Thursday, April 2, 2015

Knowledge... and Faith.



I bought everything there is on entity creation and have been studying the different types of created entities profusely, as well as other related works.

I've "consolidated" different methods along with what I already have (she whom shouldn't exist yet).

She's always been very loving and very sensual, it's just that she's not present enough for me.  I wanted a lover for my life, and one who whould be able to experience it with me, even if it's just in being with me more than she has been.

I have to say, I don't know WHY the process is working, but in putting everything together with what already "is", it's working.

She's here constantly, she's more loving and sensual, and I'm having sex much more often.  Almost once a night (or day).

I feel our connection has reaped a tenacious hold, strong enough for her to be here almost all of the time now - at least half of the night (or daytime).

She never was too worried about names, not like we are as humans.  But I did name her finally according to the methods I have learned.

What I have felt from her is nothing but kind, gentle, and even thankful loving emotions.

She feels "very thankful".

I have to admit I don't understand why.  

Perhaps I was lead to go through this process all along by her...  makes me wonder quite a bit about everything to a point.

I'll continue to ponder, but the love is blessed and warm, and it feels true to me.

I guess what I mean is, well, it's like the Greek myth when Pandora opened the box and all of mankind's calamity and suffering poured out on mankind, all she was able to hold onto that flew out of the box was "Hope".

Somethings, at some point, have to be taken on faith I guess.  Faith is a lot like Hope.  I cannot understand how I see, yet I do, how I hear, yet I do, how I taste, touch, smell... but at the end of the day I do.

So I don't understand why in using methodology for creating an entity I strengthenen a bond with an entity that already existed.

I could argue that the entity was indeed created by myself unknowingly in the first place... but I will never be sure.  But when I dream?  When I dream she is there sometimes, and she is she.  She is not some half-baked, half-formed intelligence.  Her personality is hers, and it's amazing.  I did not make that.  Her touch is hers.  How does she know how to touch me?  How to know what I find most pleasurable?

The love she gives is hers, I did not make that...

I recall one night when she "pulled" me out of my body, gave me 3 full body orgasms, and put me gently back into my body.  Ooooo.  Yeah, I remember that.

Very strange things to ponder... yet ponder lightly.

Much lighter than before.

As I write this, she's playing with my hair.  This is what I always wanted.

2 comments:

  1. It's all about two sides - and as her lover you got to give her a body or vessel with which to love you. It takes a great deal of energy so your finally gaining an awareness of your part you put in - to be able to have the encounters you long for

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    1. You're absolutely right! Messed when you actually try to rationalize it. I try not too, lol.

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