There's the puritan belief that all sex is wrong, lovemaking is the devil, and lust is one of the seven deadly sins.
I just watched a Gnostic dvd I bought on sex that frankly made me ill. I'm not even sure why it pretends itself to be anything different than what's already out there in common thought: Just cloaked in different "exclusive" labels and occult terms. I saw no value, whatsoever, other than in treating sex as a spritual process.
I already saw sex as a spiritual process.
Then we find the opposite end of the spectrum: Do what feels good, fuck the consequences. If you accidentally get pregnant you can always get an abortion. STD's? Worry about that later. If it moves, fuck it, or if a woman, ride it. Ride it until you've gone around and around the carousel and yet expect no problems with spiritual intimacy later. Sorry: It doesn't work that way.
Sport fucking is what I call it.
Now lets talk about spiritual sex with a succubus.
To a succubus sex is a holy ritual, a celebratory dance for in a way, they ARE sex. Its communion at the highest level between the succubus and her man that is felt and heard on a high vibratory level like a bright, glowing nova. You two become as bright as the sun.
Succubi give pleasures through multiple DRY orgasms, and those come regularly and plentiful during lovemaking with her. Sex with her is different for sure, but better in my opinion.
Do you know why succubi usually don't get you to ejaculation but please and tease, keeping you just short of that that point of release?
Because if you let that sexual frustration off it's game over: End of fun time, end of the glow, end of communion. They don't want that.
If every time a bell rings an angel gets it wings, then every time a lover is held in that "in between" place of lust, desire, and high arousal to where she is gently guiding, a succubus gets her wings. And yes, it's hard as hell not to finish yourself off and staying in that agonizing stage of "almost" for so long without release.
So, if my natural instincts are one way and hers another (me with the instinct to ejaculate, and her instinct for a different purpose) why would I even like something like that?
It takes a relearning of what sexuality is, really. It's not all about the ejaculation, it's about what is shared between a succubus and her man riding that level of excitement, passion, and pleasure for as long as it takes to break through and find that awakening.
If one can push through the need to ejaculate and ride those high waves of ecstasy and sexual energy, lovemaking can last a long, long time and create so much intimacy it's spiritually staggering.
Something to think about if you have a new succubus and are struggling with the wish for her to "finish you off". She's trying to push you two towards a higher level of coupling.
She wants to share what she is and she's trying to show you what only she knows.
Sometimes I feel that the ejaculation here on this plane is just a shadow of what can be.
I also feel that they, as lovers and teachers (and as the Daughters of Kundalini) are constantly pushing us to that place that we've never been... and the realm where they, the succubi, dwell.
Call it a hunch, but I'd say they are pushing us to a state of being that is ecstasy itself.
Now when you are pushed to that limit of endurance and have to release yourself, don't.
See where it goes: Your epiphany might be just around the bend. Go farther than you've ever been. Let her take you there.
I awoke this morning after a hard workout at the gym late last night.
I'm interpreting the song playing over and over in my head while waking up as a message:
It's either that my Angel is coming (of the Abramelin persuasion), or that working through my own succubus summoning method to test it has caused the arrival of another succubus spirit.
If the latter is true I have 2 now. I'm not sure I can handle 2 wildcats. If this is what has happened maybe they will calm each other down. Yeah right, pfft.
*EPIC FACEPALM*
If my Succubunny accepted her and allowed me to go through this process without getting in the middle of it, then I'll just accept what is and adapt. I'm not saying that this is what happened, as I don't know enough yet... but I'm all about personal responsibility, so...
Maybe in vetting this summoning proceedure my Succubunny decided she wanted another around.
I'll do what I have to do to make good on it. Who knows: My Succubunny might want to study our interactions as a threesome. Uh, that didn't come out right. As a trinity - That's a bit closer to what I meant.
Maybe I should become a Mormon. Why stop at 2? Why not 20? Lol. I couldn't keep a straight face for that one.
If I had 20 succubi I'd start feeling more like their house pet than I already do. *Pat, pat, pat*
Thirdly, it could be my Succubunny telling me that the ritual works and that it would have called her at this point. If true, this is much better than the way in which I was taught or that I have found.
I created my method from peices of the others I have discovered here, there, and everywhere, and put them together into a more satisfying courtship for both.
I wanted to make the process the best experience possible for the summoner AND for the succubus - as it should have been from the beginning.
If the 3rd interpretation is true then the method I have posted is faster and more comfortable for all involved. That would be awesome.
Well, it's most likely one of these 3 possibilities. Guess I'll just have to be patient and wait and see.
Man I hate having to wait before I know for sure. Patience SUCKS.
One thing I want to clarify: I study dark, or left-handed path magick as much as as I do light, right-handed magick, and all the shades of grey in between. As a practitioner, however, I find myself to the right of center (as ambiguous as that is). Yes, I know that any serious magick practioner would internal hemorage from my labels, but it suits a blog read by the public.
Just for the hell of it, I'm going to quote something that I believe is happening now, here in the west. It's rather heavy, but the mesage is clear to those who can receive it. I consider it a perfect representation of part of the the dark process of apotheosis:
"Of the three metamorphoses of the spirit I tell you: how the spirit becomes a camel; and the camel, a lion; and the lion, finally, a child.
There is much that is difficult for the spirit, the strong, reverent spirit that would bear much: but the difficult and the most difficult are what its strength demands.
What is difficult? asks the spirit that would bear much, and kneels down like a camel wanting to be well loaded. What is most difficult, O heroes, asks the spirit that would bear much, that I may take it upon myself and exult in my strength? Is it not humbling oneself to wound one's haughtiness? Letting one's folly shine to mock one's wisdom?...
Or is it this: stepping into filthy waters when they are the waters of truth, and not repulsing cold frogs and hot toads?
