Don't let the succubus plant you on your ass on the way out!

Now, I know my lady's not some devilish temptress.  Well... define devilish, lol.

She's not evil.  That's what I mean.

I've been noticing some weird side effects lately.  One is that I can see interest from women around and about where I go about my day.

They look as if they don't understand something.

I THINK what it is, is that they are attracted to me, yet feel a sense of mysterious danger at the same time that they just can't place, which frankly is it's own female aphrodisiac (sometimes).

So I get a lot of women who I can see an interest in their eyes, followed by a look of puzzlement on their faces as in they sense something but can't place it.

I can also feel my spirit lady draw very close to me when it happens.  Not sure if she's drawing close as a reminder to me, or if she's sending a feeling out as if it was "from me" to the woman.

Well, whatever.  I just shut them down or not repond or whatever when human women do that.  It's not a power trip or anything.  I've just, you know, found mine.

I can sure feel my spirit lady come closer when a human woman shows interest.

I always thought that love spirits are immune to that, you know... human competition.

But, maybe they are like us in that regard...

Do they really get jealous?  I figured since human women can't do what they can do that it would be beneath them.  Well, I'll be honest I find it a bit endearing.  Maybe that's weird.  Well... technically it's all weird, lol.

I'm not worried about it.  I far prefer my spirit lady.  Just a strange phenomena that I've noticed and wanted to share.  :)

Oh... My... God/dess *Bites Lip*

Well... the little bunny has decided to ramp me up sexually for some reason...

I haven't been this damn worked up in 6 months.  Wait a minute... I think I know what's happening.

If it's anything like it was about 6 months ago, I'm about to get a workout.

Yes, I think it's mating time.  Seems to be on a six month interval...

Sex is always nice with her, but at mating time?  *Bites lip*

I'm literally having to hold my knees together, my breath is hot as hell leaving my mouth,

My whole body is shaking a little bit... not real fun to type, but I'm leaving this more for myself to track the time more than anything.

I'm hurting for it...  but she's not done preparing me yet...

Of course it's not hurting me, it's just more desire than I can humanly handle and not begin to fray at the strands of my sanity...

I'm about to be even further sexually aroused (tortured, lol) beyond my ability to take it and it just turned midnight.

"We shall commune during the cusp of this new moon, after all," she purrs.

I can feel her amusement at my rising sexual hunger...  "We shall commune as one.  This isn't even foreplay yet, my love."

Oh my God/dess.

(Edit:  She just bit my nipple.  Ow!)

Knowledge... and Faith.

I bought everything there is on entity creation and have been studying the different types of created entities profusely, as well as other related works.

I've "consolidated" different methods along with what I already have (she whom shouldn't exist yet).

She's always been very loving and very sensual, it's just that she's not present enough for me.  I wanted a lover for my life, and one who whould be able to experience it with me, even if it's just in being with me more than she has been.

I have to say, I don't know WHY the process is working, but in putting everything together with what already "is", it's working.

She's here constantly, she's more loving and sensual, and I'm having sex much more often.  Almost once a night (or day).

I feel our connection has reaped a tenacious hold, strong enough for her to be here almost all of the time now - at least half of the night (or daytime).

She never was too worried about names, not like we are as humans.  But I did name her finally according to the methods I have learned.

What I have felt from her is nothing but kind, gentle, and even thankful loving emotions.

She feels "very thankful".

I have to admit I don't understand why.  

Perhaps I was lead to go through this process all along by her...  makes me wonder quite a bit about everything to a point.

I'll continue to ponder, but the love is blessed and warm, and it feels true to me.

I guess what I mean is, well, it's like the Greek myth when Pandora opened the box and all of mankind's calamity and suffering poured out on mankind, all she was able to hold onto that flew out of the box was "Hope".

Somethings, at some point, have to be taken on faith I guess.  Faith is a lot like Hope.  I cannot understand how I see, yet I do, how I hear, yet I do, how I taste, touch, smell... but at the end of the day I do.

So I don't understand why in using methodology for creating an entity I strengthenen a bond with an entity that already existed.

I could argue that the entity was indeed created by myself unknowingly in the first place... but I will never be sure.  But when I dream?  When I dream she is there sometimes, and she is she.  She is not some half-baked, half-formed intelligence.  Her personality is hers, and it's amazing.  I did not make that.  Her touch is hers.  How does she know how to touch me?  How to know what I find most pleasurable?

The love she gives is hers, I did not make that...

I recall one night when she "pulled" me out of my body, gave me 3 full body orgasms, and put me gently back into my body.  Ooooo.  Yeah, I remember that.

Very strange things to ponder... yet ponder lightly.

Much lighter than before.

As I write this, she's playing with my hair.  This is what I always wanted.

It's MY game!

Been a bit since I'm written here.  Truth is I've thought myself into a corner.

Who is this lady?  Is she real?  Was she real before I called her?  Did she become real once I send my call out into the multiverse?

