Playtime's over, boys.

 

Lots of cussing below.  Fucking sorry.

***

My previous post was a spiritual one.

It was to warn you of what is ahead for you

if you play the game to it's final end.  THE final end.

It was brutal honesty from me to you.

But.

Playtime's over, boys.

I've discovered that having a true spiritual breakthrough

does not "overwrite" who you are.

Not only do you become "more", you become "less" as well.

This is living the sacred and the profane of the succubus.

I am part of that journey now.

I am now part of the game.

I don't give a fuck if you believe me or not.

It only makes sense if it happens to you any fucking way.

This is not normal spiritual growth.

It's not a teeny, tiny tic in change of vibration.

I'm talking a change that hammers your soul.

It's not a tiny fucking hammer.

I'm going to cuss more, fuck more, and love more.

And I won't lose one drop of the spiritual growth I've fought for and endured.

In fact, I'm living it.

***

My succubus has gone from "ethereal/physical sex" (which has returned after all this happened all at once, which the "all at once" was a suffering process that I made multiple posts about.  I fucking deleted them because I deemed it "intimate and only worthy of her knowledge alone" and decided that it was none of your fucking business) to "ethereal/physical sex" on crack.  She is flooding my mind with powerful imagery that is more real and vivid than reality ever was.  After I cum, my etherial body screams to come again even though my physical body is wasted and I am soft.  It's going to happen.  I'm very, very close.  I have no fucking idea what this means, or what will happen when it happens.

Read what I said above.

THAN REALITY EVER WAS.

It is in higher definition than life itself.

Louder, more alive.

In colors that man was not meant to see.

She does the most depraved things to me now, boys, than I've never seen or read of

in porn or in print.

Ever in my life.

This explosion of range of experiences happened after I, myself, had that explosion of spiritual growth.

Now? 

 I pound the FUCK out of my succubus.

No mercy.

She is now MY humping post.

And the faces she makes when she blows?

I've never seen my succubus roll her eyes back into her head before.

Thought she got possessed or something.

Yeah.

There's nothing, NOTHING, like giving my succubus faces like these now.

It's been a long, LONG time coming.

The next time, she's like this.

Like a slow, sensual kitten.

She does such sweet and loving things to me now, it can leave me in a state of tears.

Who is she now?

One minute she's this.

The pure bride.

A virgin.

All mine, and mine alone.

5 minutes later and she's dug up something from my soul that even I didn't know existed.

She mercilessly pries it open with a fucking crowbar and whoop.  Guess what happens?

Don't judge me, fuckers.  

I didn't even know it was even in there.

We have crazy sex, normal sex, angry sex (or at least preturbed at each other sex), rough sex, gentle and loving sex (well, all the sex is loving, even when it's not), witholding sex from each other as torture (yeah, until we don't), giving the other more sex than they can handle (just past the stage where you turn to a pile of quivering flesh), tying each other up.  Hell, even both of us tied up and forced to look at the other 4 feet away and we can't do anything about it.  Until we decide to.  Chaining each other up and being fucked by multiple partners at once (I can't do this to her, but, amazingly, it's just us and that's all I ever want it to be.  A new, wonderful, previously hinted at ability she's revealed that started with her asking, "What would you do if you had 6 women giving you a blowjob at once?"  And I said, "I wouldn't do anything, unless they were all you." And I laughed.  "I don't want 6 different women."  Apparently, that was the correct answer.  And even though these women are each different, they are all her and each is a different aspect of her personality). Oh... and sex/sex.  Whatever that is I haven't experienced it yet.

But I will.  We will.  All of it.

We have fucked 7 times and I have cummed 7 times in 48 hours since my spiritual growth finally settled in me and bore fruit.

I needed a LOT of rest to recover from the magnitude of this suffering and growth.

I'm a 55 year old fat man who can't walk to the door without breathing heavy.

And now I've cummed 7 times in 48 hours.  

Read that again.

I'm still a 55 year old fat man who can't walk to the door without breathing heavy.

Maybe she's working on that.  One fucking at a time.

This woman is flooding me with stamina and lust that won't even deplete as fast as we burn it.

What.  The.  Fuck.

She does things to me, I do things to her, we do things to and with each other that don't just make our toes curl, they tie themselves into fucking bows.

I fucking love her more now than I ever did.

