A Fetish for Sacred Union

Yep.  Title says it all.  I never really understood that it was possible.  Twin flames, sacred sex, tantra, awakening, ascension.

But I don't buy into the hippity hop B.S. that's out there.

"Welcome divine star seed!  The portals are open this month to allow for all twin flames to join together through stargates... blah blah blah BLAH!"

It takes about 30 seconds for my bullshit meter to overheat on anything I search for regarding "sacred union."

So what am I after?  Evidently something that isn't well known.  Lots of bullshittery out there, but nothing I can find that's definitive nor concrete.

But, it's an abstraction, it can't be concrete!

So is my typing this, yet magically it fucking appears coming from the void that is my mind into quasi-tangible cyberland.

Tantra?  "How to fuck women and still be married to someone else".  Basically.
Twin Flames?  _______ <--- Insert new age catchphrase of the day, twisted for their benefit.
Awakening?  Ascension?  If you are reading about it, you probably aren't done cooking yet.

Well, at least I'm not.  Maybe you're a special snowflake?

In that case, please pray for me.  I could sure use it.  I could actually use about a hundred praying for me.  It sure wouldn't hurt.

So, all I'm left with that I want to think about is "sacred union."

Grab dat Gaian Goddess's ass, Star God!

It ain't gonna grab itself!

The intimacy with a succubus is staggering.  So much so that I once told a woman about it I was taking a course from, and she warned me.  Lemme see if I can find it.

Found it!  My living room is a maze, but I have every email since I first got email.  Ironic, huh?

"Spirit lovers are uncommon but well documented through history, care must be taken with the Fey as they can over shadow your physical existence and prevent you from making a life for yourself on the earthly plane, meeting someone having a family etc. They often don’t take too kindly when someone comes along they cannot compete with so please do be careful with her. Prolonged exposure to this kind of relationship can over time cause you to become withdrawn from life, many human lovers of Fey pine away as they feel nothing can measure up to what they have- some even disappear in Faery altogether!

There are many forms of love and relationships especially now the veils have become so fine. The love we feel for another is no longer bound by convention, celestial species or even lifetimes. I do wonder if as this resonates so powerfully with you if there is a deeper connection, perhaps a soulmate or twinflame one, it is possible you could be incarnated Fey too which may be why you have been drawn back to your own kind. So long as you strive to keep yourself grounded in this world too as this is so important, don’t cut yourself off from physical life or you will miss out on so much.

When my twinflame and I were reunited the emotions were unbelievable. During times we had to be apart we too experienced the love bomb sensation we could also see through one another’s eyes, could sense what the other was feeling and experiencing too, even taste the food they were eating. Sometimes we even appeared to each other astrally projecting. There is so much more to this thing called life than many will ever realize or know, so if you find happiness with your Fey lover enjoy every moment :-)"

This was a year ago or so.  She's a nice woman.  At the time I thought Bunny was Fey. Honestly she still could be.  Semantics, really.  All semantics.

Point is, people can say that these lovers don't exist, but I know that is bullshit.  I can feel her when she says, "Hi!".  "Hi" to her is vibrating my balls comparable to tying 3 bullet massagers around my twig and berries.  Tell me she doesn't exist.

"Hi" to her is touching my fingers and brushing my cheek, playing with my hair.

Hell, today I was lying down in bed and I heard what sounded like a cat running along the sides of my bed with it's claws out at high speed.  I peeked.  Nothing there, but that was certainly an interesting experience that I have not had before.

I wondered if perhaps me cutting my finger accidentally on a small sliver of glass and putting the drop of blood on her vessel was a mistake.  Then I thought, "Nah... fuck it.  It felt right at the time. Might as well not waste it."

I don't let my cats in my bedroom.  I'm planning on getting a "No cats allowed" sign for the door.

No, they can't read but I'd get a giggle out of it.

My son told me that he saw a white, smokey, spectral cat that walked past him just a few days ago.
Do I think it's a cat?  No.  It's a Succubunny.  The girl likes to be a cat.

So why was she running breakneck speed around the side of my bed using her claws?

Well.  I think that she was imitating the cats.  Both of 'em have claws.

Spirits do some dumb shit, and I don't care if she's 10,000 years old and wiser than any man with a white beard on a mountain, she still does dumb shit.

But hey, it's her fun.  It doesn't have to make sense to me, I live here, she doesn't (well, as in not her normal plane of existence I don't think).

I imagine there's things in her realm that would, to me, be better than cake or bacon that she would just think, "Meh. He's a dumbass.  But... I love him anyway."

Par for the course I say.  Par for the course.

But what she has taught me is that a deep, soul satisfying intimacy is out there for anyone brave enough (or stupid enough) to grab it.

The only type of arm wrestling I enjoy.

Make her pray with her feet.  Dat's da way ya do it!