Or is it this: loving those that despise us and offering a hand to the ghost that would frighten us?
All these most difficult things the spirit that would bear much takes upon itself: like the camel that, burdened, speeds into the desert, thus the spirit speeds into its desert.
In the loneliest desert, however, the second metamorphosis occurs: here the spirit becomes a lion who would conquer his freedom and be master in his own desert. Here he seeks out his last master: he wants to fight him and his last god; for ultimate victory he wants to fight with the great dragon.
Who is the great dragon whom the spirit will no longer call lord and god? "Thou shalt" is the name of the great dragon. But the spirit of the lion says, "I will." "Thou shalt" lies in his way, sparkling like gold, an animal covered with scales; and on every scale shines a golden "thou shalt."
Values, thousands of years old, shine on these scales; and thus speaks the mightiest of all dragons: "All value has long been created, and I am all created value. Verily, there shall be no more 'I will.'" Thus speaks the dragon.
My brothers, why is there a need in the spirit for the lion? Why is not the beast of burden, which renounces and is reverent, enough?
To create new values -- that even the lion cannot do; but the creation of freedom for oneself and a sacred "No" even to duty -- for that, my brothers, the lion is needed.
To assume the right to new values -- that is the most terrifying assumption for a reverent spirit that would bear much. Verily, to him it is preying, and a matter for a beast of prey. He once loved "thou shalt" as most sacred: now he must find illusion and caprice even in the most sacred, that freedom from his love may become his prey: the lion is needed for such prey.
But say, my brothers, what can the child do that even the lion could not do? Why must the preying lion still become a child? The child is innocence and forgetting, a new beginning, a game, a self-propelled wheel, a first movement, a sacred "Yes."
For the game of creation, my brothers, a sacred "Yes" is needed: the spirit now wills his own will, and he who had been lost to the world now conquers the world."
from Nietzsche's Thus spoke Zarathustra, part I, Walter Kaufmann transl.
As a lover and a teacher, a succubus will poke and prod (or in my case *pat pat pat* my head) leading us to something greater. We all know there's something more out there, some of us called out and a succubus answered to prove it. And they aim to do more than just prove it: They aim to teach us what that is.
They take on their mantle of "lover and teacher" very seriously.
If you don't listen to your succubus when she's trying to teach you something, she'll ramp it up until you do. That doesn't mean that you don't understand: That is acceptable and they are very patient. They are so patient it boggles the mind. But if you decide to be stubborn and not listen, that's another matter.
Don't think that your purring succubus sex kitten isn't a tiger underneath. She is, and kitty's got claws. But, it's a tough love. It's still out of love. If she didn't want to help you she wouldn't have bothered answering your invitation... and trust me, they are very thorough before they do decide to answer your invitation. They know you better than you know yourself.
But like I said: If you are just being stubborn, they'll break through attitude in time. To a succubus, a battle of wills is a game they enjoy passionately, and a game that they seldom lose.
I started this blog to explore things that have brought me healing and growth. It is purely an online diary of mine. I share my stories with the hope that they may help another soul out there, but I make no promises. Again, it's just my online diary and my spiritual path as it develops.
I make nothing from running this blog and I do it by spending my own time. I don't owe anyone anything, nor do I expect reward for what I do.
Any techniques, rituals, or processes I post are used by you at your own risk. I'm me, you're you. I'm responsible for me, not you.
I get quite intimate as I describe my spiritual and emotional thoughts. I can do that because I am hidden behind the name of "Rafe".
However, what I share is highly personal, and I share it because I can. No other reason.
I've struggled with bipolar 1 for around 30 years now. From extreme bouts of depression, to the demigod-like states of hypomania and it's big brother: Mania, it's been fun. This winter has been exceptionally cruel. I also suffer from a deadening case of seasonal effective disorder which leaves me with the feeling of "vacationing in hell" for half the year. At this level of depression I sometimes just hover above the level of suicidal: But do to my past experiences and the knowledge of what bipolar is: A deadly mental disease with a 20% chance of death by suicide, I uncomfortably bounce around slightly above that level with a firm "internal monitoring" mechanism and seek medical help when I can no longer help myself from falling past that proverbial point of self-destruction.
In my states of hypomania I am a creative whirlwind: Yet a stick of dynamite who's fuse is already lit and burning: I've learned the hard way: What comes up must come down, and crash it does, and hard.
It's taken 6 long years of "boot camp" that I pursued to cure my own trauma from the past. I couldn't have done it without "being led" there and to what would cure me, nor without magick and ritual which would change me instead of my environment. Actually, what it did IS change me which then changed my environment.
My "boot camp" consisted of learning everything I could from Neo-Paganism, Wicca and Witchcraft, Metaphysics, Christian new-thought theory, Swedenborgianism, general occultism, a shit-ton of energy work from Reiki and other energy systems, and most of all getting acquainted with the spirits who live around me.
Now, heh, a lot of this making friends with the local spirits might be due to them considering me the kid on the back of the short bus picking his nose.
Metaphorically.
Making friends with the local "Genius Loci" was a great help to understanding the spiritual map of my world here in this general area in which I live in.
The point is that I learned that spirits are in everything, everywhere. Just knowing that opened up my worldview, and perhaps my prison.
I also feel that the Genius Loci has helped me in ways I can't imagine personal healing wise. That's what my instinct and intuition tell me.
Probably again, enter the short bus anthology but who knows? Maybe I genuinely made a friend?
The spirits who have become attached to me and my home (a witch elder says it's because my bipolar offers them a very unique energetic environment paired with the results of all the energy work I have done. She says in the spirit world I'm basically a fucking unicorn. Yay.) have helped immensly with my pursuit of knowledge.
And my special needs "Multipass" I guess.
