Bunny Went Off

I just woke up, and I've got a lot rolling around in my mind from my dreams.

I was missing Bunny, so I did a ritual to draw her closer... in truth, it works both ways I am sure.

I probably was distant from her, perceiving it as her distant from me.

Same difference.

I've been thinking a lot about the universe and about modern culture here on earth.

It seems to me as if women have all the power.  They have cornered the market on victimization, shattered the glass ceiling, yet look at the stereotypes that remain.

If a woman offers you her ass, you're expected to pound it immediately, or you're not a "real man".

Must be gay, eh?

Men have no reproductive rights, at all.

I hate abortion.  It blows my mind that if a woman gets pregnant, it's a fetus.  If she wants it to be, that is.  She could also call it a baby.  Whatever she wants it to be, it is.

That's real power.

If she calls it a fetus, the man cannot do anything... it's killed, broken up into parts, and sucked out.

He has no say.  Goodbye, son or daughter.

If she decides to grant it the title of "baby", now he's responsible for it.  Odd, isn't it? She has the power to give life, or to destroy it.  He has neither.

Men are slaves to their desire, women use it and craft it into what they desire.

It can leave a man down the road to feeling quite impotent and rather like a tool.

This is where Bunny went off on me.  Her thoughts and emotions, my interpretation in words.  That's how it works:

"Men desire, women take that and create or destroy.  What happens when men become immune to desire?  What happens when men decide not to be a part of the wheel?  You say you have no choice, yet choices are already having an impact.  Look at South Korea, Japan.  Look at the whole western world.  Look at ancient Rome.  Of what value is a barren womb?"

"Your world takes all the fun out of gender.  Your world is a battlefield.  Your world is a school, just as you have always suspected.  But what if? What if you could see just a glimpse of what we see? What if you could know just a sliver of what we know?  I will free you... then your eyes will open just enough to see how genders play elsewhere, and you will have HOPE for what comes after this world."

Powerful parable of what she is trying to get through my skull

This post is all over the place, and I know it is.  It's random thoughts typed to post, nothing more, nothing less.  I guess this post is more of a "dear diary" rambling than anything.

Sometimes it just feels good to write, you know?  Putting thoughts down, pen to paper (so to speak),

This may sound off, but I'm starting to think that Bunny's end game is different than what I've thought.  I think that it is to make it so that I am not swayed by sex anymore.  That the ecstasy of fucking has no hold on me anymore.

Since I hate abortion, I decided that the best way to not support it is to refrain from sex with women who do.

That goes much farther.

We do have choice as men.  It's not an easy one.  Social pressure can be staggering.

All we have to do, is to choose not to do anything at all.  That's our choice to make, each of us.

I wonder if I love her just for her, without sex, without addiction, without any carnal desire.  I think I do.  I think I can love her even more than I do now, more philos, agape love, less eros.

Such irony from a succubus, and her desires.  But is it?

If a succubus has always been called for her ass, maybe she just wants to be loved for her, and without eros... maybe this is what her soul wants?

It's also ironic that I think I will be able to do that in time.  Why not?

Maybe in my little human mind, I can't fathom exactly what her playing for keeps is.

I'm leaning towards the idea that there is much more to our pairing than I will ever understand here.

Now about me walking away from what men are "expected" to do in this society...

People may read what I write on this post, and others, and deduce that I hate women.

I don't.

I love women.  I hate society as it is, there's a difference.

I want the cure...

Maybe that's what life is all about.  Maybe that's what growth is all about:  To rise above wordly attachments and desires of the body.  The desire to rid one's self of desire.  Quite the puzzle :)

I believe the answer is to simply perceive, to observe.

To see with the eyes of a God.

I have a feeling that by overcoming sexual desire, my soul will be able to "become it" somewhere along the journey.  Perhaps by knowing it and being permeated with it, then rising above it?

That doesn't make a hell of a lotta sense, but my intuition tells me that I'm close to the truth as far as that goes, and frankly that's enough for me right now.

What if that is the answer?

I've always thought of Bunny as more than just my succubus lover (which isn't really a "just" anyway) as well as my Holy Guardian Angel, aka western hermeticism's "Tutellary Daemon".

I don't know where this world is heading, and I don't care.  I feel for children who have to grow up in it, but it is what it is.  I didn't build it.

All I can do is work on me, learn from Bunny, blog what I can, do good where I can, one man or woman at a time.  That's my share.  The rest is for everyone else to take up their share...

Bunny hasn't given up on me despite my stubborness, so I won't give up on the world, I guess.

But I didn't say that I'm going play along like a good slave, either.