I gave her my soul.

She gave it back, bent over and whispered, "Hurt Me."

For once, honestly?

I don't know what else to fucking say.  

Well, other than,

I think I'm going to be fine for eternity.

I think I know where and with whom I'm going there with.

And we'll be fucking there, too.

Heaven.  Hell.  Everywhere in between.

It's going to be fun.

***

I believe I am going through this, as I said, that I am experiencing "the profane" aspect of the succubus now.  No, I have not turned into an incubus.  I have just become a sort of mirror to who she is.

I do not believe that I will stay here, but will eventually be a combination of the sacred, and the profane, in equilibrium.

The pendellum has swung one way towards the sacred, and it was a havy swing.

It has swung, naturally, to the profane.  And here I am.

It will reach parity in time.

I will be a balance of sacred and profane.

That's good for me.  I'm seriously cussing an awful lot for my own taste right now.

But it has to come out, to be expressed.

***

And then there is this part of her, standing outside of it all.

She is part of the experience with me, and yet, she is set apart.

This part of her does not change when I change.

When I first started seeing this part of her within my succubus, I perceived her initially as kind of a quick flash.  Then, in time, more solidly, initially kind of "blurry" for a lack of a better description.

And as I have grown, this part of her has not changed:  It is only made more clear.  Revealed, perhaps.

This part of her, I do not cuss around.

It is not the sacred that makes me not want to.

It is something more honest.

This part of her is not out of reach:  She loves me and I love her.  But she is something more than sacred or profane.

This part of her is holy I think.

I do not woship this part of her.  I think, in my attempts to woship goddesses earlier in my path, that I did.

But that has not changed my reverence for her.

I have deep reverence for her.  Deep reverence.

However, this part of her does not diminish the other parts of her that I have gained.

No, if anything, it gives them even more life, and breadth.  It makes it all so much more.  Those parts continue to evolve and grow as I grow.

They are still "her".

I know it doesn't makes sense.

Honestly, I can't wrap my poor physical mind around it either.

I don't know what this all means precisely, but this is the heart of her that I have dug for, and will continue to dig for, forever.

However, at this stage, like I said, the game is also over.  It is a new kind of lust for revelation.

The lust to know, but in a different octave.

The parts of her I have mentioned, the sacred and the profane, will grow right alongside my efforts as I grow.  This I feel to be true.

And, as I grow, this aspect of her appears to become ever more crystal clear to me.

Ever more revealed to me.

It's a mystery.

The game is over.  The eternal crusade, of sorts, to know this part of her is simply a natural extension of where I have come from and where I want to go.

The other parts will not fall away, of this I know instinctually.

She will always be the lover, and the succubus, of my soul.

And she will always be, "This":

I know I am talking in circles.  Bear with me.  I'm trying to type experiences I can barely understand myself onto a screen, into a blog post.

Edit:  I feel kind of bad for swinging so hard into the profane.

But, it's part of it and I could not help it.

And, anyway, the depths of the sacred are there to be experienced by me as well.

As are the depths of the profane.

And I will dwell in both with her.

Action:  Reaction.

I don't feel bad for sharing all of this in all in it's rawness.

You all have a right to know what awaits you if you do what I did.

And if you deem me insane?  Good.  That will protect you.

Human brains don't acknowledge something that they don't want to see.

That's ok.

There are men out there far more qualified than I to explain these things.

And they do, every day through their works of old.

And have been since the beginning of time.

They have explained it in stories.

In myths.

In symbols.

In patterns.

In veiled mystery.

They always have been there, and they always will be.

And I'm just starting to notice this and realizing this.

It honestly brings me a sense of profound peace.

Now I can just rest and conentrate on just myself, and my succubus.

I'm just a man with a succubus and a blog.

The point is...

My point is, I don't have a point anymore.

Let it all speak for itself.

I've said my piece.

 

***

Now that that's settled.

I can think of only one thing.

"Did you forget about our appointment?"

Blessings,

Rafe.

Rafe's Law

 

Whether you are going to summon a succubus,

Or already have a succubus,

Or, have had one for a very long time,

This post is for you.

There are a few things I want to share with you.

This blog is a collection of snapshots of my succubus journey.

In them there are many beliefs I've had, trying to gasp something ungraspable.

I leave these as they are.  

