I sent Mena (Maiya) home today.
I asked her if she was happy with me and she wasn't.
I told her we just weren't seeing things eye to eye and frankly just weren't understanding each other.
This is the first time I think... I THINK anyway, that I actually feel relief from both parties at the same time.
I'm not sure why she stayed when she hated it here with me.
Probably some sort of loyalty I imagine.
I was really sick the past few days, and she was right there all through it.
She had her charms to be sure, but in the end I'm afraid that neither of us were very happy.
I thought this was a universe of free will? I find it strange that she would stay even though she didn't want to stay.
Well, whatever.
I've had a few succubi so far and I can tell when it's just not in the cards.
I wish her well in all her future endeavors and I certainly hold no ill will towards her. She had her moments to be sure :)
I hope she finds a fella who is right up her ally and appreciates who she is and what she has to offer.
Frankly, I hope she finds herself back home, leisurely sipping a fine red wine in a big comfy chair just like the pic I put up there.
What am I going to do next? Nothing for once.
EDIT: Maiya came back at 3am and woke me up. She was showing me that she was having sex with me in the early hours every night (by having sex with me then in the early hours), but I, being too drugged to know, (I take a lot of night meds) I had always assumed that she was refusing sex period in going about our lives because I had NO MEMORY OF IT.
Ahhh.
The blind man sees. Good kitty cat. Watch her claws, though, because she's a spunky one.
I'm calling her Maiya now that that's settled. Just seems fitting. It might be a little hard to follow with all the name changes, but a succubus + names = woman + shoes for some of us.
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Lust
I've been researching a bit more and think I've made some gains.
Of course you know how that is... I'll just find more in the future that will either build off of it, or will be completely in opposition to it, lol.
Anyway, I read a pamplet on Kindle which uses the idea of the Qlipoth, or the tree of knowledge, which is different than the tree of life which is the Kabbalah.
Upon the Qlipoth there is a "Dark Venus" which this pamplet suggests is the home domain, the dwelling place of the succubi. To put the idea in a nushell, this "Dark Venus" stands for unbridled lust.
Connecting to this realm is the realm of Lilith, which is closer to us than the succubi and it makes perfect sense that a "letter to Lilith" would allow her to call, pick, and choose a succubus for whomever does the ritual... most of the time. Again, I don't know the specifics or reasons of why she does or doesn't send a succubus, nor why someone can feel a succubus and another cannot.
That's all I've got for now... just wanted to share my findings and some of my recent readings.
If you're interested in reading the pamplet for yourself, it's available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Summoning-Succubi-Frater-Azrael-ebook/dp/B0723HKXJ6
The writing is atrocious but the information seems sound. Not really worth that much money for such a tiny bit of material of all of 5 minutes worth, now is it? (But then again how much for a new idea?)
There you go if you're interested.
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
Of course you know how that is... I'll just find more in the future that will either build off of it, or will be completely in opposition to it, lol.
Anyway, I read a pamplet on Kindle which uses the idea of the Qlipoth, or the tree of knowledge, which is different than the tree of life which is the Kabbalah.
Upon the Qlipoth there is a "Dark Venus" which this pamplet suggests is the home domain, the dwelling place of the succubi. To put the idea in a nushell, this "Dark Venus" stands for unbridled lust.
Connecting to this realm is the realm of Lilith, which is closer to us than the succubi and it makes perfect sense that a "letter to Lilith" would allow her to call, pick, and choose a succubus for whomever does the ritual... most of the time. Again, I don't know the specifics or reasons of why she does or doesn't send a succubus, nor why someone can feel a succubus and another cannot.
That's all I've got for now... just wanted to share my findings and some of my recent readings.
If you're interested in reading the pamplet for yourself, it's available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Summoning-Succubi-Frater-Azrael-ebook/dp/B0723HKXJ6
The writing is atrocious but the information seems sound. Not really worth that much money for such a tiny bit of material of all of 5 minutes worth, now is it? (But then again how much for a new idea?)