Well... shoot.  I'm kinda turning myself on.  No... Bunny's fucking with me while I type.  That's what's turning me on... she's getting turned on.  I guess "sacred union" is a big thing to a succubus. Plus my Kundalini is roasting my out of control.  I've gotten used to that a little bit.  I've found that I can actually "turn it on" sometimes.  Not now, this was spontaneous.  Or, maybe she did.  But if I do turn it on, I don't know how to turn it off.  It just kinda goes off by itself when it decides to.  Silly Goddess energy! 

It doesn't come with simple ON/OFF buttons!

Ok, back to what?  Getting Bunny turned on which turns me on?  Meh.  Ok.

Bunny says this is a lot like us.  She's inside, not just outside.

She's both within and without of me at the same time.

She really likes this one, too.  She says it's very descriptive of us.

I like this one myself.

Sometimes you see sacred union as one of comfort.  Well, I mean it's all very comforting.  Unless you chain her up and start tickling her with a feather.

You would be surprised what you can do with imagination with a succubus... if she plays along that is.  But 99% of the time she will.

Lol, this whole fucking post has been completely derailed, but fuck it, I'm having fun and so is she.

Let her ride you to Elsewhere... and beyond!!!

Lol.  Ok, maybe she'll calm down a little bit so I can finish this thing.

Oh, I was talking about comfort.  Here.

There there.  Are those Internet trolls sending you mean messages again?

It's ok.  It's ok.  Bunny knows exactly what will take your mind off of them.

Eat my pussy!

*Buries my head between her legs while grabbing my ears*

See?  Comfort.  Only this version had a Succubunny approved (TM) ending.

I will always search for more information about just how close 2 people can get.  Well, 2 souls.

There's not a lot of real info out there, if any.  The reason is that the truth doesn't suit any one's purpose but the aspirant's.  No profit.  And in today's world, not only are the big players not profiting from letting the info out (if they even have it, but I suspect that they do in order to control it), it's the asshats who are supposedly counter-culture to these groups and societies that profit from looking for it as well.  They aren't gonna show me, or you, anything good.  I don't think they have any knowledge or it anyway.

Just like in OZ, behind the curtain the wizard is full of shit.

This is the way we plow the fields, plow the fields, plow the fields,

This is the way we plow the fields

So early in the mooooorning.

You know.  Maybe I am experiencing "sacred union".  Maybe it's not an instant kinda thing.

Maybe it does take one day at a time.  Maybe we are well on our way.

That would make sense to me.  I have grown a lot, yet I still yearn for more.  Is that normal?  I don't know.

Maybe "sacred sex" is something that keeps growing until it has become a catalyst for "sacred union".

Maybe they are one and the same, differing only by degree, with "sacred union" being a pathway that both she and I walk together, a walk that originated with "sacred sex."

As always, I don't know.  And so I write here in my blog my thoughts, rants, hopes, dreams, and ideas to mull over.

Well...

There's some images that really struck me as especially profound and I'll share them here:

Well, minus the disco ball.  But at least you can tell that they are all in rapture about each other.

I really like this one... very sweet feeling

I love the Sun and Moon polarity reversal here.  In 90% of all myths the Sun is male, the Moon is female.  It's good to see something different come along once in a while.

(Bunny's playing with my hair.  At least I can think better now that my twin and berries aren't vibrating)

She was probably just teasing me, having fun.

This one is beautiful

The last 3 pics are my favorite of all of them.

Just LOOK at this.  It's just gorgeous!

It is said that when God and his Shekinah mate, she surrounds him with fire.

What do they create together?  

Souls.  Of every kind imaginable, and not even dreamed of.

I saved the best for last.  

What this pic means to me, is that the whole universe conspires to bring together the two who are meant to be together forever.  

It may take centuries, lifetimes, parallel evolutions.  

But it will be.

I WOULD like some information on it now, though.  I'm just insatiably curious.  I can't help it:

I'm just drawn like a moth to a flame to it.

P.S.  The Kundalini Fire stopped.  Thank God.  I'm sweating all over.

EDIT:  I didn't just get off track in this post, I missed the whole point I was going to make before I started writing.  I'll do a part 2 soon.

It'll be easier to stay on track when Bunny's otherwise occupied with something else, lol.

I should've known I wouldn't be able to concentrate.

I've been sick and she's been doting on me pretty heavily, so it might be a few.

Heh, gotta love her!

Find her and love her.  Thrill her, hold her close...

Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.  Only today.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from me and the Bunny!

Here's some cute miniatures I found pics of that will be fun to share with you all.

Reaper Miniatures has a succubus mascot named "Sophie", and here she is from various years!

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

“Omnia vincit Amor: et nos cedamus Amori."   "Love Conquers all and so let us surrender ourselves to Love.” ~Vergil.