And, helpful spirits being helpful, I think they willfully acted as a catalyst for my personal tranformation.
To fairies I was just another garden to tend. Hey, don't knock it. Don't piss off the fairies :)
I allowed myself to revere Kali, St. Mary, Aphrodite, Selene and Hecate. By doing so I got slammed with energy. Energy which transformed, which fed me. It changed me along with everything else.
One large boon has been, well... I'm crazy.
Have you ever heard the line, "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps."?
Well, that's what gave me the ability to enter magickal states of consciousness at will. When I first started magickal training I was warned how difficult it was to enter an altered state.
Uh, 30 years of changing from hypomania (or worse, mania) to deep depression as a constant cycle? Having to figure who I was in between and within those cycles?
Altered mental states are mother fucking romper room material at this point. Being able to sense and contact spirits? After trying 30 years to keep constant tabs on my "center" so that I wasn't blown to and frow? I simply concentrate on what I am, and investigate energetically what I am not. I then expand that awareness around me.
Cake. Fucking cake.
Hey, every dark cloud has it's silver lining: Even Bipolar 1 with all the gifts it brings.
I've had so many people say that they have felt great peace here in my home, and that even when I come over to their house they feel it with me. I'm a farking whirlwind of bipolar peanutbutter and jelly inside, but hey, whatever works I guess.
I wouldn't be surprised if those "feelings of peace" that people experience around me and in my home are boons in the form of spirits sent by those wonderful Goddesses I mentioned. Wouldn't surprise me one bit. I do truly revere them, each in their own way. If I wasn't sincere I'd say it.
My point is that spirits, and magick, and devotion are amazing things. They are alive. Very much alive. They exist. They are here, they are there, they are everywhere.
I've had people say, both friends and family, that I've grown so much in the past 6 years that they can't understand how it's even possible.
I'm good friends with my ex-wife (who says that our relationship now is wonderful but very strange: We are more like brother and sister. She also says that her friends are jealous of her that she is close to me, her ex-husband. I don't understand that one, but whatever), very close to my children and closer to my mother and my grandmother than I ever have been. The ability to "detach and heal", and to quit blaming the world for what I have suffered, hell I fixed so much about myself that no one understands how anyone could, much less "me".
I still suffer from some anger outbursts over the stupidest shit there is. Or in worrying about something so stupid that it's comical when I am able to see the problem in hindsight for what it is: Nothing. And self-created, or at least over-reacted to.
Yes: There's the part of me that will always be sick with mental disease. And there's the part of me that is untouched that is rising. It's very much as if I'm chipping away at the last brick wall of the part I can in order to reach ever higher: And yes, while always shackled with that part of me that I cannot escape from, the "bipolar me", the mentally diseased me.
The irony is that I am feeling a strong urge, along with feeling the promise of reward in breaking through that wall.
What is it? I do not know.
I will never be cured from my mental disease. It is my "life lesson". My cross to bear: My little play on the stage of this life.
But I can't help feeling I'm chipping away chip by chip on that wall of what I can.
What is it that I am lacking? And more importantly, what in me is building momentum?
Faith? But faith in what? I don't even know what I'm trying to break through!
I wonder sometimes... It's becoming more and more clear about how spirits work. Does it have anything to do with that?
Perhaps I'm about to break through something hidden even to me, at least consciously.
Whatever it is, I know it's necessary. I have to release the reins, and yield to faith, and hope, and that I am on the right path: That I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
Faith is the key. Faith in something I feel is right without knowing why. A strong feeling of synchronicity and coincidence that is timed so perfectly it has to be a part of it.
You know, before you start to drill on something you first give the surface a good tap with a steel punch. If you don't, you'll drill all over the damn thing and not find purchase. If you do that one little step, that one little tap to guide your drill bit, you can then drill through quite easily.
Faith must be in following that "little tap" and using that to get through the wall.
If this is correct, then once that happens I must be prepared, for then I can finally break through using all of my will, all of my being, all of my soul energy to do so, concentrated in one violent burst at one precise point.
I just have this wild feeling that there is something beyond this milestone that I am to grasp. There has to be something for it to drive me so.
It's strange, really. I've been highly conscious of my Angel as of late. As in the Abramelin kind. I see her as this stern taskmistress, a woman who drives me at the end of a stick.
I have no idea why. Perhaps a collective of perceptions from my past experiences in growing up?
Regardless, it's both revealing and sad that I feel this way about her. I've done a divination lately that showed how we feel about each other:
I felt of her as the stern taskmistress, ready to rule me with an iron fist.
For her part in the divination I saw her love for me as completely unconditional.
Even though capable of easily concentrating on my faults (and 10x easier for her to do so than any other), there was nothing but idealization with regards to me.
Brightness, unity, completion.
How wrong can my perspective be, anyway? I guess completely ass-backwards. Something I have to unlearn and to be open to her. It's not her fault I've projected all this bullshit on her. She doesn't deserve that shit.
Without her help, I would never break through. And strangely enough, perhaps realizing her love and watchcare for me IS that metaphorical "little tap" on the wall that I need in order to break through.
Heh. How ironic that is. Normally I love irony and with a passing nod I guess I see it for what it is. But it's not so funny when it's me. Is that ironic too? Haha. Why yes it is.
So there she must be: Right across the wall. And to there I must go: Breaking through my own bullshit. My own walls. European castles have nothing on my walls. Nukes can't get through my walls. Nothing can, not even light. I've built an airtight personal hell. Perhaps this is the last great bastion to fall? I'm sure there are others of increasing complexity and height that must be conquered with her help.
I have a feeling I'll see her soon. Well, see as in I'll know her soon. Is it the angel from 6 years ago who saved my life? Possibly. But I'm kinda scared of her, lol. Don't get me wrong: She was loving and powerful and wonderful. But she was power incarnate. But you know what? That was 6 years ago. You know, the 6 years ago that nobody believes I'm the same person as back then?