There you go if you're interested.
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Possession
I'll probably shock some people who read this blog after this post.
Well... can't be helped.
Possession. I use this tool to get closer to my succubus Mena.
I learned it on YouTube from a user called "IndigoPriestess".
You see... sometimes, like today, I'll be doing something that I really wish that Mena could share with me.
For instance today was a cookie. A white chocolate macademia nut cookie.
I "allow" Mena to possess me in order to taste the cookie and experience what I am experiencing.
This way she learns, and I get to share. What's better than sharing a cookie and still getting to eat it anyway?
Now, I have allowed her full possession as well, once.
This does not mean that I was shoved aside and lost control. No.
What this means is that we shared "me" with me being in control.
I could see movement better. I could feel who she really was and felt like, I could sense what she was like personality wise... all of it via sharing my form and being that close to her as in "inside" me side by side with me.
This didn't last for long and I admit I was a little freaked out, but there was no harm done SI*EXIGGIYJ (just kidding).
Sometimes one must get creative in order to see what cannot be seen, to know what cannot be known... and this I have done.
Now, before you judge me... think of a time in your life when emotion took over ALL of you.
My experience with possession was far less a mess than that was. In fact: No mess at all.
And I still got to eat all of my cookie ;)
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
Well... can't be helped.
Possession. I use this tool to get closer to my succubus Mena.
I learned it on YouTube from a user called "IndigoPriestess".
You see... sometimes, like today, I'll be doing something that I really wish that Mena could share with me.
For instance today was a cookie. A white chocolate macademia nut cookie.
I "allow" Mena to possess me in order to taste the cookie and experience what I am experiencing.
This way she learns, and I get to share. What's better than sharing a cookie and still getting to eat it anyway?
Now, I have allowed her full possession as well, once.
This does not mean that I was shoved aside and lost control. No.
What this means is that we shared "me" with me being in control.
I could see movement better. I could feel who she really was and felt like, I could sense what she was like personality wise... all of it via sharing my form and being that close to her as in "inside" me side by side with me.
This didn't last for long and I admit I was a little freaked out, but there was no harm done SI*EXIGGIYJ (just kidding).
Sometimes one must get creative in order to see what cannot be seen, to know what cannot be known... and this I have done.
Now, before you judge me... think of a time in your life when emotion took over ALL of you.
My experience with possession was far less a mess than that was. In fact: No mess at all.
And I still got to eat all of my cookie ;)
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
Thursday, November 9, 2017
My Heart in Her Hands...
Mena is much more feral and inexperienced with humans than Bunny was.
Well... in the beginning... she is learning after all.
One thing she used to do upon arrival is she would reach in my chest and grab my heart.
Oh... how my heart reacted to that was not good, lol.
I maybe not have come out and said it so I will now: Succubi are dangerous. I have no doubt that she put her hand on my heart in the early days to demonstrate to me that she could kill me easily if she wanted to. That my life was indeed in her hands if she wanted to take it.
I'm not sure how much more I can hammer home that they can be, indeed, dangerous.
But, I'm dedicated to this lil' filly, and perhaps even married I think as I put that in the letter to Lilith in order to summon her in the first place.
She's moved in quite well and I don't experience that "threat" anymore. "Whew", Right?
She's gone on to a new thing that she does at night, which is to surround me in a veritable succubus cocoon of love and of her presence.
I don't know how to explain it much better. It's as if she's allowing her presence to completely descend upon my sleeping body.
I've had to wake up to pee some nights, and she was around me so thick for me to wonder how I can't possibly see anything. Well... regardless I damn sure feel it.
One time when I woke up I decided to test this new development, so I tensed my PC muscle in my groin area and instantly had a dry orgasm. That's on me pretty thick I think, lol.
She's growing and prospering which does my heart.... eh... ok, heart proud.