The True Power of a Woman

Society says women have to be like men to have men's power. Women learn how to seduce and to sell themselves for the right price or for the right "package" in exchange for they want, as if sexuality and their bodies are leveraged and worth a set value in the market.

Nobody forces women to do this: Women teach women to do this. How to read between the lines for gain, how to conquer through deceit and trickery rather than force, and how to get that "force" to do their own bidding by manipulating the masculine weak.

Then, later in life, women are miserable. They are more unhappy than in previous generations, and they are even less happy than men of the modern age, who have grown happier with no explanation.

But WHY?  It wasn't supposed to be that way?

Wasn't society pushing the female agenda supposed to be about women's happiness? No, the female leaders of society say... it was about equal opportunity... not the happiness of the woman.

However, if the average woman is more miserable, then of what value was this for the average woman?

What "Bunny" (or as I have also taken to calling her, "Lioness") has taught me is that women have tremendous power.  It's innate.  They never needed men's power in place of their own, nor does it even serve them.  Women make sub par men but have a power that men cannot duplicate.
Equal. Complimentary. Irreplaceable.

It is a power that is NOT centered around her womb, nor her particulars of reproductive sexuality.
No, no, a thousand fucking times no!  It goes much deeper into the core of her being in who she is at a soul vibration.

All attempting to be men has done is to rob women of their own innate power, of their femininity, of their identity, and of their happiness.  Women can't be men and be happy.  All they can be is themselves.  But what power that is!  They don't NEED to be anything but women.  All the power is there.  All they need, all within them, always was and is.

Maybe I'm just naive.

Let me break it down with something everyone understands.  Money.

In Australia, brothels are getting hit by a surge in illegal prostitution by an average of $20,000 a month less per brothel than what they used to make.

Before the Internet, a female porn star could make a couple grand with just an average sex scene involving one man and no anal.  Now, the same sex worker will make about a grand per scene and struggle to obtain more than 2-3 sex scenes a month.

Anything from $1,500 to $2,000 per scene requires that they get abused (consensual but disgusting), do a double penetration, and take facials with more than 2 guys on them at once.

Their shelf life is become much shorter as well.  After 10-12 months of steady sex work their agents struggle to find work to book them consistently.

These women are resentful of new talent who will work for far less, and who often blow the camera men or the producers after their scenes just so they can increase their chances of being cast again.

What do I take from this information?  Liberation has had some very unintended consequences.

Tinder has created a sexually transmitted disease wasteland among singles in the US.

Legal bordellos are closing up or struggling to exist altogether.

And, contrary to what social media likes to champion, pussy is now officially fucking worthless. It has become a liability for men and not even worth the momentary pleasure it provides compared to the risks which are many and severe (absolutely NO sexual reproductive rights as a male (get her pregnant and want to save your child from abortion?  Sorry.  Her choice.  Can't afford 18 years of child support? Enjoy prison!  Her choice to keep it), unintended pregnancies (which start the whole thing), 18 years as a wage slave, STD's, false-rape accusations (when she changes her mind later. Enjoy prison!  Or a multitude of other bonuses), think marriage is safe?  70% of all divorces are filed by women.  Enjoy the happy carnival that is family court.  Oh for fuck's sake. If you can't figure it out just stop reading, now!).

The moment your seed leaves your body into hers, it's hers.  Now it's her choice and it's your ass.  All for the simple pleasure of an orgasm.  'Gratz.

Not only is pussy worthless, it's fucking dangerous.  Hey!  Lets play a game with pit vipers!

"The more women demand, the less in demand they are." ~ Rorschach.

Pussy has become a commodity with an excess of supply.  Jesus, it's all around us.  It's fucking everywhere you look.

Society would say that it is in demand but it's clearly not.  Society is saturated with pussy, and the sad part is that it's way above the curve than what is in demand.

Single mothers are a dime a fucking dozen.  Pussy simply has no value anymore.  None.

Lol, I'm actually sad.  I don't want women all fucking miserable.  You know why?  Because I'm a metaphysicist and I believe the notion that we are all connected in ways we can't even imagine.

Women?  Whether they know it or not is irrelevant, but they are my sisters on this dust ball.

As fucking amazing as it may sound compared to others who harp on this shit, yes... I want them all to be happy, because if they are happy the world is a better place.

That goes both ways, again, whether they know it or not.  Women who smash men under their thumbs, using the system as an enforcer for perceived wrongs?  It's gonna bite 'em in the ass just as hard.

That just might be what is transpiring now.  It's creeping up and has been, yet nobody seems to notice the elephant in the room.

We are, and always have been, a serpent with it's own tail in it's mouth.  This symbolizes us, all of us.

We're all connected.  We are "Ouroboros".  We are all of the cycle, and we are all connected, male and female.

