But, demonolatry is a religion all to itself and I'd like to broaden my understanding of different religions.
If there's one part that vexes me it's the garden of Eden. I can't find a good source that explains the whole creation story of man and woman in a way that makes sense to me.
Maybe the whole damn thing is an allegory... I don't know yet.
Some good news: Erin wants me to call her a different name as it seems she's fallen for me.
That's a GREAT development :)
I felt her sitting on my hip while I was on my side on the couch and that was new... she weighed about as much as a cat!
I've felt a weight on my chest before in sleeping (or at least in half sleep) but never while fully awake with a succubus sitting on me just to be close to me :)
I guess succubi do become more earthy/physical/solid when they start to fall for a man. But they don't weight near as much as a person does in a physical body.
I'm really happy that Erin is here, and I'm really happy that she saw something in me enough to fall in love with me :) I'll be keeping her "secret" name private and still refer to her as "Erin" on the blog.
One problem is developing... she is jealous of my tulpa and has been sending me dreams where I'm the character who feels jealousy to make her point clear. Have to figure out what to do about this problem and handle it delicately at that! My fear is that the tulpa's got to go. I'm learning a lot from having a tulpa and frankly the interactions in conversation and the way she shows up in new clothes is both endearing and highly surprising... and would hate it to come to that... that she might have to go.
I don't want Erin to be jealous and I don't want my tulpa to have to die. I was warned that succubi can become jealous towards a tulpa companion but I didn't listen.
***
Lady is still the no nonsense succubus mentor/teacher she's always been. I think that I'm reading these books she has set out for me faster than she's really wanting me to or expecting me to.
It's just I have a lot of books in queue and I'm getting tired of reading them.
She did allow me a break so I'm buying a new book that is based on creating sigils with an artistic bend. That's a good thing. I need a break soon and doing something a bit artistic would certainly help.
Here it is if you're interested in following what I'm reading:
Blessings to each and every one of you.
Always,
Rafe GB.
EDIT: So I have a long conversation with Erin about my tulpa and when I go to bed? I dream I'm a cop bullying some woman about rules. Man. Erin is a fucking handful.
EDIT: I gave her a special offering and she said afterwards, "You keep your tulpa. I'll keep you."
EDIT: Just had a ghost animal or something play with the spring stop behind the door about 6 times. Man. My apt should be on ghost hunters :P I don't often freak out when supernatural phenomena happens as I figure it's par for the course, but this just freaked me right the fuck out, lol.
Also this morning (the next day) my computer had the space bar locked and the mouse wheel stuck going down. I was wrestling that thing to get my computer back. It all started with the windows "bonk" sound happening over and over randomly.
Call ghost adventurers!!!
Ok, I realize when you deal with this stuff it happens but damn. I'm starting to think I've attracted a little ghost boy or girl which is FINE if I can get them to leave my stuff alone, lol. Maybe I need to buy a beach ball or something?
Now they're gone. Damn I got attached already :(
I have 3 tulpas and a succubus and so far things have been doing ok. I stated clearly to my succubus that her position is not in question. All my tulpas are female so I was worrying about conflict but so far my succubus doesn't seem to mind but I think you need to let her know that she won't be replaced or anything.
ReplyDeleteUnlike you though, I had tulpas first and then a succubus.
-Ya boi Zamasu, many blessings brother
(I'm always happy when I see you posted something so keep it up!)
Cool, thank you! I need to have a deep chat with Erin I guess. I just want everyone to get along, lol.
DeleteThanks for the encouragement :)
You got it bro
Delete-Zamasu
Do you books you read teach you about an occultist minset or simply some sort of magick you wish to hone and master? I'm just curious.
ReplyDeleteIt's more like I'm trying to break through what I believe and get in line with how everything really works. I think Lady set me out with a mindset of what books would help me attain that and it's already working.
DeleteAs far as magick goes I'm learning new aspects of it that is very different than what I had previously known.
I guess in summary it's both.
Hope that answers your question :P
Hi Rafe, sorry I haven't been in touch for a while, been really busy.