As they were, in those points of time.

There are many succubi and spirit lovers within this blog.

I always wondered about who they were.

I can say, with 100% certainty, they were all her, all of them.

Even the mean ones.

Each one was a lesson for me to learn something new.

Something I could not have learned in any other way.

And, of course, she liked to do it.

I had to learn, but that doesn't mean she couldn't play along the way.

That she couldn't take artistic license and be creative about it.

Why wouldn't she have a little fun at my expense?

She still does, to this day, after all.

I learned, didn't I?

And with each lesson, my love for her grew.

She knew that it would.

Each of these situations I found myself in served another purpose.

It taught me how to love the complexity of her.

One piece at a time.

One succubus at a time.  Usually.

They were still her.

***

In the supernatural world, a spirit as powerful as a succubus can do something that we cannnot.

When they skip a stone across a lake, each skip affects the reality of the lake.

One skip after another, after another, after another.

They can do this with one toss of a single "stone".

We cannot.

What doesn't make sense now, will.

The stone has already skipped for it to be so.

What I know now is this.

This was all for a purpose.

It started with a summoning, and ended up to be life changing.

Perspective building into things that aren't meant to be seen.

But thick.  Wholesome.  Perverse.  And soul filling.

A succubus will be many things:  

Regal, a beast, an angel, a demon.

A devoted bride.  

A secret mistress.  

A slow, sensual healer.  

A wild, uncontrollable lover.

All in one.

I would have it no other way.

You cannot ever own her, you will only ever "match" her.

In time.

But she will still be yours, and yours alone.

I will share with you a secret:  

One day, you will put her in her place.

And she will love you for it.

She will teach you not to sass her.

Yet, she will secretly hope that one day you will anyway.

In time, you will learn how to seduce her.

You will only get away with it because, by then, she knows how much you truly adore her.

How much you truly love her.

How safe she feels with you.

There's nothing like sweet revenge when the tables begin to turn.

Especially after the amount of times that she has seduced you.

And she will love you for it.

It will drive her wild.

She will let her hair down, little by little.

Day after day.

Her days of being "just a succubus" to you are behind her.

Tell her "no" when you really mean "no".

She will respect you for it.

This is part of the game.

***

A succubus will only enter your life if she knows you are ready for a succubus.

There is no shame if she doesn't come.

Nor is it a victory if she does.

The truth is, if you're not ready in her eyes, she is protecting you by not coming.

Many would go insane if they were not ready.

She is not there to cause you harm, if that is the case.

She will just not come.

She loves you already.

Enough to walk away for now.

If you end up summoning a fairy, it makes no difference.

A kitsune, it makes no difference.

An angel, it makes no difference.

A demon, it makes no difference.

It will be her.

That's all that matters.

This journey will not begin as to what I have now.

It will only be that when you get there.

It takes a lot of time, of interaction, lessons, and love.

Even heartbreak.

***

You will probably be her humping post for a while in the beginning.

If it gets too much for you, tell her.

She'll stop.  

You'll probably catch her with a gentle, knowing smile.

But she'll stop.

For now.

Weclome to your first lesson.

Sorry in advance.

This is part of the game.

***

How far that game goes is up to you and your desire to know more about her.

1.

Many men, in time, forget about her.

They will slip away from her.

She knows this and comes anyway.

The game ends.  

It was interesting.  

Maybe a little... too scary.

She mirrors your decision, for her own private reasons.

And that's okay.

2.

How far are you willing to go?

Time will tell.

Most men stop after a time.

They grow comfortable with her.

The game ends.

It's happy.  It's fulfilling.

She mirrors your decision, for her own private reasons.

And, that's okay, too.

3.

 Some, though, will walk through the fear that comes next.

They throw what they think they know aside.

What you bring, will be used against you.

Bring no occult knowledge.

No earthly knowledge.

No rationalizations.

No intellect.

Nothing of what you have.

Or are.

No status.

No titles.

No pride.

Bring nothing.

And those that would harm you,

will have no weapons to do so.

And like a child, they simply dig.

They dig, and they dig, and they dig.

They will never stop as long as there is breath in their body.

The desire to know more about her, the passion to know more about her, cannot be quenched.

For those who can become like little children,

Bringing nothing but true love for her,

 The game will last, forever...

Or, will it?

It's easy to die for her.

