Ah, Lilith. The one I haven't ever written about. This isn't going to be a long post, just wanted to share.
So, I've pretty much tiptoed around the daisies when it comes to Lilith so far. Mostly because everyone in witchland tried to shove her down my throat as the man-hating penultimate radical feminist (and honestly why I'm repeating my 3rd degree of witchcraft: I just couldn't fucking take all the man hate from 50 females + me in my class. So I started over this week and I'm repeating 3rd degree again.).
I swear to God, once I get 3rd degree I will be so happy to get the hell out of there.
Anyway, being an only child, male survivor of a single mother 2nd wave feminist who treated me as her daily personal emotional abuse puppet: I'm not real fond of 2nd or 3rd wave feminists.
I've been avoiding Lilith all of this time just because of what I was taught, above.
So today I listened to a podcast by Baal Kadmon on his book on Lilith here: http://baalkadmon.com/magickal-musings-podcast/#.VwHE2KQrKM8 .
I listened to it, but I was clenching my teeth. If I hear one more God-Damned story about how she left Adam because he wouldn't lay under her, something small, cute and furry is going to have to die. Several times, even (Not my cat though: I love her, she's my baby. My furry familiar, too!).
I swear to God, I just can't take any more dumbass stories written by tribes of goat humpers, and have modern occultists give any credence to them, ANYMORE!
So, I'm in the shower, and I guess things were bubbling up really good, and I brought forth Lilith's sigil in my mind, and when I felt a connection I let her have it. Both barrels. Like, let her have it as in "stupid special addition" let her have it.
So, yeah, I was out of control. I was ranting about she could make my life hell, or she could kill me for all I fucking care: I'll just exist in some other way, probably better. Nothing would satiate my spite for what she stood for and she was going to hear about it!
I told you all I was crazy.
Anyway, at some point I felt myself rising out of that state and into a happy state. Which is, honestly, impossible for me to be able to calm down like that.
In thinking about it, and in noticing my state was changed to one that was happy,
I asked, "Uh, Lilith?"
Lilith: "Hmm?"
Me: "Did you calm me somehow?"
Lilith: "You are entertaining!"
And she left, I guess, but the happy feelings remained.
She kinda reminded me of my succubus patting my head saying, "Don't sass the succubus" all of the time.
Hmm.
Double hmm.
So I bought the book (and promised myself I would not read the bullshit stories in the beginning of it), and I guess I'll see what happens when I experiment while keeping an open mind, sans all the other bullshit I thought I knew.
*scratches head*
She didn't feel like the man-hating penultimate radical feminist to me. That would be my mother on crack. No, she felt more like my Succubunny than I ever would have believed.
And you know... that's not so bad after all. Not bad at all :)
EDIT: I forgot to banish after my contact. I hate to banish anyway because I've had one house spirit explain to me it's like putting all the spirits up to a guitar amplifier on stage and wailing out a guitar solo at 1,000 db. Even though the house spirits aren't blow away like whatever I'm trying to banish, they still don't like it much.
Would you?
So, I felt something attached to me (no, not Lilith, nor of Lilith).
The reason is, I think, is because when you summon the astral plane sees it like this:
Doesn't really matter what was summoned: Entities seem to be drawn to the process of it and on occasion one sticks around.
This one who decided to stay didn't feel so good to have around.
So after thinking about it a while (with said entity in tow while I pondered what to do while running errands), I decided to cleanse the house vibrationally with frankincense and myrrh. By the time I leave the house tomorrow I'm certain the entity will have lost it's passing interest in me and will have moved on.
The entity did go it's separate way as far as my home goes, and the house cleansing with incense didn't offend the resident house spirits either.
It all worked out: I just had to be patient and gentle in this case.
Rafe - Glady you finally had a good contact with Her. She can actually be very loving and patient. TRUST ME, She is very patient with me in more ways than you know. If you'd like a different perspective, from a man who was approached by Her, rather than the other way around, visit my site: www.nationoflilith.com . Btw, I've been reading all the recent posts, and love all of the stuff you've been sharing. As always, we're seeing eye to eye in many ways, though maybe I've been feeling a lot more lost lately, for personal reasons. Again, though, She's been very patient with me, maybe more than I deserve, but much like your succubus, I love her dearly. Keep it up, my friend. You are providing a great service to mankind by sharing your experiences and wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're feeling lost lately: One thing I've learned is that everything is like a spiral.