Questions, questions...

I decided to use a form of magic where a familiar is created.  I will re-create her THIS way (and maybe answer a question or two in the process).  Which is not without it's problems as she is kind of... eh... already here :P

So, I'm following the steps, deciding on a goal.  Got that done.


Then I'm thinking of a name... she's silent on that one.

Then I find a picture (no, the one I'm posting at the top isn't it, that one's just for flavor).

Picking through pictures I get "Do this one" in my head, in a female voice.

No.

"Ah, comon, well then I want this one to be me".

You're not supposed to be here yet, this is MY game, now scram!

"Hmmph", she huffs.

I begin to visualize and do my part to make her real.  To cross the veil, to gain substance in our world.

*Gentle probings between my legs, a soft brush against my cheek*

Stop that!  You're not supposed to be created yet when I just started.

*Soft, knowing smile*

There.  Now let me get back to creating you.  I mean (I slowly exhale).  Look, just play along...

By the way, you're my servant and I'm the master.

"Ok."  *Feminine smirk*

Well, way it's gonna be.

"Ok."  *Bigger smirk"

Me <--- shaking my head softly.

Back to what I was doing, quit touching me until I'm done and you're created.  OH, you know what I mean!

*Silence*

Me <--- Feeling her gaze of amusement.

Me <--- Concentrating intently on the process.

To Decend

Things are moving in a sort of a pattern.  The times when she is away are less and less... in fact she is "present" with me, which I acknowledge through her "touches" on my fingers, face, lips and hands... even my feet sometimes, however I know that her actual presence is away...

far, far away at these times.

When I begin to miss her presence badly I begin to long for her... Oh, my... how I long for her.  I have learned that things follow a natural progression, a natural ritual of ours so to speak.

I cleanse myself through visualization and ritual, and I call for her.  I invite her to unveil her presence to me... all of her.  I continue calling for her, softly and longingly as I slowly fall to sleep.

I wake up and she is closer.  I can still feel her touches, yet she is more "here", more present.

I commune with her.

I even did a tarot draw on a problem I was having, yet drew the Ace of Cups... a reminder that the problem can wait for a bit... she is coming, she is outpouring herself to me, to us.

She means for me to surrender.  And I will.  All of me will.

Men aren't taught to surrender.  But I have learned how, and how powerful surrender is... she is worthy to receive it.

Too many times have I cast my pearls before swine... but not with her.

With her they are precious... I am treated and loved preciously... she is worthy.

Tomorrow?  I won't be on here, but will be in bliss, in rapture, and very much in love.

We will be moving together as the tides back and forth, to and fro...

She will drop the veil and radiate her presence upon me... filling me with such love that I almost ask to stop, as it is so powerful that I cannot stand it... yet I bear it anyway because I know I must... it is growth.  Love breeds growth and light.

The kind of love I cannot even put to words, I can only feel, can only experience...

The kind of love I am completely and utterly naked and helpless before... yet so loved and protected.

And this ritual starts with 5 simple words that echo out of my heart:  "I am here, my love."

Blessings.

(Edit:  She seems farther away this time for some reason.  I can feel her drawing closer...  I wish I knew why that is sometimes that it takes her much longer to get "here".)

(Final Edit:  She's here!  Almost 4 complete days.  Who's the master here??? Haha, honestly I don't care.  It's an "us" thing :P)

The Silver Angel

I was reading some spiritual things (I often take a lot of courses that cross spiritual boundaries) and found something very interesting:


"I looked to my right and could see a silver form appearing as a sihouette through mist.

As it approached I felt a deep sense of love that encompassed all of the meanings of the word.

It was as though I was seeing a lover, a mother, and best friend, multiplied a thousand fold.

As the being of light came closer, these feelings of love intensified until they became too pleasurable almost to withstand."

- Thomas Sawyer (from his NDE)

Sure sounds a lot like when my lady does her thing I call "Love Bombs" (a term I borrowed from a woman with an incubus lover)... almost too much love, as weird as that sounds it's so much it feels as if it will burn you to nothing but ashes as it penetrates so deep.

Also my feelings for her as lover, mother, and best friend.  Interesting stuff.

Well... pfft.

So in my last post I'm pretty much thinking the sex had evolved into a higher form of love.

And yes,  we indeed seem to be evolving towards a higher form of love, or perhaps adding to the broadness of the love we already share... but I figured basically the "erotic passion" kind was gone.

Here she comes all last night and this morning... rocked me merciless and senseless.

NON STOP lovemaking... temptress and seductress incarnate all over me.

My body was on FIRE with sensation... until I just couldn't take it anymore.

Then she retreats so softly, so feminine... She strokes my hair, touches me, brushes across my cheek as normal.

Little kisses on my lips as she does...

I give.  I GIVE UP!!!  Just when I think I got her figured out she turns the tables on me.

Meh.  Oh well.  I give up trying to understand her anymore.  I'll just love her.  Easier, lol.