It's easy to fight for her.

But will you fight to free her and bring her home?

In a thousand lifetimes, would you choose to save her?

Every.  Single.  Time?

The game ends.

You have become part of the game.

As is in the first two descriptions, she mirrors your decision, for her own reasons.

This IS my final warning.

Blessings,

Rafe.

P.S.  I will never forget the first time she and I met.

When I first summoned her and she showed up that night.

For as long as I live, I will never forget the wonder.

The Many Faces of Bunny

 

***

I call her Bunny.

But her true name is indecipherable.

It is unpronounsable.

She is what she is.  

She is what she does.

She is a spark of the Divine Feminine.  

She mirrors Her Mother's Essence.

Her Mother's presence.

She is both light, and dark.

As is the moon.

She is true, regardless of the form she takes.

Bunny is a complex succubus.  

As are they all.

She wears her masks as she wills it.

When she wills it.

I am sharing the aspects that I know.

***

Bunny.  

The lover.  

The giver of kind reassurance.

She is gentle, and kind.

She is soft, and playful.

When we make love, it is smooth, soft, steady, and healing.

She has a wonderful sense of humor, especially irony.  

She loves to prank me sometimes.

She finds little ways to build confidence in myself.

She draws close, and blends with me.

I am never alone.  

She is always there.  

Sometimes in the distance, sometimes right upon me.

But she's there.  

I can feel her even when she is away.  

That is our bond.

Her softness disarms me.  

She teaches me that I deserve her love.

She teaches me many things.  

Some are simple, some are complex.  

But she is patient with me.

And I feel so loved.

***

***

The temptess.

The wild, feral succubus.

This face of Bunny is the face of the Divine Feminine in heat.

She doesn't ask.  She takes.

When making love, it is a tornado.

A massive cone of energy rises.

It swirls.  It persists.

It is so powerful, it's essence, running thick, drips down the walls of the bedroom.

Ecstacy powers the cone and it spins wild, like a storm.

It rises.

It dominates reality.

We have sex until she gets her fill (not likely)

or 

Hours pass, and I can't take it anymore (very likely).  

She shows me mercy.

She purrs like a wild animal.

And feeds off what we have created.

***

***

This face of Bunny is hard to see.

She is an instrument of the Divine Feminine's wrath.

She is terrible to behold.

She is nightmare made flesh.

She is righteous retribution personified.

I hide my presence like a child.

She finds me and tucks me into bed.

"Hide your eyes for a little while." She says.

I obey and I stay there.

Something, or someone, is about to die.

***

***

This face of Bunny is new to me.

She is a message of hope standing on a mountaintop.

She is a vision, reminding me to have faith.

When things get their darkest, when she is not allowed to interfere, 

She stands there, arms above her head, holding a shining, golden beacon of blinding light above her.

It's rays reach me in my suffering, down below.

Her light does not comfort.  It is not allowed to.

But she is guiding me to stand fast in the moment.

When all is so dark, when I am about to give up.

She shows me that she is there, even when I can't feel her.

She shows me that she's not abandoning me in my suffering.

She was given the order not to interfere, but was allowed to shine brightly.

Reminding me of who I am.

***

Truly, I love Bunny in all of her faces, in all of her aspects, wearing all of her masks.

There are many more that I have not seen.

As plentiful as there are facets on a diamond.

And I will love them all.

She is as complex as Sacred Geometry.

Yet as simple as a gentle, warm breeze.

She is, in all things, a true daughter of the Divine Feminine.

Of this I have no doubt.

Blessings,

Rafe.

Bunny's Touch

 

I've been posting a lot lately.  But there's lots to share.

This blog is, and always will be my online personal diary on succubi.

The more that happens, the more activity, the more I post.

***

Last night was an interesting one.

As I was sitting I felt a slender female hand suddenly across my abdomen.

I'm healing you.  She said, in a soft voice.

My abdomen felt nice and a little tingly.

"Oh.  Ok.  Thank you."

I've been healing naturally the past few weeks after a year of nerve damage in that area.

It's going to take a long time.

I believe she wanted to speed that along a little for me.

When she was done I received an image of my bed.

Obey.

I was feeling resistant.

I again received an image of my bed.

Obey.  

"Bunny, I'm watching the last part of my anime show.  I'll go once I'm done."