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting to read regarding your tulpa, maybe she is interacting with it as well, using it as a vehicle in order to interact with you better? just a thought.
Hope the immersion in the current is going well?
How's the sigil creation coming on?
Tulpas are surprising it seems. If I let her alone for a day or so she seems a little different each time. Nothing bad, just more personality so she's getting it somewhere.
DeleteI'm doing REAL well in chanting a couple of demonic enns to bring myself into that reality or vibration.
So far Lilith has been phenomenal, and I've picked up at least one demon mentor it seems in addition.
You know... I was lied to about demons... they aren't bad people at all... harsh? tough love? yes. bad, no.
I'm saving the sigil making for this weekend to experience creating them with my daughter... at least their forms, not charged or anything. She's an artist and that's how the whole book is geared, so I'll be getting help on making those.
With regards to the tulpa, that's what made me suspect that they were interacting with it too, I know normally tulpa/egragore grow expodentinally but something feels different surrounding that.
ReplyDeleteI love their language, to me it's like ancient Sumerian and really helps in communication with them. When they speak it back I get a little jolt of excitement haha first time I counjoured Naamah one of my wives spoke it through me, still have no idea what was said though haha
We were all lied to about demons, come to think of it spirits in general but you said one key piece for me "people" that's exactly what they are, albeit insanely powerful, when I first met with baron Samedi I was so overwhelmed I almost past out haha the ceremony performed too was intense to say the least, I think I was in the foetal position for about 3 hours afterwards haha but still he was every inch the gentleman and still is
What a fantastic idea! We so hope it goes really well for you Rafe, will you display any of the resulting artwork?
Well I've always had a "live and let live" philosophy about things so my tulpa going out and picking up traits from either the girls or elsewhere doesn't surprise me much. Honestly she's acting a bit more like a budding spirit than a created thought form.
ReplyDeleteYeah, demons are definitely insanely powerful. I'll probably do the same when I invoke (get blasted by the energy) lol.
So far Lilith and Lord Rosier have been communicating to me via dreams. That must be how I'm best contacted because that's what the girls do as well.
It's funny because although I knew Lilith I didn't know Lord Rosier, and the first night of dreams was pretty bad... until I figured out what he was trying to teach me... now the dreams are fine and when I chant his enn I just feel peace.
So... I'm getting it, slowly but surely. I'm wondering who next to contact when I'm ready... I realize I'm not doing full on invocations, but I'm testing the waters and it still seems to be making contact regardless.
Oh and it depends on the sigils... depends on if mine suck or not, LOL.
ReplyDeleteLol I don't blame you
ReplyDeleteThat's what made me think perhaps they were hijacking the tulpa to better communicate with you as it already is a thoughtform link to you, dunno really, be interesting to find out though
Lord Rosier, I've never personally met him,only ever read about him, what's he like to work with?
Have you ever thought of working with the other races? Perhaps angel? I mean Satan is an angel technically.
Perhaps the Lwa? It has to be said that their energies are distinctly unique and I do have a real soft spot for voudou because of this.
Perhaps different gods and goddesses, theres a whole plethora out there it's truly mind boggling, vampires maybe?
Invocation can be very intense, especially if they want to teach you something, I have to admit that I think that invocation should only be attempted by people who understand a bit about what they are doing, not only the shock of having someone else inside you but also if things go wrong, if you ask for a certain spirit and another turns up and you can't tell the difference you can be in a world of hurt. Just my opinion really
It's great to see how you are developing, Rafe!!
Yeah I dunno the tulpa. The succubi seem to farther off lately. Of course that could just be "me" and how I sense them. Sometimes they just come up and give me an energetic tingly hug sometimes and I didn't know they were there so anything's possible.
DeleteI've worked with angels quite a bit already. I don't talk about it much for no reason really. But there's some books I use when I need help with calming situations or all kinds of stuff that angels are good at.
