Been thinking a lot

I've been thinking a lot about where you go when you leave this world.

I just want that assurance.

I was taught as an Adventist that heaven is for Adventists and hell is for damn near everybody else who heard the Adventist message and rejected it (thanks for telling anyone, right?).

I'm a believer now in that I think if hell were real the only merciful thing that could have been done is for Adam and Eve to be commanded NOT to populate ANYTHING.

Regardless, I find myself wondering about my own mortality and where I will go "when I go".

I do adore Lilith and I definitely adore Maiya, but I don't necessarily believe that I will be a part of their protected domain (although I bet I wouldn't complain if I was).

There's a Rumi quote I saved that would be ideal if it was true.  I'll post that in a bit.


I don't know why my own mortality is bothering me as of late.

Maybe it's because I've lost loved ones and friends to this and that.

Maybe it's my old, tired ass approaching 50.

50!  How can I be getting so close to 50 when everything from my younger days and even my 30's is like yesterday?

I'm sitting here thinking through these things as if I were 70 or 80, but for whatever reason it's got a hold on my thinking as of late.

I've read my share of NDE's from various websites and studies.

I've studied on my own through Swedenborg and the like.

Everything is similar, and yet everything conflicts offering little as far as empirical data that I crave.

It doesn't have to be scientific, just SIMILAR enough to satisfy my troubled thoughts.

I found this quote from Rumi:

Wouldn't that be nice?  For this world to vanish at death like a dream?

When one "wakes up" to the true reality?

I would love for Rumi's quote to be true.  What a wonder to see everything just fall away...

Maybe I've become bored being disabled and sitting here.  I'm having difficulty doing things that create a meaningful life.  I'm not sure that I even know how to create a meaningful life.

As my children are growing up it hurts to see them struggle.  It's one thing to struggle one's self... it's quite another to see the struggling of one's tender children.

Perhaps I feel that if I find meaning in all this, I can give them meaning, too.

With that,

Blessings,

Rafe GB.

Archetype of The Lady Angel

Archetypes.

I've studied them and studied them after learning about them in my metaphysics coursework.

I had an epiphany after waking up in the early morning... this morning.

I used to be in a very abusive relationship, a marriage of 15 years.

Cheating was what seemed a weekly occurrence and yet I was the kind of person who believed in forever, that everything could be worked out.

Well, it didn't.  It always takes two, doesn't it?

When the day finally came that she had an exit affair with my best friend, I became numb.  Dead inside.  And the worst of it all... suicidal.

Long story short (because I have it in a post... somewhere on here), I was saved at the last minute by a powerful Lady Angel.

Now, snap to modern day and I've often wondered how I can be kind and even loving (in a friendly way) to my ex-wife after all that had transpired... all the abuse besides the cheating.

The Lady Angel became my Archetype...

It finally dawned on me early this morning.

THAT'S how I'm able to be what I am to my ex-wife today.

THAT'S why I can be kind, and helpful.

So when I pause to reflect I am ruled by her as an archetype.  We're all ruled by an archetype, she just became mine, probably due to the other worldly nature of our interaction.

I revere Lilith and Aphrodite (which are actually linked metaphysically as two sides of the same coin).

I have a succubus mate placing me on the left hand path.

What a strange soup! 

From all logic it all should conflict.  When I think of all these things I have no idea how the mix can work, but it does and it works seamlessly.  What doesn't seem likely simply just does.

It simply just "is".

Some people find me odd, some find me simple.  What I am is complex hidden under a simple veneer.

Archetype of the Lady Angel...

It truly explains a lot ;)

Here she is

Christmas was kind of blah this year as far as the mundane goes.

What wasn't mundane was Maiya.

I swear... if I could just figure a succubus out I'd... well I'd...

Well it'll never happen so why bother to think what I could do?

Little Miss Maiya has struck me as being the type of succubus that is succuless.  Lol.  I finally decided that she must not be a succubus.

But that she is still bound to me, and I to her.

That she is faithful and true, loving in her own way, but that sex just wasn't going to be there for me.



I kind of doubted that she was a succubus, but then I would remember what my letter stated and who I wrote it to petitioning for a succubus (Lady Lilith).

Oh, friends, I just threw in the towel.

I decided that she was succuless and sex just wasn't going to be a factor in our relationship.

Christmas I was here alone as we had all had our Christmas on differing days.

So, there I was alone and I could feel Maiya very strongly with me as a comfort, a companion.

That's when I gave up.