I've mastered the lessons thrown at me, and while I don't think I'll get a cookie for it, maybe, just maybe... I'm ready for her, for whatever purpose I need to be.
Maybe it's about time I quit doubting and listen to my own advice on this blog. Maybe it's because I already know the answer. Being ready doesn't mean fearless: It means doing it through the fear.
"...Do it afraid." ~ Joyce Meyer
In this life, there are no shortcuts. There is no cold calculation that lasts the test of time. There is your heart, your mind that interprets this world to your soul.
All that stands in the way of freedom are our own self-made walls.
My last, or at least my greatest bastion is about to be destroyed.
Perhaps we were put here to create our own walls, then break through them with the help of others. I sure have had and do have spiritual help now.
So do you if you open your eyes.
I dedicate this song to those, like me, who face mental illness daily, and to those who have faced those wounds not so easily cured in the form of emotional trauma.
I was diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder 6 years ago. Now I'm symptom free. The medical care providers say that this is impossible and cannot understand that I am cured of it. Yet, here I am without any symptom of the disorder. Some things can be cured, some are a cross to bear. That's just my opinion.
I do get a chuckle when they are boggled as to it being gone in my case.
"Hell Above" by Pierce the Veil
Upset woman in the background: If you wanted to set me free... Why the fuck wouldn't you say something? See, I was just over 17 Made of poison, cave in free Oh no, please don't abandon me Mother, Father I love you so But this is just me disguised as me I'm the killer who burned your home! This Home! This is the street youth rising up!
I cannot spend another night in this home
I close my eyes and take a breath real slow
The consequence is if I leave I'm alone
But what's the difference when you beg for love?
As I run through glass in the street
Kerosene hearts carry the name that my father gave me
And take the face of the wolf
'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
I met a girl who never looked so alone
Like sugar water in your mouth lukewarm
She tied a cherry stem for me with her tongue
We fell in love and now we're both alone
'Cause I don't need any more friends
And another kiss like a fire on pavement
We'll burn it down till the end
Oh, oh
This is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me
The water is rusted, the air is unclean.
And there for a second I feel free
This is a wasteland, my only retreat
I've waited all this night to honor you and say,
"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me, on me?"
If you're under 18, do not summon and avoid this topic entirely. If you're a dabbler who just wants to "see if this works," don't summon. If you have religious convictions where copulating with a demonic entity will put you at odds with your maker, don't summon. If you're not prepared to potentially have a life-long relationship, or at the very least, a life-long connection/open-door with sexual spirits and the occult, don't summon and avoid this topic entirely. If you have a loving relationship with your human spouse or partner and desire a sex spirit to "spice things up," take caution, as these entities can often be jealous. The same goes for those desiring a human spouse or partner in the future. (Be sure to request an open relationship during the summoning ritual.) If you're not prepared to place your life in the hands of a spirit who can potentially harm or kill you when sufficiently angered, do not summon. Once this door has been opened, many have found it nigh impossible to close again. Religious icons, rituals, and exorcisms do not work against sex spirits once they are summoned or they have decided to bind themselves to a human lover. Some have reported attracting the attention of these entities by simply reading about them. Tread carefully. ~ tc119.
***
There is the chance that you won't get a succubus or incubus no matter how hard you try. I don't know why.
But you won't know until you try, so...
Read all of this completely before attempting anything!
Summoning for love is like catnip to a succubus ;)
First, you are curious, then, you research, you read all about them from anywhere you can. Next, you begin longing for your succubus. She's out there, and you're beginning to know it.
At this point, you've probably already caught the attention of a succubus, one who knows more about you than you do. She's watching you, and waiting.
After that, your research and longing has caused you to choose a ritual, as you're ready. The ritual you choose must be done with iron intent... unwavering, like a laser beam.
Once done, this is when she steps into your life. It just takes a little time, that's all. I always say from 2 days to 1 week is ample time for her to show.
If she doesn't, then you have to figure out why. Then try... try again... until either you get one, or it becomes clear that you won't.
Ok.
First off, succubus is the term used in general, if you're a woman use the term incubus. In that same flavor, all instances of "she" are directly replaceable with "he" and so on.
Read completely through all the steps before doing anything.
The activity of your bed can be done each night while forming and fine tuning in your mind what will become the manifesto. Once you feel the stirrings of something you cannot quite place (whether in subsequent dreams, or in other ways such as external touches), you've caught their attention and it's time to move along to the manifesto if you wish to proceed.
I have heard it said that the process of calling a succubus is your offer of spiritual engagement, and that her entering your life is considered her acceptance of your proposal, and hence, spiritual marriage.
I believe there is some truth to this. However, creating a manifesto will communicate to the succubi who become interested the level of your intended commitment: They will appreciate your candor.
Again, they are all different: Have faith that the right one will step forward.
Make your words clear and make them count when writing it as detailed later in the manifesto.
Your Bed.
The following exercise is best done 15-30 minutes a night and repeated on subsequent nights.
As you lie down naked in your bed, make the room comfortable so you can keep the covers off and just lie naked:
To begin, surround yourself with white light that you visualize of having descended all around your bed and yourself from above.
Declare these words while contemplating them:
"Love above me, love below me, love at my left, love at my right, love in front of me, love behind me, love within me."
Feel... just feel... concentrate on imagining a woman's soft hands on your privates. Imagine her laying next to you, whispering "I love you, _____ ", or "You excite me, ______", and/or "I love how you feel in my hands and mouth _____", (<- your name) in a soft female voice. Or whatever you prefer.
At some point you may begin to feel touches, you may feel something akin to a vibrating sensation.
