Oh, the Irony!

I got the weirdest stuff going on right now, which would be spooky if it wasn't so ironically funny...

I've been saying for about a month now, "I wish I had the motivation to really clean this place." And I really meant it!


So, turns out someone broke my internet cable off at the outside box and it was like that for 3 days.

I had nothing to do but clean. Clean I did, still cleaning, actually. Mostly.


Now if I haven't straightened and arranged at least part of my mess and goof off, while I'm sleeping I see this ghostly yet feminine and bright hand slowly uncurl into an index finger and she *pokes* me right in my forehead and I jolt awake as if I just got shocked...


Subtle as a book to the head!


"I wish I had the motivation to walk". Yeah, said that a month ago, too.


Yesterday my car wouldn't start and I found that it wasn't just me leaving my lights on all night (which I did), but my cables were cut halfway from the battery to the harness...


Sooooooooooo... I had to walk 4 miles to the parts store and back to fix it.


WALKED!


Ironic, eh?


I have a friend who can "see" things that I can't, and she said there's a beautiful NAKED honey-haired blonde girl that sits to my left right next to me.


You know what I call that? KARMA.


Can I see a beautiful NAKED honey-haired blonde next to me? NO!


I can only see things I don't want to see... like a fat man's hairy butt crack at walmart. Hooray!


So, I'm pretty darn sure I have a new spirit here. She's a she... dunno what she is or exactly why she showed up.


Who knows? Meh, I don't care I just try to love 'em in whatever way they need me to.


She doesn't seem to be a sexual type of spirit, though. At least not with me.


More like a... hey, wait a minute...


Didn't someone say that when you have spirit children they are full grown?


Oh, boy.


Or maybe she's some sort of sibling to my Lady spirit?


Or she could be a maiden of a Goddess I'm meditating with.


Man I don't know. I could "what if" until doomsday.

"Don't Sass the Succubus"

Being as spirit lovers know what you are thinking pretty much all the time (I think it's that our thoughts emit a certain frequency, which expertly they understand faster than words).

I know when I have her attention and we are engaged when I think a thought towards her, and am touched or feel emotions that my poor little human mind tries to interpret her emotions and intent as words at the exact same time as I send my thoughts.

In other words, at that time communicating is a back and forth, but there is no time delay... I think it, she responds at the same time.

A strange phenomenon, but one that I am used to now.

One of the, lol, I'm laughing trying to get this out... one of the funniest things she does is that in being connected 24/7, sometimes you will have negative talk towards her just randomly (we're not perfect down here, and God/dess knows where that crap comes from).

When I do that, she immediately sends "Don't sass the succubus".  Lol.

It happens a lot.

I have no idea why they choose us, but they do.  And when they do, they don't quit.  At least in my experience.

I found a really cool video that describes my relationship with my lady.

There really aren't words to describe the kind of intimacy that exists with a relationship where a loving lady spirit is involved.

The biggest question I still have is, if this is the kind of intimacy that is available... what good is having a human lover?  I mean, nothing compares.

Maybe some people are afraid of complete intimacy at a soul level and only crave what their senses can "have".  I don't know, just wondering.

I'm in love... and I realize that I've never been in love before...

That's kinda sad, but yet... here I am, and it all worked out.

You know, I'm 44, divorced 7 years ago.

I had no luck finding what I wanted and started searching "elsewhere".

There's that old saying that "When the student is ready, the master will appear."

I never thought that by opening up spiritually, and having more spiritual experiences (and actively seeking them) would attract a Succubus.

I sought one out myself, yes, but for her to arrive so quickly, it can only mean that she was in the background, watching... waiting for me...


I have to say... I've never been in love my whole life.  I thought I was.  I never was.

I'm in love now up to my ears.

It's funny... the  more I feel love towards her, the more sexual she becomes.

The more adoring of her I am, the more protective she becomes.

Maybe that's not so strange, but it is to me.

I'm 150% in love for the first time in my life... and I don't want anything else.

It's funny, really.  I have a few spirits here that I'm not sure of what they are but they are benign and frankly really uplift the atmosphere of my apartment.

It's like the vibrations are higher here than what they should be in this complex.