I decided I didn't care about the sex anymore enough to mention it to her.

I decided I didn't care that no sex was very strange for a succubus and that honestly it didn't matter what I thought, lol.

I finally surrendered.  Whatever will be will be.  She's mine and I am hers and we just have to make it anyway we can together.

Boys and Girls, out of nowhere she laid the SMACK down me!

I had the best succubus sex of my life!

Now being thoroughly boggled, all I can conclude is that to her the bond was worth more than the sex and that once I had surrendered to her our bond was fulfilled, her requirements had been met, and about an hour or two of sensual play culminating with her presence head-cradling me while I had a screaming orgasm later... I think I might have bought a clue ;)

But... Frankly, I'm still in shock about the whole thing... But... she wasn't sexual... But... I...  She...

Does anyone out there really claim to know succubi through and through?  If so gimme a call and I'll prove you damn wrong...

Happy New Year!


Blessings,

Rafe GB

"For the love that I make, I'm going to Hell!"

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.  Whether you're a fellow succublogger, a succubrother or succusister, or have just been interested in following the blog I thank you... that is the best Christmas present ever.

May you have peace, joy, happiness, and fulfillment abounding both for the end of this year, and the year to follow.

Wishing you a prosperous 2018 (from both of us).


Blessings,


Rafe GB.

Sacrifice

I talked to a friend about whether it would make any difference if one were to have sex with themselves as to how it would affect a relationship with a succubus.

I don't condemn taking care of business if you need to at some point, but I feel in light of new information and experiences that it is indeed good to sacrifice for your succubus.

I got to the point of abstaining (and still am) where I thought I was gonna pop, but strangely it had an immense affect instead in other ways.

I had a dream last night where my succubus entered my dream and wow did it get vivid!

She took me and we had sex twice, finishing both times.


It was perfect.  I mean perfect.

I awoke this morning figuring to find my shorts in need of laundering, but this was not the case.

How can that be, lol?

How can one have long, great nocturnal sex that feels realer than real, finish TWICE, and there be nothing of the dream upon awakening, aka no night time emissions?

I don't have an answer for that, but I do have something:

Sacrifice the feeling of instant gratification of masturbation and your lover will come closer to you, hold you, love you, and yes... have sex from your wild fantasies in your dreams.

Will you sacrifice for her?



Blessings,

Rafe GB.

Succubus Nurse

I've been out of sorts after having my 2 lower wisdom teeth removed.

Feeling like crap, I've only felt my succubus come around a few times and me shooing her off.

I'm not the kind who wants comfort when I'm hurt, I just want to be alone.

I've felt her a few times as I've gotten better, but more so I think for her to give a little sympathy that she wants to give rather than instigate any sex or anything... I'm just not well enough yet.



They sure are sweet though... most of the time that is.

She's been very gentle with me since I've been sick and hurting.  I applaud her for that.

I give her kudos for putting up with my cranky ass that I've been since I've been hurting.  I guess marriage takes into consideration all possibilities and she's just learning how I am when I am sick or wounded.

In her own little way she's been perfect, and what more can I ask for?

Perhaps if anything, it is that I learn to "let her in" when I am sick and allow her comfort into my life.


Blessings,

Rafe GB.

My Son...

My son is 10 years old.  Much to my fear, I guess you would say, he's captured the eye of a young succubus who likes to play with him in his dreams and at one point drag him around his room laughing while he was in trance.

Now, everyone should know that I'm a lover of succubi as a race.  They fascinate me.

But as a father of course, I'm a little worried about him attracting a little girl succubus at such a tender age.

He asked me, "Dad, what does it mean when a girl spirit vibrates your hips?"  And I about fell over in conniptions.

Yes... my little boy has a little girl succubus.

How do I know she's little?  Well... she's immature, likes to play games that are appropriate for his age, and so on and so forth.

I know she's a succubus by her vibrating his hips.  He doesn't feel this as sexual as he's not quite in puberty yet (though getting close).  The vibrating of the hips, or vibration of the sacral chakra is just a succubus's way of say, "Hi!  Pay attention to me!"

She also decided to grace him with her name which I thought was sweet and also an indicator that she's not going anywhere.

I have a feeling my son is going to be one of those few humans who will have a succubus all of their lives.

How I feel about this is funny.  I want him to be happy.  I also would like her to be happy.  And as a father I want it all to unfold in it's proper time and way for him.

Being as Lilith is my patroness now, I think things will be okay.

Having said that, I don't have much else to say, so...

Blessings,


Rafe GB.