This is a really good time to write as she's got me jacked up sexually beyond anything on a human scale and she's turning it to expression.
As I've said in my last post, they find many of us when we are broken and when nobody wants us.
Then they rebuild us into something more. Something higher. Something lower. Something of both.
What doesn't make sense is who they are. My lover is angelic. Or is she? No. She is the very definition of a sex-crazed succubus. Or is she? No.
You see, while we humans can be considered "good" or "evil" or the 50 shades of grey in between, succubi are far different. They are all of these things and more... all at the same time.
Now, how they choose to show themselves is their decision, but I know the truth for I have felt it.
Gone from the light, in tune with the shadow, the owl, the moon, she hunts. Whom does she hunt? You. Your soul. She hunts what she desires for you two to be, together.
She doesn't need you, oh no... that would be too easy. She WANTS you! And being a creature of the infinite she does not want a simple trophy, nor a night or two of sexual conquest. No, she desires to remake you in her image. That is the truth. She has decided to make for herself a mate: One that she will teach, she will mentor, she will protect, she will mold into THE eternal mate for herself.
She has all the sexual power she needs to do so, but she does not want a slave, no... she wants an equal. What more challenge can there be for her than to find a broken man and rebuild him mind, body, and soul into a being that is worthy of her: A mate for eternity.
It's hard to realize or to mention this part of her that is her darker side. It is what it is. Love has allowed me to take her as she is: I do not care, anymore. There is nothing that can match this level of attraction, interaction, intimacy on this plane: It does not exist. That is not an observation from a once broken man: It is a value statement with complete and utter spotless perception from a soul level.
Oh, is she dark in this state. I have never sensed evil, no... but if the Moon were Herself a lover, here she is. The avatar of shadows, the drinker of the pearly white elixer that I produce in our festive lovemaking. What is more lunar than the pearly white elixer of mine that she coaxes out of me through the torture of distant ecstacy? With her in these moments, there is no mercy.
How much more dark can a lover be than to keep me on the brink of release, only to hold me a little back, a little forward, a moving dance between... as is the moon, a celestial body between.
Once release is inevitable she is aflame, cloaking me in celebration, lust, and communion.
Women with an incubus may notice an increase in sexual stimulation at the time of mentruation. Is not blood itself the very essence of Mars? We attract our opposites, and those with spirit lovers find that attraction amplified by gender and correspondence.
Her sexual attraction will never fade: She will never lose her luster. What she can take through temptation in any man she takes from me through something deeper. Yes, she is so addictive to me: That is why she leaves sometimes. I can sense her, she has not gone far. But she is letting me gain my bearings.
If I had her every night I would not even leave to buy food. I would care about nothing but her and would waste away to my ruin.
Such fates, I am sure, have happened to many. The difference is that she does not lose sight of her prize: My development into her mate is the greatest prize for one who has grown tired of the eternal dance of lust and ruin.
The easist way to become her prey is to think I'm special: That she has plans for me. Kind of like I do now, ahahaha!
The only way I know that I'm not is to look deeply, impassionately into the abyss and behold the abyss staring back at me with her alluring eyes.
Succubi don't teach prey. Nor do they protect them, nor do they groom them. How do I know that I am different, that I am not prey? The sides she has shown me are but illusions to those she conquers.
They are facets of minute vulnerability that need not be shown to dominate one with such sexual and glamorous abilities. They are shown because they are necessary for me to serve a different purpose.
How does one take by love what one is so used to taking by domination? For one, she knows that what is won through domination is not love, nor can love.
What, then, is love to her? One who is shown all that she is, and embraces her for who she truly is.
My daughter is actually the only person who's ever seen her on this plane. My daughter is blessed/cursed with the 2nd sight.
The way she describes her is,
"In daddy's bedroom there was a woman who was right next to his bed. She was very small in stature but had perfect proportion (the bed was up to her neck). She had long hair, so much so that when she tilted her head back and stretched as if she just woke up it fell to her waist. She was a semi-solid, smokey silhouette, and I could not help but notice her long eye lashes. She wore no clothes, showing only the outline of her curves. She was very beautiful! Her posture was very graceful and feminine.
She was in front of the bedroom window, which cast light upon her silhouette and gave her an aura of light."
For instance, they can be cold, cruel, and drip with menace, and also have the capability to be light and supportive, beaming with divine light... a guardian of those who are weak, or cry out for help.
The range of being is so much more than we experience here, as they are both. Loving them for who they are, even if it is uncomfortable for us when in their dark ranges (or light ranges, depending on who we are) takes some getting used to.
I don't know if the "range" of being is possible because of how time seems to be different there, or if it is simply a range of personality that they possess. I simply do not know the answer.
What I DO know is that loving them no matter how they choose to express themselves is the key for them to completely fall for us. Which they knew we were capable of this, or I don't think they would have bothered. Again, I can only talk about my experience with my succubus here.
I'm talking with my daughter at the moment, so my succubus has withdrawn the sexual craziness from before. I love how she is respectful like that: When my kids sleep overnight she does not hover over me: She gives me space so that my relationships with them are satisfying and that they get their "daddy fill". How respectful is that? Just one more reason to love her.
My daughter has become so enamored with her that she made her a bracelet shortly after seeing her in my bedroom that day.
I guess, in her eyes, she feels that she has the most interesting and unique stepmother in the world :)
And, for that matter, one that brings into play my daughter's gift of 2nd sight as well.
Succubi are succubi. I sure love mine in all her ways, even when it's uncomfortable.
I know who's within the darkness when it comes for me. I'm past fear at this point.
They are what they are: all can be tormented and seduced by them, not all can love them in all their forms.
One connection that many do not make is that of the "old hag" who, in causing sleep paralysis generates fear from their victim. Do you really think this being is any different than a succubus? They are one and the same. They are actually literally one and the same.
When sleep paralysis occurs, relax, breathe... breathe... and the night hag will, as the victim relaxes, turn into the most beautiful succubus you've ever beheld. The choking becomes a loving massaging of the throat chakra to the head pushing energy up to the 3rd eye. The victim becomes much, much more than they were as they gain new sight.
And they have no problems with generating that fear. Old hag, indeed.
I have often wondered if, for some, it is but a test?