Monday, November 2, 2015
I Just Got Taken to School.
I've been wanting to get ever closer to my Succubus lately, and I've been trying sex/sigil magick to do it because she's been real distant. She's HERE but, detached, like from a long way off, like she's elsewhere but still has that connection to me "here".
Hasn't been really successful, but... I keep trying.
However, today I sensed a new presence in addition to my Succubus Lady.
She felt quite close, and opened up a mental dialogue with me. All I can tell is that She is a She, powerful, and wise.
Kind of like a Mother of Succubi and Incubi?
"You're trying to get closer to her?"
Yes. I am.
"You are using sex, right?"
"Why sex magick?"
Well, it worked in the beginn...
"No, it called her and allowed her to notice you."
But, she's a Succu...
"What are you?"
I'm a man.
"Are you sex? Man?"
"Then she is the same, not so simply defined."
"Sex is an emotion, an expression, you express it. You are NOT it. Neither is she."
But she's a succu...
"And you are man. Do you not have sex as well? Is sex = man?"
"Why do you think she loves you?"
Sex and love together?...
"No. Sex called her, but She CAME because she liked you, she STAYS because you listen... or at least try (I could feel mirth here, but not unkind)."
"To find Her and get closer, go within. Be quiet! Relax. Breathe. Rythm! Find what is you inside, and what is not you, is mostly Her. What you find beyond is mostly you both, and beyond that is mostly everything else."
Long Pause as I thought about her words.
"Hah, you will try, you will fail, but then you will succeed. Glad tidings, Man, Lover of my Daughter."
Then she was gone, but I do feel that she is watching a bit. Not sure why. I don't feel my particular relationship merits any special observation if that makes any sense? Also, I didn't mind being called just "Man" really. Truth be told, I think we are all Scent (emotion), frequency, and vibration, which cannot be made into a true word as simple as a name. Scent (emotion), frequency, and vibration IS our name. No two "individual beings" are exactly the same. It's like trying to give a thumbprint a name. It is unique, it's uniqueness is it's name. Sorta,
Ah well, the Mother's "scent/aura/vibration" was pleasant to me, so I don't mind, really.
I'm getting used to "feeling watched" all the time, anyway.
Plus, I could feel Her amusement and kindness towards me travelling along with Her words. So it's all good :P