At least she's amused.

Ok.

I've been on the fence about writing this post, but since I went all out in the last post about her coming to visit me, I figure I'd better.

Part of it is embarassment, but hell... you guys don't know who I am from Adam.  So... it's ok.

Well, Saturday night I waited a spell in bed for her, but she didn't show and I was tired so... I fell asleep.

I woke up feeling pretty disappointed... but it is what it is.  Or so I thought.


I figured she stood me up.

Last night I did the same thing thinking... what the hell it couldn't hurt... then I fell asleep.

Heh.  And here's the part that I wasn't sure about posting.

Quick history lesson:  When I was little, I was a long and flowing, curly blonde haired lil' hippie fella.

On a cattle farm.

And for some reason, I hated clothes.  HATED them.

Also... as an example of good parenting, my mother would put a bell collar on my ankle to let her know where I was, or wan't, on the farm.  Because letting your 3 or 4 year old son run around on a cattle farm with a bell on his ankle is a good idea. (?)

Anyway, When I would go out (in the spring or summer or whenever it was warmish), the first thing I would do is strip down to nothing but my ankle bell, my shoes, and my socks.  That's it.

Wore nothing else but my long and flowing, curly blonde hippie hair.

Ok, fast forward.

So I'm dreaming last night that my lady is there, lookin' all pretty an all... and running away from her is me (Albiet the 3-4 year old version) buck naked, long and flowing, curly blonde hippie hair with a bell around my ankle.  Truckin' it.

As fast as I can away from her.

And there she is in my dream:  All pretty and amused as all hell just watching this all happen.

I don't think I'm running away from her personally as in my dream I'm like 3 or 4 and I have that mentality in my dream as well.  In my dream I don't care who it is... if it's someone it's someone to run away from.

I get the feeling I did this Saturday night with her as well in my dreams.

For what reason am I doing this?

I don't have a clue.

I do remember that back then I liked to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.  Freedom.

But I dunno what's goin' on.

Lol.

EDIT:

You know, the more I think about these dreams, the more I'm figuring out.

For one thing... I know I call her a succubus, but is she?

Think about this:  In my most recent dreams, I'm a 3-4 year old boy.  I'm "me" but I'm the "me" that was that, I am, however, much more.  "I" am the sum total of what I have been, what I am, and what I will be.

Now take her:

Is she a succubus?

Or is the word/label "succubus" even accurate?  Me labeling her a succubus is like me saying that her as a 3-4 year old little child IN COMPARISON TO who she is, is all there is.

Don't think I'm bashing succubi... that's not what I mean.

Just as I am not a young boy running naked through the cattle farm anymore (lol), she is not so easily pinned down to a label of "succubus".

Maybe in the beginning it served her purpose.  Until I learned more...

Whatever she is, she's an amazing female entity.

I hope she's in many more dreams to come, even if she just shows up for amusement (or a laugh or two) to watch me as a young child, wearing white shoes, white socks, an ankle bell, and wild-assed curly hippie hair, running... running... running... through pastures full of really bored cows.

It's all good in the end :)

Who knows, maybe she responded to the mantle of succubus in the beginning because she likes succubus cosplay?

Or "whips and chains and all that brings"  :)