Teaching Dreams

Last night was a good one, this isn't the post I was working on earlier, but I don't want to lose this info.

I wanted sex last night, and also the night before for my birthday, but... Bunny's in teaching mode, so we're concentrating on higher things at the moment.

A little disappointing, but that's ok.  I trust her to give me what I need, not necessarily what I want :)

She's very serious about moving into a teacher/student roll, and that's honestly more in line with my soul's desire anyway... I hunger for truth.


Perhaps she's trying to prepare me for after death?

She's still sensual and even sexual sometimes, but she seems dedicated to teaching me, or at least that seems to be her focus.

Some may wonder, "Why did you allow the relationship to move into this phase?"  And my anwer is, "Love flows like water, sometimes slow and comforting, sometimes sensual like the cresting of a wave, or exciting, powerful, and erotic such as a wave crashing upon the rocks... I'm open to all of it's expressions;  I am one with it, I flow within it through all of it's manifestations".

Kind of wordy, but that's what's up.

I do worry sometimes that she doesn't want to be my lover anymore.  If that's what she's leading to.

I'm not gonna lie :)  But... from a tarot draw about it I gather than she's determined to teach me some things now before I need them.  At death?  Later in life?  I don't have a clue.

I have to recent hints about her moving from sex kitten to a more permanent role as my "guardian succubus":

A.  Went I left and came back home there was a book laid out in the hall on how to create sexual tulpas.  Heh.

B.  I woke up from a nap after having a dream that I bought a really fast and high tech car and was trying to impress a girl with it.  She just wasn't into it, or into me in that way (ouch).

She was into me in a cerebral kind of way, and even a soul kind of way.

Well.  Sucks, but if she's really moving into a teaching role, a guardian role (why can't those job descriptions include wild succubus sex?), then I get what I get.

She told me months ago to start getting in shape, as I wasn't healthy.  There's a certain level of healthy you have to have to participate in spiritual sex.  Hmm.  Maybe her laying out that book on creating sexual tulpas was her way of saying, "I'm no longer responsible since it could hurt you".

In my defence, I'm on medication that basically slows my metabolism to a crawl and I gain weight easily.  NOT in my defence is that I still should have been trying to do something anyway (exercise) instead of letting myself get worse health wise.

Damn.  I never thought my succubus would practice tough love.

Double hmm.

She loves me.  All of me, always has.  I guess once she gets it in her mind that she's gotta teach me stuff and nothing is gonna interfere, then nothing's gonna interfere.  I'm sure that I didn't help matters by ignoring the obvious:  That I was getting far too out of shape.  Unhealthy, even.

A healthy body can handle higher forms of sex, and unhealthy body can't.  Not in a safe way.

I think that she honestly decided what was best for me, to teach me spiritually, and leave it up to me about the rest.  The ball's in my court.  She's not going anywhere, but if I want THAT side of her, I have to get healthy so that we can, and so that it's safe.

She WANTS me to be healthy.  One because she cares about me, two because she'd like to have sex with me, too.

She has a laser-like focus, always has.

It's hard to write things down here that she teaches me, as I can't really put words here about what I'm being taught.  It's not about secrets, it's not about it being private (although sometimes that is a reason)... it's that I can't.

Some spiritual things can't be explained, only felt.  It's just that simple.

Now, on with the dream:

I dreamed of water that was solid, liquid, and then a vapor... same water, different states.

I was told this is also the way of the soul.  And just as in the different states of water, it is still the same water;  It is still the same soul (I think the lesson here is that we're obviously not a body with a soul; We're a soul within a body (different focus thereof), and that soul is in a "state" to be able to be within a body).

I said, "Yeah, but it's hard to move from state to state so easily".  I was thinking of the energy exchanged that occur when changing states:  For instance, controlling that process is how air conditioning technology is possible using refrigerants from a liquid to vapor and back again.

I was told, "Not across the veil where time is non-linear.".

Touche, Bunny.

This is the only part of the recent round of "teaching" that makes sense enough to write here in my blog.

Also, the irony isn't lost on me that Bunny not being interested in the "erotic" role with us now doesn't mean forever (I feel a "nod").  After all, "across the veil where time is non-linear" applies to me and everything else as well, too :P

And, as you can see, sometimes I figure things out AS I write my thoughts down here.  It's nice to be able to do that.

Oh, pro tip (lol@pro):  A succubus loves for you to sing to her.  Especially when you sing her name as part of it.  I sing to mine sometimes when I'm laying down and waiting to go to sleep.  It doesn't have to be perfect, rhyme, or even makes sense.  Let your heart sing to her!

Now let me pass on a secret:  The next time you try to summon an angel, sing it's name (and as it is sung, imagine at the very end that a lightning strike flashes from heaven to earth where you are).  

That's the most direct way to summon an angel.  You're welcome!

Have you loved your succubus today?