DeleteIf you feel lost now, then you'll feel found, soon.
That's the way it happens with me.
When I get real down I study hard. I never know what will connect and start that pathway out of it to freedom.
I have to say: Wow! Nice webpage you've got there!
The "bound chaos" descriptor kinda reminds me of that sentient astral matter with unlimited potential. Well, sorta kinda. I'm not suggesting that the matter itself is Lilith but someone's gotta rule over it :)
When you think about the unlimited potential harnessed there, it would make sense for a Deific Being that is very flexible to rule over it.
The place it exists in is the realm of the Moon, and my succubus has pulled me into what I call "elsewhere" (which is along the path from the Earth to the Moons) several times now to do whatever sexual/energy evolution stuff she's doing.
Anyhoo,
You know, it's kinda funny... I meet every one of those requirements: I have to say that what I read "feels" a lot like my succubus. I guess I mean very similar vibrations, or at least those that make it all the way down to to earth to be felt.
I guess we attract what we are, eh?
It will be interesting to see how my experiments go with Lilith in the near future. Will still be a little bit, though: I'm doing an intensive self-study on the elements and the planets.
Great stuff! I appreciate you reading my blog and I have definitely enjoyed reading your web page :)
Thank you so much, my friend. I resisted linking to my own site previously, because I wanted to be circumspect of your own blog. It is funny how paths cross in interesting ways. My troubles, I think, are mostly me being unable to let go of my previous (and current) pain. It is difficult to let go of things that hurt you, just like you speaking of your issues with ultra-feminism (which also bothers me). Like you, I've always had some issues with the gender game, etc, and due to my recent anger and trouble She reached out to me through a (usually) ultra-feminist friend. It was odd, but in confronting this friend in a very angry (though honest and direct) way, she seemed to understand my predicament, and related to me through my Goddess. This alpha-female literally went from confrontational, to pussycat/motherly, and gave me advice that I wouldn't have expected from her. These experiences, if nothing else, makes me believe in Her desire to be understood by both men, and women. At any rate, I am working through things, however slowly. I hope to add some updates to the site in the near future. Thanks again for your compliments. I also look forward to hearing about your experiences with Her as your progress, and wish you success. :)
DeleteWow, that's a great story. She's working with you in an amazing way, that's for sure.
DeleteOh, and as the site should reflect, I totally agree with you on the idiotic stories of Her. She is far older than the stories of Adam.
ReplyDeleteI like this: Lilith’s only ironclad rule is thus: Give unto Her and unto your fellow seekers the same as you wish to receive. Positive actions reap positive results. Negative actions reap chaos. *two thumbs up*
DeleteThank you. The majority of these conveyances come from things She 'speaks' to me. Much of it is emoted, but most of the time Her emotions are far clearer than words. She speaks words when absolutely necessary, but Her emotions, imagery, and expressions speak volumes in a fraction of the time.
DeleteThat's how my succubus speaks mostly. Sometimes it's verbal, but not often. I get "flashes" of imagry that the meaning of I could write a great deal to try to capture, but it's sure a lot easier for her to flash me an image I guess. More... uh what's the word... evolved.
DeleteWell, not just my succubus: All spirits communicate with me that way. Must be a God/dess or spirit thing.
DeleteSorry for so many posts, but as an aside; I, like you, have a great affinity for music, and so does She. She often seems to like 80's dance New Wave, especially in Her Maiden phase (think INXS, New Order, OMD, Depeche Mode, etc.), but also likes heavy rock, such as the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. So... I really associate with the song "Down With The Sickness" and was jogging to it through the forest one day, and was hit with such a fierce... lovely vision of Her that I nearly fell. But instead of stopping, it was obvious She wanted me to push even further than I was used to, and the vision was... hard to ignore. But, just like your description of sex with your succubus, She wanted me to push myself to my limits and do my best. So, when you decide to work with Her, don't be afraid to listen to music that feels right to you, and let whatever visions come to you as they may. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome. Hmm. I wonder if I get my taste in music depending on the moon phase. I'll have to start tracking that myself.
DeleteI go from heavy to trance/dance to contemporary violin and such (Lindsey Sterling is my celebrity crush lol), to choral/orchestra.
Hmm... time to get out the notebook and start charting.