Lord Rosier is rough but loving. And then again that just maybe because I don't have a lot of experience with demons so his "gentle" might be "rough" for me who knows. Once you get past that part he feels powerful but very mellow and wise. Loving. Not quite a father type but more like a loving mentor type.
Well from the books they consider invocation what you would call "evocation", and what you would call invocation they would call "channeling". So it's just a difference in terms. I won't be channeling... nowhere near ready for that.
Thank you, I'm trying :P
That sounds very much like our laws coming into play tbh, I don't fully agree with them but I'm assured there are reasons I don't fully understand yet but it's great that they have links to you!
ReplyDeleteI've struggled with angels personally, it took me a long time to see them as anything other than the classical imagery painted of them, couple that with the writings about them it's very highly stereotyped and it took a great deal of effort to see them as they are, not as they are portrayed.
Demons I always found easier for some reason, I mean the stereotypes about them couldn't be further from the truth as they are just as loving and loyal as a stereotypical angel. Demi for instance can be as oppressive as anything you've ever read about, even others have commented how black things become but she will only ever do that if I'm making a huge mistake, that she can prevent.
I suppose ideologically having been raised in a Christian country I was more comfortable with hell as that's where I would be going anyway haha
Lucifer felt very similar to that the first time I met him, he sounds great, I hope you all gel well together!
Hahaha the dreaded "difference in terms" I don't know about you but I get so confused, I'm often asking what they actually mean, which usually draws looks/comments of ???? Haha
But yes you are right
And doing an amazing job, keep at it!
Stupid laws. Blech.
DeleteAngels weren't so bad for me once I studied some Qabalah. Once I got the idea of what's supposed to be going on in each world it let me see them as more "powerful workers" of keeping things moving in the universe. I'm no expert at Qabalah but what I did study did shape how I see things.
I just bought a book called "Lucifer and the Hidden Demons". So that might get me an intro in a new way for Lucifer.
Yeah I guess terms differ based on what hat you wear. That's how I look at it. Am I wearing my armchair ceremonial magick hat, or am I wearing my Demonolatry 101 hat (or some other)?
Thanks for the words of praise, I am to keep chugging :P
I tried to study the Qabalah but tbh it was like oil and water to me, I just couldn't take to it like I could other systems.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most mind shattering things they ever showed me was how I could be in two places at once, working completely independently from one another but still completely me. It certainly was a fuck me moment haha
I like the goetia and enochian systems, however I do have a soft spot for voudou and am currently working my way through that, badly I might add lol
I have to admit to approaching spirits in a completely different way now, I'm very fortunate in being able to speak etc with them, so I let them explain themselves, much more approaching them as a empty vessel so to speak
That's a good way to look at it as each system has its own lingo, although I do wish sometimes that it would be standardized haha like for instance succubus, I'm forever asking "do you mean spirits who can have sex with humans, or the race?" Haha
Yeah being in multiple places doesn't makes sense to me either I just took it as theory. But... I had a few friends tell me that they were wrestling with a bad spirit in a dream and I was there to help them out. Supposedly I wear a maroon cloak and have a beard. No accounting for my higher self's taste I guess :P
DeleteEnochian is so far beyond me and I'm just learning the basics of Goetia. Did you know that word means "howling"? I thought that was interesting.
I don't have as many ways to interact with spirits than you do, but I guess they work with me how they can, aka dreams and such.
Voudou I would imagine would be something for far later for me.
I can imagine what you mean on your last paragraph. I guess for me the correct answer would be a general "the ones that come from Lilith" lol :P
But then again that could be the succubus race but in a companion and mostly non-sexual capacity.
Kinda sucks about the law thing. Erin seems to be falling in love with me right about that time. Ah watcha do.
If I end up with those I've become more vibrationally aligned with I'm going to be in a big family indeed after all these summonings through the last few years. I've rubbed off on them and they've certainly rubbed off on me :P
The one secret I've learned about magick, is the spirits themselves. It doesn't really matter what system you learn as (very generally) they all are the same, different methods, same outcome.