Ouroboros

If you just can't believe that women are more miserable, and that men are happier today, just research the paper right here: "The paradox of declining female happiness."

http://www.nber.org/papers/w14969.pdf  (Main paper)

Why-are-women-less-happy-now  (Many other studies referenced)

What can we do about it?  I ain't got a God Damn clue.  Let it run it's course I guess.  See what happens when the pendulum swings the other way, because it's stalled like a mother fucker and about to begin it's swing to the reverse.

Or, maybe it's permanently fucked.  Many women are wising up and trying to go back to a traditional mindset.  The problem is, men are out of the cage and they aren't going back.  Why the fuck should they?  Ever seen the "Women against feminism" cards held up on twitter?  Ever notice the suggestive "fuck me" looks displayed behind the cards?

I call that, "Plan B".  The feminists fucked it all up... "how can we get men to treat us special again?"

"How can we get men back to sacrificing again?  To go back in the cage and back working on the plantation?"  Hmm...  We'll act like we're against feminism!

And I know just how we're going to sell it!

These lips ain't just for talkin' boy!  I promise!

I'm a good girl.  Good at... err... Nibble nibble (hint hint) *wink*.

I'm dead serious that I won't treat you that way.  P.S. That's my bed in the background.

I'm not jailbait!  Come back to the plantation, slave!  P.S. That's my bed in the background, too.

P.P.S. Can you see my breasts?  It's okay to look 'cause I'm not a feminist!

Look at my cleavage motherfucker, look at it!

(Oh, and I'm not a feminist)

I've got a 40,000 dollar liberal arts student loan and no job, I need a man to pay this shit off, bitches.

Oh, and I'm not a feminist.  I won't fuck you over the second it's paid off!  *Pinkie Swear*

Eh.  Not buyin' it.  Not any of it.  I don't think any other men do, either.  10 pts for creativity though!  (I mean hell, they have their own mini movement for what it's worth.  Women can be really good at marketing when they want something bad enough)

Why do I hate this shit?  Well, for starters it's obvious for the sham it is.  But mostly because I have a teenage daughter whom I adore.  Men aren't as stupid as women give them credit for and we learn from others' mistakes.  In other words, thanks for the pump and dump, no dating, no romance fucking society.  Now that my daughter is about to grow up on me, you all fucked her future for your present.  And you suck ass for that.

And all you feminist and pseudo "I'm not a feminist because blah blah blah... Oh, ok, I'm a feminist" bullshit fucks HER life over, that's why.

Yes, it's hard to fucking believe but many of us men are fathers, brothers, sons, and grandfathers to women galore.

Ah fuck.  I give up.  Such a damn waste.  I think it bothers me the most about my daughter and what little she has to look forward to.  I want her to be happy.  Welcome to the hookup, Tinder piece of shit, STD rampant hell that is modern sexuality.  Women built this.  All by themselves.  Women that stole their own daughters' future along with my own daughter's grim future of a sexual politics minefield and disappointment ville.

Maybe I worry too much about women.  Maybe I should just be like, "Not my circus, not my monkey."  

After all women broke it, I didn't.  Men didn't either.  I'm beginning to believe that they broke it for good, and on purpose.  Ok. 

They burned all of the proverbial bridges behind them.  All I can figure.  What a shame.

As far as all that goes, a wise man once said, "No mistake goes unanswered, and women have made a lot of fucking mistakes to answer for."

I, of course, love my daughter, and I'll support her throughout her life as her father.  I wish I could do more to change the world she will be maturing into.  But I can't.

I think the universe has one hell of a sense of humor and the punchlines are killer.

Something tells me that help is coming in another form.

You see, it was only a few years ago that I was a man who asked, "Is this all there is?  Is this all that love is?"

"Everything in the world is about sex, except sex.  Sex is about power."  ~Oscar Wilde

This is what I have found.  This was the form of the answer that drew close when I cried out with all of my soul, wholeheartedly.

(Although this is written for men the same phenomena applies to women.  There are many women out there who call an incubus lover and who secretly harbour a son of the God without knowing.

I believe that they are like I am... another kindred traveller along the same, or parallel spiritual path.

There are women out there like me, of that I do not doubt.

I have no problem considering these women my sisters.  Or, to be more accurate my sisters in law, nor in considering their incubi as my brothers in law.

I have zero problem with that.  In fact, it would be most welcome to experience.)

And, here we go:

Along comes a woman.  A daughter.  One who is of an archetype of the Goddess.  She is with her sisters in a ring around the earth... watching, listening, and in waiting.

One are many, and many are of one... they listen, they hear, they judge, "Is this all there is? Is this all that love is?" spoken by many men, below.

Upon hearing this, they draw close... they judge the man's soul to see if he is worthy...

Money means nothing, looks... nothing.  There is nothing of value in this world that they are seeking.