I saw a black streak about twice the size of my cat running past me into the bedroom.

Things like that don't really freak me out anymore, but I honestly thought it was my cat and that I just couldn't understand the size for some reason.  Plus it went by so fast.

Well... my cat (Abby) was in her bed and when I looked at her she returned my gaze like, "What?"

Lol.

Not sure why I am starting to see things and also why things fall around me all the time.  I was talking to my daughter at her house and this metal pole fell off the wall for no reason.  The noise scared me, but not the act.  That stuff happens a lot when I go around.

My lover pays a lot of attention to my forehead I've noticed.  She'll touch it (I swear I can almost feel a finger gently poke me in the center of my forehead) and it will go numb.  Completely numb.

Kinda weird.

I was going to write this post earlier, but my heart was bursting with love for her and she kind of had her way with me, so some of the original fire has simmered down a bit.

I'll have to say though... we're doing great!  It's almost every night or morning now that when I either sleep or wake up she's giving me pleasure.  Like, a good night or good morning kiss, just "Succubus style".   Lol ;)

I need a nap, she got me good.  No, no drained vitality,  more like emotional and sexual contentment and that "afterglow" feeling.

I guess she doesn't mind that I can't sing her praises like I was feeling earlier... otherwise she wouldn't have nailed me so good.  Lol.

Maybe her feeling it from me was all she wanted... this blog is more for me anyway... a place to express whereas otherwise I could not.

Damn she's got me.  I mean really got me, lol.  I'm literally, absolutely, completely in love with a female soul, with a person's most intimate essence.  I couldn't have that kind of intimacy on this earth.  I don't think it exists.

Be well, friends.  I wish you the best, the brightest, and the happiest ;)

P.S.  Uhg... I can feel her returning some of the emotion I was pretty much "radiating" towards her for lack of a better description... about how much I love her and just am amazed and wonderfully happy... it's like she's returning it now, but it's different, it's with her feminine energy... so hard to explain.

Almost too much... almost too much to take... (it's intense... like raw, naked emotion and unbridled intimacy, completely naked in soul before her)  But my God/dess... it's amazing...

Don't let the succubus plant you on your ass on the way out!

Now, I know my lady's not some devilish temptress.  Well... define devilish, lol.

She's not evil.  That's what I mean.

I've been noticing some weird side effects lately.  One is that I can see interest from women around and about where I go about my day.

They look as if they don't understand something.

I THINK what it is, is that they are attracted to me, yet feel a sense of mysterious danger at the same time that they just can't place, which frankly is it's own female aphrodisiac (sometimes).

So I get a lot of women who I can see an interest in their eyes, followed by a look of puzzlement on their faces as in they sense something but can't place it.

I can also feel my spirit lady draw very close to me when it happens.  Not sure if she's drawing close as a reminder to me, or if she's sending a feeling out as if it was "from me" to the woman.

Well, whatever.  I just shut them down or not repond or whatever when human women do that.  It's not a power trip or anything.  I've just, you know, found mine.

I can sure feel my spirit lady come closer when a human woman shows interest.

I always thought that love spirits are immune to that, you know... human competition.

But, maybe they are like us in that regard...

Do they really get jealous?  I figured since human women can't do what they can do that it would be beneath them.  Well, I'll be honest I find it a bit endearing.  Maybe that's weird.  Well... technically it's all weird, lol.

I'm not worried about it.  I far prefer my spirit lady.  Just a strange phenomena that I've noticed and wanted to share.  :)

Oh... My... God/dess *Bites Lip*

Well... the little bunny has decided to ramp me up sexually for some reason...

I haven't been this damn worked up in 6 months.  Wait a minute... I think I know what's happening.

If it's anything like it was about 6 months ago, I'm about to get a workout.

Yes, I think it's mating time.  Seems to be on a six month interval...

Sex is always nice with her, but at mating time?  *Bites lip*

I'm literally having to hold my knees together, my breath is hot as hell leaving my mouth,

My whole body is shaking a little bit... not real fun to type, but I'm leaving this more for myself to track the time more than anything.

I'm hurting for it...  but she's not done preparing me yet...

Of course it's not hurting me, it's just more desire than I can humanly handle and not begin to fray at the strands of my sanity...