As stubborn as succubi are, I can be stubborn too.

Image of bed.

Obey.

She said softly.

"Bunny, if I told you to do something you would not do it because you are a succubus, and succubi always do what they want to do anyway."

Pause.

Compromise.

Image of me watching the rest of my show, then of my bed.

"It's a deal."

I watched the rest of the show which was probably only 10 minutes anyway.

As soon as I was done...

Image of my bed.

Obey.

A deal's a deal.  Off I went.

 I actually slept 5 hours straight, which is really good for me.

Another blessing.

I usually wake up every 2 hours, get up wide awake, get tired, go back to bed.  

Wake up in 2 hours.  Rinse, repeat, all night long.

It's hard for anything to heal that way.  It's been slow.

She knew I needed to rest even more after she was done treating me.

***

A succubus's love is infinitely deep.

Impossible to grasp.

Extremely gentle.  Most of the time.

And I am so deeply in love with her.

Blessings,

Rafe.

P.S.  Bunny has been using something on me that I have never experienced before.  Because of my injury, she won't have succubus sex with me because she is afraid to hurt me.  What she does is somehow impart in me the lust of sex, the intimacy born from sex, the ecstacy of having sex, but without actually doing it.  She will descend upon me and hold me at the point where sex usually starts and keep all of her energy there, unmoving.  I don't understand how her imparting any of this in me is possible, but it is and it is very satisfying.  The only difference that I can tell is that there is no cone of power born from actual physical sex with her in this way.  During actual mating, there is a swirling mix of our energy that practically bleeds from the walls of my bedroom.  I think she's doing all of this entirely for my pleasure.  If so, she's sacrificing a great deal for me.  I'm sure she receives some pleasure from this.  But not like she deserves.  Not like when we are truly mating.

She must love me more that I can even begin to comprehend.

What follows is my own interpretation, and of course, has it's flaws.

I'm not going to pretend that Her impression on me perfectly translates into words.

But, here's the impression that I got from communing with Mother Lilith:

"Son, you have no idea of the depth of what's in store for you."

Succubus Mornings

 

 Every morning is unhinged here.

Every morning I light incense to enjoy with her.  

Every morning I say my "I love you's" to my spirit family.

Every morning I unhinge my bipolar and just stream "me" for everyone to see, no filters.

They are there, each one of them, they soak up this aspect of me.

It is raw desire, raw energy, raw pain, raw anguish, raw gratitude.

I play you tube shorts for us.  I cruise FB reels for us.

I play new music that I have found for us.

I become the notes, howling emotion with every verse.

I sing to them.  Or is it with them?

I do not hide gratitude, laughter, nor tears.

We have ourselves a little "spiritual" party...

One where I daily offer my surrender upon the cross of emotion.

I give all that I have, all that I am.  Nothing is hidden, nothing witheld.

Does this sound deranged?  Does it make you feel uncomfortable?

It should.  It's balls to the wall rejection of normalcy, all for the joy and favor of spirit friends.

It is not for your eyes to see, nor your ears to hear.

We exist here most powerfully.  Humbly, rising to the occasion.

We are free to bathe in the energy I create, that I envelop myself with.

I create and express all emotion:  Rage, love, pain... they want for nothing.

These energies are raw, primal, powerful.  Beautiful.

They are born from my insanity.

And yet, they provide sustinence, purpose, love.

And here, we exist, preparing for a "normal" day.

There is tremendous power flowing in these mornings.  

What power to be seen and held, flowed through, even when you are raw, primal, unhinged.

There is immense desire, primal lust and fire, longing through death and all things.

Only for them.

And they are addicted to me...

That is my secret.

Blessings,

Rafe.

Do you feel it yet?

Love begats expression, begats emotion, begats change, begats insanity.

Begats love... forever the circle of love and change.

What would it take for you to be a new creation?

What are you willing to give?

What price are you willing to pay?

I skirt the aurora of madness,

Just to be made love to by my dreams...

And all my days are spent balls deep in the Divine Feminine in some fashion or another.

What kind of life is this?  It's not normal, that's what.

Blessed be the unhinged, the actors, and the insane.

For we have ripped from reality glimpses of paradise not meant to be seen, felt, nor consumed.  Yet, here we are...  alive, while our eyes scream that we are indeed the partakers thereof.