Dena said no to my cute nicknames... lol.

I've been suffering with depression something fierce as I have said before.  I seem to be coming out of it a little bit by little.

So far I've got chores done (most of them), cut my hair, shaved my face and neck.

So, at least I feel better that I'm all clean and tidy at least.  That says a lot for me to even get to that point when I've slumped so low.



You can't feel spirits when you get that low.  At least I can't.  It's like your vibration is so stagnant that they can't interact with you.

Now, that's not always the case as during one depressive episode I laid down to bed for the 2nd time in the day and my bed shook me back out onto the floor on my feet.

So, just because you can't feel your spirits doesn't mean they aren't there.

Kind of a neat trick, I wonder how they could lift me out of bed like that and shake me to the floor landing on my feet?

I'll never know I guess.  But I did go walking as I figured that was what they wanted and I did feel a little better.  I was slipping pretty low so I'm thankful for their intervention.  Spirits shaking me out of bed onto the floor right on my feet.  Had to be there I guess.

I've been told that I have 4 spirits around me but I only feel one.  Dena.

Little Miss Dena.  I don't know what she is really but she brought her own pet spider that she lets play in my left ear and all along the outside of it.  You'd be surprised how quickly you actually get used to that and don't grab for what's not there all the time anymore.  I'm pretty much used to it by now.

I've talked about the spider before so that's probably old news.

Point is, Dena to me, and with no disrespect just doesn't sound right to me.  Dena.

The name "Dena" just doesn't sound  right.  "Dena" just doesn't match her personality at all.  But, she likes it so whatever she wants.

(I had originally gave her a nickname of "Kitty".  She wasn't amused.)

We haven't had sex, well... lets get that right:  I haven't had sex with a spirit properly in over a year or so, so when I'm bonding with Dena it's different.  Kinda.

I'd love to have sex with her but I've still got that block going on I think.  I think I'm going to be cursed with it for a long, long, long time... maybe permanently.

If that happens I'll probably put the blog on hold until I return to having sex.  If, that is.

No, not good enough.  Not probably.

After all, this blog is all about sex and love with spirits.  Kind of hard to sponsor that if I'm not having any anymore, eh?

I've done the energy work, listened to recommendations, the whole enchilada but it's just not working out.

And I am out of patience with all of it.  I'm tired.  I'm old.  I don't want to play anymore, and it is what it is.

If I end up engaged in spiritual sex and the love that goes with it in the future, I'm sure I'll be just itching to keep writing and everything will return to normal.

Until then,

Blessings,


Rafe Goddessborn

(Now you finally know what GB meant)