I'm about to be even further sexually aroused (tortured, lol) beyond my ability to take it and it just turned midnight.

"We shall commune during the cusp of this new moon, after all," she purrs.

I can feel her amusement at my rising sexual hunger...  "We shall commune as one.  This isn't even foreplay yet, my love."

Oh my God/dess.

(Edit:  She just bit my nipple.  Ow!)

Knowledge... and Faith.

I bought everything there is on entity creation and have been studying the different types of created entities profusely, as well as other related works.

I've "consolidated" different methods along with what I already have (she whom shouldn't exist yet).

She's always been very loving and very sensual, it's just that she's not present enough for me.  I wanted a lover for my life, and one who whould be able to experience it with me, even if it's just in being with me more than she has been.

I have to say, I don't know WHY the process is working, but in putting everything together with what already "is", it's working.

She's here constantly, she's more loving and sensual, and I'm having sex much more often.  Almost once a night (or day).

I feel our connection has reaped a tenacious hold, strong enough for her to be here almost all of the time now - at least half of the night (or daytime).

She never was too worried about names, not like we are as humans.  But I did name her finally according to the methods I have learned.

What I have felt from her is nothing but kind, gentle, and even thankful loving emotions.

She feels "very thankful".

I have to admit I don't understand why.  

Perhaps I was lead to go through this process all along by her...  makes me wonder quite a bit about everything to a point.

I'll continue to ponder, but the love is blessed and warm, and it feels true to me.

I guess what I mean is, well, it's like the Greek myth when Pandora opened the box and all of mankind's calamity and suffering poured out on mankind, all she was able to hold onto that flew out of the box was "Hope".

Somethings, at some point, have to be taken on faith I guess.  Faith is a lot like Hope.  I cannot understand how I see, yet I do, how I hear, yet I do, how I taste, touch, smell... but at the end of the day I do.

So I don't understand why in using methodology for creating an entity I strengthenen a bond with an entity that already existed.

I could argue that the entity was indeed created by myself unknowingly in the first place... but I will never be sure.  But when I dream?  When I dream she is there sometimes, and she is she.  She is not some half-baked, half-formed intelligence.  Her personality is hers, and it's amazing.  I did not make that.  Her touch is hers.  How does she know how to touch me?  How to know what I find most pleasurable?

The love she gives is hers, I did not make that...

I recall one night when she "pulled" me out of my body, gave me 3 full body orgasms, and put me gently back into my body.  Ooooo.  Yeah, I remember that.

Very strange things to ponder... yet ponder lightly.

Much lighter than before.

As I write this, she's playing with my hair.  This is what I always wanted.

It's MY game!

Been a bit since I'm written here.  Truth is I've thought myself into a corner.

Who is this lady?  Is she real?  Was she real before I called her?  Did she become real once I send my call out into the multiverse?

Questions, questions...

I decided to use a form of magic where a familiar is created.  I will re-create her THIS way (and maybe answer a question or two in the process).  Which is not without it's problems as she is kind of... eh... already here :P

So, I'm following the steps, deciding on a goal.  Got that done.


Then I'm thinking of a name... she's silent on that one.

Then I find a picture (no, the one I'm posting at the top isn't it, that one's just for flavor).

Picking through pictures I get "Do this one" in my head, in a female voice.

No.

"Ah, comon, well then I want this one to be me".

You're not supposed to be here yet, this is MY game, now scram!

"Hmmph", she huffs.

I begin to visualize and do my part to make her real.  To cross the veil, to gain substance in our world.

*Gentle probings between my legs, a soft brush against my cheek*

Stop that!  You're not supposed to be created yet when I just started.

*Soft, knowing smile*

There.  Now let me get back to creating you.  I mean (I slowly exhale).  Look, just play along...

By the way, you're my servant and I'm the master.

"Ok."  *Feminine smirk*

Well, way it's gonna be.

"Ok."  *Bigger smirk"

Me <--- shaking my head softly.

Back to what I was doing, quit touching me until I'm done and you're created.  OH, you know what I mean!

*Silence*

Me <--- Feeling her gaze of amusement.

Me <--- Concentrating intently on the process.