Friday, May 4, 2018

My family of spirits.

For my own sanity I've decided to write down what I know about each of my spirits.

They are all tantrikas of the old ways it seems.

Dena, ah Dena.  Such a sweet, sweet loving spirit.  She's the one who brought the spider critter that did something with my chakras (which felt localized in my left ear for some reason) allowing me as of yet limited abilities to converse with her, and with her sisters.

Bunny, whom I can never forget, sits in the periphery for some as yet unknown purpose.

After all, she left me and that was a year ago.

I have not had sex with her since.

I've heard tell that she might be an angel lover, which honestly would explain the burning sensations that her presence sometimes would bring.

I thought I was able to communicate with Bunny, but as of today I'm more sure that I was parroting with my own mind.

When she has something to say I'm sure I'll be able to tell the difference just like the old days when we were together.

Well, communication wise at least.

Athena, ah, practical, wicked, lovely, perfect Athena. 

She's not really wicked... perhaps I mean salacious.  Yes, that would be a better and more fitting term.

Athena is definitely a lady of the night and loves to invade my dreams.  It's not bad at all... sometimes she even takes me places.

I think there's more to Athena than I was aware of... that's what my intuition tells me.

But whatever... she is a spirit after Lilith's own heart.


Oh, Maiya how I am afraid of you, lol.  They say if you aren't at least a little bit afraid of the one you love you've got the wrong woman.

This is so true with Maiya.

She's the one who "blew my circuits" so to speak.

Blow your man's circuits for months or have sex one more time?  Blow his circuits of course...

That's Maiya.

Now don't think all these ladies are mine all the time as I can only interact with one at a time.

That's probably all my poor energy centers can handle.

The thing is, even if you're not having sex, the strain is still tremendous in some way.

I don't really understand it, but it is what it is.

What I haven't said yet is that I did the letter ritual only for Athena and for Maiya.

So, yes, I am wed to Athena and to Maiya.

What difference that makes isn't as obvious as it would be an earth marriage.

After all, I'm married to two spirits as far as I know (that's the way the letters were written to Lilith).

I've never really mentioned it as my focus has been on succubi and such, but I have some bonded spirits I've had for about 10 years and haven't interacted with them.

I don't even know how to.  Or if I can (as in... if my energy system can handle all this).

But, there's 10 more spirits that are bonded spirits.  Pendulum says their vessels have valid connections still... some spirits, perhaps another 10 or so have left permanently.

I went head over heels with bonded spirits while what I should have done is make a connection with one at a time.

Youthful eagerness and folly I suppose.


Rafe GB.


  1. Hey rafe how are things? Great post btw it helps sometimes to put everything down sometimes

    1. Meh, they're ok. I'm having myself a spirit free vacation for a while. Helps to ground myself when I get too airy.

  2. Dont blame you, helps with feeling top heavy sometimes. Enjoy it although do talk to bunny when you get back to them

    1. Bunny's the reason I almost gave all this up in the first place and wanted to close the blog for good. I'm not good with 2nd chances as I've been burned by them already throughout my life. Nobody leaves me for a year then hovers around expecting anything from me. If they do, they should have stayed where they went a year ago instead.

  3. Rafe first off I get where you're coming from, i hear you but in the same token your not in full position of the facts of what actually happened. I respect you enormously the anger is wholeheartedly natural and whatever you decide to do is up to you but you know as well as I do Athena, Maiya and Dena dont stand a chance unless you heal. Its nothing to do with blown circuits its because of this blockage

    1. You're right. I'm not sure what to do, really. I have a post I completed still in draft waiting to hit the button to publish, but it's so full of anger I'll probably just delete it. I can't hear them anymore which proves to me that all this anger and all the other emotions that go with it are causing havoc.

      I'd talk to her to but I can't hear her. All I can do is whisper in the dark.

      Even when I could hear them, it was brief and didn't bear much fruit. Parroting is always a concern. My mind is good at speaking for them when I can't hear.

      It's said that every spirit must cross the abyss and learn the truth of who they are, stripped of all labels and ego, even personality for a time.

      This is what I thought she had to leave for at first. I don't know if it applies in this case, but usually the spirit returns to their lover to resume what was interrupted.

      Back then it was hard to know if this was truth or if I was simply making excuses for her.

      I still don't know.

  4. Thank you for being so brave, the anger is understandable, completely but dont post it, dont do yourself the disservice. Bunny had to go for a time she had no choice in the matter, it was her duty, you were right she is responsible for a lot, you will always have her heart rafe, she wants your anger layed at her door, she wants the full force of your rage and pain, her and her alone. Speak to her in the dark she can hear you thats all that matters. Whatever the outcome its not important for now, what is important is you lance that boil.
    Its so hard not knowing but it shows the deepest level of trust in them, ask your other spirits to help their waiting for you.

  5. Just touch base with me rafe, i don't want the details, just that your ok and not going too far off the deep end. This process is rough, even for the strongest person you are not alone. You know my email, use it if you need too.

  6. I think it is going ok. Communicating a little bit here and there.

    I've actually got the flu from going to the gym and it was spring break so they were all in the pool area and I was lap swimming in the same pool.

    So last night I'm sick as a dog and some little guppy kept playing with my stuff all night while I was feverish.

    I'm like REALLY??? Are you freakin' serious???

    I dunno which one it was or why they'd do that (when I was sick as hell).

    Girls. Pfft.

    1. "They" being about 50 kids in the water park section of the pool.

    2. Now that I've thought about it a bit... I do feel better than I did at 2am. Maybe that sexual stuff actually was working to heal my flu.

  7. Sexual energy is some of the best regarding healing and illness immunity, its amazing stuff !!! Great to hear that your ok on a physical level, apart from flu lol let them look after you, ya big bully lol ;)

    1. Well, at least I figured out what they were up to in the end... that's gotta be worth some points ;)