Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Nothing like stress

Nothing like stress to shut out a succubus.

It can't be helped in my case as when I start to stress and worry, that's what I do round and round we go.

My car died with major engine damage all of a sudden and I had to find a replacement fast, not to mention titling nightmares, insurance, using up all my savings, etc.

It seems the first thing to go is my ability to sense the paranormal, and off it goes.

So, I've been stressing and worrying away, Mena's been distant although I'm sure that period of time was as I said, due to my stress and worrying.

It might not be my fault:  But it is my fault if you know what I mean.

Anyway, got a replacement car, got through all the associated worries, and now I'm finally starting to meditate at night trying to get a grasp on things and wind down that worry cycle that rushes through my thoughts like a train.

Now, the good news is that last night I did just that, and while difficult, Mena came over me and helped me.

I could feel her coddle my head and caress me to help me relax.

Then she gave me many sensual touches causing me to relax even further.

She helped to give me a good dream (I have been having nightmares from the stress), and was there this morning to help me relax some more by her presence and light and wonderful touches.

The intimacy was really nice and most welcome.

I've got to say that Mena is a real blessing in my life.

I'm so glad that she is not only in it with me, but that she really seems to take an interest in helping me.

I still struggle with her "dark side" that she radiates sometimes.  It's so powerful:  It feels like a black sun.

I don't understand it and it's hard for me to swallow, but her actions speak volumes louder than those feelings I get from time to time.

It is confusing, and although it does feel very uncomfortable sometimes, I'm a big believer in "You shall know them by their fruits".

I've got my love life part moving along pretty good:  Now what I could use is some really good day to day friends.

Making friends is not my strong suit.

You know that brain/mouth filter that keeps you from saying inappropriate stuff on the spur of the moment?

Yeah, I don't have one of those.  So it's a challenge.  I mean well, but I lack tact.

With that said, I'll finish this post now.

Blessings upon you who are reading this.


Rafe GB.

"Black Sun"


  1. Rarely does anyone I know of online talk about their dark side..... I bet that's not a coincidence. How did you rationalize it with your your previous succubus?

    1. She didn't really have one except for a few times during what I'd call "mating season" where she felt almost feral and hungry.

      Lol, that sounds much, much worse than it was.

      The current one is different as I feel that dark current a lot, even when she's being sweet or affectionate. I summoned the previous one with a method from the succusummon books by Erik Vonroth, whereas the current one I summoned with a letter to Lilith.

      How do I deal with it? I grit my teeth.

      I truly believe actions speak louder than words and I truly don't believe that dark current is evil (I admit I don't know what it is or even how to properly describe it), but even so that black sun feeling is powerful, powerful energy to face.