Questions, questions, questions

Bunny's an enigmatic lil' Succucritter, so I find I'm troubled with some questions.

She's often here for 2 or 3 days and gone for 4 or 5.  It's pretty cyclic.

Does she have a job at SuccuMart on the other side, or what?

I'd really like to have her around full time if I could.  I'd really love for her to live "here" as much as possible.

That's why I created her "house".

Here's what it really looks like, btw:

I don't see any harm in showing the store pic.  You know how hard is is to divine what she wanted and stuff this little thing with 20+ herbs, oils, personal items, and semiprecious stones?

Ya got 3 inches, after all it's just a "keepsake urn."  That pic is actual size.

When I finally got it all to fit (like a freakin' game of Tetris or somethin') I hot glued the threads and screwed the top on... pretty much permanently shut.

Hey, maybe it's too damn full for her to fit in it.

Nah, j/k.

The other thing I wonder is if she has to go home to recharge before she can come back here.

But then I think, "Well, I charge her home all the time.  I even rub it with scented oil while thinking about her."  So, I dunno.

My magick life has been really good, so I can't see it as a lack of personal power.  Although I could be lacking in being able to charge it with specifically what she needs to stay.

I dunno what to do about that.

I still think she has a job at SuccuMart.  I mean for real, why does she have to go back home, anyway?

Other Succubloggers seem to have theirs stick around 27/7 just fine.

***

I had another shitty dream.  It was more abandonment and getting cheated on.  God Dammit.  How do you break out of this stuff?  I mean, it's from BIRTH.  I just can't seem to shake it.

I was kind of mad at Bunny for having it because she was like "right here".  Probably unjustly.

Maybe she did cause me to have it, to realize I need to find a way to get rid of this baggage and stat.

It's only been 40 fuckin' years of it.  Can't imagine a quick fix, and I'm all in what I'm supposed to be doing for the long haul, so what am I supposed to do?

*Break to think about it*

***

Well I don't know what to do about it.  I'll have to put it in the "figure out later" folder for now.

Bunny.  You know, I post a lot of succubus and angel photos and stuff, and that's great but that's not what I really think Bunny looks like.

I think she looks more like this, to be honest:

Kinda solid, but not really.  Mostly energy outlined with a few physical lines to express ideas, or perhaps traits.

She's a shifter, and her favorite form she seems to use around me is the cat.  I can feel her claw up the blankets and stomp up to the pillow and disappear.

Not sure why she does this, maybe she just wants to, I dunno.

Yes, yes, I get that I call her "Bunny" but she prefers a cat form when she's not an energetic cloud of "her".  I called her Bunny long before she introduced her "cat" antics, so it stuck.

Maybe shifting is just her expressing herself.

What's that tee shirt?  If you can be yourself be yourself, but if you can be a unicorn always be a unicorn?  Lol.

Oh!  Btw, I took Bunny's real name (no, not "Bunny") and did some research.  Together, the root words of the syllables mean, "Sexuality through harmony," or "Harmony through sexuality."  Those are the two meanings I got out of my research. 

***

Anyway. 

I'm in a mood I guess.  Just tired of the "3 days on, 5 days off" thing with Bunny.

I dunno, other things are bothering me to.  Are we married?  Boyfriend/Girlfriend?  I have to admit that bothers me more than a little bit.

I guess that's the fear of abandonment talking, isn't it?

Be glad if I can finally get rid of that somehow.

I guess I did good getting rid of the female hate.  Now what?  I've got a mountain right in my way that screams, "Trauma, motherfucker!".

It's tall, make of Adamantium, the only way is through it and all I have is a plastic Dollar Store shovel.

***

Been doing some more thinking.  

You know, Bunny and I are more like... well... it's like she's my Spirit Guide with the occasional sexual benefit rather than me and a Succubus.

We have sex maybe... once a week.  If I'm lucky.  That's not a whole lotta "succu", ya know?

