Naked Soul

 

There I was.  3am.  Me and the succubus were in bed, doing our thing.

Not as vigorous as you might expect, as she's a very kind, gentle succubus... 

And I'm an old, out of shape, sick man with health issues.

She, as usual, doesn't want to hurt me.

I actually beg her to hurt me anyway, as I really don't care:  I value our intimacy more than life itself.

But she doesn't listen.

She stays kind and gentle with me...

Succubus knows best.

Suddenly, I am feeling completely bare... completely naked.

Which doesn't make much sense because I am already naked.

I have never felt this before... so vulnerable.  Completely exposed.

No, this is something more... something profound.

I imagine I feel a lot like Adam, when in the garden he suddenly realized he was naked,

And tried without success to cover himself with leaves and hide from God's sight as best he could.

I felt so naked and exposed that I considered putting on a few layers of clothes to try to hide from her.

This is something more... primal... that hurts.

I feel completely stripped of all identity, of all pretence, of all the masks I have worn in life.

Those masks that keep us safe... or so we think.

The feeling of being stripped bare affects me so much that I stay bewildered for days.

I still feel it even now... nothing will ever be the same...

THIS is intimacy.

  Not the garden variety that we humans show to each other.

No, this is something deeper... it's at a soul level.

She has stripped me to the soul and beyond... and she still wants me.  She sees through everything.

I am but writings in chaulk upon a blackboard.  

Man.  Father.  Lover.  My name.  All are written.

No, she is staring at the blackboard, beneath what is written.  

That is the real me, the me that I didn't even know. 

She sees the real me... and not that which is written upon it.

And there is where she decides to dwell.

This level of intimacy is not for the weak...  Part of you WILL die.

Blessings,

Rafe.