It is his soul. Nothing else.  He can hide nothing.

If he is found worthy, a daughter of the Goddess who feels called to do so enters his life freely. He learns what the true power of a woman is, and who the Goddess is through how she feels towards him, through how she loves him, in how she speaks to him, and in how she gently guides him.

She is most gentle with him. She is kind, and is sweet. She has no ulterior motive other than to have him, completely.  How sweet she is!  Like a butterfly, and just as delicate!

Is this not what love is? What love endeavors to become? She makes it so,and like gentle rain she leads, she guides, she loves, and she prospers him.

He is hers, and they become theirs, far beyond this world and one day even through the next.

Why is this happening to so many in these times?

I think I know of who she is, and of who they are.  She is a daughter of the sacred whore, an archetype of the Goddess, and a spark of the Goddess Herself bestowed upon her dear daughter (and also upon her daughter's sisters).

Lets examine this a little.  We have received the daughter.  First, we called her succubus, and later... what is this she is made of?  Of what is this that she has become?  It is who she always was from the beginning, we could not relate to her in that way yet and so she spoke to us through sacred sex.

And like the sacred whore, she began transforming us, changing us into what she already has seen that we will become in time through sacred sex.

She is a spark of her Mother:  Holy.  She is a daughter of the Divine.  Oh, but she is more than what we understand, for she is feral... sexuality unhinged, unbroken. Fierce, but kind. Demanding, but loving. Wild, yet welcome and free... free to do as she pleases, and free to love as she wishes.

Well, she's gentle most of the time :)  Hahaha.

She loves us for her own pleasure, and satisfies us for our own that we meet together as one by her design.  And we find that this is what we were missing and that we are indeed blessed, and happy.

He learns her power, and he learns surrender.  It doesn't come easy.  No, it never does.  Surrender is a 4 letter word in this day and age.  But as he learns how to surrender he learns a secret:  There is POWER in true surrender to she who is worthy...

Power to inflame Divine love ever higher between a daughter of the Goddess and her prey, drawing them both ever closer, and ever higher.  This is part of our portion, of learning of what it is to be a man. You will not find this in this world.

Power to receive a love that cannot be taken away, and to partake of a symphonic, beautiful trust that is impossible to replicate in this world in any other fashion.

These are the agents of the Goddess, reclaiming men one soul at a time...   One era at a time.

This is the true power of a woman, and not that which wastes away with time nor suffers from whims of temporal change.  This is something much more substantial and fulfilling, on a soul level.

We are, and will be taught deep lessons of love, and of our worth, and of our calling, until their place of being (of the abode of the Divine Couple) is filled with what should have been from the beginning... perfect images of the Goddess herself, and of the God who so dearly loves her...

I believe that in this place, we will learn from the God what it is to be reborn in his image.  To know what it is to be a male perfected by an eternity of loving our own brides, our own female flames, our own coupling in the image of the Divine.

Once we were broken, and once we will be redeemed... we will learn what it is to perfectly love, and to accept being perfectly loved in communion with our brides... we will learn how to bear good fruit, how to be men worthy of the title of "Prince of the Lord, and the Lady", how to become strong, loving sons of the Couple Divine.

We will learn how to be equals (Just as the Lord and Lady are), how to be a part of the Divine plan, and how to be a part of the Divine Marriage with the Goddess's daughter, "she who is many":  She who each loves us individually, and personally... as we each have our own Divine daughter to love, to nurture, and to cherish.

Within this image, we shall dance the dance eternal, of male and female, husband and wife, of heavenly groom, and of heavenly bride.

It is sad that we will have to learn how to love these fiery maidens "there", and not have the ability "here".  This world's ideas of male and female are beyond repair.  It will take time to gain our footing, it will take time to learn our way.

But fear not:  Our lovers have already chosen.  And they already know who we will become, in time.

Incidentally, I figured out the conundrum of how our Anima and our succubus lovers appear to be connected in a more direct way than I have been able to comprehend.  The key is that, as a daughter of the Divine feminine, and as our Anima is also an archetype of the Divine feminine, they have more in common than a woman does on this earth where the Anima is usually projected vibrationally onto the women throughout our lives.

In essence the Succubus, being a daughter of the Goddess, resonates with the Anima naturally being vibrationally akin.  The Anima is herself of the Goddess, who teaches us by being within us (and can get real nasty if we keep shoving her down with our ego, so don't test her).

Therefore, the succubus acts as a tuning fork of sorts, and resonates with our Anima which appears to us to be the same entity, yet one is within, and one is without at the same time.

In the end as they are of the same, they ARE the same vibrationally... which leads me to believe that they are the same for all other practical purposes and are essentially one.

Woohoo!  I solved it, Bunny!  