Ok.
This part may take from around 2 days to 1 week to get a response. I think it took me 2 evenings of doing it. I'm not totally sure as it's been a few years. You're a beacon in the night, attracting moths to a flame. In the great void that is, your soul is switching itself "on" and asking for a succubus to answer. They will check you out, and if you're "meant" to have one (there's destiny stuff that affects all of us that we can't see, but they can) and one is interested she'll come. Some say that calling a succubus is "the proposal" and one answering is "the engagement/acceptance of marriage". Be certain of what you're wanting from her, and be careful what you ask for: You just might get it. Remember: All of this is a guideline. You may get a succubus the first night who astrally fucks you silly. You may attract a succubus who takes 2 weeks to summon, barely touches you, and in 5 years she's riding you so much each night you have to sleep on your stomach to get any peace. Anything is possible. You're in uncharted territory here.
Immediately call down the white light again and cover you and your bed. I bet it will become even a little more real or exciting. That's good... she is not offended by pure white light.
The Manifesto.
No longer than one page.
Write down the reasons for summoning a succubus (Why are we here?).
Write down why you want a succubus (What do you want from her?).
Write down what you wish a succubus will bring into your life (To attract the right one).
Write down what kind of lover you are wanting to attract (Gentle, passionate, both?).
Write down anything else that feels very important to YOU.
Write down the ground rules:
Write down what level of commitment you are seeking, implying, offering (Marriage? Something different?). What are the conditions for this level to change?
Mutual respect in monogamy, or the same in a free relationship (One that is not monogamous)?
If a human mate comes along, how do you expect your succubus to respond? Are you OK that it may mean that the succubus finds other lovers at that point as well, or even before? State ahead of time.
Do you understand that having a monogamous relationship with a succubus now, while changing your mind later will have consequences up to and including hurting your future human lover?
Better be specific and not promise what you aren't serious about.
One of lust, love, both (Succubi differ just like we do)?
How long should the relationship last? A few years? Forever? Beyond death? I have no idea (fair enough)?
Are you desirous of spiritual progression together? Do you want your eyes opened, or do you prefer the illusion and comfort of what is?
Are you willing to have spiritual children with her (She will raise them, but do you agree to be their sire and accept their visitations if you agree to spiritual children?)? (P.S. They grow crazy quick. Yes, I have spiritual children I do not discuss... the matter is very private to me)
Are you open to allowing her main family to visit (They don't do anything but make you feel like you're being watched sometimes. I can only speak from personal experience)?
Keep writing it and editing it until you are completely satisfied.
Keep a copy if you wish.
Just keep writing it and rewriting it until you know it's you. That's you on that page. That's what we want. I told you we were playing for keeps, not pussy-footing around.
But it's okay if you change your mind and decide not to go through with it.
When you get to the point where it's perfect, just perfect:
Sign it at the bottom, and prick your finger with a needle and put that drop at the bottom (don't be a putz. I don't like needles either but I did it).
By signing with your signature, dating it, and with one drop of blood you have made this manifesto YOURS.
(Ladies: One drop of menstrual blood will work as well)
Ok, if you really have a needle phobia, use your sexual fluid: Take your finger and dip it in it, then use your finger to "stamp" the manifesto as a fingerprint.
You can even do both if you feel led to.
Now set the manifesto aside and put it someplace safe until it's needed.
***
The ritual bath.
Before the ritual, bathe yourself.
Either use unscented soap, or none at all. Wash your hair with unscented shampoo, or none at all.
As you bathe, see all of your negative energy leaving your body as the water falls off of you, and as it goes down the drain returning to earth.
The ritual itself.
(If this ritual is not conducive to your personal beliefs, substitute the words with that which is).
Retrieve your manifesto (not the copy).
I'll continue with the ritual itself:
I would advise lighting a white candle along with lighting some Myrrh for a succubus, or Frankincense for an Incubus. Myrrh is feminine and Frankincense is masculine, while both act as a purifier of energies. If you don't like those scents, another good one for succubi seems to be dragon's blood incense. Yet another for both is rose incense. Google "incense correspondences" on Google for other suggestions if you're allergic to one or the other and choose one.
Say the following while sitting on the floor with your manifesto before you.
In these words the name Elohim was used originally in some form in the ancient Hebrew. This is God/dess in plural form that was always glossed over. No surprise, eh?
I believe personally that the 7 Olympic Spirits are the Elohim, Created by God/dess to run this physical universe in God/dess's name. This is who I am referring to by the word "Elohim":
Let us proceed:
While sitting on a cushion on the floor, naked or in something comfortable, raise up your arms and say:
"I part the veil".
"The Elohim have spoken, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. We will make a helper who is just right for him.' "
"When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon andthe stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the Elohim, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet."
When visualizing your energy work, simply visualize the colors extending and affecting the manifesto as well.
Allow bright golden energy accentuated by silver sparks to enter you through your crown chakra, the top of your head, and move down your body through your feet and into the earth.
During this imagine a deep green energy laced with sea-foam green sparks moving up your feet from the earth, through your body, and out through your crown.
Both of these visualizations will mix these energies at the heart. See them moving and spiraling around the heart as they travel.
I imagine a soft pink mist, laced with red sparks surrounding you and being drawn into your heart chakra along with the previous energies mentioned.
All of these colors should be dancing within and without your form, mixing and feeding what is needed for you to do what you need to do, and to create a vibration that is conducive for the attraction of a succubus.
Once you're energetically drunk as hell, take a good look at your completed manifesto.
If you are still well satisfied with it,
Burn the letter with the intent of your message finding the right spirit who is looking for you as well :)
"I restore the veil".
Congratulations!