I tell her at night all my feelings about her and what's been going on in my life and I always heap plenty of praise on her. She really is worthy of great praise and I want to make and keep her happy... for her own sake, not out of fear. Those days seem to be over.
Well... 90% not out of fear, lol.
I'm very proud of her, and although I admit that I'm a little scared of her, too? I would be a fool to say that I am not? I am very proud of her regardless...
They say that if you're not scared of her a little bit that she's not the one.
See? I told you ;)
Anyway,
She's powerful, she's attentive, she listens, and she's all woman.
I have to say that I did not believe that I would fall in love after Bunny.
Well... I did. Mena's the one I've fallen in love with. There may have been tension in the beginning, but love reins now.
The best part? By her actions and by her loving "cocoons" I can tell that she's falling in love with me as well.
Best Wishes,
Rafe G.B.
Well... in the beginning... she is learning after all.
One thing she used to do upon arrival is she would reach in my chest and grab my heart.
Oh... how my heart reacted to that was not good, lol.
I maybe not have come out and said it so I will now: Succubi are dangerous. I have no doubt that she put her hand on my heart in the early days to demonstrate to me that she could kill me easily if she wanted to. That my life was indeed in her hands if she wanted to take it.
I'm not sure how much more I can hammer home that they can be, indeed, dangerous.
But, I'm dedicated to this lil' filly, and perhaps even married I think as I put that in the letter to Lilith in order to summon her in the first place.
She's moved in quite well and I don't experience that "threat" anymore. "Whew", Right?
She's gone on to a new thing that she does at night, which is to surround me in a veritable succubus cocoon of love and of her presence.
I don't know how to explain it much better. It's as if she's allowing her presence to completely descend upon my sleeping body.
I've had to wake up to pee some nights, and she was around me so thick for me to wonder how I can't possibly see anything. Well... regardless I damn sure feel it.
One time when I woke up I decided to test this new development, so I tensed my PC muscle in my groin area and instantly had a dry orgasm. That's on me pretty thick I think, lol.
She's growing and prospering which does my heart.... eh... ok, heart proud.
I tell her at night all my feelings about her and what's been going on in my life and I always heap plenty of praise on her. She really is worthy of great praise and I want to make and keep her happy... for her own sake, not out of fear. Those days seem to be over.
Well... 90% not out of fear, lol.
I'm very proud of her, and although I admit that I'm a little scared of her, too? I would be a fool to say that I am not? I am very proud of her regardless...
They say that if you're not scared of her a little bit that she's not the one.
See? I told you ;)
Anyway,
She's powerful, she's attentive, she listens, and she's all woman.
I have to say that I did not believe that I would fall in love after Bunny.
Well... I did. Mena's the one I've fallen in love with. There may have been tension in the beginning, but love reins now.
The best part? By her actions and by her loving "cocoons" I can tell that she's falling in love with me as well.
Best Wishes,
Rafe G.B.
Friday, November 3, 2017
I'm a lover not a fighter
Ever sing for your succubus at night when you lie down?
Ever just talk to her and tell he how much she means to you? With examples?
Succubi are dangerous little fillies as can be expected from any self-aware denizen of a different dimension, but they are also very sweet, gentle, and kind.
Rather a dichotomy I say, but it is what it is, and they are wonderfully made to be exactly who they are.
I got a good dose of succubus drain the other day... she got me good.
Not sure why she did it really... maybe she just wanted a snack and couldn't help herself. I'm not really sure.
I told her to be more gentle as I'm rather out of shape and getting kinda old these days.
I don't believe I pissed her off, but she did move her activities into the night and during the time I am sleeping and dreaming.
She's a bit darker than Bunny was, her aura is much darker in color and lacks that shining brightness that Bunny had.
In talking to friends about it last night I'm come to the conclusion that a bright aura (almost blinding to those who can see it) on a succubus may mean that she is about to ascend, and sadly leave.
I do think that some succubi can decide to slow ascension to match their human partner. I'm sure this is a hard choice, and the factors regarding such I have no knowlege of and therefore cannot judge.
