Meh. It is what it is. I'm happy if a spirit wants to help me improve my life, even if I can't mount it. Lol. There's plenty wrong in my life to fix so I welcome the help.
Yeah, I'm wanting to summon another spirit, a succubus spirit, pretty soon. Once you get addicted to succubus sex there is no other.
Poor Rafe. Not invited to any succubus parties. *Big Frown*
Come to me my little lust muffin. I'll give you all you need to feed. Careful you don't fall in love. I did the same with Taco Bell.
The magick side of things is going along ok. Kind of slow but still making progress. I get the feeling that the spirit I have now is more into magick with me than anything different.
That's ok.
I'm going to continue calling her Abbi unless she enlightens me otherwise.
If I had to describe how she feels all wrapped up in a picture, it's this:
Serene, direct, powerful.
All the divination work I've done so far on our relationship becons for a non-sexual pairing, that of teacher and student. There's something else... spirits are often mirrors and reflect to us who we are. In her case she COULD be a lover but I feel and I think she feels that something would be lost. The image I would be reflecting would best be served as it is... one of knowledge and intuition. I'm not saying that someone can't be taught by a lover, it's just this relationship seems infinitely special and treated differently than anything else I've ever had. So it stays as she wills it.
Now... So I guess I need a gameplan in getting a sexual succubus spirit now. I'm guessing that Eisheth Zenunim is a good choice to petition the letter from. I really like her. I don't know why exactly she just seems compatible with my spiritual self or something. I hope it all works out for the benefit of all involved.
I honestly miss succubus pushups.
Well... It's been ONE YEAR and some change sincle I've had a succubus hover over me. Look at these lovely ladies in the holding area of succubus customer service. Don't they just scream, "shipped"? The poor dears are probably wondering if they'll get a kind master or a dumbass. Actually, they don't look like they have a care in the world...
Bah. See you on the flipside. Wish me luck. I have to say that I know there are those that mock me for my succubi not sticking around. If I knew why they leave I'd do my best to keep that from happening. I don't know why they leave... it's not from lack of love or attention. Sometimes I wonder if they are given to me to experience life with me, but only for a short time and then they return. That's always been in the back of my mind I guess. I don't know. Like I said, it's not from lack of love or attention.
The other side of the coin is that I suffer from a lot of medical issues and I think that isn't condusive to keeping a succubus around sometimes. I'm on a lot of medicine and it's not very gentle on me. My body is wrecked.
Regardless of this I've always tried to provide a good home for them.
Another nagging thought I've had in the back of my mind is that I might have always had only one very powerful succubus who likes to change her persona over time. One who wants to explore and experience things through a completely different lens of personality. To me it would just seem that a succubus would leave and another take her place... not knowing that they are one and the same.
I try my best.
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
But through the hardest hour, below the cruelest sign
I know I’m waking up from this wretched lie
Wake up, wake up, wake up
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