that represents my Succubus.  Hey, I'm a grown man, not a small child. I have my standards.  *Sniff*  

Am I crazy(er), or is my life experience finally going full retard?

Oh yeah one more thing:  If you think loving a succubus is weird, watch an episode or two of Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou.  It's hilarious, cute, and you realize that you love her because she's she.  Plus she'll enjoy watching it through your eyes with you, I promise.

I'm also going to tell you a little secret.  Do you believe that things generally stay in balance?

I do.  Sometimes the balance wavers a little, but it returns.

If that is true, order (or the manifest) is the total of all things that have become things, and disorder (or the unmanifest) is the total of all things that have not become things.

Which is more?

I can only conclude that there are as many things (souls, spirits, creatures) as there are things that are not.  In looking out into the stars and heavens, and in knowing only of what is here, a measly 7 billion souls... as compared to infinity?  We know nothing of what is out there nor what already exists.

If we believe, and I do, that the manifest and unmanifest must be equal... look at all that we DO NOT KNOW OF.

And if true, just how bizzare is your succubus love now?  Or in spirits existing?


"But it's not in the Bible" The Bible is 66 books, 1,200 pages.  I know:  I was pre-seminary.

Lol, bet you all didn't see that one coming, but it's true.  That's why I'm ordained 4x.  Yep 4x.

Why 4x?  To make dang sure, that's why.  I wanted to become immune to anyone because of their titles, and be able to decide myself whether their message carried any weight on it's own merit.

Does the Bible have microwaves in it?  How about jets?  The internet?  Cancer?  The common cold?

Atoms, string-theory, nuclear bombs?  How about planetary atmospheres, the planets of the solar system?

Cells, single-celled organisms, bacteria?

Mathematics?  Quadratic equations?  They exist, too, ya know.

The Bible does not hold the sum total of all knowledge in the universe.  No holy book does from any religion.  If it did, it would make holding it and carrying it to church a serious problem.

I like to think that God/dess didn't feel privy to tell everyone about their goings on in their multiverse.

You want a book that tells it all?  Take all the books of the world together, all the information humans know, have known, and ever will know... and it's nothing.  NOTHING.

Never fall into the trap of seeing only what others see, or in not daring to think for yourself.

Neither do I allow myself to fall into the trap of letting religions decide anything for me, nor put conditions on me.  I have my own moral compass which I find to be superior (in retrospect) than the religions I tried so hard to find the meaning of love in.  It doesn't exist there, not in any cold concrete building... no, it is like living water:  It exists in a living, feeling heart.

God/dess is greater than any limitation ever put on them.  Every time I'm learned to reach for God/dess, I have never been disappointed.  Everytime I tried to reach for God/dess through a minister, a priest, anyone... I've always failed to find God/dess, and never found the love that exists bubbling up from my own deep, bright, dark, feeling, imperfect yet loveable heart.

Find God/dess directly, or don't bother to look at all.

Find the God/dess yourself.  Then watch the magick happen...

I'm going to do something for fun.  Many of my friends know me for my "experiments".

Then you are my experiment.  Listen to my words and receive this energy.  It is yours to accept, or to deny.  I send it in perfect love and perfect trust.

May it point your way.
May your walls fall.
May your illusions crumble.
And let nothing hide the face of God/dess from you!


  1. *High-five*. Just broke up with my girlfriend for the same reason you speak of. Little time for me, and when we do have time, little to no intimacy? I don't think so, Tim. That said, it's hard to hold spirits to our fleshly standards. :( I think sometimes they can't come through the veil, for whatever reason. Hang in there, buddy.

  2. I feel deeply that our spirit lovers are busy with a charge/job/challenge from our Logo's/God/Goddess/Creator at the moment. I feel strongly that the flux/energy/polarity is changing here on Earth; hence why our perception/illusion/reality is being effected and appears to be running amuck. I feel that we have been selected/blessed/chosen and have been prepared for and to experience/accept/ this change/transition/ascension by them. I feel that in their absence we are being prepared for even more than we can hope/fathom/imagine and that they are busy with this preparation/charge/challenge. We are being prepared for something bigger than self/individual/I, for something more for our whole spirit/soul/us here on this rock. I feel we need to stand by and get ready to have our little cosmic minds blown wide open!! You are and we are all being awoken to a new reality/dimension and truth.
    It think it explains a lot of your own happenings lately Rafe and as well as mine; with the time synchronicity and such. Again we always seem to be on the same page and are definitely reading from the same book. Even though yours may be a more complex spiritual book than mine; as mine has been simpler focused. We have both sought for our own understanding and our place in all of this and have still managed to find almost the same truths.
    Keeping an open mind and being critical/discerning of all that we absorb into ourselves is key to our spiritual growth, development and understanding. I agree that we have to find the truth inside us, for own-selves and that when we do, our hearts/minds/emotions/soul and spirit will sing with joy, love and light.
    You are my spiritual brother, my master, my teacher, my friend; as I am yours.
    In Universal Peace, Love, Light & Bliss!!