It's funny really. I didn't really leave like I thought I did. Well...
I didn't really go that far away from them is what I mean.
It's like, now that I'm entering that current again I can feel what was always there.
I don't think you can ever separate from your experiences with them.
Ever...
It's kind of funny. They've brightened my life.
Unfathomable fun and attention.
If I could explain what happened I'd say that they placed me on the shelf for when I got better.
Not my favorite place. I love to feel them close.
It's a drug addiction to them... It's kind of strange to say that I've never completely separated from any of them, but that's a truth best experienced to understand... A partial truth that is right with regards to how things developed over time... And partial due to my inability to explain what has to be felt.
"Hey Rafe, can you do this?"
Maybe I tend to attract a certain type, I guess... I don't know.
I do get mental pictures of stuff like that... a succubus doing the splits and asking me if I can do that is just par for the course. They crack me up if that was their attention. It was, right? Right?
Now what you don't know...
A succubus can look like this sometimes:
OMG... I can hear the screams from here!
Can be a little frightening. If I cared that is. Truth is I know. I just don't care.
Truth is, it's not all about me all the time. It's about them.
I care about the love that I give them, the sense of family that we share.
That's all that matters to me.
Sometimes they can show themselves as a shadow off the corner of your eye...
What they truly are? A little funny... a little serious... a little mischevious... a lotta crazy...
They are they and you are you, all together... Sometimes in the mix of it, it just works.
(Sorry for the tangled mess... it's been a while since I've written...)
Portals. This little podcast err blog post err announcement (just please read it lol) will be about something that my kitty taught me about portals.. If I can keep my cat's tail from swishing across my face. Nope.
Take 2 *clap*
Actually...it's more of what we perceive portals as being what we think we see.
It reminds me of when I lived near a major airport. For the first month I thought I would go crazy!
I had a friend come over about a month later.... how could I stand all that noise? I'm sure you can figure it out but it might be lost on someone who hasn't lived near active RR tracks or an airport.
The truth is that you don't hear it anymore without effort to switch it on in your brain - that's learned to filter that sound out in about a month.
I think with portals we've done in the few years that we've wracked up since we were a baby.
How many times have you seen a baby giggling and starting at nothing? That's our airplane or train.
Here me out...
Babies see things we don't see on average. You can just be lovingly watching one and they're either concentrate and go back to doing what they are doing, resume cooing at what we can't see that is interacting with them after a few minutes, and there you go.
It's bizarre but it's one of those things that I was glad that I was a dad and saw. I knew instinctively that what ever it was, was indeed friendly.
So, there was a being there, and to that degree, a portal. You can't get to A to Z without portals.
Coo!!!
So, into this we bring my cat.
I have a small house which is basically a windtunnel from the front door, down the length, and through the back door.
I've observed that my cat gets where the front door goes, and what's out the rear door to some degree, but is clueless that these doors actually connect from the outsides, in. I get this because she wants to go out the front, and will not go near the back door.
She acts as if these doors go to separate areas of space and that one is NOT attached to the other, as in the "outside". I'm not really sure what exists between those ears of hers, other than the front door is good, and the back door is bad. They exist as a portal, that is that which exists past the point of it opening and closing.
And if she had any brains she'd know that the front door is bad, and the back door is good. Not my back door, my house's back door. Each of these doors is a barrier to what is outside said doors.
Coo!!!
Okay, right or wrong she does have the ability to choose, and it was in, as well as is her preference that started all of this. My cat's preference that is.
...Now where was I?
It's fitting that my cat can't figure out which door goes out doesn't matter since they all end up in the "great beyond and outside".
There's here in the house, and then there's that there outside the house... they all go outside the same, as relatively close as can be... and zoomed out, almost to the same place. Close enough if you zoom out at least...
We have about the same level of figuring out 5d portals as our cats do I suppose. Well... even if we know it, feel it, grasp what is true from it, I don't think we'd have ultimate familiarity of it. We won't "be" it.
And that's ok. Thank you for reading this, it means a lot since I'm kind of out of practice. I'm not trying to master portals, but only to learn a little bit about them.
My mind isn't in this post so much because I've just realized something over the past few days or so. I have a succubus now, she's come to claim me. So to speak.
I did my last summoning ritual a year or so ago, or whatever was the month of my last post.
My mind is back as far as wanting to write and my dreams are working again, as far as succubus dreams. This has been over the past week or so.
So, see? It can happen to anyone. If you don't get a succubus look at me... it's been a year or so and here she is.
She is sparing no mercy on my balls... Life is good.