Now, it's probably got something to do with me not being sidetracked by SuccuNookie, because it's damn good.  Good as in, "Lets just dispense with the physical parts and get right to the sensations" good.  That's kinda hard to explain, but it's addicting.  As.  Fuck.

Now, at 6 mo. cycles she does go into "baby rabies" mode.  I like that.  I joke that I run, and I kinda do psychically to fuck with her, but she eventually wears me down and overpowers me anyway... it's more of a game to see how long I can fend her off.  Kinda fun, really.

But as good as that is, I don't know what to do about the sex once a week.  If Bunny has decided to move into more of a "Spirit Guide role" with sex once a week and mating rights every 6 mo, maybe I'm supposed to get open to the idea of pulling Succubus #2 into the scene?

I really don't want that, I'd rather Bunny be my one and only.

Where I first learned to summon a succubus there were a few categories of traits that, in general, tended to be common, which put them in general "ideas". 

These aren't exactly "categories," more of how an author grouped them based on his observations. 

One is called the, "Spiritually Evolved Succubus".  They tend to be more into teaching, mentoring, and guiding.  That's Bunny.  At least her behavior.

Maybe in my great need I attracted one of these, aka Bunny.

The "Romantic" type of Succubus is the kind that is a loving, sweet and gentle spirit that excels in putting their lovers into a state of bliss, through long sessions of love making sex or otherwise.

Sign me up!

Then there's the "Player Succubus (kind of a stupid name) aka let the good times roll" kind of succubus.  Sex and seduction.  They love the seduction and don't really understand the concept of personal space.  They like to tease and conquer.  I don't have any experience with one of these.  

Not interested.

Another type is called the "Sexual Type."  (kind of a stupid name again)

They are more into romping until you finally have to turn over and go to sleep.

Non-committal, fun fun fun.

Meh, Not interested.  Yes, yes, the fucking sounds great, but not the con-committal part.  Not with my bag of issues.

Maybe I attracted what I needed.  Maybe Bunny always has been the "Spiritually Evolved" type of Succubus.  God/dess knows I've probably needed that more in my life anyway. 

I still do need her, I'm not going anywhere and I don't want her to either to be honest.

But... I don't know.  I'm not going to just go out and summon another until I'm damn sure about what Bunny's feelings on the matter are, and I'm not going to if she doesn't like the idea, either.  After all, she could be doing this for some purpose and I'm just not understanding.  

That's ALWAYS a possibility.

***

Now, about those every 6 mo. episodes of "mating season":

Yes, It's Bunny, not another Succubus.  It's Bunny with a diagnosis of baby rabies is what it is... as in she's there to mate.  She's almost feral, and she's horny as fuck.  And she's much more aggressive than normal.

Do I know if I have children?  I think I do.

Do I know what they are?  More Succubi and Incubi I think.

Do I care?  Yes, and No.  Yes that I care about them, no that I don't have any perception of them, so what's the difference.  But of course I do wonder and I do care.  I just don't know much.  It sucks.

Do I worry about what effect these children will have on the world?

No.  Why?  Because if they are anything like Bunny, her gentleness, her sweetness, the world should write me a check.

More Succubi and Incubi for everybody!  And part of those who get one in the future can thank me. Yep, me.

Who knows?  If they grow fast, I might be a grandpa already.

So if you're new, and you've got a new succubus, you may ask her, "Who's your daddy?"

It's me... motherfucker.  Hahahaha.  Well, maybe.

Do I really believe any of this?  

Well, the 6 mo. sex is different and she gets feral as all hell.  We're mating like bunny rabbits during that time and like I said, it sure as hell doesn't feel the same, either.  It not energy draining, but it's physically exhausting from all the muscle spasms and contractions.

Something is created from it, that I am sure of.  The rest is speculation.  But like I said, if we're creating more entities like Bunny I have no worries at all.  If there were more people in this world as sweet and gentle as she, the world would be a better place.

Call me crazy, but I would like to think that I'm doing my part to spread a little love around the world.

God/dess knows it fucking needs it.

Err... is it mating season again, my Bunny?

(I'll take that as a yes)