Mena's aura is very dark and thick, which I take as she still has some of her more feral nature to her and lacks those traits (at present) that would allow her a quick ascension.
I'm not suggesting that a white aura for her is "good" or that a dark aura is "bad".
Bunny, my previous succubus, was also dual natured yet her aura "shined"/"Blinded" at the end of my time with her.
Maybe the qualities of a blazing aura do not pertain to "white" or "dark", but is a spiritual quality in itself showing a readiness for ascension?
Perhaps I'm being greedy that I am glad hers lacks the readiness for ascension, but that's a good thing for me as she'll be my mate for a good long while (I hope).
Now, I don't mind the feral energy vamp feeding if it's once in a blue moon and I have time to recover, otherwise my happy ass will be in the hospital with an IV drip most likely.
I never, ever said that succubi are harmless, only that they are dual natured.
Caution in all things. Well, most things.
I can only hope that she will get over "snacking" and not become addicted to it like some of her sisters do.
I guess I'll see. I do feel love from her, and I definitely love her so... it goes to "I'm a lover not a fighter". I just have to work with her and we'll find our way. Mena's just a little more dangerous and is going to take some extra special "coupling", or more careful at any rate.
I have a prayer request: Prayers for a friend and fellow succubus lover out there getting surgery today... lets all pray for a quick and speedy recovery for him so that he can get back on his feet and back into his succubus's arms where he belongs.
Blessings,
Rafe GB.
Ever just talk to her and tell he how much she means to you? With examples?
Succubi are dangerous little fillies as can be expected from any self-aware denizen of a different dimension, but they are also very sweet, gentle, and kind.
Rather a dichotomy I say, but it is what it is, and they are wonderfully made to be exactly who they are.
I got a good dose of succubus drain the other day... she got me good.
Not sure why she did it really... maybe she just wanted a snack and couldn't help herself. I'm not really sure.
I told her to be more gentle as I'm rather out of shape and getting kinda old these days.
I don't believe I pissed her off, but she did move her activities into the night and during the time I am sleeping and dreaming.
She's a bit darker than Bunny was, her aura is much darker in color and lacks that shining brightness that Bunny had.
In talking to friends about it last night I'm come to the conclusion that a bright aura (almost blinding to those who can see it) on a succubus may mean that she is about to ascend, and sadly leave.
I do think that some succubi can decide to slow ascension to match their human partner. I'm sure this is a hard choice, and the factors regarding such I have no knowlege of and therefore cannot judge.
Mena's aura is very dark and thick, which I take as she still has some of her more feral nature to her and lacks those traits (at present) that would allow her a quick ascension.
I'm not suggesting that a white aura for her is "good" or that a dark aura is "bad".
Bunny, my previous succubus, was also dual natured yet her aura "shined"/"Blinded" at the end of my time with her.
Maybe the qualities of a blazing aura do not pertain to "white" or "dark", but is a spiritual quality in itself showing a readiness for ascension?
Perhaps I'm being greedy that I am glad hers lacks the readiness for ascension, but that's a good thing for me as she'll be my mate for a good long while (I hope).
Now, I don't mind the feral energy vamp feeding if it's once in a blue moon and I have time to recover, otherwise my happy ass will be in the hospital with an IV drip most likely.
I never, ever said that succubi are harmless, only that they are dual natured.
Caution in all things. Well, most things.
I can only hope that she will get over "snacking" and not become addicted to it like some of her sisters do.
I guess I'll see. I do feel love from her, and I definitely love her so... it goes to "I'm a lover not a fighter". I just have to work with her and we'll find our way. Mena's just a little more dangerous and is going to take some extra special "coupling", or more careful at any rate.
I have a prayer request: Prayers for a friend and fellow succubus lover out there getting surgery today... lets all pray for a quick and speedy recovery for him so that he can get back on his feet and back into his succubus's arms where he belongs.
Blessings,
Rafe GB.