Ah, Lilith. The one I haven't ever written about. This isn't going to be a long post, just wanted to share.
So, I've pretty much tiptoed around the daisies when it comes to Lilith so far. Mostly because everyone in witchland tried to shove her down my throat as the man-hating penultimate radical feminist (and honestly why I'm repeating my 3rd degree of witchcraft: I just couldn't fucking take all the man hate from 50 females + me in my class. So I started over this week and I'm repeating 3rd degree again.).
I swear to God, once I get 3rd degree I will be so happy to get the hell out of there.
Anyway, being an only child, male survivor of a single mother 2nd wave feminist who treated me as her daily personal emotional abuse puppet: I'm not real fond of 2nd or 3rd wave feminists.
I've been avoiding Lilith all of this time just because of what I was taught, above.
So today I listened to a podcast by Baal Kadmon on his book on Lilith here: http://baalkadmon.com/magickal-musings-podcast/#.VwHE2KQrKM8 .
I listened to it, but I was clenching my teeth. If I hear one more God-Damned story about how she left Adam because he wouldn't lay under her, something small, cute and furry is going to have to die. Several times, even (Not my cat though: I love her, she's my baby. My furry familiar, too!).
I swear to God, I just can't take any more dumbass stories written by tribes of goat humpers, and have modern occultists give any credence to them, ANYMORE!
So, I'm in the shower, and I guess things were bubbling up really good, and I brought forth Lilith's sigil in my mind, and when I felt a connection I let her have it. Both barrels. Like, let her have it as in "stupid special addition" let her have it.
So, yeah, I was out of control. I was ranting about she could make my life hell, or she could kill me for all I fucking care: I'll just exist in some other way, probably better. Nothing would satiate my spite for what she stood for and she was going to hear about it!
I told you all I was crazy.
Anyway, at some point I felt myself rising out of that state and into a happy state. Which is, honestly, impossible for me to be able to calm down like that.
In thinking about it, and in noticing my state was changed to one that was happy,
I asked, "Uh, Lilith?"
Me: "Did you calm me somehow?"
Lilith: "You are entertaining!"
And she left, I guess, but the happy feelings remained.
She kinda reminded me of my succubus patting my head saying, "Don't sass the succubus" all of the time.
So I bought the book (and promised myself I would not read the bullshit stories in the beginning of it), and I guess I'll see what happens when I experiment while keeping an open mind, sans all the other bullshit I thought I knew.
She didn't feel like the man-hating penultimate radical feminist to me. That would be my mother on crack. No, she felt more like my Succubunny than I ever would have believed.
And you know... that's not so bad after all. Not bad at all :)
EDIT: I forgot to banish after my contact. I hate to banish anyway because I've had one house spirit explain to me it's like putting all the spirits up to a guitar amplifier on stage and wailing out a guitar solo at 1,000 db. Even though the house spirits aren't blow away like whatever I'm trying to banish, they still don't like it much.
So, I felt something attached to me (no, not Lilith, nor of Lilith).
The reason is, I think, is because when you summon the astral plane sees it like this:
Doesn't really matter what was summoned: Entities seem to be drawn to the process of it and on occasion one sticks around.
This one who decided to stay didn't feel so good to have around.
So after thinking about it a while (with said entity in tow while I pondered what to do while running errands), I decided to cleanse the house vibrationally with frankincense and myrrh. By the time I leave the house tomorrow I'm certain the entity will have lost it's passing interest in me and will have moved on.
The entity did go it's separate way as far as my home goes, and the house cleansing with incense didn't offend the resident house spirits either.
It all worked out: I just had to be patient and gentle in this case.