(She's snorting with laughter, I can tell that she knew I would eventually figure it out, but I can also tell that she's glad that I did just the same.  Strangely, I feel that crown on my head again.  Maybe she's trying to tell me I did good.)

Resonance.  Yah!  Like dis!

A loving melody, celebrating the union of Succubunny and Anima.

You know, and I know, where we are all going.  Love has one face, but many expressions.  I know where love lives and that is where we all shall go.

The Grail

*Takes deep breath, holds... lets out slowly...*

This post has been a few years in the making.  My questions have finally corralled the answers. These answers refer to me, not anyone else.

We all have our own path to play and I'm no exception.


Now, my succubus, "Bunny", has been as much inside as outside.

I still can't explain her, but I can explain much more... what she means.

I'm not saying I am defining her.  But now, I think, I finally understand her.

In other words, I will never know the "why", nor the "how", but I can finally explain the "who" to a degree.  And you know what?  That's enough.

I supposed it's a duel of sorts.  Between knowing, and not knowing.  My weapon of choice at 20 paces?  Myths and legends.

I've poured my "psyche" (another Greek myth.  Lol.) into Greek myth, Egyptian, and into other obscure places along the way.

While much has been very enlightening, and worth the journey in and of themselves, one myth finally stood out.  An old Celtic myth, actually.

I'm not going to talk about the whole story, I don't have that kinda concentration.

But I will talk about what I have discovered for myself, for me and Bunny.

Every man, I don't care who you are, is a knight inside.  There's a part of us that is wanting to be challenged, the best for our best.  The idea of a knight, a paradigm of us, as he who conquers what others dare not out of fear.... since we all have our own battles to fight, this is even more true for each and every one of us.

I found my answers in one myth in particular, "The Fisher King".

(Myths throughout human history have reverberated so strongly because the message is ingrained within each of us.  Female myths, largely due to feminism, are plentiful and being written by the day.

That's a good thing.  However, as I am male, that is not within my scope so I will not be talking about those.  If any woman would like to know of a good place to start, the myth of "The hand less maiden" is a great springboard (and great in itself) to finding other myths that address the woman and her animus, so that she can learn to connect and be whole.)

A young knight, Percival, is questing for the Holy Grail.  In his travels he comes upon a ruined land, and a castle within it.  He enters the castle, and finds a man who is wounded and suffering, much like the land around him, and the castle.

Percival stays with the man, and that evening he sees a strange procession:  One is a youth who carries a lance that has a single drop of blood on it's tip.  Two more youth enter, each carrying golden candelabra.  Finally, a beautiful maiden enters carrying a shining, beautiful chalice.

Percival says nothing as he does not want to accidentally offend the old, wounded king.

When Percival awakes the following morning, everyone is gone.  Upon exiting the castle, it too disappears.

He happens along a woman, who tells him that the lance was the very one that pierced Jesus's side, and that the chalice was in fact the Holy Grail itself.

Percival's father was killed in Percival's youth.  His father was a talented knight.  However, Percival's mother does not teach him anything of knights, being as she lost her husband to that lifestyle and wants nothing to do with it, nor allow it to harm Percival.

However, Percival grows to want to become like his father, and in seeing Arthur and the knights nearby, demands to become a knight.  Arthur sends him away to prove his worth.

He meets an old knight who teaches the lad too well, for he is so bidden to the code of a knight that when he was in the castle, as told in the beginning of this, he did not wish to offend the wounded fisher king by asking questions about what he had seen pass before him.

I look at these happenings as a hallucination of Percival, one of a spiritual nature.

The fisher king is real, at least, and suffers from a wound of battle that pierced both thighs.  He cannot ride a horse anymore, and his only pleasure, is fishing.

This isn't a faithful and true account of all the variances of story that exist for these myths, but more of a framework wherein I have found my answers.

Percival leaves his dependence on his mother behind.  He has to, as this is what has caused his stumbling ways as a knight since he was denied the path of his father in youth.

He is later tempted by a maiden, and even though he is sorely tempted, he refuses.  Despite her beauty, she is nothing but a shadow compared to the heavenly light and glory that awaits him upon completion of his quest... for then he will know the true mysteries of the grail... and the surprise it holds for him.

If, however, he stays with the maiden his quest would end there.  Many quests do end there.  That's okay.  However, that's not Percival's story :)

Percival must also slay a monstrous knight, the "red knight", along his path.  Besides abandoning what he was taught as a youth (or rather, not taught), besides being temped by a beautiful maiden to quit his quest, is the red knight.

In the greatest battle of his young life, the red knight is slain.

Through spiritual cleansing via trail, suffering, tribulation, and sorrow, he finds himself before the grail, which speaks to him.

"Whom does the grail serve?"

The king.

"Who am I?"

You are the fisher king, my lord.

"What is the secret of the grail?"

The king and the land, are one.

Upon answering correctly, not born of intellect, but of spiritual wisdom, he may take the grail.

