The Gardenia

This is going to be a little different than most of my posts, but I feel it deserves to be shared.

I've been reaching out to communcate more with whatever benefactor seems to have fancied me.

Must have bad taste :P

Anyway, yesterday I caught a scent of gardenia for a few seconds here in my apartment.  I don't have any gardenia here in my apartment, nor were the windows open, nor the doors to the outside.  It was strickly a scent put into my brain by a spirit or at least someone not on this plane (is all I can figure).

I decided to take this a step further and experiment, so I went and bought some gardenia wax cubes for my scentsy warmer.  I put 2 into the warmer plate, let them melt for the evening, and at bedtime, I of course had the room smelling wonderfully of gardenia before I went to sleep.

It should also be noted that I have been meditating on the Kabbalic 72 names of God.  Well, usually I pick just one of the 72 names a night and chant it as a mantra or meditate on the meaning as I'm falling asleep.

Oh, here's a pic of the wax cubes I'm talking about that go in a warmer:

Now, the next morning upon awakening (this morning, actually), two words were burned into my brain:  "Fervid Censer".  I am very forgetful, but when things like that are "burned" into my brain I'll get no peace until I find the meaning.  So, having a 3rd degree black belt in "Google-fu", off I went.

I found this (it's called a Fervent Censer and it's from Guild Wars 2):

Now tell me that isn't the wildest synchronicity one could have?

Anyway, Gardenia mundanely represents "To symbolize a budding ecstasy, usually the result of secret and newly blooming love." according to one site.

The magickal correspondence seems to be "Healing, Love, Peace, Spirituality".

(I always look for a surface meaning and a deeper meaning to everything.  Yeah, gets cumbersome but it's my way)

So, it seems that a higher love is being spoken.

Now, this doesn't mean that it was or wasn't a spirit or my benefactor, or who knows?  But it was someone, and with a  pretty clear symbolic message, regardless.

This actually makes a bit of sense, as I was just talking to my buddy who seems to go through a lot of spiritual stuff near the same as me, even when we don't share it until later.  What we were talking about was that I was feeling a strange "hunger".  Not for food, money, sex, power, nothing.  A hunger for something that cannot be truly named.

And, that's what I've been chasing.  As best I know how at least.  Which means I don't know what to do next, but, they spoke first so I'll just listen and try to be open.

I didn't say I have the answers because I don't, but I do think this all is very synchronicitous regardless, and wanted to share...

EDIT: I took a short nap after studying a little from the book "Words of Power".

During my nap, my lady showed up and rode me like a riding lawn mower. The strange thing is she rode me up, and up, and up until I was about to lose it... and then BAM: Awake.

This isn't the first time she's done that... although it was the most powerful.

Now see, I think this was planned and I'll explain: She wasn't teasing me to tease me, no... this was a way to get all that sexual energy rising up my spine and driving it like a nail through my crown chakra.

This was something done with reason.

Why do I think so? Because usually after a fella gets all worked up and then nothing there's pain down there. But when I woke up, yes... there was discomfort, but after 10 minutes it was gone... desire, sexual impulse, all of it... gone.  That's not the way it usually works...

And that just doesn't make sense.

Unlike the lady I know now, I have in times past been regularly fed on by a succubus that left me completely drained.  Like, can blink your eyes and that's all the energy you have left drained (Her actions were actually doing me an indirect favor as sometimes when I enter a hypomanic state I produce too much energy than I can handle).  But I digress.

So, I know the energy wasn't consumed because I know that feeling well.

No, it was transmuted.

Guess I'll see what happens next :)

Sicut In Caelo Et In Terra!