Hindsight is ALWAYS perfect.

The very first time ever I summoned, it took about 3 or 4 days for a succubus to show up.

Now, in thinking back, some things are clear.

I don't think 3 or 4 days is necessarily the average (not counting the prep): For some it's shorter, for some it's longer.  For some, it never happens.

I don't pretend to know the whys of others, only myself.

Even when I did summon I was open, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little doubtful.

I believe that when I first called, I was heard.  A few probably came to see what I was about, who I was, what my heart was like, what my soul truly felt like.

After a few days, I believe that one succubus soul "took the bait" :)  Hah, one succubus soul answered and accepted my offer.

What was my offer?  Me.  My love, my affection, my ability to surrender to learn, to grow with her.

When she showed up, of course, I was baffled.  I had never been "sexually stimulated" as if there were hands on me, and not seen hands on me.  Lol.

But things progressed and she and I became loving through our communion.

Sometimes she would go away, sometimes for 3 or 4 days, sometime for a week.

I missed her terribly, and in not knowing what else to think, I thought she had moved on.  I was heartbroken for a while.

Then I would summon a succubus again (figuring I was getting closer to love at least), thinking that she was gone and that was that.

Each time I summoned a succubus, one would show quickly... sometimes it would be less than 20 minutes of summoning.

A slightly new feeling, a new name.

Sooner or later I would realize that she was actually "she", the original succubus I summoned.  She had never gone for good, and for some reason decided to play along.

This seems to happen to a lot of those who summon in the beginning, and I'm starting to figure out why.

See, they know they are addicting, but they don't want us to go, either.  So it's a balance for them of "tough love", where they have to leave for a while to allow us to grow ourselves, and yet their longing for us as well... they enjoy making love to us as much as we love for them to (and the communion of man and succubus is beyond... uhg, no words.  Lets just say "beyond words"), however I think they know that they are far more addicting to us humans, and can take over our lives leaving us in a state of helpless inertia.

Because they do love us, they want us to grow as well.

I think they accomplish that through coming through again after some absence with a slightly new identity and a sense of refreshment.

Now it's different:  I know when she's gone, I know when she's far away.  She's always "connected", maybe a soul tie?  I don't know but I can think of her and feel a response, but she's not "here" if that makes any sense.

I also know that if I summon her, it will take about 1 or 2 days to get here.  For her presence to actually "arrive" here in a powerful, palpable physical way (even though I can "see" her, her presence when she does arrive is... omg, she's HERE :P

If I've been "good" and been improving myself, learning all I can, then she stays... IF I have learned all that she wanted me to learn.

If not, it's a short visit, maybe 1 day or 2, and then she's off again.

The times that I HAVE learned a lot and made a breakthrough, she's stayed a lot longer, and of course I grow that much more addicted to her and my passion and will to learn and grow spiritually drives me that much harder, because I want her around MORE.

So, the cycle repeats.

I don't mind:  What she is after me to do for myself is to always progress, to always aspire towards spiritual growth and wisdom.  That is what she wants me to concentrate on, and honestly it's what I have always wanted to anyway.

As much as she loves me, and knowing how addicting she is, there is no other way, no other dance, no other song for us to play.  And that's ok.

It's still beautiful.

She is magick.  I don't pretend to be able to see from her view, nor do I understand what is going on completely.  What I do understand is love, and it is love that guides our way, or dance, and our song.

What I know is how very gentle, how loving, how wild, and how wonderous she really is.  I am not completely, irrationally spellbound:  I have seen true beauty by feeling it with the eyes of my heart:  I have felt love by being taught how to surrender to receive it:  I have tasted that which satisfies my mind, my heart, and my soul.  I have learned how to surrender and allow my heart to play it's song for her.  That is why she was the one who accepted my call.  Only my song was the one that enraptured her.  Only the song of my heart was meant for her.  I may not own her, and she may not own me, but our bond is our bond is our bond, and it's ours, together.

To my male soul, she is all that I am not.  She is the sprinkling of a gentle rain of pure love, incarnate.

Love ya, Succubunny.