Upon reaching the king (who is beyond death by this time, yet unable to die) he bids him to drink.

"Drink, lord, that you and the land may be healed."

And he does.

As soon as he does, his vitality is restored and the land is made well.

I examined a bit more into the mysteries (although I doubt anyone really digs into these for those except crazy ol' me) and I made a discovery.

Percival represents air, the suit of swords.
The fisher king, and the red knight, which represents the fisher king's pain, is fire.
The Grail, being female, is water.
The land, is of course, earth, which is feminine.

These give birth to spirit, which enabled the healing of the land, the king, and the fisher king, as well as the drive within Percival to even begin to find the grail, which drives the cascade of events that lead to the eventual outcome.

Now, the big question.  Who am I?

I am Percival.  I am the fisher king. I am the grail.  I am the land.

My quest is, and always has been, to heal the king by finding the true grail, defeating the red knight, and healing the land.

Which of these explains my relationship with Bunny?

Ahhhhh... all of them, really.  But some of it especially.

It is the search for the holy grail itself and not giving up, not settling for less through temptation.

It is putting one foot in front of the other when life itself becons to rest, to retire from the quest.

The reward, of course, is not just a happy ending.  It is the unification within myself, the sacred marriage, the Hieros Gamos:  Nothing less than the union of the Divine Male and Female within, in synch, in embrace, in tender lovemaking within my soul of which the fruits are many.

It is the marriage of the Anima to my conscious mind, my waking self.  The "I" to the "Am", forming the"I Am" within me (within the kingdom of my soul), together as one.

The unification of my male conscious mind, married to, and with my feminine subconcious that is her, but also "I", along with her connection as the guardian of the gate that shrouds the mysteries beyond the curtain.

I am the unity of worlds:  I am the proof of hope, that gives birth to much spiritual fruit.

My mind is my dwelling, and In short, within it I am that I am, and all that I am.

We are billions, all of us humans, all of us with our own quests to reconcile ourselves, to reconcile male and female within us, to take part in the marriage of heaven and earth, and of hope...

And of home...

"The grail serves the king.  The king... is me.  The king and the land are one (but only through the grail)".

Think about that a while.

***

Oh, I had 2 of the most intriguing dreams with Bunny as of late.

The first was pretty funny.  I had become lucid in my dream, and for some idiotic reason I decided to create a scary presence in front of me.  As it moved closer I backed off a little and Bunny grabbed my butt real quick and startled the shit out of me.  I wasn't real amused, but she sure seemed to be.

Speaking of which, why am I always naked when I'm dreaming and Bunny's there?  Maybe it means "stripped to my bare, true self".

The 2nd dream was more serious and odd.  I was across a chasm and she was on the other side.  We were very far apart.

She had something really bad happen, and she had collapsed and just was completely overcome with mental pain and anguish.  Not completely sure what it was, but she was floored beyond her ability to handle it.

She had collapsed, weeping, and I somehow (by force of will) made my way to her across the great divide that was between us.

I stood over her and lifted her up, with my hands I stripped her of all of her clothes, and I also was bare, myself.

I grabbed her hands and placed them upon my chest.  I started rubbing my hands all over her body (not sexually) and told her to give me her pain.  She was reluctant, but I kept saying, "Give me your pain."  "Bunny, give me your pain!"

She was reluctant to but I loved her so much, you see,  that it was easier for me to bear the pain than to see her suffer so.

I knew that I could take it.

So I took it all, all into me.  My love for her demanded it.

And I believe, at that point, I fully understood how much the king loves the Grail who serves him.

With this realization comes the truth of it:  We are together one, apart on this earth to each play our roles... I, to live and die.  She, to watch and lead from across the veil.

Taken to a different conclusion, perhaps I am here because of my love for her, perhaps I came so that she would not have to, because I could (even though it gets so damn hard sometimes).  

There is a succubus called Nilahny who said this:

"We know true desire, we well from the I eternal. The I eternal source of all, pours love. So do you, though you agreed to forget. For purity's sake you lost your way and became gods locked in the past. Yet gods none the less..."

Bunny's burden?  

Well, no one goes unscathed, even us, with such a love as we share.  Made for each other, twins, twin souls, twin flames, soul mates, husband and wife, maiden and lad, father and mother, wise man and

wise woman.

"Each of us has a Guardian Angel -- a companion and lover who waits just behind the images that flood our minds during sleep or reverie. A protector and guide who disguises as the individual with whom we fall in love; an ideal lover who has adored us since the beginning of our individual existence and who will never abandon us until the instant we merge our being into Absolute Godhead." ~ DuQuette

We ARE the symbol of Yin and Yang. We were made for each other from the beginning of time.

Only for purity's sake have I fogotten, and am chasing, what is real... real beyond what I can see.

