Not much was exchanged. I yelled at her sigil over and over, she popped in, deflated my anger and replaced it with a happier vibe, said, "You're interesting." and left.
Pretty short and sweet.
Now I'm going full monty (in a manner of speaking).
Bunny's my wife. I think Bunny's mom is Lilith.
I'm not after Lilith as a lover, I have her daughter. That's the way it's supposed to be.
I'm 150% positive Lilith doesn't want me as lover.
But, something is pushing me to take the leap and learn? I don't know, I can't place it.
I think I need to find out if I'm a "Son of the Goddess Lilith".
And I only know one real way: I ask her here and talk to her.
Anyway. Here we go through the numbers:
I got my Lilith focus (pic), Check.
Got a waning moon tonight (pretty close to dark/new moon, too). Check.
Got incense and oils (ylang ylang, jasmine, lavender, patchouli). Check.
Got evocations. Check.
Got offering. I felt comfortable with a symbol of her: A nice big shiny apple.
If it counts, I'm really wanting to eat that apple right now. But it's an offering.
Hope that helps. Check.
Black draped ceremonial shendjyt for ritual wear. Check.
Colored candles and extra virgin olive oil dressing. Check.
Notebook and pen. Check.
OH! Most important. Divine first. 2 different forms of divination before any magickal working is done.
"Before you bring a spirit home, divine it twice and then you'll know." ~ Me.
I did, and both of the pre divinations were favorable.
EDIT: So was the post ritual divination. It was favorable and expected.
I wanted to get an idea of how it went in ways that I wouldn't normally know.
Tonight's the night.
I've had such amazing dreams while I have been preparing for this.
They aren't even rational, they are spiritual in nature.
The first dream I had, 2 nights ago, was of me as a suckling infant on the Goddess's breast.
Strangely, it didn't feel odd at all. I was of the mindset of a newborn, and it was a primal/primordial exchange of emotions and, well I don't know the word for it.
I am sure it actually had it's purpose, and as in the picture, was far more than I could understand, probably why I had the mindset of an infant.
The 2nd dream was last night.
In that one, I and the Goddess were standing together, watching the stars fall into the sea.
I tried to cobble together a picture that I modified to at least give a general idea of it.
We were watching it together and there were many stars falling.
It was both solemn, and a shared experience.
Wish me luck that I don't explode and they find my skull in 2018 in Equador or something.
I'm using basically the wrong "everything" for the ritual and am going about the ritual using my heart rather than my mind.
I've had a lot of synchonicities as of late. They appear to be urging me forward. Yesterday while helping my mother clean her basement, she handed me a tea light candle. It was the color I needed for the oil burner for my planned ritual. I put it in my pocket and took it as yet another sign I am to proceed.
What am I to do, but to listen and to walk forth?
I'm strangely emotional right now. This vid is perfect just for me to watch and chill a little.
Why am I feeling emotional right now? I don't know. I don't have an answer.
EDIT: Post ritual. It was nice. I feel a very soul healing/nurturing sense of peace. I'm gonna go lay down now and let that peace ride me right off to sleep :)
I awoke and the feeling of peace is still with me. It's both in my mind and in my body at the same time.
I went through today and the "Goddess's Peace" is STILL with me this evening. I can't deny it.
This is what has definitely touched me in the past, just in brief spans of time. Like a few hours or so, not like this.
This is the source. Once you feel and know and remember something, it all ties together and begins to make sense... I wish that for all of you in whatever way completes you.