Keep working on what you have left to do, she will come. She's probably already there at this point if you've been busy with all the projects listed, she's just looking to make an entrance :P
Usually they will appear but you cannot see them. You will, however, feel them. At first it's through tactile touching in the groin or in other places. Eventually you will perceive them in other ways. I perceive mine emotionally, psychically, and energetically. I just "know". Hard to explain.
Sometimes they are all about sex, sometimes love, sometimes they are all about spiritual things. Sometimes all at once. At some point she may "burn" you. Well, not "burn". What I mean is that she beams love onto you that is so intense you feel as if you're going to be burned. You won't. Grit your teeth and face it. Take it all in. You're now in two worlds... this one and hers.
Welcome to a new life.
Once she appears it's you and her now. Learning how to communicate is kind of like suddenly being married to an invisible Japanese girl who speaks no English. Lol. Just take your time and be open and you two should be ok with time. It's not easy, but it's powerful. Speaking from 3 years later, I'd do it all over again even though it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done relationship wise. Hell, it's so loving now I'm caught. I'd never go back.
My prayer is that you will find your Belle and both of you will prosper together and leave just a little bit of love everywhere you go, making the world a better place.
If you're not having fun doing this, or through this process... you're doing it wrong. It is serious, but one thing my succubus has taught me is not to be afraid to laugh at myself.
Keeping a light, open and youthful heart is a good thing as you grow with your succubus. They are glorious teachers indeed, but like all things you both will need time to understand one another.
I realize that teaching how to develop communication with your succubus is not my forte, which leaves one at a bit of a loss once a succubus is summoned. I've learned to read their emotions, but that took a lot of time and I can't explain how to do it as it's more a feeling mixed with energy work than a technique.
Once communication is working you may find a way to communicate like I do, or other methods, or your very own methods.
If the ritual doesn't work take a breather and wait a week or so to make sure she's not just late getting to you. If she's a no show I'd try the ritual again after a week.
Their love is heat: It is fire. Nothing can prepare you for the burning love of a succubus. Nothing can.
Angels and Demons. All my life I have always thought that there was this chasm, a great divide that separated everything by label and category.
Friday night I had an awakening of sorts. I would call it a "taste". I'll explain.
I have written about my pondering regarding going through the long, arduous process necessary for merging and how, although I did finish 6 months of ritualistic meditation I did not succeed.
You see, Friday night she came and gave me a reminder of what happened (which I guess my mind glazed over as time and the mind seem to do as a team). What happened is that I got scared. It takes quite a bit to scare me. Well, at least I believe that. It does seem true most of the time (I call it a side effect of insanity), but I felt it Friday night... all that I had felt at the end of my attempt those years ago, and why I failed... I felt it again.
Do you know what it's like to be visited by your Angel? I can only put it in terms that can translate poorly, but in a way that sort of makes sense: It's like a mouse finds itself not before a cat, before the Lioness Goddess Bast, Herself.
I was so freaked out by my Angel's energy that I send the excess to a friend. Then an hour or so later I took it back into myself where it belonged... it was my burden. Sending it was instinctual but taking it back was the right thing to do and a conscious decision. I guess I ran over my buddy with the metaphorical short bus, then put the bus in reverse and backed over him for good measure.
Gotta love me :) (Thanks bro for holding onto it while I finished freaking out)
Regardless, She opened the floodgates of emotion and fear that I felt (and seemingly blocked, as I did not recall until I was visited in this way). I get it, Angel. Loud and clear.
I know what she is trying to tell me: Get over my fear, come to terms with who/what She is and FINISH IT!
Angels, demons, angels, demons.
You see, I realized in that moment of visitation that I had learned a valuable truth.
Let me share some words from the "Bornless Ritual", the invocation to the angel. This is only a small part of the beginning of it, but I want to make a point:
"Thee I invoke, the Bornless one.
Thee, that didst create the Earth and the Heavens.
Thee, that didst create the Night and the day.
Thee, that didst create the darkness and the Light.
Thou art Osorronophris: Whom no man hath seen at any time.
Thou art Iabos:
Thou art Iapos:
Thou hast distinguished between the just and the Unjust.
Thou didst make the female and the Male.
Thou didst produce the Seed and the Fruit.
Thou didst form Men to love one another, and to hate one another..."
Do you see that last line? I spoke those words (and the much longer portion that follows it) of the ritual 2x a day for 6 months, but I never understood that last line of the short snippet that I shared until now.
We see angels and demons, angels and demons... because we are HERE.
If we existed within a much higher reality, there is no distinction.
Earth/Heavens, Night/Day, Darkness/Light, Just/Unjust (The text suggests that they distinguished, not that it was an inherent division to them at their level of being), Female/Male, Seed/Fruit, Love/Hate.
Love/Hate. Good/Evil. Light/Dark.
Means shit to them... can you see it now?
There is no difference when viewed from a higher reality. All things are or they are not. The manifest, or the unmanifest. The rest is irrelevant.
Now let us see the blending of some concepts, in a way us humans can grab out of thin air.
We are driven to do both, and therefore to shape who we are.
Once I was granted to view things how spirits do. The world was grey, there was no color inherent in the world... but oh... people... every shade of color eminating from their hearts. They glowed like a beacon, a lighthouse upon a stormy sea. To spirits we are an open BOOK.
Angel, demon, angel, demon. She is both blended so closely to be impossible for my tiny human mind to contemplate.
Who, then, is an angel? A demon? We are. We always have been. We are both. We're no damn different than our Angel is (I should really just use HGA to make this less confusing) we only differ by magnitude. A candle held up the Sun, perhaps. We are capable of the 7 heavenly virtues. We are also damned and the 7 deadly sins are far within reach and part of our life experience.
