Erin, the Studious

Been wondering what to write the last couple days as I've felt it was time for a post.  I think I've got it sorted now.

Erin's been watching me awful close lately.  Paying attention to what I'm listening to, what I'm watching, what I'm dreaming about... 

No, this isn't a sort of paranoia per se, but a shift on her part into being very very interested in me as of late and in what I am doing, thinking, acting, being.

Sexy time has taken a back seat it seems, and that's alright.  Ebbs and flows of things I suspect.

However I think that this "lull" is mainly because she's been so interested in my behavior and in it's many respects.

The only thing I've been doing different is that I've been watching a lot of the Swedenborg Foundation's "Off the Left Eye" programming.

I've been learning a lot about heaven and about heavenly marriage which is different than earthly marriage.  It's lit in me the fire of hope that I will find my soul mate some day.  I've just been thinking differently before.

I'm not sure where that puts Erin, which is probably why she's studying me so intently.

The ramifications of this I'm not sure I understand.  For all I know she's that mate that will transcend time and space.  Perhaps when my life is over?  Perhaps.  I'm almost 50 years old and on heavy medicines that are known to reduce life expectancies so I don't think it will be a long wait.

Or, is Erin threatened by my new beliefs?  Does she feel threatened that I have found hope in eventually finding my "happily ever after" or that she might not be who God wants me to end up with?  Ah!  Hold the stones and don't throw them:  I'm not done yet.

One can argue for me to just ask her and I have.  She's being quite secretive about her activities.

I'm not worried only concerned because I don't know what's going on in that pretty little mind of hers.

I'm not saying that I want rid of her... God forbid.  Think that succubus spirits are away from God's light?  Nope.  In Isaiah Lilith and Her children are blessed with their own land that no one is allowed to take from them under seal of God.  I'm thinking a whole lot of stuff happened to make that moment arrive and to be as permanent as it is.

Even if God gives us our mates after death, there are some who translate from this world and continue being each other's "ever after" throughout the afterlife with God's blessing.

So, I accept that this is a possibility and that Erin could be that person for me, with me, through me, throughout eternity.  Succubus or not... doesn't matter.

My mind has been opened, however, and perhaps this is what is causing her concern as to what other ideas I come up with... Or rather what I will continue to learn and how that will affect me.

Which affects her...

Which frankly her concern causes me concern as well... 

What does she know that she's not telling me?

Blessings,

Rafe GB.