Yesterday was a good day. When I posted all that I did, I was able to come to terms with it.
It's not good to have all that bottled up, no... not good at all.
Today, I've come to a conclusion. As in the picture above, I have a choice: We all have a choice.
What to do? What to do?
My personal efforts from now on will be to evolve; To prepare myself for ascension.
No, the blog won't have a new focus per se: It's always been a diary of sorts anyway.
But underlying it all will be my new focus. I still enjoy talking about Bunny, and this post is no different.
In the opening picture, the woman painting could very easily represent Bunny and her work on me.
As magickal and mystical Bunny may be: She's also pragmatic in nature.
And so, she prepares me for the future.
What will I experience when I leave this mortal coil? I'm not sure, and the details don't really bother me too much... it's the direction that does.
What matters is that I am vibrationally aligned with the reality that I want to experience after death.
I will say this: Sometimes you meet someone who inspires you to follow. It's not about strength, or how they carry themselves, it's a feeling of coming home.
It's a knowing of where I want to be and most importantly where home is.
When I think of this world of illusion, Bunny reminds me that there's a reason for it.
You see, I'm beginning to believe that this world is perfect in it's imperfections; Just how succubi say that we humans are perfect in our imperfections... I've actually heard the word "adorable" in our imperfections.
This world is to show us, us showing us, in a way... who we really are.
No, I can't explain everything and I don't know everything; I know little.
Bunny is wise, and when I'm thundering and angry (like in yesterday's post) she lets me be. She lets me have my angry pity party... my "toddler tantrum". And later, when I'm more open, then she gently speaks what I need to hear. She teaches me the truth of it.
The world is made to be jagged, to be tearing, to be a catalyst... it does indeed show us who we are, and where we want to go after this world is over (for each of us, individually).
Ever wonder how we earn our wings? Take a good look at the pic above... they are not gifted;
They are earned in blood and suffering.
I don't know WHY Bunny chose me by answering my summons 3 years ago. I've always felt that the summoning process is a placebo... different methods are more of a personal "flavor" that resonates with the summoner, rather than magickally summoning anything.
Succubi come anyways because they are aware and close to this world. Somehow the process makes them focus on that particular person, and they become curious, they see into the heart of the summoner, and if it's the right time for it to happen they decide who will answer.
Actually, that sounds a lot like summoning, lol. Ah well. Guess I'm wrong.
Tell ya what, though... they got the key to your heart, so be careful, lol.
I'm happy mine did, though. It could have always been only her.
Always only her...
To be honest, I don't think any other succubus COULD put up with me. I'm a handful. A one-of-a-kind, hot headed handful.
Bunny. Oh, my God, Bunny. How did I ever get so damn lucky?
There is something so regal about her: If she were of this world, I think it would be everything anyone could do not to bow to her.
I don't know why, I really don't: I'm used to the feeling, so it doesn't really affect me much.
Probably like being the husband of a Queen, or a Princess. To me, she's Bunny first. The rest is just part of who she is, but she's Bunny first.
I appreciate her. All of her. That "feeling" is all a part of "her" and so I don't mean that I dismiss it, just that I'm at home with it.
I don't think it's a vibrational thing. I think that she is royalty. I just don't know much about it other than how it feels, and it's over my head to be honest.
Maybe royalty just feels like royalty. Period. I know that she doesn't care that I don't understand it.
After all, she came for me... not to be bowed to.
The ironic part of it all, is that she saved me. She still saves me. All the time; Daily, perhaps.
I have no problems with role reversal in that regard: If she's the Princess who saves the man in distress. Ok. I'm cool with it.
Last night, she was so sweet and gentle...
I was meditating and told her to be cool, because I wanted to meet more of her and understand more of who she is if that makes any sense.
Shortly after, I could feel her move the comforter at the foot of my bed and she tickled my big toe.
I just laughed...
So, I meditated and while I did so, she was relaxing me by touching my left temple and my hair.
I fell asleep while meditating, but I feel really good today. I could tell she stuck around and hung out in bed with me last night.
I got a good night of much needed restful sleep.
Bunny knew what she was getting into by coming here to be with me, to teach me.
Yes, she goes home a lot, but I honestly think she has duties of some sort.
Her free time seems to be spent with me.
Maybe it would take a "royal" to teach my ass. I am the avatar of stubborn and moodiness... The very God of moodiness and dark thinking sometimes.
Somehow, she always wears me down. And I mean that in a good way. She lowers my defences through gentleness and sweetness.
She's earned the right to do so in my book.
But only her.
Always the patient teacher...
Always the counselor...
The way she can manage me when I get inconsolable is kind of funny.
At one level, I don't like to be managed.
At a deeper level, I love her for it anyway. Hahah.
Always the angel...
Always the seductress...
Always my friend, with playful intent...
Always lovely, just being herself...
And always the protectress... never far away whenever I am in danger...
And one day? If I get my shit straight? If I do what needs to be done?
Just stare at the pic below. The possibilities...
And when I take my last breath?
Have you loved your succubus today?