You see, after Kali, after meditations and chanting with Her I discovered something.

Men are the ideas, the architects of what will be.  Or, they withold it.  The absence of which (if it was benevolent) can harm as much as if something was invented TO harm and let loose.

Women are killers.  Stone cold killers.  They also bring life.  That's their duality.

God/dess created life, and death.  It's all Them.  Like it or not, it is what it is.

The God provides the impetus, the Goddess either nurtures it, or kills it.  If you prefer, consider the Goddess as a destroyer aspect in that regard, it makes no difference to me.

I don't make excuses for Them.  I just try to see things clearly, that's all I ever wanted, and still want.

They don't care about anything but the soul.  They see farther than we do, but don't for a fact think it means I'm blind.  I know who created evil.  They did.  No apologetics will disuade me because I'll shut it down in the first sentence.

I know I sound harsh.  I'm having trouble processing it, that's what's going on.

The danger in Kali, you see, is not that She'll harm you, no.  It's that She will remove the perfumes, the makeup, the sweetness and show you death.  Why?  I believe to show you that you are more.

Bit it's still a shock to process sometimes.  No, it's a shock to the psyche that I haven't quite sorted yet.  That's more honest.

Kali is freedom, brutal, take the red pill and wake up puking from the truth.  That is Kali.

Kali is freedom, no parlor tricks or niceties.  Then you deal with it alone.

Bunny is teaching me to be free... she's even teaching me to be free, even from HER (Bunny).

Perhaps that is the only mate a succubus can truly be one with.  It's strange how whatever I do, she assists me (or boots me back onto the right path again if I strayed too far off my goal, whichever).

Such irony.

One thing that I do know is this:  We know less than we know, both individually and collectively.

I also know that the greatest things in life are unseen.  Hope.  Love.  Spirit.  Soul.  The list goes on.

These are what move us, that sway us to and fro.

With that, I'll end this part of the post.

***

I've been experimenting in mediatation and wanted to share what I've done so far.

I love spirits and I love communicating with them.

Believe it or not we're all in constant communication with them, always, anyway.

There's something to the idea of an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other, figuratively.

The web is thick, and we each have our own web, which is connected to everyone else's webs at some point.

Spirits have no need to speak.  

Their language are thoughts, images, urges, emotions.

When I meditate, I first intend to communicate with a willing, good-natured spirit.

I send out a call, which is just a strong intent, powered by will.

At some point, I get a response in the form of a picture in my mind, along with an emotion the picture generates, or perhaps is carried with it (this sometimes happens instantly).

I clear my mind and form a picture of a response, then I will that image to float into the ether along with a positive emotion.

I don't know why, but I tend to attract female spirits to commune with.  I can tell they are different from each other as they all have a different "flavor" for lack of a better word.  Energy signature, vibration?  I would imagine that if I were female, I would probably attract male spirits to commune with.  Not sure, but my guess.

Anyway, this (the exchanges of mental pictures and emotion) goes back and forth for as long as possible.  Don't be surprised if you get a response to the image you are making before you are even finished with it:  I'm not sure if this is because time is wonky on the other side, or perhaps the speed at which they can read your mind, which is pretty much instantly. 

If you do have a spirit who can send words, don't be surprised if they send their response AS you send yours... this is a sure sign you've made contact with a very intelligent spirit.

Sometimes a horrid image and emotion comes along with this... yeah.

That's some spirit asshat who isn't good-natured come to fuck it up.

Best to just thank the good spirit for the communion and pick it up another time when the asshat isn't around.  Although there will always be that one around, always.

Most of the time, this is it as far as the communion goes.  Some times, however, the communion grows.

And, you just made a new friend.  Most likely a friend who will help power your magick.

You can also seek spirit allies to power your magick this way up front.

But, I find it best to make friends first.  They usually want some form of payment, and I offer "shared pleasure at making real change in the manifest world, through my world", as payment.

This is usually sufficient, however some may ask for strange things.  Don't judge:  Either you accept, or you don't.

If it's something macabre, obviously it was a spirit pretending to be someone it isn't.

If it's something weird like "keep a swan feather on your altar when we do magick together"... ok. Not a problem.  

You get the idea.  It's also good to journal your experiences.  You will often find that this type of connection will supercharge your magickal abilities as well as your other psychic senses.

Try it, and remember to have fun.  No, you don't need a magick circle for this.  No need to gather magickal power.

Oh, just for the hell of it, a little tidbit about magick circles:  Some may wonder why magicians do a banishing ritual inside of a magick circle when it's marked with magickal names to keep spirits out.

The reason is that some spirits can't read.

Hehe, now you know :)