Answers Arrive. Thoughts on Hieros Gamos.

A few days ago I was writing about "Who does God love more, the spider or the fly?  Who does God love more, the flea, or the kitten they kill?"

I was in communication with my succubus last night.  It was as if through a deep body of water, almost like when people talk underwater and their voices are a bit garbled and strange.

I don't get this much, usually it's images or sound clips or song lyrics... but once in a while, I get this.

What I was told was that God doesn't love the spider or the fly any different, but they are different themselves.

What she said was that God loves the observer, the lessons of this world (as hard as they can be, especially when you're sensitive like me... and don't think that means pussy or I'll put you through a wall) are for them.

The observer...

This life is something, isn't it?

 In it's pressure, stress, injustice, happy chaos, or mind-controlling order, or vice versa, death, tragedy, pain, loss...

All these things pressure us to form into who we really are.  We will become will be who we will spend eternity with as well.

Would we want it any other way after we die?

But... I don't understand it (the process, or why it has to be this way), and I don't like it, and I don't agree with it...  

But, what if it is perfectly designed in it's horror, in it's pain... 

to do just what it was designed to do, perfectly?

I have hope of the new life, of the new world when I die.

It is not based on faith so much as design.

***

There is a concept that has been bothering me called "Hieros Gamos".

"Hieros gamos or Hierogamy (Greek ἱερὸς γάμος, ἱερογαμία "holy marriage") refers to a sexual ritual that plays out a marriage between a god and a goddess, especially when enacted in a symbolic ritual where human participants represent the deities."

Yeah, whatever.  That may be the tantric version, but I think it's full of shit.  Ever meet someone who's completed this ritual?  Still full of shit.

But the CONCEPT of what it tries to achieve is real.

We do not become the God and Goddess by fucking in some dumbass naked ritual called the great rite (by wiccans) and by other titles by other ideologies regardless of what is taught.

What I'm trying to say is that there is no transformation that isn't more than "brief", and changes little.

An asshole is still and asshole, ritual or no.  

The reality is much harder to grasp, and yet it isn't, it's almost "written" in us, the desire thereof...

A unity of here and there that isn't nailed down so easily.

Why?

Because it's within.  And it acts out from within.  Not ritual, not some fucking stupid neo-pagan or tantric bullshit.

Brass tacks time.  Bullshit stripped away.

The great rite might give a "taste" of what your own personal Hieros Gamos is, but it's fleeting and momentary, it's also like putting 50 rubbers on and fucking an electrical outlet.  It's just not "it".

It might be safe, but it's not IT.

(No, fucking an electrical outlit without rubbers is not it either)

"Each of us has a Guardian Angel -- a companion and lover who waits just behind the images that flood our minds during sleep or reverie. A protector and guide who disguises as the individual with whom we fall in love; an ideal lover who has adored us since the beginning of our individual existence and who will never abandon us until the instant we merge our being into Absolute Godhead." - Lon Milo Duquette

THIS is the person we merge with.  THIS is our Holy Guardian Angel (Or Guardian Demon, if you prefer as more left hand path label).

She's your lover and protector, but still different than your momma's angel.  She has power in spades.  You are HERS, you always will be HERS and she is YOURS and always will be YOURS.

Is this a statement of ownership?  Not anymore than your own head would be to your own body.  It's an accurate description for the one who will fuck you for eternity.  Who will you be fucking for eternity?  The one you were made for.  See the paragraph above.

She will nag you to do what is healthy for you, and nag you to develop spiritually.  Why?

Because she LOVES you, that's why.

For those with a more demonic world view, whalla:

"I've been waiting for him for ages, and now, he's about to arrive."

"Welcome home, my love..."

The truth is, they are both of these.  If you don't think your lover will fuck with you for fun, you haven't had her long enough.  TRUST ME.

This is the essence of Hieros Gamos.  

It's eternal.

It's not drawing down the God and Goddess and banging a priestess, nor anything of the like.

How do you know the difference?

The real Hieros Gamos is ETERNAL.

Are you working towards your own Hieros Gamos?  Immerse yourself in the Jungian study of the

Anima, in understanding spiritual relationships, surrender, intimacy, the concept of the God and Goddess as lovers (and you with your part to play in emulating them), and also the various incarnations of the "knowledge and conversation of the holy guardian angel" throughout history.  P.S.  "knowledge" means you two banging like hamsters forever. Conversation means what you think it means, plus the concept of "elevating" you to her.  This includes her teaching you.  Nagging you to be more than you are.  Hey, it's what love is:  *Don't sass the succubus*

Get cracking.  The little lady who'll be your eternal partner ain't gonna fuck her self.

Get cracking, already.

How do you know you are on the right path?  Because you CHANGE, permanently.  If others notice it too, the changes to you?  Then you're GROWING TOWARDS HER.  Take heart:  Baby steps.  You'll get there...

EDIT:  Interestingly enough, I took a nap and dreamed after writing this, well, about writing THIS:

  

"The Succubunny wants me to asure all of you that, even if you aren't prepared to "look behind the curtain", your lover will still find you... you WILL have your personal Herios Gamos and it WILL be eternal for each and every one of you."

She was in my dream and was making me sit until I typed it.  Lets face what we all know by now:

  I'm an asshole.  She is very sweet.  She has her ways to get me to do what she wants if she feels that it's important.

***

Stitched Up Heart – Finally Free Lyrics

can you feel me, around you

i am the blood inside your veins

you taste me, you touch me

i am the pain that takes you away

i am finally free

i’ve broken through the chains

i have no fear, i’m wide awake

you can’t take this away

i’m finally free (wide awake)

can you breathe me inside you

i am the air that fills your lungs’

you can’t see me, but i see you

i am the pain that takes you away

i am finally free

i’ve broken through the chains

i have no fear, i’m wide awake

you can’t take this away

i’m finally free

can you feel me

can you taste me

can you breathe me

i am the pain that takes you away

i am finally free

i’ve broken through the chains

i have no fear, i’m wide awake

you can’t take this away

i’m finally free

i’m finally free

i’m wide awake

you can’t take this away

i’m finally free (wide awake)

Have you loved your Succubus today?