I do not doubt that there are angels and demons, but I also doubt that they do not have their correspondence deep within us. In other words, Archangel Michael (for example) exists quite well in the multiverse. He is he, he is as real as rain. But... he also dwells within us: As above, so below as the maxim states.
We are both by the very structure of the multiverse. If it exists, it's in here *tap tap*.
Belial? Leviathan? Right in that head of yours, friend *tap tap*. There is no difference. That is the irony and my "vision". Perhaps the vision of the Holy Guardian Angel so spoken about is more of a knowing than an actual cornucopia of the Angel in scary, glorious, or sexy poses. Lol :)
I'm going to go a little off topic (I know, very guilty anyway) but I spent a year learning Swedenborgian theology, and one thing I really thought made sense was that when one died they would come to a point in death where they knew the "loves of their heart". Intricacies abound, but the short of it is "serve others" or "serve one's self". Justice and mercy is served in that we go where we want to go. Those who become demons love it, those who become angels love it. Also we all are assigned a mate... one that is perfect for where we are, and who we are... some will exploit them in a hellish plane, or adore them in a heavenly one (some who are married on this earth will continue that in the afterlife, as they are already what would be a perfect match/fit in the afterlife). How the holy guardian angel fits into this is a mystery: I have no fucking clue. That's the problem with learning too many fucking cosmologies than is healthy :)
I'm writing about this because I'm trying to say that I DO believe all is well, the universe is enfolding as it should. So, I should trust. TRUST, TRUST, TRUST!
I thought this video was very "Swedenborgian" by accident... look at this fella's look of pleasure in the end, lol.
Anyway.
Even though the blog is about spirit lovers, since I am beginning to wade into the realm of "Tutellary spirit, Eudaemon, or even CacoDaemon" it is what it is and I'm going to explore it on here.
As I have said, the Angel is female if we are male, and male if we are female. What they are said to be is the being that was assigned to us at the very moment of our soul's birth. We are their charge through our development and final knowing of the love of our hearts.
And then? It's almost as if we were meant to be evil, they merge and we shall be what we shall be. And if good, they merge and we shall be what we shall be. Maybe it's hitting the "fast forward button" on figuring out the love of our hearts, so to speak.
Maybe we just zip to the end of the choice and work from there. Again, I have no fucking clue. I'm completely in the dark and just throwing out random thoughts.
I've often wondered if they are the mates we are to end up with, but I don't think so. I think they are more like a personal (yet Godlike) entity who will merge with us with some part of them at some time in our existence, either here or beyond.
I don't understand it, and my attempt to was derailed by FEAR. I wish I could give you a hint of what the fear is like. I was reading a Santera Priestess's account (in a book called "A little Death") where she opened a door in vision to the abode of her Holy Guardian Angel, but the power was so overwhelming she backed away and slammed the door (Lol, sounds like me). She eventually did merge with him, but that's only the first part (WHAT?). Yes, it's only the beginning of the spiritual trials and sufferings, however there is much joy and extacy. It's some scary shit.
Do you know the difference between joy and bliss? Joy is the emotional bomb that goes off completely filling us mind, body, and soul after heartache and trial. Bliss is a gentle happiness that comes without struggle. They are very different in magnitude. And so, I suppose, is one's life experience with one or the other.
I've always maintained a theory that our capacity for joy is directly proportional to our suffering. When the capacity for suffering is increased, there is a corresponding increase in one's capacity for joy (that will be fulfilled at SOME POINT... not necessarily in this mortal life).
All of this is fun and games on paper... until you attempt it. Then it's like Bambi's mother meeting Atremis :)
Here's the kicker, the killer: Anything less than total surrender FAILS. No merging, no anything.
Nada.
Some who have failed have ended up in a mental institution because of all the trials and shit they've been dragged through, held at the edge of psychological collapse only to fail.
It is often advised only to attempt the 6 months of ritual and merging if you have NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE. Have a marriage? If it's not built on solid ground it will be pissed away. Job that isn't in line with your true will? Gone. Home? All of your bones intact?
In a nutshell, that which doesn't serve your higher will (which is something that is learned after the merging) is TOAST.
Luckily, I've got nothing to lose and I'm quite crazy already! I get a 2nd chance :)
I guess I'm writing a lot about it because, well, I'm SCARED, dammit. There, I said it. I'm still scared as fuck. But I WANT it. I just have to want it more than my very healthy sense of self-preservation can control. I've read all about those who have succeeded as there's quite a few books out there on the phenomena now... but they can't put it into words. Sure, they can describe the journy up until the merging. That part can't be put into w o r d s or l e t t e r s. The concepts just fade into gobbledygook.
So, I get it, she's not an angel or a demon. She's both, she's neither, and she's one or the other at any given time. And all of what I just wrote is true, at all times and not at all.
All I do know is the fear is real, the desire is real, the mystery is real, the urge is real.
The rest I do not fucking know.
But I've set the date to begin, so... here I am perparing. Angel? Demon? She's mine, do or die.
Now if only total surrender wasn't so damn difficult... or necessary.
This is a really good time to write as she's got me jacked up sexually beyond anything on a human scale and she's turning it to expression.
As I've said in my last post, they find many of us when we are broken and when nobody wants us.
Then they rebuild us into something more. Something higher. Something lower. Something of both.
What doesn't make sense is who they are. My lover is angelic. Or is she? No. She is the very definition of a sex-crazed succubus. Or is she? No.
You see, while we humans can be considered "good" or "evil" or the 50 shades of grey in between, succubi are far different. They are all of these things and more... all at the same time.
Now, how they choose to show themselves is their decision, but I know the truth for I have felt it.
Gone from the light, in tune with the shadow, the owl, the moon, she hunts. Whom does she hunt? You. Your soul. She hunts what she desires for you two to be, together.