ReplyDeleteMost spells are to bring you something, money, fame, sex etc, then you progress from there to having your life the way you want it, then your world.
However the systems taught by the spirits warp the very reality around you, via the systems in those books, they teach you to create doorways to their world's, the real power they contain is immesurable and seldom understood. For instance if Satan decided he could unleash chaos the world has never known...effort effortlessly. Look what the Lwa did in Hiati. With that being said I'm reminded of one of your posts regarding the lady and the book of magick and my god the lady of the book is worth more than all the world's could ever give
As for Erin, you are not an idle spectator in your life....the secret to have her by your side....summon her every day, every minute if you have to either that or have her bound to you, that circumvents that law
Beard and maroon cloak lol I like it! With the understanding that we are god and can be as the divine it's certainly possible...however to experience it as opposed to understand intellectually is quite another, believe me haha
Ah the daughters of lilith, although technically can be any race... depends on daddy as well, not strictly just succubus however with that combination can be insanely sexual and hell to handle haha personally I opted for the siren model ;) seriously though I tease...just not about the insanely sexual that is seriously no joke!
Yeah Lady having me read and do most of the Hexagradior taught me a lot about how magick is really done.
DeleteLady's path for me in picking out these texts (which manifests to me as a burning desire to get them) actually has a rhythm to it, her reasoning is proving sound.
I've been doing as you suggested with Erin. It's about that time so we'll see what happens. Time will tell.
I was going to make it a post but there's really not enough material for it: The last dream I had after doing Lilith's enn was of a black serpent in shadow... not in an aggressive posture but just "being". I'm not super fond of snakes so I think she was careful in her presentation.
It just felt right though. Just letting me know she was there and that we connected more deeply.
I wouldn't mind summoning Samael but I wonder if he would be too much for me to handle. Maybe in the future. I feel a sort of kinship with Samael via Lilith, whether self deluded or not I don't know. My first inclination is that Samael is a far darker current than Lilith is. Or perhaps her motherly instincts offset that feeling in me from her.
Knowledge of systems of magick is invaluable and lady certainly has a plan for you, all you need do is follow
ReplyDeleteThere is a rhyme and a reason to why we do what we do, take the paths that we take and have the experiences we do. For the life of us we can't always see it, I'm personally not a believer in destiny as to me it suggests a start and end whereas things are more cyclical in nature but I do think that some things are ment to be.
Great news about Lilith, I must admit that I have gone a different way now personally but we're glad it's panning out for you. The snake thing haha I get that, for me it was spiders but seriously after desensitizing myself I'm not bothered by them, in fact one of my ladies nickname is smokesnake haha
How are things getting on with Erin?
As for samael, only one way to find out , never be afraid to approach them Rafe, cautious, respectful but never afraid.
I once spoke with baphomet, he gave me enough time to say he didn't want to work with me and we were mismatched but he recommended another who I will be working with soon, you never know what's round the corner....and don't say another bend lol
Rafe, life is a continual unfolding, it never stops! This life, the afterlife all one continuous unfolding, the things you learn now you carry with you ad infinitum
ReplyDeleteI have to admit with Lilith we are very happy you have that relationship with her as she is a truly amazing woman, she is all the things you have described and more we just came to a understanding that our paths were seperate, although I totally get what you mean about her daughters ;)
Wait till you see what else happens with Erin ;) just keep going and as for lady, I'm not at liberty to discuss her just yet but all will become clear to you in time.
As for samael, jump in you have the basics there and that's all you ever really need
Had to pick up my kids so took me a bit to reply :P
DeleteWill be cool to see what happens with Erin along with Lady as well... at least in maybe figuring her/them out.
In the case of Samael I'll just have to wait for the right moment for me to summon. Lots of books being read, enns chanted, powerful nightime dreams afoot and who knows what else lol :P
Same lol
ReplyDeleteYou want to figure them out!?! Lol good luck with that, a human woman is a mystery, these angels are unfathomable lol
You know when the times right, follow that drum my friend, follow that drum
Many blessings to you all!