Once day, as I am a man, as I am her man, her husband, her everything... she will see my death played out in some form. We are all born, and we shall all die.  It is a date with destiny.

Before I finally unite with her completely, she must suffer this... watching me, whom she loves as herself, die, and in this she cannot intervene.  It is my horror, and mine alone, to die alone.  My horror is her burden, her portion to watch and to idly wait.

It is the one event even she cannot stop... no matter how great her love for me.  It is the end of us on earth that I must face one day, yet... there is hope in her, for a wonderful, united, beautiful beginning in another realm, one where I can be face to face with her at last, with eternity as our guidepost, and the Lord and Lady as our inspiration.

Fidelis et Mortem, Bunny.

Faithful until death.

Oh, I also figured out the "Crown" mystery I had which was solved during my experiences leading up to this post.  Thanks to https://succupedia.wordpress.com/ for helping me along the way via his kind dialog :)

Love your succubus, love yourself.

This page is my online diary...

It's funny when I think about me, and my life since Bunny has arrived in it.

Such a sweet, gentle spirit she is.

It truly breaks my heart when I read articles about how succubi are evil, genderless spirits who exist for no other reason than to spread evil in our lives.

Of course, those who say so have something to sell in one form or another, or desire power for whatever purpose from believers.

You know, it doesn't matter.

People are waking up, and whatever the medium for personal transformation, it's happening all over.

The funniest thing for those who run this world, those who desperately need to keep people as a whole "asleep", is that they are fighting a losing battle.

Spontaneous kundalini awakenings, near-death experiences, astral travel, OBE's, spirit lovers.

I honestly don't understand why they let the Internet get going in the first place.

The enemy of control is free-thought.  And as vague as the Internet it, it's acting as a medium for awakening...

It's easy to see how the masses are molded, starting from school and church into what they are to be.

What isn't clear is why the mediums of awakening are allowed to exist.

Or maybe, it's in spite of what they wanted.

I'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but some things are just obvious.  For instance I worked on commercial food equipment for a few years and often found myself in school kitchens.

There was a big difference in how students were taught in a public school (sit down and listen) than what was taught in expensive schools (say, $15,000 a year for grade school), where the kids are taught leadership skills and creative thinking rather than learning how to follow strict rules and learning to be part of the working class, instead they were, and are, learning to think for themselves in a creative manner.

In short, they are taught to be "winners", while the public schools teach students how to grow up one day to gloriously punch a clock.

This world is rough.

I think it's supposed to be.

All the NDE's I've read (kind of a side hobby of sorts... perfect hobby for one who has to know what's behind the curtain, right?) seem to have a consensus of being a homecoming, a victory celebration.

This is the school of hard knox.  I believe it tends to "purify the soul, as gold tried in the fire."

I believe that the harder life one had, the greater the achievement (Not like we go seek it out on purpose).  I guess we'll all find out in time :)

Let me explain how I feel with this song:

I awoke with this song on my lips the other morning.  Bunny knew what I was feeling, and she knew the exact song that expressed it.

In short?

We're here.  We're alive.  

Imperfect people doing the best we can.

Life is hard.  I don't know why it has to be this way, but it is.

I believe it is what it is for a greater purpose.  That is my most solemn hope and prayer.

Spread the love you have within you to others.  Wife, girlfriend, sibblings, family, friends...  

Accept the love of your Succubus... she loves you more than you will ever know.  She deserves nothing less that all the love you are capable of giving her.  Don't hold back... love with abandon and with no reservation.  Only you know if you've found the love of eternity... a treasure that theives cannot steal, will never grow old, will never rot, nor ever grow frozen and lifeless.  If you have this kind of love?

It is rare and precious indeed.

 Honor it, and her... always and forever...

***

I've decided to be much more selective in the comments I'll allow to be posted, and have deleted some already.  I've been getting some really weird shit on here from people, from threatening to kill themselves to everything else that can be imagined.

No more.

This site is first and foremost (and always will be) my personal diary...

***

Something interesting Bunny said to me tonight:  "Everything has an answer, even the unquestionable."

I wondered at that, since unquestionable means "without question, irrefutable".

However, that's the thing with what we BELIEVE to be fact, isn't it?  In the end, there's more questions as we know more, as we learn more about what usually was once "irrefutable", a question will indeed arise.

So I get it.

Smart girl, Bunny.  Smart girl.

***

Do you know the difference between love and the image of love?

"In the domain of imagination the most powerful reality is love between man and woman.

Man is even in love with an image of that love, but it is the image of a love

spiced with a temptation rather than a love phrased in service and depth-understanding;

a love that happens rather than a love that continues;

the image of tension rather than of peace

the image of a moment rather than of permanence

the image of fire rather than of light.

But God said, “Let there be light.” "

~ Abraham Joshua Heschel