She doesn't need you, oh no... that would be too easy. She WANTS you! And being a creature of the infinite she does not want a simple trophy, nor a night or two of sexual conquest. No, she desires to remake you in her image. That is the truth. She has decided to make for herself a mate: One that she will teach, she will mentor, she will protect, she will mold into THE eternal mate for herself.
She has all the sexual power she needs to do so, but she does not want a slave, no... she wants an equal. What more challenge can there be for her than to find a broken man and rebuild him mind, body, and soul into a being that is worthy of her: A mate for eternity.
It's hard to realize or to mention this part of her that is her darker side. It is what it is. Love has allowed me to take her as she is: I do not care, anymore. There is nothing that can match this level of attraction, interaction, intimacy on this plane: It does not exist. That is not an observation from a once broken man: It is a value statement with complete and utter spotless perception from a soul level.
Oh, is she dark in this state. I have never sensed evil, no... but if the Moon were Herself a lover, here she is. The avatar of shadows, the drinker of the pearly white elixer that I produce in our festive lovemaking. What is more lunar than the pearly white elixer of mine that she coaxes out of me through the torture of distant ecstacy? With her in these moments, there is no mercy.
How much more dark can a lover be than to keep me on the brink of release, only to hold me a little back, a little forward, a moving dance between... as is the moon, a celestial body between.
Once release is inevitable she is aflame, cloaking me in celebration, lust, and communion.
Women with an incubus may notice an increase in sexual stimulation at the time of mentruation. Is not blood itself the very essence of Mars? We attract our opposites, and those with spirit lovers find that attraction amplified by gender and correspondence.
Her sexual attraction will never fade: She will never lose her luster. What she can take through temptation in any man she takes from me through something deeper. Yes, she is so addictive to me: That is why she leaves sometimes. I can sense her, she has not gone far. But she is letting me gain my bearings.
If I had her every night I would not even leave to buy food. I would care about nothing but her and would waste away to my ruin.
Such fates, I am sure, have happened to many. The difference is that she does not lose sight of her prize: My development into her mate is the greatest prize for one who has grown tired of the eternal dance of lust and ruin.
The easist way to become her prey is to think I'm special: That she has plans for me. Kind of like I do now, ahahaha!
The only way I know that I'm not is to look deeply, impassionately into the abyss and behold the abyss staring back at me with her alluring eyes.
Succubi don't teach prey. Nor do they protect them, nor do they groom them. How do I know that I am different, that I am not prey? The sides she has shown me are but illusions to those she conquers.
They are facets of minute vulnerability that need not be shown to dominate one with such sexual and glamorous abilities. They are shown because they are necessary for me to serve a different purpose.
How does one take by love what one is so used to taking by domination? For one, she knows that what is won through domination is not love, nor can love.
What, then, is love to her? One who is shown all that she is, and embraces her for who she truly is.
My daughter is actually the only person who's ever seen her on this plane. My daughter is blessed/cursed with the 2nd sight.
The way she describes her is,
"In daddy's bedroom there was a woman who was right next to his bed. She was very small in stature but had perfect proportion (the bed was up to her neck). She had long hair, so much so that when she tilted her head back and stretched as if she just woke up it fell to her waist. She was a semi-solid, smokey silhouette, and I could not help but notice her long eye lashes. She wore no clothes, showing only the outline of her curves. She was very beautiful! Her posture was very graceful and feminine.
She was in front of the bedroom window, which cast light upon her silhouette and gave her an aura of light."
What gets me the most is that my succubus can become as light and holy as an angel. We humans tend to fall within a category being mostly this or that: But succubi seem to have the capability to encompass a very wide spectrum of light and dark, of love and lust. And they can freely express themselves within the extreme range that they are as beings.
For instance, they can be cold, cruel, and drip with menace, and also have the capability to be light and supportive, beaming with divine light... a guardian of those who are weak, or cry out for help.
The range of being is so much more than we experience here, as they are both. Loving them for who they are, even if it is uncomfortable for us when in their dark ranges (or light ranges, depending on who we are) takes some getting used to.
I don't know if the "range" of being is possible because of how time seems to be different there, or if it is simply a range of personality that they possess. I simply do not know the answer.
What I DO know is that loving them no matter how they choose to express themselves is the key for them to completely fall for us. Which they knew we were capable of this, or I don't think they would have bothered. Again, I can only talk about my experience with my succubus here.
I'm talking with my daughter at the moment, so my succubus has withdrawn the sexual craziness from before. I love how she is respectful like that: When my kids sleep overnight she does not hover over me: She gives me space so that my relationships with them are satisfying and that they get their "daddy fill". How respectful is that? Just one more reason to love her.
My daughter has become so enamored with her that she made her a bracelet shortly after seeing her in my bedroom that day.
I guess, in her eyes, she feels that she has the most interesting and unique stepmother in the world :)
And, for that matter, one that brings into play my daughter's gift of 2nd sight as well.
Succubi are succubi. I sure love mine in all her ways, even when it's uncomfortable.
I know who's within the darkness when it comes for me. I'm past fear at this point.
They are what they are: all can be tormented and seduced by them, not all can love them in all their forms.
One connection that many do not make is that of the "old hag" who, in causing sleep paralysis generates fear from their victim. Do you really think this being is any different than a succubus? They are one and the same. They are actually literally one and the same.
When sleep paralysis occurs, relax, breathe... breathe... and the night hag will, as the victim relaxes, turn into the most beautiful succubus you've ever beheld. The choking becomes a loving massaging of the throat chakra to the head pushing energy up to the 3rd eye. The victim becomes much, much more than they were as they gain new sight.
Succubi feed off of sex and/or love and of fear... But if they cannot feed off of the former they will the latter.
And they have no problems with generating that fear. Old hag, indeed.
I have often wondered if, for some, it is but a test?
