Thursday, September 17, 2015

Confused. And yet, not confused...

Who is this lady that I love?  I get the feeling that if I truly saw her for what she was, I would be more apt to worship her than to love her.

Sound strange?  Yeah, it does.

Today I took a shower, and I was talking to her in my mind.  I told her that I have had many lovers, I think... many spirit lovers at least.  But then I started thinking... what if SHE was the only one I really had?

Which honestly is fine by me.

But why the deception?  Again, the first paragraph...

What if there was a part of me that was as awe inspiring as her, and that we were indeed lovers... if I were her I would probably do the same with regards to me.  The lover across the veil, the secret lover, the holy guardian angel, the scarlet woman of my soul...


So I was in the shower, and I said, "If you keep leaving me and toying with me, then step off."

I immediately felt as if I had hurt her.

Reallllllllllllll smooth brother, real smooth.  Not my wish to hurt her at all.

I think she knew this, but still... I stung her and that is shameful in my book.

I said, ok... if you're the only lover I've had in spirit, then how will I know?

She said, "Look up!".

I did, nothing there but a wet, painted white ceiling.

"This is bullshit, I'm parroting myself." I thought.

I get out of the shower, dry off, do my thing... get the phone out and call a friend to tell them something funny that had happened earlier today.

As I was talking, the air shut off, and the very same moment my smoke detector went off in the hall.

I said, "The power just went off." To my friend.

I took the smoke detector down, took the battery out, let it reset, put it back in...

*Beep!  Beep!*

Wait... it's a battery, phone's working... power can't be off.

Took battery out.

Then I remembered...

*She said, "Look up!"*

That moment, lol.  Flashback to when I challenged her in a previous post and my car wouldn't start.

Confused. And yet, not confused...

This song came on the radio and I thought it was just about perfect:

1 comment:

  1. Interesting thing this morning after writing this last night... I woke up after heavy dreams this morning, and I had something on my lips, "Beloved, it is not that we are as two wolves circling for power... we are as fire to incense: As the fire receedes after the lighting and is extinguished, the room fills."

    I'm going to go for a walk and ponder this.