Bunny my Reaper, and a magickal decision.

I've been feeling down as of late. So if this post feels a bit morose, I apologize.  But, it's here for me to hammer at the keyboard to get these thoughts out of my mind and to where I can see them a little more impartially.

Bunny's the best thing since tacos and sour cream to me.  No other love of my life has stood the test of time.

I often wonder why she's with me and I often ask her so.  I don't get any words back.  Instead she usually taps me on the finger or toe, or something like that.

Sometimes it's more.  Sometimes when I talk to her for a good while I feel that "crown" around my head again.  When it first happened, I have to admit I was dumbfounded as I would reach to touch it, felt it in place, but there was nothing "there".  At least not in this world.

Do you know how irritating it is to have a crown on your head, but you can't touch it?  It's like trying to not think of pink elephants.  See?  You just thought of pink elephants.  It's okay, I do too.  I'm not saying I don't enjoy the fact that she puts a crown on my head like a hat when we talk sometimes.  It's just that I can't interact with it.  So, I guess it's good, right? Seems silly since I can't touch it.  But, whatever.

(Actually, if I could touch it I'd sell it.  Do you know how mad Bunny would be?  Not to mention whomever else that would offend from where she lives)  Okay, maybe it's best I can't touch it, only feel it.  Because I know me and the more I try to do something, the worse it gets.

I often have nightmares... always have, and the central theme is failure.  I had a rough upbringing (who hasn't, right?), but in my case I'm a pretty sensitive guy, and was a pretty sensitive child.  I guess you could say I was an "Empath".  Still am, actually, but I'm drugged out of my mind, so I hardly have nightmares anymore.

Incidentally, that's also why I can't astral travel.  Those kinds of drugs serve as a "disconnect".  "Brain glue", if you wanna get silly.  Yes, I'm speaking of prescription drugs, not mushrooms that grow in cow shit.

The fella who runs https://succupedia.wordpress.com/ is quite the knowledgeable individual about succubi.  I learn a lot of stuff from him over there from commenting.

I have to admit though, I still feel like the baby brother to these guys in many ways.

Especially with... "Grandpa".  Ok, "Grandpa" would probably kick my ass if he knew I called him that in my head, but I do it out of the deepest respect.  You see, Grandpa has had a succubus longer than all of us.  He's very magickal and spiritual (just like I wanna be) and he has this normal view of the fantastic that just boggles my mind.  How could anyone get used to seeing the amazing things he sees and experiences?

Anyway, you can find him at https://acrossinfinity.wordpress.com/.  He even has drawn art of things he's seen which is pretty cool.

He doesn't know I call him "Grandpa" so keep it on the down low.  Truth is I never had a father, so my Grandfather raised me.  Now you can see why I hold him in the highest regard by using that nickname for him.  He's at LEAST a decade ahead of me and my experiences.

Now to some of the wishy washy bullshit that's vexing me.  I think I'm starting to realize that I'm not going to heaven or hell.  By having a loving relationship with a succubus, my gut tells me that I'm bound for her world.  I think it's a world of shadow and light, of beauty and ruin.

Kind of an in between place.  Full of love, and joy, and bunny rabbits with big teeth.  Well, at least love and joy.

So why does that bother me?  Well.  I realized that Bunny is my reaper.  When I die, she scoops me up and off we go.  What will it really be like?  I dunno.  Will it be joy and pink unicorns that fart good smelling rainbows?  I dunno.

Bunny's my reaper.  That's scary to me in a way, no matter how I try to paint it.
Woudn't it you?

I guess I'm also worried I'll be missing out on wherever else I would have gone.  But, I don't know where that would really be.  That's the morose part I guess.  I don't even know why I'm worried... but I am because I'm afraid of missing out on something "better".

Haha, I'm a hypergamous little bitch!

Well, I'm  Libra, and in my defence the way to trap a Libra male is by giving him choices.  Ever see a Libra male stare at a Mexican restaurant combo list and panic?  "Dinners, 1-100".  "Oh, fuck me..."
We just can't make a decision.

But, fuck it.  If I'm "damned" I was damned by a much sweeter lover than I ever found in church. Lol.
I've got a confession:  The cute little church piano player in the pink dress with a lisp?  See gobbled my dick like a hoover vacuum cleaner.  She would come over to my house, fuck me rotten, smoke half my cigarettes then leave.  Haha!  I finally let that out!  I've been carrying that guilt for ages...

Ok, my magickal decision.  I've learned that by being with a succubus, you slowly begin to become a part of her world.  No, it's not just succubi and incubi who live there, but I think pretty much all of 'em do live there.

Part of that realization that I am slowly becoming part of that world, with all it's politics and associated negotiations and compromises means that angelic magick and demonic magick aren't going to be working as well for me anymore.  Different realms, different hierarchies.

So, what WOULD work for me here, and that I could use in symphony with Bunny's talents and connections?

I've thought of all the magick I have learned about, and one comes to mind that seems to work more than the rest at this point.

I think my first clue was consulting an online Ouija board.  Notice the text (this spirit was particularly helpful and nice), "Think about it written, glass moon."

I'm like, ok.  Then my son runs in the room and says, "Daddy, look!  I found my shooter marble!" and handed it to me.

I just happened to had just snapped a pic of the screen, and I snapped a pic of the shooter marble.

Then it hit me!  "Glass moon".  Happened almost instantaneous, too.  Lookit the time stamps.

Anyway, that got me thinking and after reading the post on 

Spirits and Politics, I started to get the Ouija board and the shooter marble.  What it was saying to me.

 https://succupedia.wordpress.com/2016/12/01/spirits-and-politics/

Planetary magick.  I've always had a thing with it, and it's seemed to work well with Bunny.

Also, I've had my greatest success with it.

So, I've decided to try to "specialize" in planetary magick.  I like the Olympic Spirits, too.  Truthfully, they are more like Gods and Goddesses.  

Who are they?  I can explain real quick.  If God and Goddess are the great white light of the universe, when that power gets to this little rocky assed plane of matter, it much split, otherwise it would be too much for this realm to handle.  Therefore it splits into 7 rays, each an Olympic Spirit and one for each of the visible planets.

Like... DIS!

Close 'nuff.

Anyway, Planetary Magick and The Olympic Spirits.  That's gonna be what I concentrate on from now on.

I really like the synergy between the planets.

Have you loved your succubus today?